Choices
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: Matt, a genius hacker and spy, is sent undercover at Wammys for the sole purpose of discovering the secrets of the mysterious letter known only as L. The only problem... he didn't plan on falling in love with his roommate. Some yaoi, Character death.
1. Prologue: Accept

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Death Note....

**AN**: I was supposed to have this out yesterday, but I kept getting sidetracked. Whops?

And for those of you who have read but not reviewed JNRR, you may want to if you ever want to see a sequel to it. ^_^

**Suggested Listening:** Extreme Ways (Bourne's Ultimatum) **by** Moby

**Prologue**: _Accept _

He walked slowly down the hallway despite being over ten minutes late to the meeting. A very 'important' one, or so the text on his phone had said. That had been five minutes before he rolled out of bed, and another five before he had even left his room.

It wasn't like he had all that far to go as he lived in the same building as where the meeting was taking place. He just preferred not to be rushed. He had a laid back attitude. Others called him lazy.

He just didn't care.

He pulled his cell phone free of his pocket and glanced at the time. Thirty minutes late; right on time, for him at any rate.

He knocked halfheartedly on the door before opening it despite not having been given the ok. He was only mildly surprised at the two people seated and waiting for him.

"One would think that when you receive a summons you would be on time for it." an elegant and business like woman stated sharply. She had short brown hair and brown eyes. Her name was Kiyomi Takada.

He sat down across the table from her and slouched.

"One would think that due to my chronic lateness you would send the message earlier so that I might be inclined to arrive on time." He told her. The male seated next to her smirked though he didn't comment, opting to stay silent for the moment.

Although her expression suggested that she was irritated Takada remained polite, for her, and continued on. "Here, this is the reason you were called here _over_ twenty minutes ago." withholding a smirk, he accepted the papers held out to him.

He merely had to glance at them to in order to get the gist of what was wanted. It sounded very interesting, and there was so little in this life that he found interesting anymore, even if he hadn't been expected to take it he probably would have.

He placed the papers on the table and grabbed a pen from the jar in front of him and signed his code name, it wasn't as though anyone went by their actual names other then the higher ups. And despite him being one of the best, he wasn't in that position.

"You have read everything over already?" Takada asked skeptically; he nodded and pulled a box out of his pocket.

"Will you accept or decline this mission?" she asked. He rolled his eyes and stuck a cigarette in his mouth though he didn't light it.

"It's not like I really have a choice in the matter, but I'll accept." he pushed the papers back towards her as she glared at him and sighed heavily while getting out more forms for him.

"I just need you to sign here-" she began; he cut her off, more because he could than him actually being annoyed.

"Look, just give me the paperwork. Believe it or not, this isn't my first assignment." Takada narrowed her eyes but her expression turned to dismay at the soft chuckle from her right.

"Haven't I told you to be nice to people?" the man asked. This is a man that he has had a lot of experience working for, how could he not after all?

"I'll be nicer when they'll be smarter. Or something like that." he mumbled while beginning to fill out the item requests form for the mission; which was in less than ten hours, or so the quick glance at the papers had said.

"You shouldn't talk to him like that, you-" Takada began only to be cut off once more.

"Miss Takada, it is not ladylike to get riled so easily. Matt is a good agent. Leave it at that." properly chastised, she set her head high and avoided looking at either of them.

Matt nearly laughed at that, though refrained from doing so as he knew his boss wouldn't appreciate it. It was rare that his boss, the man before him, was even in the building never mind sitting in on an actual meeting with one of the agents.

That just meant that the mission was rather high on his list of importance, and should _not_ be fucked up under _any_ circumstances.

It also meant that everyone was just a little more high strung or in some cases fawning over him. Or in Takada's case, trying to do both.

Matt supposed he was in a class all his own since he did neither things to the man in front of him. Though he did know to be respectful. Well, as much as a sixteen year old genius hacker and spy could be.

His boss didn't mind his attitude so much as long as he got his jobs done and done _well_. Light Yagami was not a man to cross, and there was no getting away once he had you in his sights.

He quickly finished his items list, mostly filled with nice high tech microphones, video cameras and other little gadgets. Though there were a few personal requests in there. From what he had read, he was expected to be odd at that place, to have quirks, so he was going to indulge.

"Done." Matt said simply before he pushed away from his seat. He didn't need Light or Takada to tell him the meeting was over. It was always the same.

But before leaving he couldn't help himself. He turned and looked directly at Takada, his unlit cigarette dangling precariously from his lips. "So where am I going?" Takada puffed up like a fish and glared at him so hard he couldn't help the smirk that filled his lips.

"Your requested things will be left in your room if I approve them. Get ready, Wammys won't be like anything you could ever imagine." Light told him with a raised eyebrow, seemingly having ignored his previous 'question'.

Matt let his smirk grow as he walked from the room and back into the dull and unappealing hallway.

No, he thought to himself, this was going to be much better than anything he could ever imagine. Especially the part about having to keep his mission secret from an entire orphanage full of genii just like himself.

"This should be fun." he mumbled as he calmly headed back to his room to pack. Or not. It depended on what level he left his game on.

**-End **_**Accept**_**-**

**AN**: So how did everyone like the prologue so far? This one I am very excited to be finally writing. You honestly have no idea, unless you know and talk to my beta Lady Hiroko (because I pester her about it like twice a day).

I already have over 25,000 words of this written, however none of my chapters are edited, so it will be slow going in the update department. (mostly because it seems that with this fic I am incapable of writing a short chapter)

See you in chapter 1. **REVIEW!!!!**


	2. Chapter 1: Roommate

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Death Note

**AN**: Soooo, this is kind of late… it was supposed to be out yesterday, or at least this morning, but I got like no sleep and have been fighting a tension headache all day… excuses I know. If you spot major errors that I missed tell me and I'll fix them (as I'm actually almost seeing double at the moment, so I cant quite tell if I got everything, hehe.)

... There is one sentence, comprised of eleven words, that is my absolute favorite out of this entire chapter. Can anyone find it?

**Suggested Listening:** Thnks Fr Th Mmrs **by **Fall out Boy

**Chapter One**: _Roommate_

Matt stared blankly out the window of the car and into the rainy, wet and dreary scenery of Winchester, England. He was rather tired after his flight as well as uncomfortable, though he didn't show either.

He was currently en-route to Wammys, being driven there after being personally picked up practically from the scene of his 'parents' deaths.

Matt had to hold back a smirk at that. Wammy certainly worked quickly when it came to finding genii, just as Light had said. Though the response had actually impressed Light, which was rather hard to do.

But it worked out better that way, as he had still been in his bloody clothing. Matt almost frowned at that. His background had been decided for him, personalized especially for him. He'd been correct when he'd assumed that he had no real choice in the matter when it came to accepting the assignment.

He was supposed to be an abused teen whose father had finally gone off the deep end and killed his mother and almost himself. The only problem was that he had to look the part in case Wammys did a physical. Light had no problem having someone kick the shit out of him for that to work out. Though it was also a warning; fuck up the job and expect more.

He so _loved_ his boss.

So at the moment he was covered in cuts and bruises, while he wore bloody clothing and pretty much hurt all over. So he _looked _the part. But that also meant he couldn't exactly act like himself either. Well he _could_, just sans the usually sarcastic remarks.

At least for a while…

He wasn't all that social to begin with, and living with criminals did nothing for him in that respect either. So he wouldn't have to fake being awkward in some situations, since he probably would actually be feeling it. Though having to show it was another matter... but that's what he got paid for so he would accomplish it somehow.

He nearly smirked, though it wouldn't fit his new image, as he thought about all the items that he had been allotted for the mission.

He had been given the OK for most of the equipment he'd wanted. Most. Light had said that he could get himself a laptop while here; that having one, since he would be hard pressed to hide something that big, would have seemed odd with his history. And he sort of agreed with that.

If his imaginary father had been abusing him, he doubted he would have been given something like a laptop for himself to enjoy. Though it still sucked that he'd have to wait to get a new one.

However, the thought of his indulgences made him happy. He's gotten Light to OK a carton or two of cigarettes. Which was good because he'd been almost out of them and had spent his last paycheck on a new Nintendo DS and games for it.

So he was more than slightly addicted to games, sue him.

The tiny camera's and other equipment alike had been rather hard to hide since he didn't actually have many places to hide them. He hadn't needed to worry at the airports because Light knew the right people and he had been waved passed security. And again with Wammy.

His backpack, as the only thing he had with him, didn't have many hidden pockets to hide things in which left him to find alternatives.

He even had a few of them in his pockets at the moment. Which was kind of hard since his jeans pockets were a little too tight, kind of like the rest of the fabric, which had made stuffing the cameras in there a little hard.

There had been no hope of hiding anything in his boots either. And his shirt didn't have pockets, though he wouldn't have hidden anything in there since it was torn and covered with his blood.

His hair was a mess and the goggles he wore were torn on one side. Really...Light just had to have them mess up his goggles didn't he?

At least he knew they would be replaced. Or that he could at least _ask _for a new pair. Wammy, upon picking him up, had stated that all of his clothing would be replaced and that the orphans of Wammys wanted for nothing.

Though he'd been told that the main conversation would take place once they were actually there.

And as Matt's eyes swam across the slowing scenery he figured they had finally arrived.

The place really was quite large, and obviously a lot of money had gone into it. Once he'd read over the mission papers completely he'd found out that Wammy was an inventor and had made god knew how much money from everything. As he looked at the multi storied orphanage Matt had to wonder just how many children and teens were actually there.

They exited the car silently and he followed Wammy into the orphanage. With the place being so large, it was going to make monitoring anything a bitch. Hell, he didn't even know if there were places they were restricted from entering, which would make his job just a tiny bit harder.

Not that it would really stop him; he wasn't one of the best for nothing.

They stopped just outside two large doors, where Wammy knocked and only entered once the person inside ok'd it. Matt assumed that it was Roger, the man who managed the place while Wammy was off doing things.

Wammy had explained that to him during the ride there. Not that he hadn't already known that. Light knew a lot about Wammys, just not everything, which was why Matt was there.

As they entered the room an aging man stood up from behind a desk and came to greet them. Matt forced himself to slightly flinch away from Roger's outstretched hand, like the good abuse victim he was supposed to be.

"Quillsh, are you certain this boy is the right material?" Matt loved how Roger spoke about him like he wasn't standing _right_ there.

"Yes, his scores are quite good. He may even manage to overtake some of the top spots." Wammy turned to him and smiled.

Roger sighed heavily. "Well, take a seat then. We have things to discuss. I suppose clothing will be first?" the man eased himself back into the chair and Matt wondered if he had back problems or something. It might be good to know for future reference. It was always good to know everything one could about ones subjects.

And everyone in that orphanage was his subjects. Though the main one had yet to show himself. Or herself. Though Light was certain it was a man.

"I believe we spoke briefly about this when I picked you up." Matt nodded but made sure not to say anything just yet.

"You will be allowed to choose your own clothing. We encourage individuality here, within limits of course." Yes, Matt supposed he had to say that. Imagine if someone wanted to express their individuality by walking around naked?

He was sure that wouldn't go over too well.

His answer had confused Wammy momentarily, when he'd motioned to the things he was wearing.

"You want more of the same?" Matt nodded while trying to hide his smirk. It was rather amusing, the entire situation actually. Well perhaps not the getting beaten up part of it. But it wasn't like it was the first time he'd had to do something of the sort for a mission. Really, the frequency of things like that made him wonder if Light just liked seeing him in pain.

The man _was_ rather twisted.

"Alright, since that is... settled, we will move on. You will need a new name if you are to stay here." he made a show of being confused by Roger's words. Roger sighed again and looked wholly annoyed with the entire situation, as he began to explain what Wammys was for.

Matt tuned Roger out at that point, all he was really doing was explaining that this place was set up to train the next L. And that no one went by their real names, not that it really bothered him as he lived using an alias anyway.

And that also brought about the main reason for this mission. L. The mysterious letter that had Light Yagami, also known as Kira in the underground, obsessed to the point of scary.

Light always got what he wanted. And the fact that he couldn't find out anything on the world's greatest detective... well it pissed him off to put it bluntly. Matt could understand that. Kind of like in his video games where only part of the secret was revealed and you found out you needed to level up another fifteen times before you got the rest.

His orders were to find out as much as he could about L, obviously things they didn't already know. And that included who his potential successors were. It was known that there were three of them, but no names or faces had been given.

And Matt doubted he would get the successors names from the actual people, so as soon as he got a laptop and installed his custom programs again, he had some hacking to do. Well… make that after all the electronics were up and running.

"Do you have anything in mind?" Matt only barely registered the question but knew it pertained to getting a new 'name'. A code name actually. An alias.

And he knew exactly what he was going to choose. It was perfect really, all things considered. He pretended to think on it for a few moments before he spoke.

"Matt."

"So the boy can speak." at that point in time, Matt was had rather begun to dislike Roger. So he made a mental note to cause as much trouble for this man as he could without getting caught; which really wouldn't be a problem for him.

They asked him a few more things, or rather Wammy did, about what he liked. He didn't really answer, and acted completely introverted and only nodded or shook his head. At least until Wammy said that it was to make sure that each child, or teen in his case, was kept comfortable provided it was within the law.

Matt bit his lip and just when it looked like Roger might interrupt he spoke. "Cigarettes, technology, games." which was of course completely truthful. Roger sighed again and produced a paper and pen.

"If you insist on being so very vague when actually speaking, then I suggest that you write a list instead." Matt inwardly smirked. Jackpot. He could now get his laptop as well as his games, that Light had forbidden him to bring.

And more of his unhealthy addiction.

He wrote down the brand of his cigarettes, his goggles, as well as stating that any new handheld game would be fine as long as it had a few games for it. As for the computer he was a bit more specific.

And while it would have looked odd had he gone to Wammys with his own computer, knowing _about_ them wasn't odd as his scores were highest in technology. So he was expected to know those types of things.

He was finished quickly and handed the paper and pen back to Roger, who looked rather surprised at his detailed requests though he didn't say anything. Roger then went on to explain the rules that were in place as well as the rankings system, with Wammy adding things in here and there.

Already there were things that hadn't been previously known. Light had never had an idea of how L was even beginning to choose his successors. But the rankings made everything come together. It would make sense to take the top three in the orphanage.

So it looked like he would be doing a few tests. Though it remained to be seen if he would actually have to try or not. He hoped not, it would be a pain to have to monitor as well as keep a certain spot.

Though it would be amusing if he, the new kid, suddenly took the top spot. Unlikely though with his utter lack of motivation.

He wasn't sure how long they'd been there, but he was rather relieved when Roger said they were finished and that Wammy would be showing him to his room. And that he would have a roommate.

Wasn't that lovely?

Matt had just passed the threshold of the office when he heard Roger ask Wammy 'if it was really a good idea to room him with _Mello_'.

"You know that it is the only option at the moment unless Mello proves too unruly again." Whammy spoke quietly and Matt made sure to appear oblivious to the conversation.

"I give the boy three days to a week before he asks to be moved. And that is being generous." Matt turned his head so that his smirk wouldn't be seen.

Three days to a week? That sounded like a challenge to him. It sounded like that 'Mello' character liked to cause problems. Matt wondered just how bad the boy was if they were expecting him to change rooms so soon.

He followed silently down the hallways, careful to mentally map out everything in his head since he would need to know his way around. He was tired of having to carry his backpack with him. It wasn't that it was heavy... he just didn't like having to haul it around everywhere.

They stopped three hallways and up one flight of stairs later, right in front of a very ordinary looking door. And a quick glance down the hallway he counted at least another seven like it. Though he knew it couldn't be the only hallway devoted to rooms.

Wammy knocked politely on the door and a gruff 'come in' was shouted from the other side. The door was opened Matt took one look at the short blonde hair, black leather and blue eyes and has to force himself not to laugh outright.

His roommate looked like something out of a gay mafia centerfold.

And he would have said so under normal circumstances, however it seemed his fun would have to be derailed in favor of the mission. Since he was supposed to be, you know, traumatized by his previous life. Or at least enough where he wasn't being a complete wiseass.

Matt stepped into the room after Wammy, and immediately deposited his backpack on the unused bed opposite of 'Mello'. Matt had a felling Mello was anything but _mellow_.

"Mello this is your new roommate, Matt." Wammy left it at that, though there seemed to be some sort of unspoken conversation between the two because Mello looked away, and seemed rather annoyed.

"Though we hadn't covered it before, each room has its own bathroom so you won't need to worry about showering with anyone else." he felt Mello's gaze as Wammy said that. Matt thought that the way Wammy worded things made it look like his situation had been much more than just abuse.

Or had they thought it had been more? Just what had Light put in the police report?

After a moment Matt rolled his eyes at himself; it wasn't as though he had actually been 'in' that situation. Though some parts of it were eerily similar…

"Now if you will excuse me, I will leave you to unpack." Wammy excused himself and Matt wondered if he was going to meet L. Wammy was after all, Watari.

The door was shut and he was alone with Mello. He made sure to keep his distance from the other boy. It made him seem a little skittish, and each person would draw their own conclusion from his actions. He had to wonder though, what was going on behind those piercing blue eyes.

It was a bit more than obvious that he was in dire need of a shower, with the current state his clothes were in. But it only took once glance back at Mello to make Matt haul the backpack with him into the bathroom.

He watched, as he closes the door, as Mello raised an eyebrow as he smirked and snapped of a piece of chocolate from a bar that had appeared out of nowhere.

Matt didn't really care what the blonde thought, he just knew that look. Mello would have gone through his things had he left them. And it most certainly would not have taken a genius to find all his hidden techs.

He was going to have to find a good place to hide them as the look in those blue eyes spoke of high intelligence, even for that place. Or that's what Matt felt at any rate.

He made sure to lock the door, as he wasn't certain what the blonde might do if he left it unlocked, he began to strip out of his clothes. Really, it was nice to be out of those things. He had been in them for entirely too long.

He only had one spare pair of clothing so he hoped that all the new stuff would be in soon. And knowing this place, it would be. He grinned; he couldn't wait for that laptop. It would also mean the real start of his mission.

Well, he had to place the microphones and mini cams first, but that was child's play for the most part. Provided he could slip away from everyone long enough to actually get things set up.

All the data recorded would be sent to the laptop, after he had made sure it was secure. Well parts of it.

Someone like L had to be allowed to hack into it, though he wasn't sure why L would need to look through a student's laptop, just in case. That wasn't to say he couldn't make it a challenge. He was supposed to be good at technology.

He turned on the water, and made sure that it was nice and hot, and stepped under the spray. He hissed in pain as open cuts began to throb and had to be careful when he washed. The bathroom was rather large, well at least bigger than what he had back at HQ.

And the temperature didn't fluctuate either.

The bathroom was completely steamed up as he stepped, dripping wet, from the shower. It felt good to him so he didn't care. He found a towel in the small closet off to the corner and dried himself.

As he changed into new clothes, Matt looked at his bruised form in the mirror and smirked. Yes, it was certainly shaping up to be an interesting assignment already.

**-End **_**Roommate**_**-**

**AN**: Haha, I wrote this in one go. Too bad I didn't edit then too… *falls over*

**Special thanks to my reviewers**: foreverunloved, Tempo, Zena Silverwing, RainbowJapan, BlindAffection, Kyler Conroy, daniclone, Ironytoday, snappygirl, Galaxy The Element Girl, Arra, Ciel

Review???

**1/4/10:** Edited! Yay…. Probably still needs to be edited again….


	3. Chapter 2: Words

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Death Note....

**AN**: OMG this chapter just would not end! And took forever to edit… But I am having soooo much fun with this fic and have found out that it is going to be much longer than I had originally intended.... damn.

Oh yes... my favorite line from last chapter was 'His roommate looked like something out of a gay mafia centerfold' hehe. Maybe I'll think of something special for those who guessed right (BlindAffection, Zena Silverwing, Killer Teddy 101) but I promise nothing.

Unless you just want me to answer a question… which I can do. ^_^

**Suggested Listening**: I Begin To Wonder **by** Dannii Minogue**; **You're Going Down** by **Sick Puppies (really... I found this amusing considering the second half of this chapter....)

**Chapter Two**: _Words_

Matt stood, carefully, on top of the sink and stretched above as far as he could. His tongue poked out the side of his mouth in concentration as he unscrewed the grating of the ceiling vent.

He placed the grate into the sink as he gathered his dirty shirt, which was now wrapped around all his tech things, and shoved it in the opening of the vent. He made sure it couldn't be seen and he screwed the grate back in place and silently hopped off the counter.

He was more than happy with that hiding place. He highly doubted that Mello or anyone else would look there in the next few days. He just needed to hide it all until the new laptop arrived.

At least that was the plan.

He took one last look in the mirror and frowned at the sight of his goggles. He'd cleaned them as best he could, but his own blood had stained parts of it, and they were still torn. If he wasn't careful they could break before he got a replacement.

With an almost audible sigh he left the bathroom, with the remainder of his old clothing in his arms and his backpack. He felt Mello gaze as the blonde watched him, almost as though he were sizing him up. His shoulders tensed and it had nothing to do with acting.

He felt... wary around the blonde. Mello was supposed to be 'unruly' and yet he had so far not said one word to him nor done anything to him. That made Matt antsy.

He wasn't worried about getting attacked or anything, he just didn't like the false calm he suspected the blonde had implemented. Or did Mello just give every new roommate one night to themselves before becoming a terror?

It was also possible that his previous roommates had been too sensitive and couldn't take the slightest rough treatment. Though the definition of 'rough' was dependant on the person.

Anything was possible. However, only time would tell which was correct concerning his new roommate.

Matt didn't really have anything to put away, as his backpack was now mostly empty, and he was for once at a loss concerning what to do. He usually had his games, a hacking job, a mission, or internet to amuse him.

Now he had none of those things, for a small while at least, and he was rather... bored. He decided to just lie on his new bed, which was _really_ comfortable, and do nothing. He had his eyes closed though he was nowhere near relaxed enough to sleep.

Matt let his thoughts drift for a while though he mainly thought about possible placements for the cameras. A microphone would need to go into Roger's office somehow. He would probably have to do that at night...

"Hey." Matt turned his head and cracked an eye open, though he knew that his eyes couldn't be seen from that angle. "It's dinner." Mello said around his chocolate before he walked from the room. Matt rolled his eyes but got up to follow anyway.

He_ did _need to know where things were.

The hallway had gotten rather crowded and it didn't help that everyone frequently stopped to glance at him. Matt almost sighed. He rather disliked being in the spotlight as people tended to pay more attention to you then.

But after a few moments he shrugged it off. It wasn't as though he had a set time table for the mission, so if he had to wait a few extra days before he set things up to make sure he want being watched too closely, he could.

Light had said it would probably take months to even get a small bit of useful information. It wasn't as though L stayed there often, at least that's what reports had suggested.

Thought he was still supposed to check in once a week after he got his laptop up and running. The model he had asked for came with a built in webcam so he could easily have a conference call with his boss. Wasn't that fun?

The dining hall was huge, made to fit all of Wammys residence. It was set up in a buffet style, which Matt thought was probably best despite all the children there were. Wammys didn't seem the type to have cafeteria style food lines, and individual orders wouldn't work. So that left buffet style.

Or so it seemed at any rate.

He picked up a plate and piled on whatever he could, or rather whatever he could actually name, before he took a seat off by himself. He wasn't there to make friends or anything weird like that. He had a mission to complete, and the less people he came in contact with, the better.

Hardly two minutes later a strange white haired boy came to sit with him. The boy was extremely pale, with silver-ish white hair and he wore nothing but white. He also sat very oddly. But despite this, the boy had a very deep and calculating gaze. Matt decided he would have to watch out for that one.

Matt made sure he shrank in on himself and kept his head down, though he could still watch the boy easily from behind his goggles. Matt eventually felt someone glaring at him and turned to see Mello, who watched him with narrowed eyes.

Though it wasn't really_ him _Mello had his attentions on, it was the albino in front of him. He wondered if there was some sort of feud going on between the two. But in the end it was nothing more than a passing thought.

There was no announcement to the end of dinner, everyone just seemed to know when to leave. Matt took his half eaten food and tossed it into the trash on the way out. The past few days had finally caught up with him completely and he was exhausted and he wanted nothing more than to sleep.

Matt crawled into his bed the moment he entered the room. He doubted that Mello would do anything to him during the night, though Matt was a light sleeper so he would wake if something was tried. It had saved him in the past when Light had gotten fed up with him being late and sent people to 'wake' him.

Really, how was getting beaten to a pulp supposed to make him get there on time? That had only occurred in the early days though. Light had finally gotten used to his lateness and planned accordingly.

Right now though, it appeared that Mello would simply study. He was at one of the desks in the room with the lamp on and read what looked like a text book. Matt scrunched his nose up at the thought of studying.

"You know," Mello's voice broke the silence a while later, just as Matt was about to drift off. "Roger came in while you were showering and left your class schedule, and your materials for those classes. It's all on your desk."

Matt withheld a sigh. Mello couldn't have told him earlier instead of when he was sleeping? Or _would_ have been sleeping had he not been woken up...

"They stuck you in the easy classes." Matt could hear the sneer in those words and ignored him in favor of curling up into a ball under the covers. He isn't sure when, but his thoughts began to slip and his mind blanked out as sleep claimed him.

-

Had he not gone to bed early, he probably would have been rather irritated when the knocking started. He was up and out of bed and had the door pulled open before his thoughts were really even in place, before he was even _awake_.

He blinked lazily through his goggles at Roger who stood in the doorway.

"Your things have arrived. You will need to come with me to collect them." Matt nodded and quickly slipped on his shoes and followed Roger from the room, he didn't bother to shut the door all the way.

Matt remembered the way to Roger's office, where he assumed they were going, so he didn't pay too much attention to the route. "Will you be needing any assistance with these?" Roger asked once they had arrived.

Matt took one look at the two big boxes and shook his head. He may appear frail but he could lift those easily. Besides, one was only filled with clothes, it couldn't be _that_ heavy..

"Oh, and Matt." Matt turned on the way out, boxes balanced in his arms. "After breakfast, classes start. Inside the top box I left a map for you to follow until you are more familiar with the place. I forgot to leave it last night." he nodded again to the older man and left quickly, eager to get to his things.

Mello wasn't in his bed when Matt returned, and the sound of the shower told him exactly where the blonde was. He probably didn't have much time before Mello came back out, but for that small moment at least, he was afforded some peace.

As he glanced at the clock Matt noted that he had gotten around nine hours of sleep. It was a good thing he now had things to occupy his mind with. After a sleep that long he'd be up for quite a while provided he wasn't tired out somehow. Though he supposed he would have to plan around his class schedule.

Which sucked since he'd gotten out of going to school a long time ago.

Matt opened the first box and pocketed the map, he would look it over later, probably right before classes. He would only need to study it once before it would be in his memory. He quickly took his clothes out of the box and stared happily at everything. He wondered if he would be able to take some of the stuff with him when he left. It was much better quality than the things he normally had.

Mainly because everything went to buy games or cigarettes.

He left out a black and red striped shirt and a new pair of jeans and boxers before he putt everything else away. After he decided that Mello would probably be in there for at least another five minutes, he dressed and threw the other clothes into his backpack.

The second box held his laptop, goggles, as well as a black PSP with around seven games for it. They were all a mix so he was happy enough with the games. He was even happier with the new goggles. He tossed the torn ones into the trash bin and slipped the new ones on just as Mello exited the bathroom.

Mello eyed his new things with sharp eyes and Matt made sure to at least have his PSP on him at all times. Though Matt was supposed to stick to his 'default' expression, he couldn't help the quirk of his lips as he eyed the few cartons of cigarettes that lay underneath the laptop.

He wondered how Wammy had gotten Roger to agree with him on that one. Wammy had seen him smoke before they left so he probably knew it wouldn't be a good idea to just make him quit cold turkey.

There was a note attached to one of the cartons that said he was required to smoke outside, and that they would be taken away if he didn't comply. Going outside was fine so long as he could smoke. Really, this place was better than HQ so far. Well... maybe not.

Mello had made a sound of disgust as the cigarettes were lifted into view.

Matt quickly added that to the top drawer of the dresser, where the ones he'd brought were, and stuffed a pack into his pocket before he closed the draw.

Mello left the room after that, and Matt could hear voices from outside the door. That meant it was probably time for breakfast. He took out the last item from the box, something he hadn't asked for, though after he saw all the books on his desk he knew it was something he needed.

A small black book bag.

Matt knew that his laptop probably wouldn't fit in with all the books so he would have to leave it. For today at least. Once he found out what classes would be more lenient to him not paying attention, if any.

He figured he'd have time to go back to the room before classes actually started, and the fact that Mello's book bag was still propped up by his desk said so as well.

The hallway was no less crowded than the night before, and just as many eyes were on him. He shrugged them all off and made sure to ignore any questions aimed at him.

No, he didn't want to talk.

No, he wasn't going to suddenly get a desire to.

Well, that was partly true. He didn't mind talking occasionally, so long as he could make the other person look like an idiot or piss them off. Like Takada. She was fun to piss off. Generally though, no one interested him enough or was intelligent enough for what might pass as normal conversation.

Matt entered the dining hall and decided to be daring. So he chose something he was unfamiliar with and sat down to eat it; he hoped it wouldn't taste nasty. Surprisingly, considering his luck sometimes, it was rather good.

Though he still held no clue as to what it was. Probably something he should know, but considering he usually lived off of microwavable foods…

The strange white haired boy sat with him again and the boy's eyes didn't leave him unless he glanced down to eat. It was... odd, to say the least.

"Near." Matt looked up to see as Mello practically snarled at the albino across from him.

"Mello." the albino, whose name Matt supposed was Near, didn't look up and instead moved his fingers to play with a piece of white hair.

Mello looked only seconds from snapping but before anything could happen everyone got up, which signaled the end of breakfast. "Mello should get to class before he falls further behind." 'Near' commented quietly as he got up and walked off which left Matt at the table with an angry Mello.

Mello took out his chocolate and tore into it before he stomped off. Well, Matt thought, at least the anger hadn't been directed at him yet. _Yet _being the key word.

Matt found that he had been correct in assuming there was time to collect his things before classes began. Not a lot of time, but enough. He glanced at the schedule and shoved all the required books into the book bag after he made sure he had his PSP on him, and left the room.

He quickly scanned the map that Roger had given him before he tossed it into the trash.

His first class was... really boring. Mello hadn't been kidding when he'd said he was in the easy classes. Matt could do that math in his sleep. He kept his head slightly lowered and began to play the PSP under the desk.

On mute, of course.

He paused his game when everyone began to leave, and headed to his next class. It was literature, and no less boring. He'd read all those books years ago when his laptop had crashed due to a power surge at HQ, which had incidentally killed all of his game consoles that had been plugged in at the time.

He had_ not_ been happy.

He doubted he could bring his laptop to any of the classes, just after being in the first two. The teachers were strict. Not insanely so, but enough where they wouldn't tolerate inattentiveness.

That he was already exhibiting.

"Matt, what is the answer to the previous question?" Matt had heard the question but really didn't feel the need to speak up, so he shrugged a shoulder and the teacher sighed heavily.

"Pay attention. This is the only warning you will receive." he ignored the woman and went back to his game.

Wouldn't it boggle her mind when he aced the tests despite having slacked off?

Matt liked to mess with people. But really, it was their own fault for not looking more closely at him just because he appeared to be a slacker.

Well he _was_, but that wasn't the point.

He went through three more classes like that, none of them stimulating him in the least, as well as lunch. Matt considered going to Roger to ask for harder classes, but figured the man wouldn't believe him until there was proof.

Like him scoring well in the rankings at the end of the week.

Matt guessed that he had a few hours before dinner so he could probably finish the game in that time. Then he should probably work on the laptop...

But more importantly, he needed a cigarette.

It wasn't hard to find the main doors to the orphanage, nor was there any opposition to him just walking out. Matt quickly took out the necessary items and he sighed as the smell of smoke swirled around him.

No, he decided, this place was worse than HQ. Because at least at HQ he could smoke as much as he wanted, where he wanted. Here, he would have to work out when he actually had time. He took his time outside, smoking two more, before he finally ventured back inside.

Matt felt calmer now and knew that it was only the work of the nicotine in his system. Funny how he didn't even notice how tense he'd gotten until he was able to smoke. Funny in a not so funny way....

Upon entering his room, or rather their room, Matt sighed.

On his side of the room all of the blankets and sheets were on the ground, having been pulled from the bed, and his new clothes strewn across the floor. He sighed again. What was Mello, five?

He quietly picked up his things and flopped onto his newly made bed. He retrieved the PSP from his pocket and unpaused it. He had just gotten to one of the last boss battles when Mello arrived.

He watched Mello's expression darken slightly at his lack of reaction. Honestly what was he supposed to do? Cry over tossed clothing? Throw a fit? Matt went back to the game and ignored Mello, who had probably taken to studying again as it seemed like it was all he did.

Only a few minutes later something hard flew into the side of Matt's face subsequently causing him to drop the PSP; thankfully only onto the bed. Matt glanced at the object. It was a book.

Mello had _thrown_ a _book_ at him.

That book had fucking _hurt_.

Mello smirked when he looked up. "I was just making sure you were alive, you don't make any noise." Matt narrowed his eyes but didn't comment, instead he kept his expression blank.

Mello set down his bar of chocolate, Matt watched his movements warily, and strode across the room. He gently picked up the fallen book, having to lean over Matt to do so, and started back to his side of the room. But not before he yelled to Matt over his shoulder.

"I dislike having a roommate, so you're better off changing rooms or it won't be a book that hits you next time." Matt wondered if he is supposed to feel threatened by that. Matt felt threatened when Light so much as grinned at him, this boy had nothing on his boss.

Matt had the sudden desire to know what rank his roommate was. Perhaps it would explain why the blonde acted as though everyone was beneath him, not _worth_ his time. But that would have to wait until either his laptop was up, or the rankings at the end of the week. Matt wasn't so curious that he couldn't wait.

Matt had just finished the final boss of his current game when he noticed Mello leave the room. How long had he been playing if it were already dinner time? Not that he really cared all that much. He lived off of games.

Fantasy was always so much better than reality, at least in his opinion. Why have one life when you can have many?

Matt walked down the hallway, PSP in hand, and managed to get to the dining hall without having looked up once. Getting food was another matter and required him to actually pay attention. Matt wasn't quite sure what to make of the scene at his now 'usual' table.

Near sat in the same spot as he had been for the last three meals, only now he was joined by Mello who glared at him from across the table. Matt had to wonder if going to a different table would make a difference.

As Near's dark eyes locked on his form he decided that, no, moving would not matter. He would just be followed. For what reason he couldn't even begin to fathom.

So instead of worrying about it, he sat down with his stalker and his pissy roommate. At least this made his stay even more interesting. Though he supposed that it may veer away from interesting if the sheep like boy started to actually _follow _him everywhere.

Matt sat further down at the table, as far as he could go actually, and despite the two sets of eyes now on him, managed to eat in relative peace. Matt kept his head low but began to watch the other children.

One of his skills was observation, as so many people ignored him and dismissed him simply because of his looks that it made it easy to watch them. Get familiar with them, and draw conclusions simply by their unconscious actions.

He supposed that was one of the reasons Light had sent him and not one of the other agents. Though Matt wasn't actually certain if there was another agent around his age. He was once the youngest in the group but didn't know if that still applied.

And when everyone else began to get up, he did as well. He felt Mello's glare at him, this time he was certain that it was at him rather than Near. Mello would obviously do something else to him once he realized that he had no intention of changing rooms, the question was what.

Matt would, if he had to, break character if a fight was involved. He wasn't going to let the blonde walk all over him simply because he felt he should be able to. Though he would assess the situation before he actually made a move.

He headed back outside rather than to their room, after a good meal he preferred to smoke. Actually, he just preferred to smoke. The night air was cool, rather chilly, and held a damp smell.

He _had_ read that Winchester was rather dreary.

He took out the PSP and turned on the volume now that he was alone, and didn't turn it off even once he was back inside. The game looked like it would have interesting music and rather loud sound effects.

Matt felt rather satisfied when the third irritated sigh floated across the room. "Put that fucking thing on mute, I'm trying to study!" Mello finally snarled. Matt however, merely turned the volume louder.

Mello, only a few minutes later, gathered his things and with a snarl slammed the door on his way out. Matt knew that there would definitely be retaliation for this, but couldn't find it in himself to care at the moment.

Really though, he shouldn't have done it.

Mello still wasn't back by the time Matt realized he needed to go to sleep, not because he was actually tired, but because of the stupid classes. Stupid and insanely _boring_ classes. He switched off the light and lay awake for some time before he actually fell asleep.

It was only when the sun hit his eyes that Matt noticed he had left his goggles to hang from his neck all night. Mid yawn, he checked the clock quickly before he slid from the bed. Mello was still asleep despite Matt not having made even the slightest bit of effort to be silent.

Just when had the blonde gotten back, and why hadn't Matt been woken? The only answer was.... Mello was a ninja.

Matt rolled his eyes and took a quick shower; he changed into a black and white striped shirt, the only real noticeable change in his outfit, and deciding to head outside for a few cigarettes. The only problem, he couldn't _find _his cigarettes.

Even the ones in his dresser were suspiciously missing. He glanced across the room and eyed Mello with a frown. At least it hadn't been his games. He could wait the blonde out until he got bored, right?

Now as he had nothing to do before breakfast, which was more than a half hour away, Matt opted to take his laptop and explore. If he found a nice spot he could sit down and work a little while.

He found a music room, as well as what looked like the common room, though he didn't stay in either of those places. They would become crowded and noisy far too soon. Or at least the common room would.

As he turned another corner Matt was met with two large, thick wooden doors. He pushed them open and found a vast room lined with books. The library. And it was huge, even having a second floor.

And it was quiet.

He headed up to the second floor and found a small area in the middle, set up with plump cushiony chairs and a table, where he could work. Alright, some things were better than HQ, he decided.

He set the laptop on the table and pulled a maroon chair closer, he began. Over an hour later he was still there, having decided to skip breakfast in favor of that, and there was still more work to be done.

Not with the computer, that issue was sorted out. No, now he needed to map out the rest of the school and start to place the cameras and microphone in key areas. Mainly the most traveled areas.

Problem one, he couldn't do that at the moment since he had classes. That was fine though, it wasn't like it would kill him to wait until after classes.

Problem two. He couldn't fucking concentrate. At all. He _needed _a cigarette badly, as his last one had been sometime yesterday, but thanks to Mello he couldn't have one.

He had finally had it, and sadly only after a day or so.

Threaten him, that's fine. Kick him around a few times, alright. Take his games, not really ok but he could live without them for a few days. But don't touch his smokes. It was never a good thing to deprive him of cigarettes...

Sure he could wait a surprisingly long period of time without them, but it was never advisable as, well... he tended to get rather _moody_. He was good at hiding it though, as it was never good to show much weakness at HQ.

Matt had overestimated just how long he could go without smoking this time though. Greatly overestimated... probably because it was a stressful environment.

So, in order to get his smokes back, it was time to play hardball. This, after all, deserved some retaliation. He had noticed where the blonde stashed his chocolate, not really hard since Mello went through so much of it he always dipped into it, and that was only after a day and a half of Matt being at Wammys.

Breakfast would almost be over so he would have to work fast. Matt made his way back to the room and let a rather a rather devious grin slide across his face. That was definitely going to get a reaction from his _lovely_ roommate.

He closed the door, but didn't lock it, and set to work. He stuffed all the chocolate into his backpack and went into the bathroom, because he was sure the blonde wouldn't look there. He could have hidden them in the vents but then he would have had to find a different place for his tech stuff, as well as tip Mello off to the possibility of him hiding things up there later on.

He removed the top three towels, as he doubted this little war would last long enough to go through more of them, and began wrapping the chocolate in the remaining ones. Once he was finished he quickly exited the bathroom, gathered his books and left for class.

His attention was split the entire day, between the wanting for a cigarette, and his own twisted amusement in wanting to find out Mello's reaction. There was however, the possibility that the blonde hadn't gone to his stash yet, so he might even be able to watch.

He knew he had opened a can of worms with the act, but really, if Mello was going to be childish it meant Matt could as well.

Later, as Matt walked into their room, he made a show of going through in his dresser and moved things around in search of _something_. He's could see Mello smirk from his reclined position on his bed.

Mello had been asleep earlier when Matt had actually discovered the missing smokes, so he figured he'd let him have his fun. It _would _be right around the time he'd be smoking....

But that was alright, since Mello was in for a surprise of his own.

Matt allowed a sigh and settled down to play his PSP for a while. There was no sense in trying to do anything for the assignment at the moment; he actually needed to concentrate a little for that. Light could go to hell if he thought Matt would work without his smokes, and at the moment, he might have even _told _him that.

Matt heard the crinkle of plastic and the shuffle of things around the room, right about the spot of Mello's stash, before deathly silence. Matt likened it to the calm before the storm. Or maybe more like the eye of a hurricane.

"Where are they?!" Mello snapped, his tone somewhere between furious and disbelieving. Matt looked up and cocked his head to the side in question, though he knew _exactly _what Mello meant.

"Where is my fucking chocolate?!" Mello stood over him and Matt realized he was in a rather bad spot, so he stood up and found with some amusement, that he was an inch or so taller than the blonde.

Mello raised his fist and held it there as though it might make Matt talk. Matt made himself flinch, supposed abuse victim after all, but stayed silent. Mello then punched him; his goggles dug painfully into his face and he was knocked to the floor.

He was probably going to end up with a ring around that eye, how lovely. Definitely not the way to get you're chocolate back, he thought.

"I expect it to be there by the time I get back." Mello said menacingly and kicked him in the stomach, hard. Matt coughed and glared up at the blonde though his back was to him now. Mello snarled and stormed out of the room. Matt took that time to clear his head and go into the bathroom to gently inspect his eye.

Well, there was definitely a red ring around his left eye, if he was lucky it wouldn't bruise. Though he would definitely have a bruise on his stomach, which was rather tender at the moment.

Matt didn't see Mello again until dinner, which had been rather awkward. And amusing. Very amusing.

Especially when Mello kept going to grab or eat chocolate that he didn't currently have.

Matt figured that it was probably safer for him not to go back to the room until he was actually ready for bed. He really didn't want to actually have to fight back, at least not so soon into his stay.

Thought, wasn't that kind of what he was doing anyway?

Matt was glad that he had the foresight to take his PSP with him when he'd left the room earlier. Otherwise... it would have been a very _long_ wait.

When he finally made it back to the room, far earlier than intended, the lights were out. It seemed that Mello couldn't concentrate without his own addiction. Matt smirked at the thought as he quietly readied himself for bed.

In some ways, they were similar, at least judging by what he's seen. And in others, like studying and general attitude, they were complete opposites.

Matt, though he wasn't sure how, managed to fall asleep despite the constant craving for nicotine.

When he woke early the next morning, his cigarettes sat innocently on his bedside table and he couldn't help but grin.

Matt – 1; Mello – 0.

He made sure to get ready and leave as quickly as he could, after all, Matt had gone longer without his cigarettes than Mello without his chocolate. So the blonde could wait a few more hours.

And since they didn't have classes together Matt was left in peace to play his PSP and completely ignore the world until it was time to go back to their room and switch out his books before lunch.

Though he wasn't sure why he even bothered to bring them as he hadn't so much as opened any of them yet.

Mello walked in a few minutes after Matt did, with a scowl firmly in place. He glared at Matt so forcefully that Matt was sure it could make paint peal. Too bad he wasn't affected by it.

He heard the shuffling noises outside, the signal for lunch, and Matt headed for the door while Mello watched him intently.

"Your chocolate is wrapped up in the towels in the bathroom." and as Matt walked out the door he mused on the fact that those had been his first words to the blonde.

**-End **_**Words**_**-**

**AN**: Sooooooooo how was it, other than long? (*thinks over that statement and giggles* -_-; )

**Special thanks to reviewers**: foreverunloved, Lellozawa aka Arra, Kyler Conroy, lovelyblackheart, BlindAffection, Galaxy The Element Girl, Xx-Tarqui-xX, Zena Silverwing, Killer Teddy 101, snappygirl


	4. Chapter 3: Test

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: Sorry for the wait… I got sidetracked by a new oneshot/songfic I'm working on. 'Dirty Mind' by Halestorm, if you listen to the song you can easily figure out what the fic will be about.

Anyhow… most of the next chapter was actually supposed to be part of this one… but as I hit the end of it, it just didn't fit right. Even now I think this chapter is choppy…..

And I've rewritten parts of it many, _many_times…

**Suggested Listening**: We'll Sleep When We're Dead **by** Blessthefall**; **Ordinary World (Duran Duran cover) **by** RED

**Chapter Three**: _Test _

Despite all the drama of the past few days, things were rather calm and silent for Matt. He couldn't understand it, but he felt like something needed to happen now. That the silence just couldn't stay.

Though silence may have been the better alternative should Mello want to go back to attacking him. His stomach still sported a rather nasty bruise and was achingly tender. Or rather, it hurt like hell at the slightest touch.

As if he hadn't gotten enough of that with Light...

At least where Mello was concerned he'd been provoked into the action, regardless of the fact that the blonde had 'started' it.

Matt looked up from the laptop, mid type, to stare blankly at the wrapper that had just bounced off the side of his head. At least it wasn't a book this time, he thought wryly.

Picking up the wrapper he then stared at Mello, who had a thoughtful expression on his face, as though he was still trying to figure something out. He was silent for a few more moments, chocolate paused idly by his lips, and Matt almost went back to typing.

"You know... you're interesting." he commented finally.

"I suppose having you as a roommate wouldn't be_ too_ bad." Mello had his head cocked to the side and was peering wildly at him from beneath his blonde fringe. For some reason, Matt couldn't help but grin widely. Matt tossed the wrapper back at Mello before continuing to write up his first report to Light.

It wasn't anything major, as there wasn't much of anything to say. It was mainly his observations of the place, the children, and the staff that he'd seen so far. As well as directions. He guessed that was a large find, as the location wasn't previously known, but Matt didn't really think so.

Knowing where the place was didn't bring them any closer to finding out about L.

Matt's eyes drifted, of their own accord, and locked onto Mello who was feverishly studying. What made the blonde so obsessed? Just where was he in the rankings that made him waste all of his time cramming things into his brain?

Matt hated to study, usually because everything was too easy for him. Which was why when his father died, and he joined Kira's underground faction, he was more than happy to skip out of school permanently.

Everything he needed and wanted to learn he had gotten from the internet or his own choice material in a library. Matt shook those thoughts from his head, as they were distracting, and continued on to describe the layout of Wammys. Or what he had seen of it so far.

He didn't know for how long he had been working, only that even with his goggles his eyes were tired. He shut the laptop off, after saving the report, and turning out the light on his side of the room, he let sleep claim him.

He woke to the sound of yawning and the flipping of pages. Opening his sleep tired eyes, he spied Mello in the exact same spot as when he'd gone to bed. Mello couldn't have stayed up all night... right?

But Matt wasn't quite awake enough to hold onto that thought and examine it more closely. Instead, Matt grabbed a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom, and eventually out for a quick smoke.

Mello hadn't moved an inch or even acknowledged him despite all the noise he had made. "It's breakfast time, you know." Mello didn't look up but mumbled a soft 'haven't got the time' as he continually scaned pages and pages worth of material.

"Just what the hell is so important that you have to study obsessively for it?" Mello did finally look up at Matt's curious tone. "It's Friday." and at Matt's blank stare he sighed and turned to fully face him.

"Today is the weekly test that determines our rankings. Our class work percentages are so low that they hardly matter, not that I would slack on them, but this test is huge. Everyone takes it, and no matter what classes you are taking it is the same test just specialized for each subject."

Matt nodded slowly, having remembered about the tests but not really paying attention to it since they were unimportant in his view. "So this warrants you pouring over the books for however long you do?" Mello rolled his eyes and went back to studying as his answer.

"Right..." and Matt left it at that, having realized that he'd probably broken character so much in the past 10 hours around Mello that it was pointless to keep it up. At least for the blonde.

Everyone else however...

Matt played his games during breakfast, eating between attacks, and headed off to classes. He didn't bother to bring his things since he doubted he'd need them any more for the tests than he would normal classes.

Matt completed his tests, the first three at any rate, with little enthusiasm as it wasn't really all that challenging. He knew he had gotten a few wrong, and that he could have elaborated a bit more, but he didn't really care.

Studying and tests weren't his thing, games were.

Though Matt did decide to see what score he could possibly receive on the computer/technology test. He doubted anyone there could know more about that than him. He wasn't the smartest person, but he excelled with computers.

Matt was halfway in the process of heading out for a smoke before lunch when he realized he didn't have a lighter on him. With a quiet sigh he doubled back and into his room, or should it be his and Mello's room?

Mello looked like death warmed over, bags under his eyes and pale skin. Matt didn't think that the blonde slept at all the night before, and yet he was _still _studying. Lunch had started a few minutes ago, and yet Mello hadn't even made a move to leave.

That would be two meals missed and little to no sleep. All for those tests. Matt wasn't naive enough to think that Mello was the only one doing that either, and was starting to see some of the effects of the race to be L. What made L so damn special that it made people do that to themselves?

Not that Matt could really say anything as he tended to get obsessed with new games, and lost sleep over it for days on end, but at least he always ate. The grease marks on the controllers attested to that.

Seeing as Mello was lost in his own world, one overflowing with books, Matt left to the dining hall. He chose a sandwich to eat rather than the weird cold pasta like dishes littering the table. As an afterthought he took an apple as well, despite not having any liking for them.

Near was with him again and didn't look concerned, though Matt wasn't sure if the boy _could_ look concerned, or curious as to Mello's whereabouts. Matt, having had enough of the blank stare, left early and found himself back at their room.

He saw Mello yawn widely and rub at his eyes before continuing to speed study. Matt placed the apple on top of the book, startling Mello for a moment. "You won't do well on an empty stomach."

Grabbing an extra pack of his addiction he headed off to his next classroom, though he would be early, Matt just needed to leave the room.

Matt wondered why in the hell he did that for Mello.

And after thinking it over decided that Mello, despite being an asshole his first few days, was more than meets the eye. He was, using Mello's own words, interesting. Besides, Matt had to live with the blonde so he couldn't have him getting sick.

At least that was the answer Matt liked best, the other ones just didn't make much sense and took too much energy to think over.

Matt had to admit, after the next test, that it was slightly harder than he had expected. But not enough to motivate him. He would need it to be some impossible challenge that he had no hope of doing well on before he would actually try.

Kind of like fighting Sephiroth when you had no potions or elixirs to help you out. Impossible and yet thoroughly engaging.

After the final test was completed Matt, almost being bored to tears at the simplicity of it as it had been the computer/technology one, needed a smoke rather badly. He felt drained from a long day of _nothing_.

He could see the worry and anxious tension in many of the faces he passed in the hallways. The rankings meant so much to many of them, pass or fail. Climb or fall. Was Matt the only sane one in the place?

And despite him wanting to enjoy more than one cigarette, it was far too chilly to stay outside. Matt reluctantly decided that it was finally time to stop procrastinating and get to work. Light would only wait so long before he got annoyed.

And for that, he needed his laptop. Or at the very least needed it on hand _in case_ he required it. Assuming he didn't slack off again. Or get distracted…

Matt was suddenly thankful that he was quiet upon entering the room, as Mello was passed out on his bed; exhausted. Matt shook his head. Just how long had the blonde been doing that? Every day? Every week? Going until he literally dropped....

Matt had only done that once, during a hacking job that had taken longer than expected. But never since, and he didn't plan on doing it again. Nothing was worth that cost to him, and he honestly couldn't understand why something was to Mello.

Carefully gathering his laptop under one arm he happened to glance over at Mello's desk and noticed the apple core lying innocently in the trash. Matt wasn't sure why, but he felt a little relieved that Mello had eaten something, even if it was only a tiny apple.

He'd only known him for a week and the blonde was already invading his thoughts.

Matt headed towards the library while he went over what he had so far. A camera and a microphone needed to be placed in Roger's office. After all, if L came to visit he would probably go there along with Wammy. Which in turn would be the perfect opportunity to record what he looked like even if he didn't show his face anywhere else.

Matt's eyes flickered towards the common room as he passed and he hummed softly to himself. Only a microphone in there. He doubted there would be anything worth watching, but perhaps some useful information could be heard.

Reaching the library he walked by it and continued left instead of right, which would have led him to the kitchen. He wouldn't place anything in the library or the kitchen, and probably not even the music room.

Those didn't seem like likely places for anything good. And sadly, that was all he'd come up with so far. He sighed. He wanted those cameras up.... and if he thought about it, _needed _those cameras up.

He figured he could always lie to Light if everything wasn't in place when he contacted him, the only problem with that is Light could usually tell when he was lying. So unless it was an emergency... hell even if there _was_ an emergency, there would be no lying.

To his face at any rate.

Which meant he'd be suffering from boredom until his techs were up and running. Matt took out a cigarette and placed it in his mouth though he didn't light it, just let it sit there. Matt wondered if it was much of an oral fixation now as it was an addiction. It just didn't _feel_ right unless something was between his lips.

Though if he cared to think on that it sounded rather... dirty, when put that way.

Matt stopped suddenly, nearly mid step, and listened. There was no noise, at all, only silence. His eyes take in everything around him and he grinned when he found minor differences. Like the slight coating of dust on the table, not enough to actually be 'dirty', but enough that it meant those parts weren't well traveled.

The slightly lighter shade of the wallpaper....

He wasn't in a normal used part of Wammys. Perhaps L stayed here? Well, he was grasping at straws with that one, but at the very least Matt figured it was another place to monitor. He spied a vent in hallway wall and concluded that if hidden correctly, it would be a good place to put a camera.

And if anything valuable was found, he would add a microphone.

He would have liked to go on further into that area, but something stopped him. Told him not to continue. He always preferred listening to his instincts rather than logic. Because sometimes logic _failed_.

On the way back, though Matt wasn't completely sure he was heading in the right direction, he made sure to memorize every twist and turn so that he could return once everything was ready. He would, if possible, like to get everything set up in one night.

He was only mildly surprised to find that the sky had darkened during his walk. He _had_ gotten lost, so it wasn't odd that night had fallen. Though by a quick glance outside he could tell that it still wasn't dark enough for dinner to have been served yet. Soon, but not quite yet.

By the time Matt actually got back to the room he was certain that dinner would start anytime, if it hadn't already. He wasn't concerned, it wasn't like anyone ever got locked out from being a few minutes late.

The room was dark and Matt could make out Mello's sleeping form from the doorway. With Mello sleeping he would be missing his third meal of the day. Missing the others had been bad enough...

Matt bit his lip and sighed heavily before turning the light on and fully entering the room. He heard a soft groan and saw Mello pulling a pillow over his head. That made the redhead smile.

"Mello, wake up." there was another groan and the bed creaked before everything fell silent once more. Matt eyed an unopened bar of chocolate and tossed it at the blonde. It hit Mello in the back making him jump.

Mello sat up, his hair slightly messy, and blinked rapidly before his eyes settled on Matt with a frown. "Why the hell did you wake me?" even after sleeping for hours he still sounded tired; more tired than the angry voice he'd obviously been aiming for.

"You're going to dinner. You _have _to eat something other than an apple." Mello groaned again and flopped back to his bed and tried to curl up and sleep again; Matt kept his eyes trained on the blonde knowing that despite his tiredness it would irritate him.

And it did.

"Fine!" Mello growled around a large yawn. Matt had a feeling that any other time, Mello would not have given in so easily. Matt set his laptop on the table, and checked the time just to make sure, before heading out.

Mello followed him without another word, as they headed to the dining hall, yawning every few seconds. Matt almost felt bad for waking him, until the blonde's stomach growled painfully.

Mello didn't even look at the food he took and sat across from Near without even making eye contact or frowning, showing just how exhausted he really was. Matt watched, from overtop his own food, as Mello took a few small bites of food. Then, as though finally realizing how starved he was, Mello began to eat as fast as he could manage.

Matt hoped he didn't end up choking...

"Mello, I did not expect you to be here." Near comments quietly. Mello managed to mumble something unintelligible and continued eating. Near slightly tilted his head and pressed a piece of hair between his fingers.

Near then glanced, almost curiously, over at Matt and seemed to feel like elaborating on something for once as he continued. "Mello is never here after testing."

No wonder Mello was so damn skinny, he hardly eats, Matt thought. It most certainly wasn't a healthy thing to do, and it seemed that Mello had made a habit out of it for quite a while.

Mello seemed about ready to fall asleep on his plate so Matt carefully nudged him in the side, which didn't go unnoticed by Near as Matt noted, and Mello shook himself awake. He still had slight bags under his eyes and continually pinched the bridge of his nose.

Mello appeared to have zoned out and only when Near got up did he notice it was time to leave. Matt hoped that a good night's sleep was all he needed to fix things, because frankly, it was sort of worrisome.

Mello was slower in his walking on the way back, eyes blinking every few seconds, and Matt really hoped that he wouldn't have to end up carrying his roommate back. He didn't, and for that he was happy.

Wouldn't _that_ have been a sight?

Matt barely had time to close the door before Mello was unzipping his vest and yanking clothing off in an almost drunken manner. Matt resisted the urge to sigh, because ever since he took in the mission he had been doing entirely too much of it, and turned away.

Something fell to the floor on Mello's side and Matt looked over before he could stop himself and earned himself a nice eyeful of the blonde that left his face heated for long after he'd looked away. It seemed Mello liked to sleep in the nude, or at the very least he had been too tired to change into something else. Which was what Matt had _thought_ he'd been doing.

Apparently not.

Matt wasn't sure why, but he felt rather odd about seeing the Mello naked. But tried not to think too much on it.

Once all sounds of motion had stopped Matt glanced across the room. Mello had fallen back asleep, rather quickly. Taking his boots off, and leaving them beside his bed, Matt carefully crossed the room to turn Mello's light off.

Matt striped down to his boxers and got into bed before grabbing his PSP and shutting his own light off, leaving the room dark and silent with the exception of the soft clicks from his PSP. Matt wasn't sure why, but he felt a pull to the blonde. More so than he had for anyone.

Matt decided that his current train of thought would only lead to a headache and he was determined to concentrate _solely_ on his game. Somewhere between levels fifteen and twenty-seven he fell asleep.

And much to his dismay, the battery was almost dead when he woke.

What a crappy way to wake up, he couldn't help but think.

**-End **_**Test-**_

**AN:** Have you ever been so tired that you can hardly stand? That thoughts pass through your mind before you can even process them properly? I have ^_^. From reading HUGE book, in 18 hours straight with no sleeping. Though I had been up longer than 24, I was TIRED. So I kinda know what I'm talking about…. Most of the time.

I felt like a zombie. Heheh.

**Special thanks to reviewers** (holy cow over 10 reviews last chapter!): cutmeawayMYPENMYHAND, Nothing's Sorrow, HoshiYoshix3, IndifferenceToSociety, NoEcho, snappygirl, Living in a fantasy, Galaxy The Element Girl, RainbowJapan, foreverunloved, Kyler Conroy, Zena Silverwing

Review?


	5. Chapter 4: Third

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: This chapter actually gave me a little trouble.... and yet I feel it flowed better than last chapter... go figure.

As for the past/present tense thing, I so didn't notice I was doing that. Epic fail. But I fixed it. ^-^

**Suggested Listening**: Living in the Sky With Diamonds **by **Cobra Starship**;** Don't Stop **by** Innerpartysystem (there are 2 versions of this, one of them is slower and really sucks and the other is awesome...)

**Chapter 4**: _Third_

Mello exited the shower just as Matt discovered the nearly dead battery on his PSP. Despite having discovered that he would be bored until the battery recharged, Matt's attention immediately turned to his roommate.

Mello looked much better than the previous day; the bags under his eyes having lessoned and his color having returned to normal. It was then that he noticed Mello was already completely dressed and ready to leave by the look of it.

Mello, having noticed Matt's questioning gaze, turned to him with a roll of his eyes. "Rankings." and with that Mello was gone as he shut the door behind him.

Matt couldn't help but think that they placed too much importance upon the rankings.

Matt took his time in getting ready and opted for a quick shower to help properly wake him. He chose to wear a rather odd shirt; or odd by his standards. Dark blue with red stripes. Matt was just happy there was nothing pink in his new wardrobe.

Not that he would have worn it.

He finally felt awake, despite not having had a cigarette yet, he headed to breakfast with the intent to eat quickly and have a smoke afterwards. As he was about to head inside he stopped for a moment when he spotted something on the wall.

It was the rankings sheet.

He shrugged his shoulder he took a quick look and merely blinked when he saw that he had come in third. Mello was second with Near being first. Well wasn't that interesting?

He would definitely have to be careful around them.

However something seemed off to him as he entered the dining hall, and it was only as he seated himself did he notice what it was. Mello wasn't at the table. Matt glanced around until he caught sight of black and yellow.

Or rather leather and Mello.

He sat a few tables over with a scowl firmly fixed on his face and his eyes narrowed and trained directly on Matt. Matt had no idea what had brought that on, but figured he'd find out about it later as it didn't seem Mello's style to keep silent for very long.

Then again, how much did he actually know about the blonde? Not much truth be told.

He also felt Near's eyes on him, though he did not look back at the boy. "Matt will be in our classes now." Matt noted the odd way Near had of speaking, not for the first time, and wondered why he did it.

But Matt supposed that either way, Near was correct. He would, at some point before Monday, have to go and 'speak' with Roger about classes. Wouldn't that be fun?

Right now though, Matt just wanted to eat his food. Without distractions. Also known as: Near and Mello. At least he didn't normally mind Mello. Near was just plain weird. And yeah, he would appreciate it if the strange little albino moved to another table, permanently.

But Matt didn't want to talk to him, not even to ask him to go away. Though Matt figured _he_ could just move to a new table instead. But that wasn't the point. That was his table... and Near would probably just follow him if he moved anyway.

Really... HQ seemed a much nicer place at the moment. And that was just plain sad.

Matt got up before the other children did, having finally gotten used to how long each meal generally was, and left. Whatever Mello was having a fit over, would best be dealt with in their room.

However he was stopped the moment he left the dining hall.

"Matt. Good, I was hoping I wouldn't have to wait. Come with me." Matt did allow a sigh this time because, honestly, could Roger possibly have worse timing? Well... Matt supposed he could have been in his room changing or something.

Matt's face heated up suddenly at the reminder of having seen Mello naked the night before. What was it about Mello that had that affect on him? Was it the leather? The blue eyes or his figure? Really he had begun to wonder what the hell was going on with himself; it wasn't as though he hadn't seen other guys naked before.

Matt furiously pushed all those thoughts to the back of his mind as he entered Roger's office, because he simply did not wish to think anything like that anywhere near Roger. _Ever_.

"I assume that you know that you are ranked third?" Matt nodded. Why waste words when he didn't have to speak? Besides, it seemed to irritate Roger. Maybe he would speak to someone while around Roger and then refuse to talk to him? Matt almost grinned at the thought.

"Due to your high scores, it was decided that your classes would be changed to accommodate your obvious intelligence." the way Roger says this suggested that he still didn't believe Matt actually achieved whatever score he got.

Matt hadn't looked at the score, only his rank.

Roger held out a slip of paper, that Matt assumed was the new schedule, and Matt took it. Though all he actually did with it was shove it in his pocket.

"I'm curious though; if things were too easy for you, why not say something sooner?" Matt just looked at him and shrugged. Roger appeared even more annoyed and let him know, with a swish of his hand, that he could leave.

Matt had absolutely no problem following that instruction.

Mello wasn't in their room when he got there, much to Matt's disappointment, but he couldn't worry about that at the moment. He had reports to finish, and a new one to start. Light would definitely want to know that he placed third.

That meant that he may have a chance at speaking with L, or that L would come there since he had just taken the third spot away. He was now ranked as one of L's successors, and Matt was rather amused by that little dose of irony.

He hadn't been aiming for anything that high, just a score that would get him harder work.

He grabbed his laptop he exited the room. It was cold outside, but he could smoke. And he didn't want to interrupt his work every five minutes because he got a craving.

Matt was suddenly very glad for his goggles as he stepped outside. It was windy and cold, not ideal conditions in the least. He shivered slightly and walked down the main steps until he reached the last one, where he sat down.

The cement was cold, but the ground would have been far colder and would have sucked all the warmth from him.

As he typed the reports, Matt wished that he had taken more time to write up reports before then as he seemed to have forgotten what was and was not acceptable in Light's terms. Though in his opinion it was unfair that he even had to write them in the first place.

"He just likes to make work for me..." Matt grumbled around his cigarette and wished his gloves actually kept his fingers warm.

Despite himself, Matt found that his mind began to wander. He was rather bored, now that he didn't have classes to complain over, or Mello to subtly distract him from work.

He wondered how, after only a week, the blonde had managed to steal away that much of his attention. It was odd. He had never been interested in people in general, as many of them were fake.

Fake smiles, fake stories, fake emotions. _Fake_.

Was that why Mello was so interesting to him, because everything about him was raw, emotional and completely real? The blonde was ruled by his emotions and it seemed that they took control before his mind at times.

Though the last was merely a one time observation on Matt's part.

Matt shook his head slightly to get his thoughts back in order; he had stopped typing and that stuff really needed to get done. He stayed outside, smoked about half a pack of cigarettes, until he was finished.

He flexed his chilled fingers as he gathered everything and stiffly headed inside, where it was much warmer. Almost too warm. Though Matt had a feeling that he was just too cold so the difference in temperature messed with him.

He brought the laptop to lunch with him, despite having no need for it at the moment. He didn't see Mello at lunch or in the room when he returned. That was why he didn't get involved in relationships of _any_ form, too may variables and emotions for him to deal with.

Whatever issue Mello was dealing with was apparently cause for his disappearance.

And Matt didn't want to get in the middle of it. Though he had a feeling he already _was_ in the middle, completely and unwillingly, stuck in the middle. Instead of taking the time to dwell on it, as he found that it never helped things, he took out the now fully charged PSP and loaded a brain teaser game.

It was something interesting to pass the time; he couldn't exactly get his camera work done in the daylight, now could he?

He played until dinner, having attempted to beat all of his new high scores three times over, and slipped the sleek handheld into his pocket. Mello still hadn't returned and if Matt went by the days recent events, wouldn't do so anytime soon, so he headed for the bathroom and carefully removed his things from the air vent.

After he made sure he had everything, he slipped them underneath the mattress and hoped Mello didn't suddenly decide to do a swan dive onto his bed. Or have another fit and tear apart his bed.

Matt couldn't understand why, as he entered the dining hall, Mello was suddenly content with sitting halfway across the room. Halfway across the room as he continually glared at anything that moved, but mainly Matt. Though it _could_ have been Near, unlikely and surprising as that was.

So Matt ignored the brooding blonde. Mello was pissed at him over something and would _probably_ get over it in a few days. Or sooner if it looked like Mello was back to the petty revenge tactics. Because Matt would _not _have his smokes being taken away again.

But nothing happened as Mello pulled his disappearing act once more and didn't reappear until eleven when he promptly turned off his light and went to bed. Matt shut off the PSP and waited until Mello's breathing had slowed to a normal sleeping rate, rather that the forced and faked one it had been earlier.

Carefully, as he still wasn't sure what could wake Mello up, he gathered his techs and shuffled quietly out of the room. He set things up in the common room first, and made sure that there was no way for it to be spotted.

He put it some place high, where there was little to no chance of it being knocked over or found during cleaning. Though there were no fingerprints on it, as he always wore his gloves when handling them, he would be under suspicion if it were found as Wammy and Roger know of his liking to electronics and technology.

He then headed down to Roger's office, where things were a bit more difficult. He wasn't sure what the nighttime rounds were, if there were any, so there was a small chance of him being discovered.

But then again, Matt had always liked a little danger. Maybe he was an adrenaline junkie?

Roger's office was locked, as he suspected it would be. The lock was old and Matt managed to pick it in record time. Really, living with thieves, spies, assassins and con artists had its perks. Matt shut the door behind him but didn't dare turn on the light as it would be a dead giveaway that someone was up to no good.

Especially if Roger were the one to find out, seeing as it was his office.

Matt sat down in Roger's chair and slowly spun around, surveying the room as much as he could in the dark. Where should he put it? If L were in here, and suspected there was a bug, where would he look?

In the obvious places? Or in the more obscure? These were designed by Light so even a detector couldn't find them, so he didn't have to worry about that. But L was the world's greatest detective, that had to count for something.

So where to put it....

That was when he decided it was better to place two of them in there, in case one was found. It wouldn't do to have to replace it should one be found; there would definitely be more security after something like that.

So Matt placed one low, close to the ground but at an angle where it would still capture anyone's face as they entered the room; and one higher up by the bookcase.

Satisfied, he quickly left after he had returned everything to their set positions. He quietly locked the door and took off down the hallway. As Matt passed by the main entrance he decided to set up a camera facing the doors, it couldn't hurt to record every face that entered or exited.

He also decided to place a microphone in the dining hall, though he wasn't sure why he felt the need.

Matt had no way to know just how long he had been out, but he couldn't chance it, so he headed back to his room with the remaining techs. He would have to do the rest tomorrow after he made sure the ones already placed worked properly.

Thankfully Mello was still asleep as he crept back inside, though that wasn't to say he hadn't woken up earlier. It would have been easier if he'd been given a single room with no roommate... but even as he thought it he dismissed it as stupid.

He shook his head at his blonde roommate, who even in sleep, had unknowingly caused problems for him. Matt stifled a yawn, despite it being early compared with his normal hours. He striped his jeans and crawled into bed, having not even wanted to play his PSP.

-

Mello was so quiet in the morning that Matt almost didn't hear him. "Mello?" he yawned, and wanted nothing more to go back to sleep as he saw the time. 7:53am. Far too early on a Sunday to be awake.

The slight noise had stopped and Matt watched, almost with a frown, as Mello ignored him and walked out the door. What was up with him lately? Given his personality, if it was a small infraction, Mello should have been at the yelling and throwing things stage already.

Now it seemed he'd done a one eighty and completely ignored him instead. Matt honestly wasn't sure which one was worse. With a quiet groan he slid out of bed and seeing as Mello wasn't in the room, changed out in the open.

He viewed the time again, as he placed his dirty clothes in the laundry bin, but really wasn't in the mood to eat. He didn't even want a cigarette, and that was a little strange. But Matt didn't question it. He knew that his body would eventually crave one and he would have to go outside into the cold, but for now at least he could stay warm.

He sat at his desk and booted up the laptop. It was time to set everything up. Just because he only had some of his techs set up didn't mean there wasn't still a ton of work to do. He first checked to see that everything was properly transmitting either picture or sound.

As he found nothing wrong he went on to set everything up to his systems so that it would record everything even if he was watching it. He made sure to use the correct settings so that the raw video and audio files would be compressed as far as they could to take up as little space as possible on the laptop.

At least until he could send them to Light during the first transmission. He wasn't sure if Light would be the one he contacted every time or not, but he had said it would be him for the initial test.

By lunch, he still hadn't had a cigarette, and wasn't even the slightest bit hungry or thirsty. In fact, he felt a bit _off_. Had been for the past little while.

Matt stood from the desk and stretched; he sighed contentedly as sore muscles were relieved and his joints cracked. He grabbed the laptop and set it on top of his bed and laid down. He finally pulled up the video feeds and chose the dining hall as the one to listen to.

He retrieved his headphones, one of the only things he'd brought with him, and plugged it into the laptop to listen. He laid his head on a pillow and watched with little interest as nothing particularly interesting happened.

Matt didn't worry about anyone seeing any of this footage should he fall asleep. He had it set so that if he didn't move the curser at least once every seven minutes it exited the program and shut the laptop off.

And even if someone knew about the programs and footage, they would need his passwords in order to view them. And he doubted even L could crack them. But just in case there ever were a breach all the files would delete themselves if opened without the correct passwords.

With such sensitive material he needed those safeguards.

Matt didn't know how long he'd been at it so far, but he started to feel himself slip. His eyelids fluttered closed a few times and he propped himself up onto one elbow in an attempt to stay awake, as he should not be that tired so early in the afternoon.

He ultimately failed as when he finally opened his eyes again his laptop had shut down. According to the clock, whose digital numbers were slightly blurred, he'd slept for just over an hour. As his mind slowly got to a more awakened state he realized that he was cold, shivering even.

His neck was sore and every muscle felt stiff. The very act of sitting up left him feeling dizzy and tired. Matt couldn't help but think that this was punishment for working outside the day before... with no jacket.

Despite all this he forced himself from the bed and into the bathroom; he hoped that a hot shower would make him feel better. He really couldn't afford to get sick, Light would _not_ be happy.

Not in the least, as it would have been his own fault. Lovely.

Matt set the temperature as hot as he could handle and merely stood under the spray, not daring to move or think for the moment. It seemed to make him feel the slightest bit better, at least until he had to turn the water _off_.

Then, as if to spite him for his feeble attempt, his head began to throb. He toweled dry and dressed quickly, the chills having returned as the water dried and cooled on his body. He felt worse than when he had gone in and as Matt stepped out from the bathroom he paused for a moment as he spotted Mello; who currently sat at his own desk, text book open, as he munched on chocolate.

Matt doubted that even if he attempted to talk to him he would get a response, Mello would simply ignore him. Despite having taken a break earlier, as much as watching video feeds, falling asleep and waking up a wreck was a break; Matt still had things left to do.

Matt went back to his laptop, placed the ear buds back in, and opened the surveillance program. It was time to set key words for his program to lock onto. He should have done it earlier but it seemed to have slipped his mind; not surprising seeing as he had been out of sorts all day.

The key words, once spoken by anyone being recorded, would then have flags left by the dates and times in which those topics, or something like it was discussed.

He couldn't watch the feeds twenty-four seven so it was the best way to go over things.

As he worked, his headache began to distract him, far worse than having no cigarettes ever could. He closed his eyes in irritation as he pressed the heal of his palm to his forehead. It looked as though he would have to wait until tomorrow or possibly even Tuesday to place the other cameras.

He wouldn't have a screw up just because he got sick. Besides the fact that this was one thing he could not afford to screw up, at all. If he did, and L became aware of the fact that someone was watching him _very_ intently, Matt may as well just shoot himself compared to what Light would have waiting for him.

Matt tried to do more work, but everything became blurry and only made his head hurt worse.

The clock on his computer told him that it was only five minutes until dinner, and though he really didn't want to go, he knew he had to. He needed something in his system, though at that point he wasn't sure what would happen if he chose to eat.

It would be rather embarrassing for him to be eating and then suddenly puking all over the floor. He would have to see if they had something light and very non-greasy to eat. His lip curled into a grimace at the thought of food.

It would be a 'fun' dinner. On the plus side, he would probably be concentrating too much on himself to pay much attention to the rather awkward atmosphere that hung around him. As in Near and Mello.

He still couldn't figure out why Near had chosen to bother with him. From what he had seen from the surveillance already, Near didn't talk to anyone and just played with toys and puzzles unless he was otherwise forced to do something else.

He shut the laptop down and got off the bed just as Mello got up but didn't pay him any mind and headed out the door. He felt about a hundred rather than just his sixteen years. He had better be feeling better by tomorrow...

Most of the food he eyed made his stomach churn at the thought of even putting it on his plate, though he did find stuffed bread and some salad to eat. He wasn't even sure if he could finish all that.

Matt tried to appear normal throughout dinner, though the fact that he kept shuddering with every large chill kind of killed the act. But Matt hardly noticed, too absorbed in his own thoughts to really care.

He finished as much as he could, which really wasn't much, and almost lazily took his leave. It was odd for anyone to leave dinner early, not disallowed, just odd. So for him to walk out early was noticed; he felt the eyes on him the entire way out the door.

Once in the hallway he leaned heavily against the wall and rubbed the bridge of his nose for a moment, trying to ease the pressure. Somehow, because even he wasn't sure how, he got himself back into their room and into his own bed.

He didn't bother doing much more than yank his boots off and toss his jeans into a corner. He was so incredibly tired and felt as though he had been run over by something, and yet even after he turned his lights off he couldn't seem to sleep.

He groaned softly into his pillow but only managed to irritate his pounding headache. "Damn." at least at HQ he could down half a bottle of medicine and sleep his sickness away. Here, he would have to haul himself to the infirmary; or have Mello help.

Both were equally as unlikely to occur.

So it seemed, despite his earlier fatigue, he was in for a sleepless night. Filled with shivering, aching and the general feeling of awfulness.

Great.

**-End **_**Third**_**-**

**AN: **I have just added up the total words I have written for this so far, and DAMN! I'll just say it's a lot, more than any of my fics so far. (and its not even halfway through… T^T)

**Special thanks to reviewers: **MysticalTears, Living in a fantasy, cutmeawayMYPENMYHAND, Scary Vampiress, Enjy, Zena Silverwing, RainbowJapan, lovelyblackheart, InnerShadow, kaitouahiru, snappygirl, Kyler Conroy, HoshiYoshix3, foreverunloved, merichuel, Moonphase9, zchocolatebunniesrulezworld


	6. Chapter 5: Contact

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note..

**AN**: Happy turkey day! (this was supposed to be out yesterday but I got sidetracked writing other chapters of this… not much of an excuse, I know.) and even after rewriting part of this im not happy with it… *sigh*

**Suggested Listening**: Monster **by **Skillet (because I can picture Matt listening to this at a certain point here....)

**Chapter 5**: _Contact_

Matt 'woke' up to a splitting headache and chills. He couldn't remember when he fell asleep, but he knew it hadn't been all that long ago. He squinted, making an attempt to read the clock, but closed his eyes with a quiet groan. He would have chosen the shivering and chills over the headache....

Headaches… headaches made his thoughts foggy. Like trying to wade through quicksand or molasses.

He lay there, quietly on his bed, not really feeling up to _getting_ up. He turned to his side and burrowed deeper under the covers. He really did not want to get up, at all.

But as Matt saw it, he only had two options.

One, lay there awake feeling like he had been steamrolled, with little hope of falling back asleep. Or two, he could go to class and hope the new teachers were just as boring so he could sleep, or engaging enough where he was distracted from feeling like crap.

After he heard Mello grab his things and leave, he chose option number two; the silence would have driven him crazy.

He was sluggish as he dressed himself; hardly able to keep his eyes open. When finished, however many minutes later, he fished around his old jeans for the class schedule. He found it, memorized it, and tossed it into the trash bin. He stuffed his laptop into the book bag and slowly headed to class; he had managed to sleep late enough to miss breakfast but not be late to class, much to his disappointment.

He had to have pissed off some god or other to get that kind of luck.

His new literature teacher merely nodded in his direction and pointed to a lone desk in the back. Matt automatically liked that teacher. What he didn't like was the class, or the blonde who glared at him the entire class, or the albino who watched him from time to time.

Matt had, naturally, forgotten that harder classes meant he would be placed with Mello and Near. Perhaps he _should_ have just stayed in bed; he honestly didn't feel he had enough energy to deal with them at the moment.

He really had no idea what went on in any of his classes, as he was caught between a state of hazy wakefulness and half asleep. Though he was able to pay enough attention to get his assignments, some of which were due the next day, others at the end of the week.

Other than that, Matt had no idea _what _went on. He hated being so scatter brained and when he was sick that was all he ever seemed to be. He was just glad he'd been able to make it through the day and back to his room with no incidents.

Other than when he fell asleep and was yelled at by a rather irritated teacher.

Though as he walked out of the bathroom, he did realize that it meant he probably shouldn't try and place any other techs until he was better. Witch meant that he would have to wait until the next night, or if he still wasn't better, the day after.

Matt also knew that Light needed to be contacted soon. He had been given a few predetermined days in which to contact him, as even Light knew that he may be busy. Regardless of everything being ready or not, he had to contact him.

He stumbled slightly and had to use the wall to support himself, but Mello didn't so much as glance at him as he walked out of the room, arms piled high with text books. Matt sighed heavily.

Since Mello seemed to like to disappear and ignore him, which with him being sick really got on his nerves, Matt decided that as soon as a secure link was set up he would call his boss.

Which sadly didn't take as long as Matt had hoped. Because he really wasn't looking foreword to this. He put his headphones on and adjusted the wireless microphone by his mouth. Everything ready, he pushed 'call' as the message popped up on screen.

He could hear the ringing in his ears and found it rather irritated him, and just when he was about to turn the volume off, the call connected and Light's face appeared.

"Ah, Matt. I was wondering when you were going to call." Matt rolled his eyes, as he knew Light couldn't see them. There had only been three designated days for him to call, so he doubted Light had really _wondered_ about anything, especially as Light had set those days up himself.

Matt, out of habit, placed a cigarette in-between his lips though he knew he couldn't smoke it inside.

"You look a little pale." Light commented as an afterthought; a gentle smile tugged at his lips. Matt wasn't fooled though. He never would be by Light. Those blind fan girls like Amane and Takada, and even Mikami would only see the image Light projected and never the manipulative and cruel person he actually was.

"Yeah, I'm a little… unwell at the moment." Matt stated; though he tried to word things in a careful manor. He watched as Light's eyes darkened and got a rather dangerous gleam to them. Well now, wasn't that lovely?

"I have already placed most of the camera's, finished the reports as well as begun recording. Everything was done before I began to feel unwell, so everything is in _perfect _working order." he stressed the word 'perfect' because that's what Light liked.

Perfect. Everything had to be perfectly perfect. Like his own appearance, his fake smiles and the important missions. Anything that was not perfect, or did not go perfectly, had rather harsh consequences. Matt supposed it may have had to do with his bosses OCD tendencies.

Though he wasn't sure if anyone else noticed them, Matt was the observer after all.

He already knew that Light would want the files sent to him, so he created a package and put the required things inside before he clicked on _transfer_.

Light seemed only partly pacified. "I want everything sent to me right now. Video, audio, everything you have. Including those reports you mentioned." Matt, despite himself, smirked.

"When the computer prompts you, click 'complete transfer'. It should appear anytime now." Light looked off screen and his expression slightly turned into something Matt would call irritated. He must not have had a good day.

"Fine, I have everything. Now, onto the business of your next call." Matt nearly groaned. He could tell by the way Light's smile returned that he wouldn't like what would be said.

"Someone else, possibly Kiyomi, will be here when you call. I will be away on business otherwise I would have done it myself." and Matt was certain that he was at least being told the truth about that. When it came to the business of L, Light would prefer to be the one to handle things rather than leave it to others, even if it were his 'trusted' few.

Matt hated the idea of possibly having to deal with Takada, though without Light around he was free to piss her off. The only bonus of that situation.

"The days for calling will remain the same until I personally state otherwise." Matt gave a small shrug in response.

"Before I go is there anything important I should know about?" Light looked almost impatient now, as though he were in the middle of something and didn't like being disturbed despite the nature of the call. Matt wasn't sure if anything was_ really_ important, at least by Light's standards, but decided to at least tell him about his most recent rank.

"Well, nothing much I suppose. I did place third here and apparently that now makes me one of L's successors. But other than that, no." he watched as Light's eyes widened and a decidedly creepy grin spread across his face. The kind that over exaggerated and evil sounding laughter was usually accompanied with.

"Really? That is indeed important. I suggest you_keep_ that rank." the way Light said that made Matt shiver, and not because he was sick. His boss really could be creepy...

Light looked lost in thought for a moment before he uttered a curt 'goodbye' and ended the call. Well, at least he wasn't in trouble for anything. _Yet_.

Matt yawned widely and removed his goggles to rub at his eyes. They were itchy and watery, tired from his long night of tossing and turning and general sleeplessness. And he had begun to feel edgy, the effect of nicotine withdrawal.

Which was actually a good thing, because with the unlit one in his mouth he finally had a craving for one. Which he hadn't wanted since yesterday afternoon. He hoped that meant he would be feeling at least a little better tomorrow than he was at the moment.

Matt left the room with the cigarette still perched between his lips, and a lighter in his hand. He was instantly cold as he stepped outside and made haste in lighting his addiction. He really should ask about getting a jacket.

But then he would have to take the time to find Roger...

It wasn't always cold there; it was just his luck that this assignment had to take place in the fall. Where it was windy, rainy and cold. And where soon, there would be snow to add to that list.

Matt wondered if he'd see Wammy around the place anytime soon or not, but decided that even if he did he wouldn't just walk up to him and ask about a jacket. Wammy had better things to do, and so did Matt for that matter.

He finished the cigarette as quickly as he could, because he was freezing, and he almost slammed into the door as he attempted to get inside. He hated being sick, it made his reactions differ from his norm.

This time he didn't even need a clock to tell him that it was dinner, as all the children were suddenly flooding the hallways. Matt hadn't thought it was that late and wondered just how long he'd been on the phone with Light for.

His stomach felt funny, but not unpleasantly so. It was the kind of feeling where you know you are hungry, but weren't really hungry enough to want to eat much. The kind where you would usually skip the main meal in favor of something small.

He withheld a sigh and headed for the dining hall. Matt began to think that perhaps he needed to procure snacks that he could hide in his dresser so that when he didn't feel much like eating, like right now, he could munch on those.

But for the moment he didn't have anything even close to that, and he also knew that if he didn't eat something soon he'd probably be hungry at two AM. And that would not be cool.

Matt chose some sort of chicken and seated himself; he would attempt to eat what he could, quickly, and leave.

Mainly because he was irritated by Mello's persistent glare. How many days had it been now? Matt lifted his head and stared right back at the blonde, who was still seated across the room. He kept his expression blank and after a few minutes Mello actually began to fidget ever so slightly.

The only reason Matt broke the impromptu staring contest was because dinner had come to a close. He hadn't even intended to stay through the entire thing again, and yet he had. Mello really messed with his head. And Matt had really had enough of all of that.

He had given the blonde more than enough time to get over whatever he was having a problem with. And now he was just sick of it. It took a lot to irritate him, and something like this wouldn't usually, but there was just something about the blonde...

And he tended to get really irritable when sick. Then again, who didn't?

Matt hadn't paid much attention to his surroundings and almost passed by his room. Because Mello would actually have to _be_ there for any length of time for it to be called 'theirs'.

He knew he was still sick, and felt tired from doing absolutely nothing all day, so Matt lay down and curled himself up under the blankets. The only problem was that Mello was still on his mind, it had started to get ridiculous.

Did he really want Mello to be his friend that much? So much that he took over the majority of his thoughts?

Though if he thought about it that way it made him sound slightly obsessed, at least in his own opinion.

He pulled his goggles free and tossed them onto the desk and snorted in amusement. Matt had never been good with people, not in the normal sense. He was good at annoying them, pissing them off and generally making a nuisance of himself. And of course lying and can't forget manipulating. It all came with the job.

But when it came to actually _dealing_ with _people_. He was _absolute_ shit at it. Matt then sneezed and with a sigh he pulled the covers over his head. He just wanted all this complicated stuff to be over with so that he could finish his mission and leave.

He closed his eyes to the darkness of the room, and for once since he'd gotten sick, got his way and drifted off.

He had been having some dream about falling mushrooms and plumbers with red hats when a loud crash and a muffled curse woke him. His heart pounded in his chest and his hand reached for the gun he hadn't been allowed to bring.

He poked his head out from under the blankets and spotted a flash of yellow. He looked, blurry eyed, at the numbers on the clock and wondered if Mello had been studying the entire time; as it was now around three in the morning.

Matt didn't get more than two or three more coherent thoughts before he was back asleep, something his body still needed more of.

He didn't dream any more that night, at least none that he could remember, and in the morning he could hear the soft crinkle of a wrapper.

He sat up, stretched and took a long breath as he reached for his goggles. Surprisingly, he felt better. Still tired, and after that much sleep he really shouldn't be, but much better.

Matt glanced across the room, as he grabbed for his PSP, he noticed Mello at his desk with a hand propping his head up. His other held a bar of chocolate and would every once and a while would flip a page of the book. Matt doubted that it was anything other than a text book.

Matt knew that Mello had gone to bed the night before, as the light had gone back off before he had fallen back asleep. But it looked as though Mello had been up for hours rather than a short time. That would have left the blonde with only a handful, or less, hours of sleep.

With the small handheld turned on he idly played the brain teaser game while he silently regarded his roommate. It looked as though he was going to continue and ignore him, for how long only Mello knew, and Matt really had enough of it.

"Hey Mello, What's with all of your PMS? You were fine a few days ago." Matt spoke loudly and calmly. He felt the atmosphere in the room change, though he wasn't really worried.

"Like you don't fucking know."

Matt rolled his eyes. "I'm not a mind reader, so no, I honestly have no idea what problem has wrapped itself around your brain making you act like a child throwing a tantrum." he was being purposely antagonistic, he couldn't help it though.

"You placed third on your first week of testing! You didn't even study, and that means you are a threat to me in my goal of becoming L. That's the fucking problem." Mello snarled. Matt blinked a few times from behind his goggle covered eyes.

"Just let me finish this level." He muttered softly. Though his fingers moved and hit the buttons of the handheld, his mind wasn't even close to being on the game.

Matt knew that this may be a good opportunity to stop whatever was happening between them. He didn't come there to make friends and despite that it seemed that he was, or rather had been.

All he had to do was sever those ties with the blonde and get back to the mission. All he had to do was tell the blonde that he wasn't smart enough to become L, and that he, Matt, would take second or even first. It was what he _should _do.

But why was it so much harder to actually say it? He stared at the 'game over' screen and glanced up. Why were things so complicated where Mello was concerned?

"That's it? My being third has you pissed off, that's rather stupid." Mello got a rather pissed off expression and had Matt not planned on continuing he would have hurried to do so.

"I have no desire to be L, never have. It takes too much effort." Matt lifted his game slightly, and peered up at the blonde from behind his tinted goggles.

Mello scrutinized him for a few minutes before he finally bit off a piece of chocolate. He didn't speak to Matt, but nor did he look away. He didn't appear angry, but rather contemplative.

Matt took that as an improvement and despite actually wanting to stay like that for a while longer, knew he needed to get ready for class.

He dragged his eyes away and forced himself out of bed. He stretched again and grabbed randomly at his new clothes and headed into the bathroom. He ended up with a blue and green striped shirt, really what was with some of those combinations?

He was more than thankful his jeans were all the same color...

He finished quickly and when he stepped back in the room Mello was still seated just as he'd left him. Matt shook his head and shoved his laptop into the book bag as he tossed the strap over his shoulder.

"Mello, you're going to be late to class if you keep this up." Mello jerked his head up in surprise as he cursed and stumbled from the chair. Matt watched in amusement as the blonde scrambled to shove all off his books into the bag before he rushed to class.

Matt wasn't sure why, but he felt accomplished for having taken over Mello's thoughts. He decided not to dwell too much on that and headed off to class along with Mello who had practically raced from the room. Matt was in no such hurry and didn't particularly care if he was late or not.

Matt also found it rather odd that all his classes now seemed calmer. Before there had been some edginess to them; he supposed that he hadn't really noticed it so much until it was gone.

But the other students and even the teachers seemed less stressed. Matt had no idea why, but he wasn't about to complain, it meant the teachers weren't paying as close attention and it was easier for him to play his games... and generally tune out everything.

Matt didn't see Mello at lunch, as Mello hadn't even been in the room, and Matt wasn't sure what to make of it. He had thought that everything had been settled that morning, but perhaps he had missed something?

But Matt was quick to dismiss that thought. He hadn't missed anything... Mello was probably just studying.

That reminded Matt that he really needed to do his own work. Not that it consisted of anything other than gathering data and daily reports. Joy. He could only watch the surveillance by himself, or at least in their room where he could insure no one else was watching him.

Unless he could somehow get it onto his PSP...

He spent the rest of the day, or rather classes, trying to figure out if it was possible to do such a thing. The only way he could figure out to do that would be to have the surveillance linked to the internet where he could then access it from the PSP which had internet access.

He would have to make sure it was absolutely secure. Matt wasn't sure he wanted to put forth the effort into it. It wasn't like Light would know the difference...

Matt took one step outside into the rain, for his cigarette, before he turned right back inside. There was no way in hell he was going to stand in that, not even for nicotine.

His shoulders slumped, as he trudged back to their room, rather unhappy that he couldn't smoke.

Mello wasn't there when Matt did finally get back, after having taken a _quick_ detour, so Matt took out the laptop and started to go over the feeds he'd missed during the day. Only about a dozen entries were flagged, so those were the only ones he had to worry about.

Mello still wasn't back by the time Matt left for dinner, though Matt did notice that all of Mello's study things were gone as well so it wasn't hard to imagine that the blonde had lost track of time while pouring over those books.

Near was already at the table, as Matt seated himself, with no thought stealing blonde in sight.

So Matt resigned himself to another silent and awkward meal with Near until he heard familiar boots hesitantly walking over. He knew that it was Mello, and hoped that he wouldn't just walk away to the other table.

Mello stood there, for another moment, before he took a seat next to Matt and before he could stop himself, had begun to grin.

There was no talking, but Matt didn't miss things like that so much. He was sure everything would be back to normal soon. Mello just liked to take his time getting there.

Matt thought that it made Mello all the more interesting.

**-End _Contact_-**

**AN:** This was also supposed to be part of chapter 4, but it would have just been waaaaaay too long had I kept it. And it makes things a bitch to edit if they get too long. Because then I get tired of editing and sort of skim it and miss lots more errors. Yeah......

And wow, 16 reviews last chapter, thats a record for me. Just wow. *gives cookies*

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Sweetheart5793, Killer Teddy 101, foreverunloved, InnerShadow, MissyRainbow, Xx-Tarqui-xX, IndifferenceToSociety, HoshiYoshix3, RainbowJapan, Galaxy The Element Girl, Amaya-Ai, Enjy, MysticalTears, snappygirl, Living in a fantasy, Zena Silverwing

Review?


	7. Chapter 6: Proposition

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note, okay!?

**AN:** I fail at updating on time… again, this was supposed to be out yesterday… (I'll try to have the next chapter up Friday, since I'm going to be wiped out Saturday so I won't want to update.)

WOW, this is getting long and I haven't even gotten to much plot yet. Mello just keeps stealing it away..... but I need to get their friendship going before plot rears its ugly head.... because I do have a plot...

**Suggested Listening**: Vyperpunk (Deathstars Remix) **by** Dope Stars Inc; Braindamage **by** Dope Stars Inc

**Chapter Six**:_ Proposition_

Matt couldn't help the small yawn that escaped as he headed back to their room. It had been a rather long day, starting with his long night beforehand.

He had finally gotten the last few techs set up, including the one in the unused hallway. The problem was he hadn't been able to fall asleep afterwards. And because of it he'd been tired all day. What made it worse were the few teachers that had decided to add in last minute projects and papers before that weeks main test.

All he had to do was keep third, he reminded himself. Nothing more, nothing less.

Thanks to that he had less time to look at the recordings on the laptop. Though he had already decided that he would look over only the flagged entries, and only once a day. Matt doubted that anyone would be using the area around the dusty hallway unless it was L, so he wouldn't worry about that too much unless he found something interesting from Roger's office that pointed to it.

Though the audio was a bit trickier, he could speed through it, the only problem being if he happened to miss something important. That wouldn't go over well with Light. Not at all.

Despite all of this, Matt wasn't worried. He'd figure something out, simply because he was required to. And he had one less worry now that Mello was no longer sulking and being angry at him.

Matt tried not to think of the blonde too much, as he usually ended up distracted. He wondered if it was because he wasn't really sure how to act around him or if it was the fact that Matt had never really had a friend.

Sure he knew people, even joked with a few, but Matt knew that this was different. He felt it. And he wasn't sure what to make of it.

Matt heard angered muttering as he entered the room and took in Mello's form as he paced. He had a small book in his hand and seemed to read it as he strode back and forth across the room; chocolate bar half shoved in his mouth.

Matt had seen stranger sights and merely closed the door and placed his things on his desk once Mello has gone back to his side of the room. The blonde didn't even seem to notice that he was in the room until he almost collided with him.

"What the hell?" Mello blinked, backed up, and continued on. Matt shook his head in amusement and decided that Mello was too caught up in working on the paper he should also started. Instead, he decided to look up the feeds from Roger's office.

Who knew, there might have been something interesting, or incriminating going on in there.

Matt had one ear bud in just as Mello snapped off a piece of chocolate. He was about to place the other one in when Mello snarled suddenly. "I hate this fucking chocolate! Stupid Roger making me eat this fake crap!" Matt looked up in time to see Mello hurl the remains of the bar onto his desk where it broke into pieces.

"There is better stuff than this that doesn't cost much more. Won't even let me use my own money, stupid old man.... damn it I want the expensive kind!" Matt wasn't sure if Mello was aware that he could hear him, or even sure if Mello knew he was practically shouting at that point.

"-just because the man has something against me I have to suffer!" If Matt hadn't known about Mello's temper he might have just agreed with the blonde that Roger had something against him, mainly because Matt was finding that the more time he spent around the man, the less he liked him.

But because he sort of knew the blonde, Roger's treatment was kind of justified. Though Matt wasn't sure that preventing Mello from using his own money to buy 'better' chocolate, for the blondes apparent addiction to the sugary treat, really should have had anything to do with how Roger disliked him.

Matt just decided to stop thinking at the moment, as he had started to distract himself again, and went back to surveillance.

Matt was rather disappointed that there wasn't really anything going on at Roger's office, L or otherwise. Though the uninteresting part also included all the other feeds he skimmed over. Most of the things tagged were mainly kids talking about when L might call again, or if he was going to make it for Christmas.

Uninteresting and boring.

Well that was a nice way to waste two hours of his life. Despite how much he wanted to just sit down and play his games, Matt knew he ought to complete at least one of his projects. So he had a choice, read a novel and complete whatever they were supposed to do for it, or read over an old case file and solve it.

He rather liked the second option better as it wouldn't completely bore him. He had no interest in the novel they were required to read, so it depended on what he actually had to do, but he might just skim read it for the main plot.

Reading over the case had been easy, though he'd still had to use his mind to figure out the connection between the killer and the reason for choosing the victims. It had been rather obscure.

He was now supposed to write a detailed paper of some kind and explain his findings and blah blah blah. Matt held no patience for that sort of thing, and knew he would only do enough to ensure himself good markings.

Matt turned the music up when Mello's musing, or ranting, got too loud to ignore. Though Matt didn't want to do that mundane work he still needed to think about what he was going to write. How Mello got anything done while pacing about like that was a mystery to Matt.

And yet the blonde had almost completed the novel. Though Matt had caught the large yawn and rapid blinking of his blue eyes.

Matt had noticed it all week, and even the night before, no matter how much Mello let himself sleep it was never enough. He always seemed tired. He knew it was because of the blonde's study habits but he hadn't a clue about what to do about them.

Matt hadn't known Mello long enough to really have any sway with him.

Well to be exact he'd known him for almost two weeks, but a few of those days were spent with Mello glaring at him and possibly plotting his death. So it wasn't much of a help.

With an inward groan Matt placed an unlit cigarette in his mouth and went back to the paper. Thinking about Mello got him nowhere, and he really needed to get this low priority stuff done while he had the time.

Matt wasn't sure how long he'd worked, but he finished the paper. Though it probably wasn't nearly detailed enough for the teachers liking. Matt didn't really care. It was enough to get a good marking.

Matt stretched, both of his arms going towards the ceiling. Staying hunched over a laptop for any length of time always left him stiff, even with being on a comfortable surface.

As Matt glanced up, he saw that Mello had stopped his previous pacing and was now situated on his bed. The blonde closed his eyes with an irritated look and pinched the bridge of his nose. A bar of unopened chocolate sat beside Mello's crossed legs and didn't look like it was likely to be eaten any time soon.

Matt hoped the blonde would actually go to dinner that night. Because if he followed last weeks schedule he wasn't going to eat tomorrow at all, after an all night study session too. Matt rubbed a hand across his face with a sigh.

He had gotten distracted _again_. What was it about Mello that pulled, no _demanded,_ all of his attention even when he didn't want to give it?

What Matt needed to do was distract Mello from studying. But how? Matt's covered eyes swept across the room and eventually landed back on Mello. And the chocolate.

And from that, Matt got an idea, though it was a toss up to if it would work.

"Hey Mello?" Matt heard the blonde sigh as he turned to look at him. Mello glared at him, irritated, text book open in his lap.

"What? I am studying, or can't you see that?" Matt decided to ignore how rude Mello was attempting to be, mainly because he knew the blonde hadn't had much sleep the night before; probably less than Matt himself had gotten. And studying all day on top of that certainly wasn't going to help his attitude.

That and Mello seemed to naturally have PMS on a good day.

"Have you ever though that maybe your excessive studying is the reason you can't reach first?" Matt heard the sharp intake of breath and looked up. Mello's eyes had narrowed and he looked ready to throw a fit.

That meant that, as usual, Mello had only heard the part about him not being able to reach first. Typical Mello.

"Let me explain before you storm off." Matt said levelly. Mello didn't so much as move a muscle so Matt took it as a clue to talk.

"Look how tired you are right now, you have bags under your eyes and if it wasn't for me bringing you something you wouldn't have eaten lunch today. Tell me that isn't affecting you."

Mello sighed heavily and leaned foreword.

"I have to beat Near if I want to become L. And for that I have to study. Prove that I am better with my scores. You don't get it because you don't care."

Matt rolled his eyes. He didn't get it? Said the one who nearly killed himself each week for a stupid fucking test.

"I get that you have this need to be the best, I understand that. All I'm saying is, the way you're going about it is probably the reason you haven't gotten first yet. You stress yourself out so much, work yourself to exhaustion and practically starve yourself. All of those things work against you. You need rest…" Matt went back to his game with a shrug of his shoulder.

If Mello wanted to be stubborn then that was fine; he would either listen or he wouldn't. Matt wasn't even sure why he cared so much, he'd only known the blonde for two weeks. Though Matt hopped that wouldn't be the actual end of the conversation, that Mello would continue it.... if he didn't, Matt knew the conversation would fall silent and never be spoke of again.

"You can't know that." Mello said softly. "If I don't study so much I'll fall behind!"

Mello, it seemed, liked to ignore important facts where 'rest' was concerned.

"Mello, take a break. Put the book away, it's almost time to eat at any rate." Mello looked over at him incredulously. "What have you got to loose?" Matt asked calmly.

"What have I got to loose?! You know-" Matt cut Mello off before the blonde could go on a rant.

"If worse comes to worst you'll stay second. Nothing lost and nothing gained." Mello sat up and stared at him, a furious glint in his eyes.

"Worse comes to worst I'd end up third?! Could you imagine it?" Mello practically yelled the last part. At that point, Matt was rather annoyed. Was this why he'd never had friends before? Because when you tried to help them, they went all crazy and looked at you like you had just killed their cat?

"Mello, you're smart. No, brilliant. You'd have to be to have stayed at the top for so long. You won't fall further than second. And you're already there. If the points don't show an improvement from you taking small breaks, I'll buy you a few bars of that expensive chocolate you mentioned Roger not letting you have." Mello's eyes lit up, and suddenly took on a rather devious edge; as though he had actually considered messing up just to get his chocolate.

It also seemed Mello ignored the fact that Matt probably shouldn't have heard him when he had been complaining earlier, either... Perhaps Matt could bribe him with chocolate more often.

"However, if the points do show that you have improved I'll buy you a case of that chocolate." Mello's eyes had practically dropped from his skull at that point and Matt had found it rather humorous and couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips.

"What's in it for you, either way you're getting me chocolate? I don't understand..."

Matt didn't understand it all that much either, so he just said what came to mind first when he thought on it.

"If it works I wont have to watch my roommate drop dead from exhaustion." and Matt supposed that it was true. Mello was going to end up in an early grave the way he was living, or existing, at the moment.

"I only have to take... small breaks?" the way Mello said it made it sound like taking a break was painful. Then again it was Mello....

"Yes, but you actually have to relax. Eat something, rest. No textbooks. And tomorrow, no extra studying, you are going to actually eat instead of rereading stuff you already know. If you don't follow those conditions then you won't get any chocolate. And I'm sure if I told Roger I thought the chocolate was making you sick then he would make sure you didn't get any either."

Mello looked horrified at the prospect of no chocolate _at all._

"Fine. I just have to... take it easy? Only until the rankings are posted?" Matt almost sighed in relief. Even if it was only for a short while, Matt thought it would help Mello.

"Unless your score goes up. Who knows, maybe by actually letting your brain rest, you might beat Near." Mello looked dubiously at Matt, his disbelief showed completely.

Mello glanced down again and seemed to get lost in the pages once more. "Mello!" the blonde jerked his head up. "Now?" Mello cringed as he asked.

"Yes, now." Matt replied. Mello could act like a child at times. Not that Matt could really say anything when his games were concerned.... pot calling kettle black and all that.

It would be good for Mello; despite the blonde's forlorn look as he closed his textbook. And maybe Matt could actually get some of his own work done now that he wasn't worrying about having to pick his roommate off the floor.

Not that he really had _that _much work to do.

Matt glanced at the cover of the book he was supposed to read. He may not have had a lot of work, but it would take him forever to read that thing. It just looked like it was made to put you to sleep.

"Let's get going Mello." they would be at the dining hall before most of the other children, but more time there meant less time reading...

Mello groaned softly but slid off the bed and into a standing position. Together they made their way to dinner, neither talking, though the silence was comfortable in Matt's opinion.

Matt decided on a salad, though he wasn't sure what some of the things in it were, and a few pieces of bread as he wasn't all that hungry. He wondered at that. He used to eat a ton while at HQ, and now it seemed his appetite had diminished a little.

Was it because he couldn't smoke all the time? Or was it just a side effect from being sick?

Matt wasn't sure, though he made a mental note to look it up. He'd always had problems keeping his weight up, and he never exercised. He had already been told he needed to eat more, so he figured that since the opposite was occurring he'd better figure out why. He didn't need to turn into a walking skeleton.

"Matt, what are your thoughts on the case we were assigned?" Matt glanced up until Mello got the hint for his silence. Matt finished off another piece of bread while he waited.

"What! It's not studying; this is an actual assignment so it's not part of the deal. It's only a question..." Mello crossed his arms and glared at him. Matt knew that Mello was correct, and it probably wasn't fair to completely restrict the blonde. Mello probably needed at least some form of stimulation, even if it was something small, so he didn't get anxious.

"I already finished." Mello's eyes widened for a small fraction of a second before understanding filled them. "You rushed through it didn't you?"

Matt took out his PSP as his answer, as a smile formed despite himself; Mello snorted and shook his head.

"At the rate your going you won't even stay third. I bet you'd be happy just playing those damn games all day too." Matt shrugged a shoulder and didn't bother to deny it, Mello sighed.

Near watched the exchange, completely silent, and Matt wondered what the albino was thinking. Matt knew that the boy liked puzzles, from what he'd seen on surveillance, or at least used them to further his thoughts. He wondered how their interactions fit within Near's clearly shaped world.

Or if they fit at all.

Out of the three of them, Matt had the most real world experience; though no one there knew that.

Mello had the most passion and drive, a complete dedication to his goals. And Near had the most focus, coldly solving puzzles without a hint of emotion.

Matt figured that if one of them had all three of those qualities that L would have automatically chosen them to be his only successor.

Matt was rather happy he didn't fit the mold. Though he wasn't sure why exactly, because if he did, then it would make his mission go a lot quicker, wouldn't it?

"Matt, look up from your damn games for a moment. Its time to go." Mello punched him lightly in the arm and when Matt did look up he noticed that Mello was correct.

"The level was getting good." he responded, though he honestly hadn't been paying much attention to the game at all.

Mello rolled his eyes though a smile did worm its way onto his face.

Matt followed him back to the room, trailing after him with his mind back on the game. He didn't want to deal with thoughts of the mission any more, because then he would have to think about what would happen once Light actually got what he was looking for.

And he wasn't paid enough for that. Actually, he was paid NOT to think on it.

Mello didn't really seem to know what to do once back in their room, now that he wasn't able to study and the silence in the room got rather awkward, even for Matt. Matt even entertained the thought of turning the PSP off of mute but decided that it would have only made the silence worse.

"How long have you been here?" Matt had found himself asking; his eyes flicked upwards every few seconds to survey the blonde. Mello looked up sharply, an odd gleam in his eyes.

"For as long as I can remember. Wammys is all I have known." he stated in a quiet tone. Matt nodded, there were no words that needed to be spoken to that. Instead, he decided to ask something he'd wondered for a while.

"Why _do _you eat so much chocolate?"

Mello gave him an incredulous look. "Have you ever tasted the _good _stuff?" Matt shook his head; the admission made Mello's jaw drop.

"When you buy some for me, I'll let you try a piece. Besides chocolate is just damn good...." Matt smiled, though he wasn't sure that really answered his question.

"Why do you smoke?" Mello asked it in a way that suggested he didn't expect a real answer, so Matt did the opposite.

"Because it's calming for me. And rather addictive after a while." he stated with a shrug. Mello looked rather pleased at the answer and seemed to almost hesitate, as he fiddled with a wrapper, before he asked something else.

"Why the goggles?" Matt wasn't sure he really wanted to answer that, but felt that there was something more than just a question being asked. Perhaps a test of Mello's own? It wasn't as if it was anything important really, so he decided to answer truthfully.

"Because when people look into your eyes they can see your thoughts, or so I've heard. I never liked sharing." and it was true. Matt had been told that he had the most expressive eyes once, by someone whose face he had long ago forgotten, but whose voice haunted him when he let it.

"So you're not hiding some scar or something like that under there?" Matt shook his head and wondered where Mello got that from. It must have showed in his expression as Mello continued on.

"Sadly people don't know when to be quiet, even in a library, and I ended up hearing the latest gossip questions about you."

Matt couldn't help it, he laughed.

It was not something he had expected. People were... _gossiping_ about him. That was weird. Well it was weird to hear about it at any rate.

Mello tried to hide a yawn behind his hand, but failed. "Mello?" the blonde in question looked up.

"Go to sleep."

Mello scowled but yawned again and his shoulders sagged in defeat. Had Mello been studying he would have ignored his tiredness by that point, and instead consumed mass amounts of chocolate to help keep him awake.

But Matt was glad Mello wasn't doing either of those things.

As Mello headed into the bathroom Matt changed right there in the room. Matt checked his PSP battery and was satisfied that it would at least last for a few more hours. He turned off his light and slide under the covers though he knew he wouldn't sleep for some time despite how tired he was.

Mello, clad in only boxers, exited the bathroom. Matt felt his face flush in memory of the rest of Mello he'd seen. That he _shouldn't _have seen. Matt tore his eyes away and shook his head, though he could tell exactly when Mello had finally settled beneath the blankets.

The light went out on Mello's side and the room was dark except for his PSP screen.

"Matt?" Mello asked after a few minutes.

"Hmmm?" Matt concentrated on beating a boss so he didn't waste energy on actually speaking.

"Goodnight...." Mello was cut off by another yawn.

Matt couldn't remember the last time someone said that to him; it had to have been at least seven years. And yet, it didn't feel odd at all.

The faint light illuminated his half smile and Matt tried to focus on the game rather than the ever steadying sounds of Mello's breaths.

An interesting mission indeed.

-**End Proposition-**

**AN**: Damn I'm tired now..... and Matty wouldn't cooperate...... And really 13 reviews? You guys really are great! (and I got a comment on how I always seem to surprise you readers with my writing (like a few chapters ago, but my memory suxs) well, I'm usually surprised too. Half of what I write isn't planned, at all.)

**Special thanks to reviewers**: foreverunloved, Killer Teddy 101, Noecho, RainbowJapan, Living in a fantasy, HoshiYoshix3, Sweetheart5793, Amaya-Ai, IndifferenceToSociety, Enjy, snappygirl, Galaxy The Element Girl, Zena Silverwing

Review?


	8. Chapter 7 pt 1: Coffee

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: Fair warning..... I was absolutely knackered when I wrote this. (which inspired the beginning....) Like ready to fall over and sleep. And yes, I used the word _knackered_. ;p

And this chapter has been split into** two** parts, as it was 6,000+ words, to make it easier for me to edit and get it out on time. So, if it seems to end oddly, that's why.

**Suggested Listening**: Frontline **by** Pillar**;** Houmatsu **by** heidi.

**Chapter Seven part 1**: _Coffee_

Matt woke as a chocolate wrapper hit him square in the face. It made his nose itch and he couldn't help but sneeze, causing laughter to echo from across the room. Matt had no idea why but he wasn't annoyed, like he felt he had a right to be.

That place messed with his head, he decided as he sluggishly blinked and sat up; he hadn't quite realized that his goggles weren't on.

"Since I can't study now, I'm bored- hey your eyes are green!" Mello sounded surprised.

Matt blinked again at the sound of Mello's voice and after another moment finally registered what the blonde had been saying.

Green eyes.

Wait...?

That meant that his goggles were somewhere in the bed, probably tangled within the sheets. Matt didn't really care that Mello knew his eyes color, it was the fact that Mello could ask him anything and if the blonde paid enough attention to his eyes he could discern the truth even if Matt were to lie.

Mello could ask him if he were Kira's spy and then everything would go down the drain…

Matt shook his head slightly. Why the hell would Mello even think to ask him that? Matt yawned widely. He was never really all 'there' whenever someone else woke him up. He needed to wake naturally or his thoughts got all jumbled for a few minutes, sometimes longer.

It was the weirdest thing....

"Matt?" he looked up at Mello's voice and wondered when he'd looked away. He needed caffeine. He hadn't seen them serving coffee at breakfast, so he would have to check the kitchens to see if they had any. Though it made sense since many of the occupants there, besides the staff, were children under twelve.

Caffeine....

"Matt? What the hell-"

"Not awake yet. Need coffee...." he yawned again and slid from the bed. He could feel Mello's eyes follow his every movement, except for when he started to pull his boxers down to change.

Matt finally slipped his goggles back on and headed for the door.

"You're serious aren't you? Oh damn why did I wake you… hey wait!" Mello's face was lightly tinged pink though Matt didn't really care to examine why. He hated the cobweb feeling that invaded his brain when he got like this.

It wasn't_ every _time he was woken by something other than his internal clock. Just sometimes…. A lot of the time. And Matt had no explanation for it, though it had never really posed a problem as he'd always had coffee on hand.

Coffee, cigarettes and games. That and the work he did for Light, was his life.

He really needed to 'wake' up if his thoughts were going down this road right now. Matt was vaguely aware that Mello had followed him and he wondered at that. Perhaps Mello really was as bored as he'd stated. Matt closed his eyes and let out a small breath. Sleep was overrated....

The door to the kitchen was closed and Matt made sure to listen for any sounds going on in there before he entered. Having heard nothing he pushed the door open, he didn't bother to close it. The kitchen was large and seemed to be stocked with everything one could want, just like the rest of the house.

Seeing all the cabinets and extra pantry space, he sighed. Just where in the hell would the coffee be?

"It's damn near impossible to find anything if you've never been in here before, and even then its confusing. I used to get caught all the time when I was little. Though I still think they moved things around on me...."

Matt watched as Mello strode passed him, once again decked out in his skin tight leather, and bypassed the cabinets and went into one of the pantries. It was large enough for a two people to walk in, thought still difficult to move in.

"There are a lot of brands... I've never even seen anyone drink coffee, why the hell do we have so much?!" Matt joined the blonde inside and was surprised to a half a row dedicated to coffee.

He smirked. One more reason this was better than HQ. He never had the good stuff there, and this... this had a lot of good stuff. _Expensive _stuff.

He chose a hazelnut flavored one; he had to reach over Mello's head to get it, and walked back out into the main room. His eyes quickly scanned the room and he found a coffee maker next to the stoves. Mello was silent the entire time Matt set up the coffee, and all the way until Matt actually had a mug in his hands.

Matt sipped experimentally at it, and finding it alright temperature wise, took a larger sip. Nothing was better than strong coffee with just two sugars.

"Are you all there now? I swear it was like half your brain had run off..." Mello had his arms crossed and a particularly annoyed expression. Matt shrugged. It was Mello's fault for waking him. It was a hit or miss regarding that particular reaction though.

"Let's go before we get caught, you do know we are not supposed to be here, right?" Mello commented. Matt raised an eyebrow at the blonde.

"I didn't figure you for one to sick to rules."

Mello got a rather devious look and smirked. "True."

Matt refilled the coffee before he left with the mug. He'd bring it back eventually. Or just use it for more coffee runs. The latter sounded more appealing. Though now that he was more alert, and had caffeine running around his system, he wanted a cigarette.

"Where are you going now?" Mello hissed. Matt had to admit, irritating Mello was rather amusing especially when the blonde willfully followed him.

"It's cold out, why the hell are we going outside!" Matt ignored the small outburst and slid a cigarette between his lips.

"Why do I feel like I'm talking to myself...?" he heard Mello groan softly to himself. Definitely amusing.

Mello coughed slightly as Matt lit up, the wind having blown it right into his face. Matt almost felt bad. Until Mello punched him in the arm, _hard_. Yup, that killed the guilt. Beat it with a stick and killed it.

As much as Matt wanted to stay out there and smoke a few more while enjoying the coffee he wasn't supposed to have, it was too damn cold. It _was _almost winter... Matt took one last drag before he stubbed out the remainder of the cigarette on the bottom of his boot.

"Finally!" Mello complained while he darted back inside. "I was about to freeze my ba-"

"What was Mello doing outside?"

Matt smacked into Mello's back and they both stumble foreword. "What the hell did you stop for?" After he checked that the coffee was still intact Matt looked up and noticed Near; who stood in the hallway with the same blank expression. Well, that would definitely be the reason Mello stopped.

"What do you want Near?" Mello practically snarled. That made Matt curious, if Mello really disliked the boy to that degree, then why did he sit with them during meals? Not that Matt was really sitting with Near as more of being followed by him.

Damn stalker.

He knew the moment he changed tables the strange albino would follow him. And Matt supposed Mello would as well.

"What were Mello and Matt doing outside?" Near completely disregarded Mello's question, though Matt had an idea that Near had merely been playing with his toys until recently. Really, he never seemed to sleep much. He was almost always being recorded in the common room or even the library.

"Nothing for you to be concerned with!" Mello's eyes had narrowed and Matt sensed a fight looming. He didn't know either of them well enough to know if actual violence had occurred between them before, or what they might do if it did occur.

It was too damn early for that shit.

"I'm sure Roger will tell you if you ask him nicely. I'm going to finish my coffee in peace, you coming Mello?" Mello looked momentarily taken aback before he nodded and began to follow Matt.

Near was left to stare at the two retreating figures.

Upon entering their room, Matt headed for his desk and sat backwards on the chair, coffee held in one hand while he turned his PSP on with the other. Matt knew he wasn't really awake enough to attempt the brain teaser game at the moment, but did so anyway.

Mainly to see how badly his score would be affected.

Mello was silently doing something on his side of the room, probably studying. Which wouldn't actually be breaking the deal, as Mello had rested the night before. And as long as he ate his meals and didn't tire himself even more he would be within the constraints of the deal.

Matt sighed; it almost felt like he had to take care of a child…

When Matt finished his coffee, he knew it was around the time breakfast would start. And when he looked at the clock he was proved correct.

He stood up, stretched his stiff joints, and entered the bathroom to rinse the 'borrowed' cup. Which he then left by the sink.

Mello had indeed been studying before Matt poked him in the arm. Blue eyes meet his and he saw Mello's shoulders slump slightly.

"Time to go already?" Matt didn't respond as Mello had already put the textbook aside and stood. Mello took one last forlorn look at the abandoned book before they left; Matt had to wonder about the blonde's sanity.

Too much studying was brain rotting. At least to Matt.

Despite the earlier confrontation, everything was normal at breakfast. Or at least normal where Mello and Near were concerned. Matt concentrated on his food, though his appetite was still off. He glanced at Mello every once and a while just to make sure the blonde actually ate.

"Why is Mello here?" Near finally questioned, having finished his food a small while before. The albino always ate less at breakfast than he did any other meal.

Mello rolled his eyes and gestured towards Matt, which didn't really answer the question in Matt's opinion. And Near seemed to understand that Matt would not answer his question either so he remained quiet after that.

If Matt thought on it, it _would _seem odd to Near that Mello was at breakfast. On a Friday. Which was the testing day. For it seemed that Mello hardly ate anything on those days...

Though Matt could see just how much more alert Mello was, just from relaxing one night. It wouldn't make up for however many weeks, months or even possibly years the blonde had been doing that. But it was a start.

It made Matt wonder why Mello hadn't thought of that before? Or had he, and dismissed it because it cut into his study time?

Did being L really mean that much to him that it clouded his judgment? Or did the blonde just get so absorbed in things that he lost track of time to that degree?

The last made the most sense.

Mello was talking animatedly about something or other, Matt didn't really listen, and it was almost odd to see him in such a good mood. Thought he doubted that Mello would ever admit rest was a good thing.

With everyone getting up Matt knew it was time to leave. Which he did rather reluctantly. He'd rather skip the tests all together. Some were challenging, he supposed, but mainly they just didn't hold his attention.

They all had the same classes now that Matt had been moved up, so he merely followed Mello to the classroom. Matt was seated all the way in the back while both Mello and Near took seats in the front.

Matt didn't mind not being next to Mello during the testing, in fact, he preferred it. He could already feel the tension that surrounded the blonde. Everything was a competition to him especially when Near was involved.

It wasn't hard to see that.

During the tests Matt did his best to make sure he stayed third, if that was possible. It would be rather bad if he overtook Mello. The blonde would see the entire deal they had as a ploy made just so Matt could take his spot. Mello would never trust him again if that occurred.

Though for the mission that may have been a good thing.

There were three tests then the break for lunch. And with the blonde in the same room it was easy to make Mello go to lunch. Though with the threat of no chocolate hanging over him if he broke the deal he doubted Mello would have dared to go study.

Lunch was quiet.

Mello seemed lost in his own thoughts, and it passed quickly. For Matt at least. He was finally able to go out for a quick smoke before the next round of tests as well as play a few minutes of his game.

The last test of the day had a computer portion on it and Matt couldn't help but answer everything correctly. It had been too easy. He doubted he could have left false answers on any of them even if he wanted to. It would have irritated him.

Technology was his field. And he refused to get a low score for it.

Matt stood from the desk as the final test ended, and stretched. He saw Mello narrow his eyes at something Near said and snarl at the smaller boy. Matt sighed. At this point he wasn't even sure if Near was doing those things on purpose or if he honestly didn't notice.

Mello turned around as he heard Matt and practically dragged him from the classroom.

Matt stood, blinking, at the entrance to their room where the blonde had finally released his arm.

"That damn albino pisses me off so much sometimes! Bastard thinks he is so high and mighty..." Mello took a large bite of chocolate, though from his expression was disappointed in the taste, and paced his side of the room.

Mello, while more lively, was still tired. Matt could see it in the way he was moving, and even in his foul expression, which was strained.

Though it didn't seem as bad as the week before, not nearly as bad, but it appeared things were finally beginning to catch up with him now that his body had been allowed some form of actual rest.

"Don't push yourself so much. If you're tired then take a nap."

Mello turned his scowl on Matt. "A nap? What am I, five?"

Matt raised an eyebrow and Mello glared.

Though Mello couldn't hold his sour expression for long as a yawn broke free. Mello sighed heavily before he flopped onto his bed. "Fine. But don't let me sleep too long."

Matt grinned. "I'll be back in a little while then."

"Where are you going?" Mello propped himself up on his elbows and Matt had to glance away.

"Library. So I can play my games with sound." Matt, despite the fact that he wanted to do just that, would only have the days surveillance as entertainment.

Mello laughed and rolled his eyes. "You're supposed to be quiet in a library." Matt shrugged which made Mello hum in amusement.

"Whatever, just make sure I'm up before dinner." Mello rolled over and it gave Matt the chance to grab his book bag where his laptop was still inside.

He quietly exited the room and headed off for the library. Though it was a cold day, it was sunny, so Matt doubted that there would be anyone in there. There was still the possibility of Near being in there, but he mostly frequented the common room.

The good thing about surveillance was that one could quickly come to memorize another's routine. Near tended not to deviate very much from his so Matt was almost certain he would be left in peace for a few hours.

Matt swiftly climbed the stairs to the second floor of the library and settled himself into the plush chair there, thought he didn't move it closer to the table. Instead he leaned back and propped his legs across the chairs arm and placed the laptop on his stomach.

The position was only moderately comfortable.

As usual there was nothing worth looking over, or even listening to. Mainly children discussing L and Halloween plans. Though Matt wasn't sure why the detective would possibly come by on that holiday.

It wasn't all that far away though, only a week or two away.

Other than that however... there was nothing. Anything recorded from Roger's office was boring and mostly about the children that resided there. Though Matt did overhear him and Wammy conversing about himself. Roger couldn't seem to understand why Matt had not requested a change of rooms, or why he wasn't sporting bruises because of Mello.

Matt smirked at that.

He and Mello were... well Matt would almost call themselves friends, he didn't know what Mello would say to that though. But he doubted Mello would hit him anytime soon. Unless of course Matt happened to surpass him in the rankings, or hid his chocolate again.

Matt shook his head. No, then Mello would probably murder him. The thought was rather amusing despite how it really wasn't supposed to be.

He quickly got bored of searching the feeds for anything useful, and decided to begin his new report. This time it wouldn't have to be as long. Matt didn't even know why he had to do them in the first place; there was only so much he could say about his weekly activities before it all became monotonous.

Light would probably stop reading it once he realized there was no change in anything. Then again, the man's obsession with L might prevent that...

As Matt began to write, he decided to leave out most of his dealings with Mello as they really had nothing to do with the case. Though he did mention him in the report, as he was his roommate. He merely stated things about Mello's study habits, and nothing more.

He wasn't sure why exactly, but Matt wasn't comfortable with Light knowing too much about Mello, even the little bit that Matt actually knew. He doubted that any of this would be helpful to Light so he wasn't too worried should Light discover he left things out.

Matt ended up finishing earlier than he had planned and was left with no more work. Or rather, nothing more that he wished to do for the time being. He checked the time just to make sure, it had only been around two hours, and he packed up the laptop and pulled out his PSP.

He slowly made his way down the stairs, eyes trained on the small PSP screen, and continued on to their room. Albeit slowly. The more rest Mello go the better for him, though Matt knew if he wait too long to wake the blonde, Mello would not be happy.

-**End**_**Coffee**_**-**

**AN**: OH DEAR KAMI! This chapter took forever, it kept giving me issues! I honestly thought I would never be able to finish it. But I did. And it got better after the first thousand words. *shrugs*

You will have to wait a few days for the second half of it though…

OK really randomly…… my beta and I were talking about the new vampire movie that is coming out ("Daybreakers") and she jokingly asked me if they 'sparkled'. Neither of us like Twilight (no offense to Twilight fans, but it's just not our cup of tea.)

She then asked me where the hell they came up with that idea, so I replied 'someone's kid spilled glitter on the table'

So needless to say (as I was editing this at the time) I made fun of that with DN.

**Death Note vampire omake**:

**Matt:** *covers self with glitter* Hahahah I'm a vampire!

**Mello**: *face palm*

Yeah….. lame I know. But this is what we text to each other….. What's my age again?

_**Special thanks to reviewers: **_MysticalTears, merichuel, foreverunloved, RainbowJapan, Zena Silverwing, Ironytoday, IndifferenceToSociety, HoshiYoshix3, Amaya-Ai, Mezzanotte Nera, snappygirl, Sigga-san

_REVIEW PLEASE!_


	9. Chapter 7 pt 2: One

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: And here is part 2! Sorry for it being late again (you see a pattern starting?) but I actually forgot about this *sheepish smile* I was so caught up in writing later chapters of this (I'm up to 16 now! Yay me) that I forgot this needed editing... heh.

Yay this broke 100 review, you guys are awesome!

Oh..... and can anyone catch the song title reference in here? It's within the first thousand words, and has to do with Mello. Though I really didn't mean to end up with a song title... and I doubt anyone will get it as I don't think it's a well known song.

Lol I don't' even like it, my dad does and I had to DL it for him since he's computer inept.

**Suggested Listening**: Apathetic Way To Be **by** Relient K (this song was so made for Matt...)

**Chapter Seven part 2**: _One_

When Matt did get to their room, nearly fifteen minutes later, he didn't bother trying to be quiet. He hoped that Mello would wake on his own... but that didn't seem to have happened.

Mello was still sprawled across his bed, with one arm and leg draped over the edge. Matt was amazed he hadn't fallen off of it yet. "Mello." he called softly. The blonde stirred but didn't wake.

Matt sighed. He didn't want to shake him or anything, as he didn't know if Mello was the type to lash out upon being woken up. He glanced around the room and spied one of Mello's large textbooks.

That could work.

He picked it up, slammed it on the desk and watched as Mello was startled awake and sat up; his eyes searched the room until they rested on him. Matt held back his laughter at the highly un-amused expression Mello wore.

Matt had a feeling he would get retaliation for this, but couldn't find it in himself to care much as long as his cigarettes weren't bothered.

"You couldn't wake me up like a normal person!?"

Matt shook his head. "I didn't want to take the chance of getting hit." Mello gave him an odd look before he yawned softly and ran a hand across his face. "What time is it?" he finally asked.

"About an hour before dinner." Matt replied. Mello rolled his eyes. "You couldn't just tell me the time, could you?"

Matt shrugged and seated himself on his bed, and made himself comfortable before he returned to his game.

"You're rather useless as far as entertainment value goes aren't you?" Matt shrugged a shoulder to Mello's accusation.

He wasn't there to keep Mello entertained. At least not as far as he knew...

After a few minutes more of silence Mello groaned and Matt heard as the blonde got off the bed and shuffled across the room and started to rifle around his dresser. Many crashes and curses later it seemed that Mello had finally found whatever he'd been looking for.

Mello then settled himself back onto the bed and was silent, which in turn made Matt rather curious as to what he was doing.

As he looked up it appeared that Mello was reading, though what it was Matt couldn't tell.

"It's a normal book, I'm not studying." the sound of Mello's voice slightly started Matt. Mello hadn't once looked up so it was rather interesting that he'd known he was being watched. The fact that Mello_ could _have been studying hadn't even crossed Matt's mind yet, though he doubted that Mello had lied to him.

"Never said that you were."

Mello snorted at him in disbelief. The room fell silent once more, punctuated only by the turning of pages and the occasional too hard click of a button.

It wasn't until noise from the hallway reached their ears did they realize just how late it had gotten. Matt looked up from his game and turned to the clock on his side of the room. "Time to leave I guess."

He heard Mello sigh from across the room, while he seemingly marked his page, and stood up. "You act like eating is a chore." Matt commented dryly to the blonde.

"Don't you think it would be easier if we didn't have to get interrupted by things like sleep or eating?" Matt rolled his eyes behind the goggles.

"You mean so that there would be more time to study? Hm… perhaps. But then I guess you wouldn't need chocolate either." Mello's face turned from thoughtful to horrified. Matt found it amusing. Very _amusing_.

"Let's go." they were already a bit later than usual, not that it really mattered. Matt just liked to have time to eat rather than be rushed. He followed Mello from the room though his eyes were still glued to the PSP.

He was in the middle of a level and not really near a save point so it wasn't a great place to have to pause. Especially during a mini-game which was followed by a boss battle.

Matt didn't really pay attention to what he put on his plate, mainly trying not to die in the game, and only noticed something was odd at the table when Mello commented on it being a peaceful dinner for once.

Matt finished the level, took a bite of his food and looked up. He blinked for a moment before he smirked. Mello was right, it was a good dinner. Near, for whatever reason, wasn't there.

It wasn't that Matt disliked him, at least not in the same way Mello did, but whenever the albino was around it felt as though he were trying to discover all of Matt's secrets. And considering the ones he had, Matt wasn't really comfortable with that.

At all.

"Do you think he's sick? Maybe he got food poisoning or something." Mello commented happily while taking a forkful of mash potatoes and eating it. Matt blinked. "And if he does have food poisoning, why are you eating so calmly?"

Mello paused, mid bite, and glared at Matt. "Thanks, now I'm going to be paranoid of getting sick." Mello pushed his food away while Matt laughed. Matt finished his own food, at a slower pace, while Mello frowned unhappily at him.

"Come on you bastard." Mello growled as dinner ended, though there was no heat to his words so Matt knew he wasn't actually angry.

If Mello got pissed over things that small he would have been angry all the time, though Matt knew that if Near had done it Mello would have been _furious_. Maybe if he and Mello ever got closer he'd ask why he hated Near so much.

Until then he would just have to watch.

"Hey Matt, how old are you?" Mello asked suddenly as they entered their room.

"Is there a specific reason you want to know?" Matt questioned back, rather than giving an answer.

"I'm just curious. I don't think you're as young as Near, but you don't seem older than me." Mello took a bite of chocolate, with a frown, and sat at his desk; absently he turned the computer on.

"Sixteen." Matt finally said.

Mello looked contemplative for a moment before he seemingly decided something. "Your birthday?"

"February first." There was no reason to lie to Mello about something so trivial, and yet it still felt odd to be telling the truth as Matt was used to building relationships, friendship or otherwise, upon lies. Especially during a job.

"I'm older than you." Mello said and looked rather pleased. Matt shrugged as he didn't really care so much about that fact. The conversation fell flat as Mello's concentration went to his computer and Matt's to his games.

Matt suddenly wondered if it was possible to hack Roger's computer to find out information. Not anything for Light, as he doubted that anything about L is kept on it no matter how good the security, but perhaps find things out about the other children.

Mainly Mello and Near.

Perhaps he could even hack into Wammys entire system instead of just Roger's computer…

It would have to wait though, until Mello was more preoccupied, and Matt felt he could get away unnoticed at night. Well… it depended on the system he chose…

Matt vaguely remembered turning onto his stomach at some point during his game play, and closing his eyes for a moment. But nothing after that.

Not until he heard a crash somewhere in the room that left him instantly awake and tense. He saw Mello's head poke out from the bathroom, and the blonde looked rather sheepish, for a moment, as he noticed Matt awake before he actually stepped out.

"I dropped something..." he mumbled nonchalantly. Matt guessed it was his way of saying 'sorry I woke you' or something like that. Matt supposed it didn't really matter, he was already awake. The only good part was he wasn't acting like a zombie; there was too much adrenaline coursing through him for that to have happened.

"What time is it?" Matt asked while he stumbled from the bed. He doubted that he would actually be able to focus on the digital clock numbers with his current blurred vision.

"Early but late enough where breakfast will be ready soon." Matt rolled his eyes at Mello's answer before he shut the door to the bathroom. He needed a shower. A nice hot shower to wake him up.

His definition of soon and Mello's definition of soon were vastly different so he only took a quick shower, just enough to calm him down and clear the tiredness from his eyes. Maybe he was playing too many games?

He snorted.

Like that was the problem. The problem was being woken at ungodly hours before noon. _Every single day._ He stepped from the shower and dried himself; it was then that Matt noticed a small problem.

He hadn't brought any clothes with him.

Matt sighed and wrapped the towel around him and strode mostly naked from the bathroom. There was no sense in worrying about it, he needed clothes and standing in the bathroom yelling at himself wouldn't have solved the problem.

Mello's eyebrows shot up in surprise and Matt felt the continued stare as he gathered his things from the dresser. "If you want to see me naked feel free to keep staring." he stated as bluntly as he could.

Mello's eyes lingered for a few seconds more before leaving him. Matt shivered, though it wasn't from the cold.

Things were certainly interesting that morning. And hopefully would continue to stay interesting. Matt hadn't forgotten that the rankings were to be posted that day. In fact he knew that was probably the reason Mello was up so early.

He probably had woken himself a few hours ago simply from agonizing about it even in his sleep. Mello was a little 'off' like that. Or should Matt say obsessed....?

"I'm having a cigarette before I eat." was all Matt stated as he picked up his discarded PSP and left the room. He thought Mello might have said something, but he hadn't really paid much attention.

It was warmer out that morning and Matt wasn't sure if this was some calm before the storm sort of thing or if they were having a warm front. It _was _still early enough for it to be warm....

Then again, Winchester had proven to be full of odd weather.

Matt had been just about to light up his second cigarette when someone, he assumed Mello, opened the door and stood beside him. "Hurry up Matt, I want to see the scores!" the blonde whined.

Matt sighed, because it was really all he could do. Well he could try sarcasm but he doubted it would even make a dent in Mello at that moment. Pity, since Matt knew he could probably start to act more like himself around the blonde.

"Yeah, yeah." he left the unlit stick in his mouth and put the pack and lighter away. Mello mumbled something suspiciously akin to 'finally!' and practically dragged Matt back inside. Matt felt rather like a ragdoll by the end of it.

He was still slightly rubbing his arm, which Matt knew would be sporting a bruise, as he followed Mello the last few steps until they were in front of the large sheet of paper tacked to the wall.

Matt looked on, in slight disappointment, at the scores. He was still third and Mello only got 1 point higher than the week before. Mello looked a little surprised and turned to Matt.

"Well, it wasn't the multiple points I was hoping for. But your score did go up." Matt said evenly. Mello looked thoughtful for a moment before he just nodded and a grin broke out.

"That means you get to buy me a _case_ of chocolate." Mello said while looking rather smug; it made Matt sigh.

"Yes that does." Matt noticed a few of the children, that had only just started to show up, were staring and he wondered why.

And then Matt turned his head to see Roger, who had been watching them. So much for staying mute around the man. He wondered if he could get away with speaking to someone around Roger and yet still ignoring the man himself.

It would probably piss him off. Matt almost thought it would be worth it. But he had chocolate to procure at the moment, so staying on Roger's relatively good side was needed. "What's the brand name?" Mello followed his gaze.

"Green & Blacks, but you can't just walk up to him and request it, he'll know it's me that wants it- hey Matt are you even listening?!" Matt couldn't help but grin as he walked off towards Roger and away from Mello, who was shouting at him now.

As far as Matt was concerned, Roger could think whatever the hell he wanted. But he was still going to let Matt have the chocolate since he wouldn't be able to prove anything.

"Matt, why don't you follow me to my office. There were a few things I wished to ask you, and it seems you have a few of your own." Had Matt not walked up to Roger of his own free will he might have wondered at how Roger knew that. Mello had only shouted the last part, so it was doubtful the man had heard anything else.

"Take a seat." Matt almost decided to stay standing but knew that he could antagonize the man in later days. Roger stared almost disapprovingly at him for a moment and it wasn't until Matt moved the cigarette to the other side of his mouth did he realize why.

Wammy must have said something really good to let Matt keep his addiction if Roger was practically having a fit at the unlit one.

"First, how are you adjusting here?" Roger waatched him intently and Matt had to force back a smirk. Did he honestly think he was having problems with Mello?

"I'm fine." there was no use in staying 'mute' for this conversation. "No problems with your room at all?" Matt rolled his eyes, though Roger couldn't see it.

"Everything is fine. Kind of boring actually." he shrugged a shoulder and was rather amused at Roger's confused expression. Had Mello really been that bad? Well, Matt knew the boy packed a rather nasty punch when provoked. And he'd really been a dick the first few days...

Maybe the whole problem had stemmed from nobody retaliating. Matt might have to ask Mello one of those days.

With it painfully obvious that Roger had no more to say, or ask, the silence all telling; Matt looked up at the man.

"Would it be possible to get a case of chocolate for myself?" Roger looked rather skepticaly at him.

"Chocolate helps me control my cravings, and since I can't smoke as much, it's making me jittery...." Roger clearly didn't believe him, but didn't seem to want to come out and say it.

Which Matt found hilarious.

"Do you have a preferred brand?" at this Matt grinned. He pretended to look thoughtful for a moment before he nodded.

"Green & Blacks. The sixty percent cocoa content and up will be fine, just make sure it isn't filled with anything weird like nuts or fruit. It ruins the chocolate." Matt had to wonder where exactly all of that came from, it was like he'd been channeling Mello; he _had _noticed that Mello didn't eat anything lower than fifty percent cocoa, and there never was any additives in it.

Though on the plus side, it appeared he had disturbed Roger. One could never go wrong with that.

"Is there anything else?" Matt nodded to the elder's question.

"I need more cigarettes too. I can only use chocolate so much before I need an actual cigarette." Roger's nose wrinkled a little at the thought of actually feeding his addiction but nodded all the same.

"Is that all?" Roger asked hesitantly. Matt wondered what the man would say if he said he wanted some nice leather pants. With that thought in his head Matt shook his head 'no' and stood. He didn't wait for Roger to tell him to go, he just left.

Knowing this place, everything would arrive within a few days. Perhaps even by tomorrow.

Mello was waiting for him outside of the dinning hall, to the left of the rankings, when he exited Roger's office. His gaze was questioning but Matt merely shrugged.

"What the hell! Were you able to get it?" Matt let loose a small laugh at Mello's behavior. How good was this chocolate?

"Yeah. And more cigarettes."

Mello frowned at the last part but didn't comment on it.

"Let's just go eat." Matt nodded to Mello but stopped him just before they entered. Mello looked back at him irritably.

"You know Mello..." he trailed off, he wasn't exactly sure why he was doing this. "The deal still stands for the upcoming week." Matt saw something flash across Mello's icy gaze for a moment before a feral grin stretched its way across his face.

"You're going to come to regret that. I wonder how you will explain eating that much chocolate in such a short time."

Matt smirked. "I'll say the same thing I did today. It curbs my craving for cigarettes." Mello blinked for a moment before laughing.

"He actually believed that?!" Mello asked while they walked into the dining hall.

"Not at all. But he can't prove anything." everyone was staring and Matt speculated it was because Mello wasn't growling and snarling at his loss to Near again. The fact that he was smiling, actually grinning from ear to ear, unsettled them.

Matt hoped that he could continue to make Mello this... well, mellow. Mello had his goal, and now Matt had his own.

Funny thing was, Matt hadn't even thought of how that might affect his mission.

**-End **_**One**_**-**

**AN**: Yay for part 2!

And Green & Blacks is a real brand of chocolate. And it is fucking expensive. Like $4 to $5 a BAR. One bar! I_ love_ it, but damn I can never get it. (I actually heard of this brand from another DN fic a long time ago, heh.)

**Special thanks to reviewers: **ToushiroHitsugayaROX, charlotte & lily, Sweetheart5793, Living in a fantasy, snappygirl, foreverunloved, Amaya-Ai, HoshiYoshix3, Enjy, Zena Silverwing, Lellozawa, Sugarsuicide, Mezzanotte Nera

_REVIEW PLEASE!_


	10. Chapter 8: Conversation

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN:** Oh My Gawd! Plot actually starts appearing in this chapter! It only took 7 f'n chapters! And everyone see's how long this fic is, right? I haven't even gotten through a third of it! Though some parts may write quicker than others....

And this is an early b-day gift for Mello, since I didn't want to make anyone wait longer for this, and I dont actually get around to Mello's b-day in here until chapter 11... hehe. Happy last official b-day! T-T

**Suggested Listening**: Distracted **by** KSM (Hahaha this soooooo fits for poor Matt! Seriously...)

**Chapter Eight**: _Conversation _

Matt walked down the hallway with his eyes glued to the game, though his thoughts had strayed slightly. He had been summoned to Roger's office, for some reason or another. It was either about his latest set of requested items having arrived, or it was about Mello.

Roger, even after four months, still seemed certain that Matt would want to change rooms. It was almost amusing, if it weren't for the annoying habit of the man calling when he was trying to look over surveillance feeds.

His lips twitched slightly. Four months. Matt had been undercover at Wammys for four whole months. And yet, strangely it felt longer; but in a good way.

Mainly, it was because of Mello. He kept things interesting. He was Matt's best _friend_. Though Matt was still trying to get used to it.

Despite their hectic first week together, they had just _clicked_. Matt was able to handle Mello's almost bi-polar mood swings and chocolate addiction just as Mello didn't mind the long silences and sarcastic remarks and his games.

Matt had found himself enjoying the mission far more than he knew he should have. After all, he was there about L, not for himself. Though he tried not to think too much on that, because once he got the required information he was supposed to leave. Recently when he thought about that, he would feel an odd twinge in his chest; distinctly unpleasant.

He couldn't figure it out. And that bothered him.

Matt didn't bother to knock on the door as Roger was expecting him. Rdger had appeared to be talking to himself, as no one else was in the room with him, except for the fact that an electronic sounding voice was speaking from somewhere.

Matt eyed the second computer on Roger's desk warily.

"Ah, there you are Matt." Roger nodded approvingly though he had a sort of worried look about him.

"I will leave take my leave now..." Roger fumbled slightly as he turned the laptop around so that the screen faced Matt, who was now seated before the desk. There was a single, solitary black letter in the middle of a white background.

L.

Everything was silent for a moment as Roger quickly exited his office and shut the door. Matt was surprised, to say the least. Though he didn't show it outwardly.

"Hello Matt, I suppose there is no need to introduce myself. I would like to ask you a few questions." Matt nodded, not really knowing what, if anything, to say to L.

"Good. First, how are you adjusting to Wammys? Roger said that the first week or so you were rather reluctant to speak to anyone." Matt sat silently for just a moment before replying.

"I'm fine here. And there was no reason to talk. I was... observing." Matt found no real reason to lie, if L knew about his true reasons for being at Wammys he would have already been arrested and interrogated for information.

"I am curious, what did you gain from your observations?" he doubted that L was truly curious but L had caught him in a good mood so he wouldn't just give a one word answer.

"Understanding, habits, personalities. Everything." L made a small noise, a hum like sound, of understanding.

It was true that Matt had gained a lot, and the more important things were not even from the surveillance but from his own personal observations. Though the downside was that his silence had seemed to interest Near so he had his own personal albino stalker sometimes.

He doubted anyone other than perhaps Mello could see that.

"And about the classes. How are they for you?" L's voice sounded almost calculating, though it was hard to tell from the voice distortion.

"Moderately hard, but rather boring."

"From what I gather about you, if you tried harder in your studies you may perhaps reach the rank of second or even first. So why are you consistently third, with a score that hardly fluctuates?"

Matt smiled. He should have known that L would see what he had been doing. The answer to L's question was easy, and he didn't even have to think on it.

"Because I don't want to become L." though as he said that Matt also realized something, with some small amount of shock, that it wasn't_ quite_ as simple as that anymore.

He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before; he only spent most of his waking moments around the blonde. He didn't want to be L because Mello _did_.

"Hmm, that is quite interesting." L commented. Matt wasn't sure what was so interesting about it. Well, besides him not wanting to be L. As it seemed everyone there wanted to. Matt would have called it strange, not interesting.

"One last thing. Every other person to room with Mello has requested a change of rooms, and yet you still have not. Why?" Matt could almost see L cock his head to the side in question.

"I retaliated." Matt left it at that. And it seemed to be enough for L as well.

"Thank you for your time. Please let Roger know that I wish to speak with him." Matt nodded and stood, though he did take one last glance at the monitor, before he left.

Roger stood a few feet away from the door, and Matt wondered if he'd been listening in. "L wants to speak with you." It seemed to cut off whatever Roger had planned on saying to him, as the man hurried back into his office.

Matt would definitely have to listen to the audio from before and after his little conversation with L. He had a feeling that L's last question had been more of Roger's idea rather than L's. Roger seemed more concerned with that sort of thing than a detective of L's caliber would.

He sighed; he wanted a smoke but knew that if he stayed away much longer Mello would question the reason for the visit much more than usual. He would pry. And then Matt would have to decide whether to outright lie to the blonde, which Mello would undoubtedly pick up on, or tell him the truth.

Neither option was appealing. It was a toss up as to which would have the worse reaction.

When Matt walked into their room he spied Mello quietly studying while he sat on his bed. He only had the one textbook and knew that Mello would probably go through another two that night.

On Matt's third week at Wammys Mello had gone back to his usual study habits and ended up two points behind his previous weekly score, though he'd still been second. From then on Mello had started to add in more rest periods instead of studying all hours of the day.

His score hadn't gone up dramatically, thought it was up by a good seven points.

To Matt, it was proof that the blonde had been overworking his mind and not just his body. To Mello, it was just small steps towards his goal of beating Near and obtaining the title of L. As well as a way to get his preferred brand of chocolate.

"What did he want this time?" Mello asked without having glanced up. Matt pulled his PSP free of his pocket and sat on the edge of the bed as he hunched foreword.

"Same as usual. If you're worried about the chocolate I doubt it will take much longer to come in. I just want my damn cigarettes." he placed one in his mouth as he said this, and grinned at the glare Mello sent his way.

Mello hated that he smoked. Matt didn't particularly care.

"I don't complain about your chocolate." he commented while he began to play a strategy game. He really should start to request what games he wanted, Roger seemed to pick the most boring ones ever created.

"My chocolate won't give me lung cancer and it doesn't smell horrid." Mello scoffed.

"True, but my cigarettes wont make me fat or give me diabetes." it was becoming a familiar argument between the two, and if Matt cared to let it, it could get rather heated.

"I'm not fat!" and as usual Mello only heard the parts he wanted to.

"Really, didn't you have to buy new leather pants recently?" Mello snarled and Matt ducked the textbook that was sent his way, again a rather familiar thing between them.

"Mello!" they both looked up as their door swung open and two boys stood in the entryway.

"We're going to be playing football, are you coming?" Mello glanced at his textbook for a second before he stood up.

"Sure." it was one of the few times Matt had seen Mello agree to do something 'normal' rather than study or hang around their room.

"Meet us outside; we're going to get a few more guys to join." Mello waved them off before he snatched a chocolate bar from his desk and turned to Matt.

"You're welcome to join us you know." Matt looked up from his game and scoffed making Mello's eye twitch just the slightest bit; his expression caught somewhere between amused and irritated.

"Me? Going outside for something other than a cigarette? Mello, please tell me what is wrong with that."

Mello rolled his eyes.

"Fine, become as pale as that little freak Near. And don't smoke in the room just because I'm gone." Mello warned. Matt didn't bother to hide his smirk. He knew he'd been caught.

"I lit it by the window." Matt said. Mello grabbed another bar off his desk and sighed.

"But the room still reeks of smoke, just don't do it." there was an unspoken 'please' tacked on the end that made Matt nod.

Mello's lip twitched upwards as he walked from the room, or more like ran. That had been his 'thank you.' Matt had to wonder why it was so easy to read the blonde now. He'd only known him for such a short time, and it seemed like he was able to understand more about him than those who'd known him for years.

It was strange.

Matt saved his current game before he turned the PSP off; now that Mello wasn't in the room with him he had the opportunity to listen to the audio from Roger's office. He grabbed the laptop and settled himself on his bed, facing the door, and pulled up the desired files.

He skimmed until the part where Wammy entered Roger's office and dropped off the laptop before leaving, saying that he had business to take care of. Matt listened through Roger and L's entire conversation.

Basically L had only called because Matt had successfully stayed third for four months. He had apparently done the same for Mello and Near when they reached their positions. Matt had also been correct in his assumption that it was Roger who brought up the subject of Matt staying as Mello's roommate.

He skipped over his conversation with L, as he obviously knew what was said in it, and went straight to when Roger entered the room. He listened intently, not really expecting much of anything.

Nothing about their conversation was mentioned and Matt couldn't help but wonder at that; it wasn't as though anything important had been said. And Roger had obviously wanted to know.

The only thing of interest was when L stated 'that Watari was finishing with the preparations'; for what though Matt didn't know. In all of the other audio feeds from that office nothing of the sort was ever discussed.

Either L believed there was a chance of being overheard or he was truly just paranoid.

The entire thing left him with more questions than answers.

He sat in silence, eyes locked on the screen, before his fingers began to move at a rapid pace across the keyboard. He would be in a rather large amount of trouble if he was caught doing this, and it really was not something he should be doing, but for some inexplicable reason it felt right.

He deleted all of the audio and video concerning L. It was the only time he had caught anything on his techs about L. And he had deleted it.

Matt sighed heavily as he tampered with the files and made them loop so that the missing pieces could not be noticed. Since he had done that there was no need to mention it in either the report or when he checked back in.

Which was supposed to be sometime in the next seven hours. He was almost running late that week.

Matt pulled on his headphones and rummaged around under the edge of his bed to find his wireless microphone; he also took out a small box and turned it on. In his first call all those weeks ago, he'd forgotten all about it, which was really not something that should have happened.

Thankfully it hadn't led to a breach in security, though he hadn't exactly followed that all too well at the moment...

He minimized all other running programs and pushed 'call' when it popped up mid-screen. One would think that it would instantly connect instead of acting like dial-up internet.

And when it was finally connected Matt was rather displeased with who was on the other end.

"Just when we were beginning to wonder if you would call in. Nice of you to grace us with your presence." came the voice of one of Matt's least favorite people.

"I'm sure you are secretly riveted." he commented dryly as he stuck a cigarette in his mouth. He momentarily pondered whether or not he should just keep one in his mouth at all times, as it always seemed he was sticking one in.

Takada looked rather put off; it was enough to cause Matt to smirk.

"I assume that you have everything ready? Or did you call once again unprepared?" Takada's voice was calm, superior like, and it grated on Matt's nerves just a little. The more contact he had with her, the less he liked her.

Kind of like Roger actually.

"Yup, now if you will just click the button on the bottom of the screen everything will be sent to you. Just like last time." Matt watched as Takada's eyes narrowed in irritation though she did as suggested only for her eyes to flicker back at him angrily.

He_ may_ have neglected to actually send anything... really it must have slipped his mind.

"There is no prompt, stop fooling around!" Takada snapped. Matt felt his mouth twitch; she was so easy to rile up.

"You must have missed it, look again." she glanced off screen again and Matt saw the bar pop up on his side to tell him the estimated time that remained before the file was sent.

"Your eyes must be going in your old age, maybe you need glasses?" he questioned lightly, and as expected it only infuriated her; though she didn't snap at him this time. If he had to deal with her most of the time when calling in, the least she could do was entertain him properly.

As usual, Takada took her time to look over the report before she got on with the meeting. It was the fifth time he'd had to deal with her.

"Is there anything else you would like to report?" the way Takada asked that made Matt's heart speed up ever so slightly. There was no possible way for her to know what he'd done, and no reason for her to suspect anything for that matter.

"Not really. Unless you want me to tell you what I do before breakfast every morning?" Takada got a rather scandalized look to her face, though Matt really had only thought of his pre-breakfast cigarette.

"That won't be necessary. You really need to get your act together. We should already have at least some sort of information and yet everything you have to report is useless. It doesn't appear that you are doing everything you could be to get this mission completed, not like I would be if it were my assignment." Takada said while her cold professional eyes bore into him through the computer.

It didn't intimidate Matt in the least. If that was the best she could do, while sounding like an envious schoolgirl, then Light hadn't taught her very well.

"But it's not _your_ mission. Light chose me because he knew you couldn't handle it. That and you're too old." Matt smirked at Takada's gasp though he was already bored of her.

"Well, I think this concludes this weeks torture session, don't you?" he didn't wait for her to confirm and instead terminated the transmission.

"Well that went well." he mumbled as he yanked the headphones off and putt away the small box and the wireless microphone. He sighed and flopped backwards on the bed.

Did Takada suspect something? Or was it just her usual paranoia concerning his performance? It was a toss up, if she told Light, whether or not he would take her seriously. It was known by mostly everyone that the two of them didn't get along, at all, so her concerns may just be brushed aside.

However if they weren't, what exactly would happen then? Light couldn't just send another agent to watch him. It was lucky enough that he'd gotten into Wammys, never mind another agent.

So what would Light do, call him back to HQ? No, his boss wanted information too badly to do that. Was there a way for Light to monitor him using his own systems?

Matt's eyes widened momentarily.

It was more than possible. Light knew all of his pass codes in case of an emergency or of a breach. Though Light didn't like to use them since he had so many firewalls and security protocols to go through.

Matt couldn't chance it, not with what he'd just done.

The laptop was brought out of standby and he immediately set to work on deleting all history of his transgression, as well as adding extra protection to his system that would make it nearly impossible for Light to break through a small area. He couldn't have a large protected area, as it would be a dead giveaway that he had something to hide.

With that done Matt lay on his side and pulled out his PSP. He'd rather smoke, but it was a rather sunny day out for a change. And him plus bright sunlight didn't mix very well. At least not without sun block.

Which he had none of.

So he settled for the rather boring game he'd been playing earlier. He really did need to request his own games....

A while later, Matt didn't know how long exactly, the heavy sound of footsteps rushed down the hallway and the door was flung open; though it didn't startle him.

Mello strode in sweaty, shirtless and his hair in disarray.

Matt felt is mouth go dry and he couldn't help but stare at Mello, who was still breathless, as he raced around his side of the room to grab clean clothing. Matt could see the muscles move beneath the lightly tanned skin before Mello hurried into the bathroom.

Matt heard the shower being turned on, as well as the sound of the curtain being pulled closed, and hated the way his face heated up at the thought of Mello naked. Naked _and_ in the shower.

He hated having those thoughts. Because he _shouldn't_ be having them about a friend. His best friend. Because he shouldn't be having them about _Mello_. But he couldn't help it.

Why did the blonde have to be so damn perfect?

He had been having thoughts like that for a few weeks and really, it had started when he'd accidently seen Mello naked that first week. Though back then it hadn't really mattered if a random thought like that crossed his mind or not. Mello hadn't been a friend. Just his roommate.

Now it was becoming a problem. A _confusing_ problem.

It wasn't just the thoughts. It was the fact that his heart raced whenever he saw a strip of exposed skin, or when the light hit Mello's face at just the right angle, or when he smiled and his lips would curve ever so slightly, or when he would just _walk_ _in the damn room_.

And it distracted him, at the most inappropriate moments.

Like when he was trying to sleep and he could hear the blonde's gentle breathing. Or even when he went over video feeds and he would see something that reminded him of Mello; work was practically impossible after that.

Matt just didn't understand it.

A small beep made him glance down at the PSP, as his eyes had lingered on the closed door. His character had died. He sighed heavily and tossed the handheld away from him.

"That boring?"

Matt's eyes flickered back to the bathroom and to Mello who now stood in the doorway. He leaned against the doorframe, his hair slightly damp and clinging to his face in a way that made Matt start to stare.

Matt held in a groan and had to look away.

"If you didn't procrastinate so much you would already have your type of games."

Matt could hear when Mello deposited his clothes in the hamper and when he walked over to his desk. Why couldn't Mello use a blow dryer like most normal people?

Why couldn't _he_ be like most normal people, just for once, and not have disturbing thoughts about his best friend?

"You're in a rare mood today, when was the last time you had a smoke?" the blonde asked. Matt let out a half laugh. He probably needed a cigarette. And with his thoughts betraying him, probably needed more than one.

"Sometime before lunch." he answered. And that really was the last time he remembered having one. He should have just smoked in the room while Mello was gone...

"Go have one before you keel over. I'd prefer not to share my room with a corpse." Mello stared at him; Matt could feel it, though he didn't meet his gaze. Mello's team must have won if he had suggested Matt go and have one of his 'cancer sticks' as Mello liked to call them.

"I'll just wait until after dinner. It's always better on a full stomach." he mumbled.

"Sounds more like you're talking about sex." Mello commented with amusement laced in his voice. Matt couldn't help but look at him, eyebrow raised in question. Really, Mello wasn't helping his thought process _at all_.

Mello smirked and shrugged a shoulder before he hopped onto his bed with a textbook in hand.

Did Mello notice when he stared at him? Was that the reason for the random comment? It was possible… he wasn't exactly subtle about it, mainly because he didn't notice he was doing it half the time**. **

Matt had the sudden urge to scream or pull his hair in pure frustration. This was why he didn't get close to people, things _always_ got complicated. Well besides the fact that everyone else he knew were rather unsociable just like him.

Or they were like Light.

Neither were good choices.

Matt closed his eyes, still lying down, and idly played with the fallen PSP. How had things turned on him so quickly the in span of a few hours? Maybe he could just blame it on L... Everything _did _start because of him.

Though that did bring forth a question he had wondered for some time.

"Mello, have you ever met L?" the blonde looked up at his question and to Matt's surprise there was anger and frustration in his eyes.

"No! I was supposed to but I got sick! That bastard Near got to see him though..." Mello trailed off, though Matt could still make out words like 'unfair' 'albino' and 'murder'.

"If you've never met him, why are you so determined to be him?" Matt couldn't seem to stop the question even though it felt like he was treading on thin ice with it. Mello immediately stilled.

A slightly haunted look passed over Mello's face, but only for a moment. "I have been here for almost as long as I can remember... I can't recall my parents faces, or their voices but I do remember how they died. It was L who took me away from the hospital even though I wasn't awake for it. I owe him _everything_."

Matt felt a lump begin to form in his throat.

Not all of his actions may have been purely for the benefit of the children, such as training them to find his successor, but L was...

Not someone Matt wanted harm to come to. If not for L, how many of the orphans would have had worse things happen to them? What would have happened to Mello had L not interfeered?

Just what would happen to L once Light got his info, because Matt had no doubt now that he would be able to get it.

Would Light capture him, torture him, or even kill him? What would happen to those who resided at Wammys? What would Happen to... to Mello...?

Matt began to wonder if those were the thoughts he should focus on rather than how to get info on L.

Matt had always respected Light, Kira, in a way. He was thankful to Light for getting him off the streets. But... he had never been wholly comfortable with the things the brunette genius did, or had him do.

He'd never had a reason, never _cared_, to question things. But now... now Matt had Mello. His best _friend_. And L. And Wammys. Those people weren't doing anything sketchy at all. Nothing to warrant Light's obsession, other than the mystery of L's identity.

Well L might be, but not the sketchy kind of things 'Kira' had been and was currently doing. None of them deserved what might happen to them if he succeeded in his mission.

He wasn't even sure if he should...

"Matt?" Matt blinked and looked up. "You spaced out for a moment..." Though Mello had rolled his eyes, there had been some worry in them. Could Matt really put him in danger...?

"You don't have to answer, but... what happened for you to come here?"

Matt suddenly felt completely uncomfortable. His story was a lie. A complete _lie._ But he couldn't exactly tell Mello his real story. At least not all of it.

Mello looked ready to speak again and Matt closed his eyes.

"My father used to smack me around a bit. Me and my mother. He finally lost it one night and killed her, tried to kill me too. I obviously didn't die. Wammy found me not too long after." Mello's eyes had widened and Matt felt rater horrible for telling him that.

Though it was a bit closer to the actual truth than even Light knew. Well, he was almost certain Light didn't know much about him. Light had found him when he had been living on the streets, and Matt was almost certain that he'd deleted all of his records before then.

He had never been the kind of child people would really remember anyway. He had always preferred his own company to that of others.

"Is that why you... never liked to be touched by anyone?" Mello's voice was hesitant, almost reluctant. Like he was curious and despite not wanting to make Matt feel bad, simply couldn't contain himself.

"Yes." but not for the reason you're thinking, Matt added silently.

Matt almost couldn't hold in a smirk. It wasn't a funny situation in the least, far too close to his own memories, but he had never been good at emotions like sorrow.

He rather preferred to get over things quickly, or hide them with a smile or a smirk, burry them until it didn't connect to him anymore. He was naturally easy going. He just didn't like to deal with the darker emotions.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up." Mello practically whispered, and Matt felt a twinge of guilt.

"I started it. Besides, it's over and done with. It's not something I really dwell too much on. I don't have the motivation." Matt shrugged and picked the handheld off the bed to play, but not before Mello let out a small snort.

Matt was never all that great at diffusing a tense situation, but he'd have to say he did rather well that time.

He didn't have all the answers, and everything seemed to be piling up at the moment, but he did know that a decision would have to be reached.

And soon.

**-End **_**Conversation**_**-**

**AN:** *falls over* I killed my hands again writing this fic. I swear, its like once a fic I end up writing too much and mess up my hands/fingers. Its f'd up. (probably doesn't help that I don't wait for them ho heal, I type through the pain! *shrugs*)

So how was this?

Plot strikes... you all like plot right?

But recently I have made some edits to my plot... buwhahahaha! You will all thank me. Hehehe.

So if you want the next chapter... in less than a week, review!

**Special thanks to reviewers: **Living in a fantasy, snappygirl, Amaya-Ai, foreverunloved, cutmeawayMYPENMYHAND, Mezzanotte Nera, RainbowJapan, IndifferenceToSociety, Sweetheart5793, sugarsuicide, Kyler Conroy, Zena Silverwing, Enjy

Review?


	11. Chapter 9: Mihael

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note... if I did... well let's just say the rating would be higher... hehe.

**AN**: Yay its not late (considering I planned to have this out around wed or thurs, its not late lol)

This chapter... *sigh* it gave me some trouble, but not as much as others. And you will see Matt struggling with his emotions in this one, well, the start of it. Hehe. (and as usual my beta is M.I.A… but has good reasons for it)

**Suggested Listening**: Friend or Foe **by** t.A.t.U**;** Another Way In **by** The Rosebuds (hard to find, try either or )

**Chapter Nine**: _Mihael _

Matt glanced up from the laptop, though not long enough to gain Mello's attention.

He had no idea what he was supposed to do. Mello's had begun to question what he was doing. He had slipped up, or was the blonde was just too damn observant. Or… worried?

Mello seemed to pay more attention to him with each passing day, and not in a good way. His gaze lingered longer and seemed to question his every move when he was at or near his laptop, or when he had been gone longer then stated.

Mello increasingly more curious. Even to the point of outright asking him what he was doing, what was so interesting to him, and even tried to lean over the top of the laptop and see.

Today's excuse had been pinball.

The look Mello had given him clearly stated he wasn't believed one bit.

Matt wondered if he could continue to lie to Mello, because he could obviously tell. He could see the brief flickers of hurt, as well as the suspicion, in Mello's eyes every time he was forced to lie to him.

And Matt hated it. So. Damn. Much.

Should he... should he tell Mello everything? _Could_ he tell him? About the mission, about Kira, about _everything_? Would Mello even let him finish before he stormed off...? His whole life did seem like something out of a crappy mystery novel or soap opera.

Matt sighed softly and ran gloved fingers through his hair.

Mello was all he seemed to think about. No one had affected him so completely _ever_. And it seemed his mission, and all the secrets that came with it, had begun to grate on their friendship.

Matt was frustrated. And he knew that decisions born of frustration were usually bad ones. He glanced over at Mello again, who was studiously ignoring him for the moment, and _knew _that he couldn't tell him.

Even if it would make some things easier.

Matt suddenly felt angry at himself for even thinking of doing something as stupid as that, just for the sake of a friendship. It was bad enough he'd deleted stuff, even _lied_ about things, but to even think of exposing the mission...

But the mission was wrong... wasn't it?

What _was_ the right thing to do?

"I'm going for a smoke." he needed to get away. Clear his head, and think. And he couldn't do that around Mello, not with the atmosphere between them so damn tense. Mello looked up quickly and appeared ready to say something but Matt was smart enough to leave before he could.

Matt was... aggravated. It was in both their best interests for him to sort things out before something unpleasant was said. Something Matt would probably regret later.

The air outside was cold, the early days of December, much colder than before. They had already had a small snowfall, though it was apparently warmer than usual.

His orange covered eyes stared blankly, unseeing, across the yard. He took a long drag and held it in until his throat burned before he exhaled. His eyes flickered to the soft cloud of smoke as it floated and drifted away into the air.

He couldn't tell Mello. That much was certain. If it were the secrets that slowly eroded their friendship, telling Mello would _kill_ it. Matt just wouldn't jeopardize that on the off chance Mello would listen to reason for once.

Matt left the cigarette pressed between his lips and hung his head.

What was he supposed to do...? He couldn't tell Roger, that was just a stupid idea if he couldn't even tell Mello...

Maybe it was best just to let it be and... see how things played out on their own?

He didn't really see any other options.

He felt cornered, trapped, and he disliked it immensely.

He didn't even feel like smoking anymore at the moment. He stubbed it out on the side of the building and tossed the crushed butt out onto the lawn. He'd probably get chewed out by Roger if it was found but at the moment that was he least of his worries.

Matt took his time in getting back to the room and wished he'd taken a little longer. Mello was still in the same position on the bed, except now he fiddled awkwardly with a bar of chocolate.

Matt had no idea how to fix the prevailing weirdness at the moment, so instead he went back to the laptop. It was time to finally hack Wammys, something he was supposed to have done within his first month there.

He had kept putting it off, even going so far as to tell Light that the system was encrypted with things he'd never seen before and that it was taking much longer than he'd expected to crack it. In short, he'd been lying to his boss for months.

For no real reason either...

In reality Wammys was ridiculously easy for Matt to hack into. If that was L's best system then he had no idea how he'd managed to stay faceless for so long. Then again, not everyone was as good when it came to computers as he was.

Matt didn't have anything specific in mind to look for. He just wandered... there was so much information on there. There was a file, it seemed, for every child at Wammys. Nothing on L though. At least there didn't appear to be from the quick once over he did of the file names.

Something, however, did interest him.

A folder with the title of 'successors'. Matt gazed curiously at the unassuming folder for a second before he clicked on it. Inside there were three other folders, each with a name. Matt, Mello and Near.

He clicked on his own folder first, and found it mostly filled with the garbage Light had fabricated for him. Though there did appear to be notes written by someone else; observations perhaps? He decided to look at that later, there was one folder he really wanted to look into.

Mello's.

His heart beat faster in his chest; what he was doing having finally caught up with him. Mello, whose real name and birth date were in that folder, was in the same room with him and hardly seven feet away.

So with a small form of excitement Matt opened the folder. Mihael Keehl, born December 13th. Matt found that he rather liked that name, Mihael.

It was certainly better than his own. He found that _Matt _suited him much better than Mail ever had.

Then it clicked. December 13th, that was only two day's away! And Mello hadn't ever said anything about it. He would never have known....

Matt knew that he would have to work quickly if he wanted to get Mello something by his birthday; as in have to talk to Roger before tomorrow when classes began again. It wasn't like he didn't have money, being one of L's successors had its perks after all, but would Roger allow him to spend some of it?

That man was so damn irritating at times...

Out of curiosity Matt opened Near's folder and looked it over quickly. Nate River was the albino's name. Somehow it suited the boy, though it was still an odd combination.

As he exited out of the folder Matt came to a decision. A rather important one.

Light could never get his hands on any of that information. None of it. So he worked a virus into the system that would corrupt and destroy everything should anyone attempt to hack into it. Just like he had. Though Matt would still be able to, as he knew what too look for and what not to set off.

Matt knew that he was hiding things that Light had _specifically_ requested he find. But it was different now that he knew these people. Lived with them, was _friends_ with them. He wasn't exactly sure where that left him mission wise.

He knew he shouldn't care about Mello or any of those at Wammys, that the mission _should _be the only thing in his thoughts. But Matt was afraid he'd already crossed over that line so far that he couldn't go back.

That the mission just _didn't_ matter anymore.

He shoved those thoughts away quickly. It was dangerous to think things like that. Even more dangerous than hiding vital information....

He knew that he only clung to the one thing he was sure of, or had been sure of, but with his thoughts taking him in every direction... the mission _was _the only thing that made sense.

It was a Sunday, a fact for which Matt was thankful for; otherwise he wouldn't have been able to spend so much time inside Wammys system. During the week he had a bit more than going over surveillance to deal with. But at the moment he had something more to do.

He logged out of Wammys, shut his laptop, and without a word to Mello left to find Roger.

Thankfully the man was highly predictable, unless something went wrong and altered his actions accordingly, and as usual was in his office at that time of day. Matt may not have liked having to talk to him, but for a situation like that he had to remind himself to remain civil.

As in not avidly trying to piss the man off. Which was generally rather fun.

He didn't bother to knock on the door as it was already open, like it usually was unless a meeting was going on, and walked in. Roger looked up from a stack of papers with a poorly disguised frown.

Why did he have to be nice to this man again? Oh yes, Mello.

"Good evening Matt, is there something I can do for you?" Roger had asked as he laid down his pen and steepled his hands, and watched patiently as Matt seated himself.

"Actually, yes. I need to buy a leather jacket." the quicker he got Roger to agree the quicker he could leave. Matt wasn't sure why he hadn't immediately thought of the jacket when he'd learned Mello's birthday was so close.

The blonde had complained, rather loudly, about a tear in his old jacket just over a week ago. Mello had explained that Roger probably wouldn't let him get a new one unless it was for Christmas, even if though he was willing to pay for it, saying that something like that was better left as a gift.

"And before you ask, it's not for me." Matt added as an afterthought. Roger's gaze took on some curiosity, though it should have been rather obvious as to whom it was for. At least obvious by Matt's standards.

"For Mello I presume?" Roger said after a moment. Matt nodded slowly, it seemed he was going to have to explain why he was requesting it and not Mello. Though Matt knew Roger wouldn't even think of allowing Mello to get it. He really did have a vendetta against the blonde, or something of that nature.

"It's for his birthday." Matt supplied before Roger had the chance to speak again. Roger's eyes widened slightly. "It is that time of year again, isn't it?" Matt ignored the rhetorical question and remained silent.

"I assume that you already know that Wammys will not cater to every wish and desire-"

Matt rolled his eyes and cut the man off mid speech. "I am one of L's successors, I believe I have more than enough money lying around to buy a jacket."

"Are you certain you want to waste your money on something like that?" Roger questioned with a raised eyebrow. Matt was uncertain, at that point, whether the old man was talking about Mello or the jacket. He wouldn't put it passed the Roger to say something of the sort about Mello...

It left Matt feeling rather hostile towards him.

"I'm sure that I have more than enough money floating around that I could buy hundreds of jackets. I only need one, however." Matt still attempted to be civil, by his standards at least, though he had begun to edge the line into sarcasm.

"Very well. Do you have anything specific in mind?" Roger sighed, apparently having realized that he would have been sitting there a while had he not just agreed. Because Matt _would_ have argued with the man until he gave in.

"Can I use your laptop?" Roger merely sighed again and pushed the machine towards him. Matt already knew the website to order from, and pulled up an almost exact copy of Mello's ruined jacket.

Matt blinked at the cost. Huh, his shit was _expensive_.

He pushed the laptop back to Roger and almost laughed at the mans expression. "This one? Are you certain?" Matt nodded to Roger's question and watched the man shake his head as he placed the order.

"It will be here on the thirteenth. As for your other items, they will be here sometime tomorrow. There was a mix up in the shipping and they were lost for a little while. Is that all you needed?" Roger's tone was hopeful and Matt almost told him no.

"At least until I need to shop for Christmas." Matt smiled at Roger, who frowned. Matt took that as his cue to leave. Though now that Matt thought on it, he really had no idea what to do for Christmas.

He could always just get Mello a ton of his favorite chocolate. The blonde couldn't seem to get enough of it, so Matt couldn't really go wrong there. And Mello was on a sort of chocolate restriction, mainly because he only wanted to eat the expensive stuff now.

He had at least a week before he really needed to think more on that subject. Let him get through Mello's birthday first.

Matt knew that dinner was practically ready to start, ten minutes at most, and yet he was still headed back to their room. He wasn't sure why he didn't just head there on his own as he and Mello hadn't really spoken since that morning.

Mello was still sat on the edge of his bed when he walked in; he didn't even glance at him. Somehow Matt felt he should have expected that...

"I'm sorry..." Mello's face was turned away and his voice low. Matt was rather... stunned. Never once, in the four months that he'd known him, had he _ever _heard Mello apologize. For _anything_.

At all.

"Then I am too." it hadn't been Mello's fault really. Matt was the one with all the secrets. Mello, it seemed, was just as bothered by their silence as Matt was. It wouldn't fix the main issue, which Matt wasn't sure was fixable, but it was a start. And it would set them at ease at least for that night.

The only thing that would 'fix' it would be for Matt to come clean about everything. That might also be the one thing to ruin everything. It all seemed to come back to the mission. And Mello.

Mello who now stood and was headed for the door, as the sounds of other children now came from the hallway which in turn signaled dinner. Though Matt did noticed that Mello had left his chocolate lying abandoned on his bed.

"Don't forget your chocolate, you'll regret it."

Mello smiled at him and Matt felt a fluttery sensation in his stomach, like butterflies. It wasn't... unpleasant. Just, unexpected, and odd.

"Stop daydreaming, I'm hungry." nothing was fixed, but at least for now it seemed back to normal. Matt followed the chocoholic to dinner and they sat with their usual table mate.

Matt did wish that Near would move back to whatever table he had frequented before Matt came to Wammys. Or get sick again. At least then he could eat in peace.

_Snap_

Matt didn't even have to glance up from his meal to know it was Mello eating his chocolate. He smirked into his food. How Mello could eat so much of that stuff and stay so damn skinny he would never know.

He swore Mello did better in the weekly tests just so Matt could get him the expensive chocolate that Roger didn't allow him to have.

"What is Matt so amused about?" Near's soft voice floated across the table and made Matt pause. He must have let his expression slip more than he'd thought. No matter, it wasn't like he ever really answered Near anyway.

"Probably thinking of a way to murder you in your sleep sheep boy." Mello sneered. Matt merely shrugged a shoulder. Let them think what they want, Mello never got it right.

"I do believe Mello is incorrect. As he is about most things." Near stated calmly while he no longer looked at either of them. Mello snarled and stood up quickly. That happened about twice a week. Near goading Mello until he wanted to kill the albino, that is.

Matt gently grasped Mello's wrist and the blonde instantly stilled. His angry features remained though he sighed heavily now. "Come on Matt. I'm done anyway." Mello stalked off leaving Matt behind.

Matt stood and looked down at Near and met his gaze. "One of these days Mello is going to snap. And when that happens, I won't stop him." Near was good at creating problems where Mello was concerned, but Matt wondered just how good he would be at fixing them.

Matt left Near seated there by himself, and after a quick smoke, joined Mello in their room.

"I should have known you would go and smoke. That's so damn unhealthily." Mello muttered as he exited the bathroom in a t-shirt and boxers. At least he wore a shirt that time...

Mello never went to bed that early unless he was tired, so Matt guessed he was going to either read a novel or study. Though he would undoubtedly be under the covers. It was rather cool in the room.

Matt followed suit and changed into his own night clothes and hurried under the covers, already having started to shiver. Did Roger _ever _turn the heat on there?

They hadn't said another word to each other, since before dinner, and yet the silence that was now cast over the room wasn't uncomfortable. Enjoyable even.

Matt was mostly covered by his blankets, lying on his stomach, with his arms propped on his pillow to play the PSP. Only his head stuck out; and even then only the smallest amount. It _was_ cold.

Matt had never been one to enjoy extremes of either weather, preferring instead to stay in moderate climates. Or inside where you controlled the climate. So it wasn't a surprise when he began to feel drowsy despite the early hour.

Matt's eyes fluttered and he vaguely noticed his fingers had stopped moving across the PSP buttons. He was comfortable, and warm. It made him tired and seemed to suck all the energy from his body.

He was thankful he'd already turned his light off, because he knew he wouldn't be able to turn it off at the moment.

His eyes closed completely and the soft turning of pages lulled him to sleep.

-

_Matt was pushed gently to the bed and he gazed up at his attacker with an amused air about him. Slim fingers tugged his goggles down so that they hung loosely around his neck. Green eyes widened as a hand shoved its way into his jeans; rubbing harshly against his growing erection._

_His breath hitched and Matt was met with laughter. "Not so calm now, are you?" the soft_ pop_ of the button being undone seemed to echo in his ears. Whatever he'd been expecting, it wasn't this. _

_As Mello's mouth engulfed his erection and he couldn't help the moan that escaped his now parted lips. _

_The blonde's mouth was hot, wet and absolutely exquisite. Matt bit his lip to silence himself as Mello's gently sucks became fiercer._

_And oh god, his tongue! _

_Cold fingers wrapped themselves around the base, giving a gentle squeeze, before they slid up and back down in agonizingly slow motions. Matt was breathing harshly now, eyes half lidded, as Mello took more of him into his mouth._

_Matt's fingers were tangled in the blonde's hair, urging him on; pulling, tugging and gripping fistfuls of the silky hair tightly. "M- oh!"_

_Mello had all of him in his mouth now, head bobbing up and down, and Matt just couldn't hold out any longer. He moaned loudly as he came and Mello didn't move away until he was completely spent. _

_Mello was fucking amazing, though it was so much more than that._

_Matt leaned foreword and captured the blonde's lips in a heated kiss; teeth and tongue clashing until Mello pulled away, breathless. _

"_Mihael" he breathed; "I love you." Matt smiled warmly at the blonde who smirked happily in return._

-

Matt's eyes shot open and he laid there for a full minute while he tried to steady his breathing. Only once he was fully awake, and his mind in working order, was he able to recall what he'd been dreaming about...

"Oh Fuck." he swore. And what was worse, he noticed the way Mello stared oddly at him from across the room.

**-End **_**Mihael**_**-**

**AN:** I bet none of you saw that coming (*cough*) am I right?

oh...... I so loved ending it here. Hahaha poor Matt. Originally I didn't have anything like this planned, the dream thing and all, but it just kind of worked its way in.

How was it?

Fangasm?

Boring?

Review?

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Majora888888, Misha2011, IndifferenceToSociety, Kyler Conroy, lovelyblackheart, Kari Twilight Mist, Zena Silverwing, Living in a fantasy, RainbowJapan, xHanako, cutmeawayMYPENMYHAND

**P.s...** Should Matt have another 'dream'?


	12. Chapter 10: Surprise

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note, hm'kay?

**AN**: Wow, I never thought the fic would be this long by the 10th chapter. It has surpassed all my word expectations so far. Damn. (and I don't even know how long it really is, as I stopped keeping track after chapter 11.)

Its actually kind of fun to edit these chapters, as I am so far ahead I kind of forget the little things that I wrote it. *shrug*

And let me tell you, you will LOVE chapter 14, and probably kill me for 16. ^_^

**Suggested Listening**: When The Sun Hits (Slowdive Cover) **by** The Gathering**; **Addicted **by** Enrique Iglesias (listen to the lyrics, that's what drew me to the song, and some of the lyrics kind of fit Matt)

**Chapter Ten**: _Surprise _

Matt let himself lay there a moment longer and bask in the absolute shock of the dream. He _had_ wanted to know why he was becoming so odd around his friend... and he certainly had an answer now, if his sticky boxers were anything to go by.

And there was absolutely no way he had misunderstood the dream, despite how easy it would have been to claim that...

Matt felt glued to the spot as his eyes locked briefly with Mello's. Had he been talking in his sleep? Or worse, moaning, possibly even the blondes own name? Had Mello _heard_ him?

Judging from the look on Mello's face, he'd certainly heard _something_.

Matt swallowed hard and forced himself from the bed, and quickly grabbed clothes, eager to escape the awkward situation. Made worse by the fact that Mello had been utterly silent the entire time with an almost confused expression.

With his goggles back in place over his eyes, Matt headed to the bathroom with the intent to shower. Though he hesitated when Mello caught his eye, and gave him a rather weak smirk, "Enjoy your dream?"

"Not particularly." he responded flatly. Mello's smirk instantly faded and Matt took the time to shut the bathroom door and lock himself inside. It really wasn't Mello's fault... well not entirely.

He turned the water to hot and stepped under the spray the second his clothing was gone. He grabbed his bar of soap and roughly dragged it across his skin and sighed. He really didn't want to think about... _it_.

Not at all.

In fact Matt wanted nothing more than to deny it.

He rested his head against the cool tile and closed his eyes. If only he could ignore the dream, pretend he couldn't feel every touch, every emotion… but it was impossible. Everything was fresh in his mind, and would probably stay that way for quite some time.

And it wasn't even the dream that was the problem. No, the dream just brought everything to light. Matt realized that he would have come to the same conclusion eventually, even without the dream there to wave around a giant banner.

He was in love with Mello.

It made sense. Horrifyingly, perfect sense.

The way his eyes lingered on the blonde far longer than necessary. The way his heart sped up when he was around him, the butterflies in his stomach. The crazy thoughts concerning the mission... everything that had to do with Mello.

Matt knew what lust felt like, and that wasn't it. But damn if he didn't wish it was. Things would have been so much simpler if it was only lust...

Would he be able to leave, once the mission was over? It had already been hard to think of when he'd still thought of Mello as just a friend. Could he... back out of the mission? Matt clenched his fists at the thought.

That was just idiotic.

Light would murder him for even suggesting that. And once that was done, he'd find some other way to get what he wanted, though nothing Matt thought of would be good for the residents there.

Light already knew the location....

Was that all he thought about, running from his problems? He sighed heavily. Matt hated having to deal with anything complicated, and emotions took the cake in that category. Mello, Mello, Mello. Everything began and ended with _Mello_.

Why did the one person he finally allowed himself to get close to turn into a love interest?

Now completely disinterested in his shower, Matt quickly washed his hair and shut the water off. He'd been in there long enough anyway...

Matt caught a blurred glimpse of himself in the mirror and wiped away some of the steam.

He stared at his reflection for a long moment before he shook his head. There was nothing special about him. He wasn't breathtakingly attractive, having rather average looks in his opinion. He wasn't motivated by hardly anything in life, and his personality was rather skewed in a cynical way.

It didn't matter what he felt for Mello, because the blonde could never feel the same.

He dressed quickly, more than a little irritated with himself, and stepped out of the bathroom to find Mello still in bed. It wasn't that odd considering the coolness of the room. Though the atmosphere between them was once more at odds.

He found that he couldn't look at Mello, not without the dream coming back to the surface. It was hard, now that he knew _why_ he felt so strongly towards him.

"I'm going to see if our stuff has come in." Matt told his roommate. He really hadn't even thought about it until the words had already been spoken. It was a good enough excuse to escape.

"Alright. I'll get ready then; classes start in just under an hour." Mello's voice was soft and had an almost injured quality to it, thought Matt couldn't even begin to guess why. He didn't say anything more and instead left the room and closed the door gently behind him.

He was always the one that messed things up between them, wasn't he?

Matt pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to ward away the oncoming headache. He couldn't tell if it was because of the mornings events or because he needed a cigarette. At least he could remedy one of those problems.

Thankful that he always had his smokes on him, Matt headed outside first. Roger could wait; it wasn't as though he were expected either way. The air outside was neither warm nor cold, and Matt wondered at that.

It was colder inside that it felt outside. "Roger really needs to stop being such a miser and turn the damn heat up." Though Matt had a feeling that once the man did actually turn it on, it would end up being too warm. Perfect if they wanted him completely useless as excessive heat put him straight to sleep.

Just as excessive cold did if he were exposed to it long enough.

He took his time since the weather was good, and lit up a second and even third cigarette, before he turned back inside. It seemed that more people were up finally, as soft sounds floated around from different rooms; the ones awake not wanting to make too much noise just yet.

He knocked once on Roger's door before he entered. The older man looked up from his paper work and looked a little surprised to see him. "I was not expecting you to come here this early." Roger then put his pen down and heaved himself from the chair and walked to a small area beside his desk.

"It came only an hour ago, but everything is in it." Matt took the box with a curt nod and left the room. He never liked being in any of the places that had cameras for too long. For whatever reason, he never felt comfortable on camera.

The box in his arms was heavy and he hoped that this time there was an equal amount of everything. Last time Mello's chocolate had taken up more space so he had one less carton of cigarettes, though the story was still that Matt needed the chocolate to stave off cravings.

And Matt knew that Roger still didn't believe that.

The room was quiet when Matt entered, the bathroom door open and light off, and no Mello in sight. He dumped Mello's chocolate on his bed and put away his cigarettes and set the empty box by the trash bin as it was too big to fit.

He took out his PSP, stuck a cigarette in his mouth, and went to breakfast. He was just the slightest bit miffed that he'd been left behind, despite the fact that everything was awkward just a little while ago.

Matt was aware of the eyes on him, though it probably had more to do with the cigarette than anything else, and ignored it while he took an orange. He really didn't feel up to a full meal at the moment.

Breakfast was...odd.

Mello continually glanced at him, with a blank expression, while he ate his chocolate and Matt pretended not to notice. Despite how obvious it was. Near had, his own version, of a thoughtful expression on his face. Which really was just the slightest curve to his lips and quicker movements when he played with his hair.

At least Near hadn't asked any of his questions yet. However, Matt knew that he would eventually if things remained weird between him and Mello. Which really made him wonder just what, exactly, Mello had heard.

Just when Matt thought things between them had gotten better, his brain had to supply that lovely dream. He picked idly at the orange peals, having quickly eaten, and replaced the unlit cigarette between his lips.

He was going to have an orange flavored cigarette when he finally smoked it. He couldn't decide if that was good or bad. He had never been fond of the flavored ones...

Breakfast had ended with Mello practically sprinting from the room and Near staring at him as if he had all the answers. Which he did. But Near wasn't going to hear them. Ever.

Moring classes were pure hell. Matt was bored, as well as distracted. A horrible combination; witch wasn't at all helped by the fact that Mello was in his classes. He couldn't even begin to concentrate during the lesson; though he knew it wouldn't really be an issue later on as he could easily catch up.

Not even his games provided relief.

He should have taken one of Mello's chocolate bars, it might have provided some form of entertainment, as it couldn't possibly have distracted him any further. Time seemed to go irreparably slow, and he could hear the damn ticking for once, before lunch.

Matt decided, as he walked to the dining hall, that he needed a backup form of entertainment, something that would distract him from being distracted. If there was such a thing.

He sat down at their usual table, with some sort of soup and a pear; because fruit completely goes with soup. Near was already seated there and had begun to stack, what looked like individual creamers, into a pyramid. Mello joined a few minutes later with two sandwiches, though he looked completely irritated.

"Matt what did you think of-" Matt turned to look at the blonde, who had asked him something about one of their lessons. He seemed to have gotten over, or at least decided to not dwell, on whatever he'd heard.

"What?" Matt honestly had no idea what Mello had asked. "Did you even pay attention during the lesson?" Mello asked. At the blank look he received he rolled his eyes and went on about some mistake the teacher had made during literature, and it somehow morphed into a rant about Roger.

Matt was suddenly noticing things he hadn't before, or hadn't allowed himself to, like the way Mello tended to gesture frequently with his hands as he talked. Or the way his eyes lit up and his expressions became more animated during a heated discussion such as now.

He found it utterly absurd that he was only just beginning to notice those things. Though it may have had to do with the fact that he was finally letting his thoughts go down _that _path instead of pushing them away into a dark corner.

It was as though the dream had opened floodgates to everything; had he really not wanted to 'see' this that badly, believed his own lies about why he was so… relaxed around the blonde?

"-and now your ignoring me! Why do I even bother with you?" Mello huffed irritably. "Because I get you your expensive chocolate?" Matt supplied without looking up.

When no reply was given Matt glanced to Mello only to find him looking away, chocolate paused between his lips. He couldn't see the blonde's face but the 'confused' look Near had made him wonder what was going on.

But before he could even attempt to ask, everyone, including Mello, had begun to unseat themselves. "Come on Matt, just because you don't pay attention doesn't mean you should be late." Mello's voice was a touch softer though Matt knew the window of opportunity to ask anything had long passed.

The rest of classes flew by; though Matt did hear mention of a new project, which he was unsure if he actually wanted to complete as it involved research. Mello did say that class grades didn't matter all _that _much...

Matt had no doubt that Mello would make sure he had it completed and turned it in, at any rate.

With nothing left to do for the time being Matt decided to go to the common room; he didn't exactly want to go back to their room just yet. And the common room did have a PS2 hooked up.

The halls were currently crowded with children all leaving their classes which made it hard to maneuver. Surprisingly though, the common room was relatively empty. Save for three people around a chess board, two who played and one who watched, and two girls who occupied the PS2.

Matt sat down in the corner of the room, easily in eye shot of the big screen TV that the game was hooked up to, and watched as they played. The level ended and both girls cheered as they had apparently beaten their high score of 1250.

"Amateurs." he muttered under his breath. He took out a cigarette, as well as his own game, and waited a small while longer. When it became apparent that they would not be leaving anytime soon Matt stood from his seated position on the floor and left.

There really was no point in waiting there any longer. If they hadn't stopped playing yet, they were unlikely to do so in the near future. Instead, Matt headed outside and lit the cigarette that was already in his mouth.

He shivered and rubbed his arms.

Matt had to wonder why he didn't just get a jacket for himself; he'd be able to smoke more without the threat of getting sick like before. But the more he thought on it, the quicker he decided to leave it alone. He had a feeling he already knew the answer anyway.

Mello was at his desk when Matt entered the room; the soft sounds of typing permeated the small room. It seemed that Mello wanted to get a head start on their project.

"Where were you?" the blonde asked without having looked up. Matt raised an eyebrow. "You know, you always seem to need to know where I've been, any reason for it?" anytime Matt was gone for any length of time, Mello asked him his whereabouts.

Mello was silent for a long moment. "I'm just curious." Matt could tell by Mello's posture, the slight tension in his shoulders, that he was lying. Though he honestly couldn't think of a reason for it.

With a silent sigh Matt pulled out his desk chair and sat backwards on it, and faced Mello who tensed even further. Matt's fingers itched to brush aside that stray piece of hair from his face, so instead he pulled the PSP free of his pocket.

"I went to the common room because I was bored. I was going to play on the PS2." Matt placed another cigarette in his mouth, still unlit, and wondered if he should get some sort of chewing gum as a distraction.

Mello looked up from typing. "And you're not bored now?"

Matt smirked and shook his head, "No I came back _because_ I was bored." Mello snorted and muttered something that sounded like 'you're hopeless' before he continued on typing.

The room lapsed into silence, though it was a comfortable one, and Matt found himself finally being able to relax and concentrate solely on his game. He was down to ten hit points, the final boss only three, and was defending against an attack when a loud 'bang' startled him.

His finger slipped just enough that his character didn't move in time and was fried by the electrical attack. _Game Over_. That had been the final level, the _final _boss, and his last save point was over _ten _levels ago.

Matt narrowed his eyes in irritation and looked up. Mello stood there, hand on his hip, and a look of obvious amusement that tugged at his lips. Matt sighed as he felt his anger melt away. There was just no way he could even possibly stay irritated with the blonde when he looked like _that_.

"Now that I have your undivided attention, get your ass up. I'm hungry."

Matt watched as Mello stuck a chocolate bar _somewhere _inside his pants and tapped his foot impatiently as Matt stood. It was decided, Mello was officially bad for his health.

"Demanding much?" he asked as level fifteen was started again. He didn't even have his sword in that level.

"Yes very much. Now can we go before I start eating things that aren't food?" Mello said blandly. And in no way meant as a sexual innuendo. Though Matt's face still heated up as the images from the dream popped up fresh in his mind.

Mello stared at him oddly as he quickly brushed passed him and out the door.

"Damn." he swore and tried to clear his mind, focus on the game, and get rid of a rapidly rising problem. He really needed to control his reactions better, this could _not_ happen every time he thought about Mello doing _that_. Not that he should even think of Mello doing that...to him.

He groaned.

Matt was lucky enough to have everything in control by the time he entered the dining hall. He didn't really feel much like eating after that, more to his own embarrassment than anything, so only took a few light items.

"Geeze, you certainly got here quick for someone who would have missed dinner had I not pulled you from your games." Mello stated, with a slightly suspicious tone, as he sat himself down next to Matt.

"If I eat I can get back to beating the game. Which you messed up when you distracted me." Matt said around a bite of salad. "And how did I distract you, oh game addict?" Mello asked.

"Slamming a book, perhaps?" he mumbled.

"Ok, fine. What would you have preferred. Slamming the book on the table or getting hit with the book?" one look at Mello's face suggested he was completely serious.

"Can't you just throw wrappers? They're softer and you leave plenty of them lying around." and Mello seemed to have an endless supply of them.

"I could... but your reactions are more amusing this way." Mello shrugged as Matt shook his head. He would need to start saving every time he could. Matt never had to save every level before, but unless he wanted to repeat his games twenty times before he even finished them he would**. **

He hadn't learned to do this yet, why? He'd only had four months to get used to the blonde's antics...

Matt finished off the salad, which had begun to taste bitter towards the end, and watched as Mello pulled free a chocolate bar and tore into it with a loud _snap. _Matt was amazed that anything could fit in those pants with how tight they were.

Matt quickly pulled his gaze away from Mello, as it had started to drift, and returned it to his remaining food. He picked absently at the mixed fruit; not really intending to eat it as he pushed it around the small bowl.

"Matt seems rather distracted, why?" Near questioned him. Matt, despite himself, jerked his head up to look at Near and felt heat rise to his face. Why was it that Near always seemed to notice _everything_? Mello had now turned to look at Matt, while he still glared at Near, with a curious expression.

Not for the first time Matt had wished Near kept his questions to himself.

Matt quickly popped a piece of fruit into his mouth, which left him unable to reply, only to choke and spit it out. "Ack! Pineapple, I hate pineapple!" he gagged and drank down the remainder of his soda.

Mello stared at him for a few more seconds before he began to laugh. Matt held the empty drink in his hands and watched the blonde.

Mello's nose was scrunched up cutely as his head tilted to the side, eyes shinning brightly with mirth. If Matt hadn't figured it out before, he definitely would have questioned his feelings now.

The blonde was just too amazing not to.

"If you hate pineapples why didn't you pick them out before eating? Not that I didn't enjoy the show." Mello asked, lips stretched into a wide grin.

"I'm glad my pain amuses you." he stated dryly while he glared at the offending fruit. Mello cuffed him lightly in the arm with a small laugh.

"You're not hurt so yeah it's funny. And though it actually pains me to agree with the little freak, you do seem a little distracted. Any particular reason?"

Matt blinked silently at Mello and glanced at Near, both who seemed to wait for a response from him. Of all the times for Mello to actually listen to Near...

"Not really. Just thinking." Matt shrugged a shoulder while he quietly wished for the end of dinner. Mello raised a slim eyebrow, disbelieving in a way, while he stared at Matt. He appeared about to say something however seemed to think better of it after a glance towards Near.

By some stroke of luck, at least by Matt's standards, mostly everyone began to get up and leave. Dinner was over, though Matt had long since lost track of time.

With a sigh Mello stood up and waited for Matt to do the same. Matt rather hoped that Mello would not press things. He didn't want to lie to him anymore than he already had to. And with the blonde so adept at being able to spot his lies, it would no doubt hurt him.

But this was not something he could tell Mello. Certainly not...

Once back in the room, Mello seemed contemplative. As though he had not yet reached a decision about whether or not to pursue his question. Whatever question it had been. He paused in his movements, to perch carefully on the edge of the chair back, as he bit into his chocolate again.

Mello sighed heavily in defeat as he glanced at Matt one last time. Matt felt a little relived, Mello wouldn't be asking anymore awkward questions that night. Or at least not about that subject.

Matt kicked off his boots, as Mello grabbed a textbook and settled onto his bed with the PSP. "Don't study too long." Mello looked up with a smile and nodded. Matt turned onto his side, face away from the blonde, and pulled his goggles off.

"Hey Matt..." Mello began, a while later. Matt looked up, eyes strained in the yellowed light of the room. Mello hesitated, as he glanced at the clock, before he shook his head with an odd smile on his face.

A _forced_ smile.

"Never mind. I do think we should go to sleep though, it's not like it's the weekend." Mello closed the textbook a second later and left to change in the bathroom.

Matt sat up on the bed and looked at the numbers that glowed brightly on the clock. Eleven forty-three. It was seventeen minutes until Mello's birthday. Had the blonde actually thought about telling him?

"Mello..." he breathed quietly with a small smile. Wouldn't he be surprised tomorrow.

-**End **_**Surprise**_-

**AN**: K first, don't tell me you can't fall in love with someone in 4 months. It happens in real life. Lol. (it's not like I did three days or love at first sight so don't b***h at me. Well you can, but i'll send it to Lady Hiroko and we'll laugh at you ^_^)

Other than my rant, what did you think?

Also, I just put out the first chapter of a new fic (was only going to be a oneshot but its over 13,000 words so its a two parter) that deals with Mello and Matt and a virus... its called **'Dead is the New Alive',** check it out, I think you'll like it. :)

**Special thanks to last chapter reviewers **_(by the way I was absolutely FLOORED by the response I got last chapter. Just damn)!_: Charlotte and lily, 'Guest', CutmeawayMyPenMyHand, guess-whatX, Mezzanotte Nera, Sweetheart5793, Orange, Ironytoday, MysticalTears, Kari Twilight Mist, foreverunloved, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, Kyler Conroy, InnerShadow, Enjy, Zena Silverwing, Misha2011, xHanako, snappygirl, Living in a fantasy, Arra, SliceasaurusWrecks (i had to take the "." off since it kept deleting your name.... ohhh)

Review?


	13. Chapter 11: Shock

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Death Note

**AN**: K, this was supposed to be part of last chapter, but I found that it got waaaaaay too long. And You may like long chapters, but it makes it such a b***h to edit.

But I think you'll be happy with it….. :)

**Suggested Listening**: It's Not Me It's You **by** Skillet**;** Everything You Want **by** Vertical Horizon

**Chapter Eleven**: _Shock _

Matt blinked his eyes sluggishly a few times before his mind fully woke. He stifled a yawn as he looked across the room at a still sleeping Mello. It was early, earlier than he usually woke. But not too early that Roger wouldn't be in his office.

He quickly dressed and left the room. The probability that Mello's gift was there was small, but Matt knew it would constantly bother him until he checked on it. He hoped it wouldn't be late and arrive tomorrow, that would kind of defeat the purpose of getting him something...

He knocked once, at which he could hear all movements stop inside, before a weary voice told him to enter. Roger took one look at him and sighed. He seemed neither surprised nor irritated to see him, which was a first.

Matt would call that an improvement, though Roger had probably expected to see him sometime that morning before breakfast. Matt stood, quietly, as Roger took a long sip of his coffee.

"It's not here yet, though it should be sometime after noon."

It wasn't exactly what he'd wanted to hear, but at least that meant it 'should' be on time. Matt inclined his head slightly and closed the door behind him as he left. Coffee sounded good, but Matt didn't want to take another cup from the kitchen.

They may not have noticed, or at least not made a fuss, about one missing cup. But if cups kept disappearing it could cause problems. Especially if he ever wanted to sneak coffee again. Maybe he should just ask Roger for his own coffee maker?

Mello had just started to wake as Matt opened the door and he barely had time to close it and sit on his bed before Mello groaned and sat up. Matt would never admit it, but at that moment Mello looked incredibly sexy with his hair ruffled and shirt hanging loosely from one shoulder, completely sleep mused.

Mello yawned loudly before his eyes zeroed in on Matt. "Why the hell are you up so early?" Matt shrugged in response and Mello let it go as he wasn't quite awake enough to argue.

Matt forced his eyes elsewhere as Mello crawled from the bed and lazily began to get ready. He kept his attention rooted firmly at his boots until he heard the crinkle of a wrapper; a sure sign that Mello was fully clothed and ready to leave.

"So." Mello stated. Matt looked up and blinked at the questioning gaze of the blonde. Had he missed something? Mello signed heavily and walked over to him from the bathroom doorway.

"Any reason that you have been acting strange the past few days? Spacing out, getting up early, among other things..." Mello trailed off at the end and Matt knew he had been thinking of the other morning.

Mello leaned foreword; chocolate dangled from his lips and his eyes narrowed. "Just what are you hiding? It not like you, for the most part." Matt cringed slightly at Mello's subtle jab at his constant lying.

It wasn't like he liked lying to him...

"I told you last night, I've just been thinking." which technically wasn't lying since he had been thinking a lot. Though Mello probably wouldn't appreciate the fact that he had been the main subject most of the time.

Mello stared at him for a while longer before he threw his hands up in irritation. "Fine." Matt sincerely hoped that Mello would leave it alone after this. Part of it Mello would be finding out later on at any rate, the other part... _never_ if Matt had any say in it.

Mello stalked out of the room and without any prompting Matt followed. Matt knew that by the time they sat down at breakfast, Mello would be over it.

The blonde's demeanor changed though, once they stepped into eyesight of the other children. The entire dining hall seemed to notice their arrival and Matt wondered if it had to do with the fact that it was Mello's birthday; though not a soul said anything to him about it.

If Roger knew, and hadn't found it odd that Matt knew, then surely it was common knowledge. So why did everyone act like it wasn't?

Matt took it upon himself to watch the blonde carefully throughout the day, and noticed that Mello seemed almost downcast. Mello halfheartedly did his class work, and answered questions without his usual determination.

Matt had an idea why, though he wasn't a hundred percent certain even as lunch came around.

Mello picked absently at the assortment of foods until half the plate was full; he didn't even seem to realize he'd waited for Matt to finish his own selections. They headed for their table when Linda, a rather annoying gossip, bumped into Mello accidently.

Mello glared as Linda huffed slightly while he adjusted the hold on his plate. "Geeze, I'm sorry. Anyway..." Linda said though she seemed to debate on saying something more, however quickly decided not to as she walked off seconds later. He watched as Mello's shoulders slumped slightly and heard the soft sigh before Mello continued on to the table.

Everyone knew it was the blonde's birthday, and yet not one of them had said anything about it yet.

There was obviously a story behind the entire thing, a reason for everyone to ignore such a day. Mello _had _seemed hesitant to tell Matt the night before; was it possible that he believed Matt wouldn't care?

Matt instantly dismissed the thought, Mello couldn't be that insecure...

Mello had only eaten half his lunch, and was on to his second chocolate bar already. Chocolate was Mello's chosen addiction, as well as something that soothed him, and something he tended to eat more of when he got stressed.

Matt had already seen Mello eat nearly ten bars so far, and it wasn't even dinner.

"Mello? Something wrong?" he questioned. It was one of the few times he'd spoken in public, though almost no one heard him other than his table mate. Mello's eyes drifted to him though his thoughts seemed to be else where.

"I'm just tired." he replied a few minutes later. Matt rolled his eyes as he knew that wasn't true. It seemed that Mello really was bothered by everyone's silence. Even Near hadn't mentioned it, though Mello might have decked him if he had.

Near was his 'rival'. According to Mello at any rate. Matt had no idea what Near thought.

Lunch finished and Mello walked off to their next class, though he usually stopped by the room beforehand. Matt ran his fingers through his hair. Knowing Mello was hazardous to ones health. The blonde's mood changed so frequently, and the smallest things set him off or upset him.

Though his reaction was understandable this time.

If Matt actually _cared_ what most people thought he would probably be inclined to be a little down when everyone ignored his birthday. Though no one knew his actual birthday except Mello, so....

Matt's mind was mainly focused on the amount of time they had left before afternoon classes got out. He hoped that the jacket would be there by then. He guessed he could have spent his time making a card or something but he didn't think Mello would really care for a card.

And what exactly could he put on a card beside 'Happy Birthday Mello'. He certainly wasn't going to adorn the inside of it with something like 'always thinking of you, best wishes on your special day' or other overused and sappy lines like that. He could imagine Mello's face should he give him that kind of card...

Though it would be amusing Matt would rather not get hit with another textbook anytime soon.

Classes seemed to drag by at an agonizingly slow pace. The teachers droned on about subjects that either didn't interest him at all or couldn't hold his currently frayed attention span.

When the final class was ended for the day Matt sighed in relief and stood from the hard seat. He and Mello usually met back up in their room so Matt knew where he would find the blonde once he had everything.

First however, Matt needed a smoke. Badly.

He dodged the other slowly walking bodies in the hallway and was outside in record time. All that friendship business had gotten him worked up an anxious. Perhaps he would be able to persuade Mello to let him smoke in the room with the window open?

Matt snorted at that. Who was he kidding?

The weather outside was bad and it seemed likely to snow at any time. Matt wrinkled his nose a little at the thought. He didn't hate the cold wet stuff per say. He would just prefer to smoke in peace rather than have thousands of tiny flakes swirling and dancing around him and making a general nuisance out of themselves.

And he wasn't fond of the cold that came with them either.

Matt put out the remainder of the cigarette and carelessly flicked it into the bushes. If it did snow, all his discarded smokes would be covered up. That was possibly the only good thing about the white stuff.

"Excuse us!" a few children yelled as they ran passed Matt and down the steps. Matt shook his head. How anyone could _want_ to be outside now...

He caught the doors before they closed and shuffled inside, his posture slouched with his hands stuffed into his pockets. Damn gloves didn't keep his fingers warm at all. He ignored all others that passed him on his way to Roger's office, he recognized their faces from the surveillance but didn't otherwise know them.

Matt looked up and was rather surprised to see's the large office door shut, and once he tried the knob, locked. Roger, it seemed, was out. Didn't it figure?

Matt leaned against the wall haphazardly and played idly with his lighter. There really was no way to tell how long Roger had been gone for, or how long he would continue to be gone for. He could only hope the man would be back soon.

Matt smiled slightly to himself. Had he been told four months ago he'd be waiting outside Roger's office because of a gift for Mello he probably would have laughed. Things had changed a great deal since then.

He just couldn't be sure if it was all for the better.

Matt looked up, a while later, at the sound of footsteps. Roger had a stack of papers cradled in one hand and a set of keys that dangled in the other. "I don't suppose I need to ask why you are waiting." Roger stated it more as a fact as opposed a question so Matt didn't bother with a reply.

Matt waited patiently as the door was unlocked and left open for him to walk through. He watched lazily as Roger deposited the papers onto his desk and went to a small table to the left, right around where one of the cameras was placed, and picked up a rectangular box.

"Close the door on your way out." Roger said as he handed over the box. Matt didn't reply but did as he was asked. Now that he had the box, he looked over the outside for and labels that would give away its contents.

He hadn't thought to ask for it to be wrapped, though he supposed that he should of as he didn't have anything of the sort lying around. And with Mello in the room at this time, as Matt assumed it was far closer to dinner than it had been before, he wouldn't have been able to sneak it in.

Thankfully, the box was completely white with not even a hint of lettering. At least Mello wouldn't be able to immediately tell what it was. Perhaps Roger had thought ahead and made arrangements for a plain box? Matt didn't really care either way, since he wasn't going to ask anytime soon.

The second he opened the door, in a rather clumsy manor, he felt Mello's eyes on him. And after a glance at the clock he understood why. He was rather late. He'd been waiting for Roger a lot long than he'd thought.

Mello eyed the box suspiciously and nibbled slowly on the end of his chocolate, with a book open in his lap.

"So what's that? I assume that is why you disappeared?" Mello's voice held a nice amount of irritation as well as something Matt couldn't decipher. Matt smiled slightly and held out the box. Mello looked confused but took hold of the box gently and stared at Matt in silent question.

"Happy birthday Mello."

Mello looked stunned; his eyes wide in silent awe.

"This was why you've been so distracted. You got me something... for my birthday." Mello's voice was soft, amazed, and almost apologetic. It made Matt uneasy since that wasn't the _exact _truth, though close enough.

"Thank you." Mello stood and Matt sucked in a breath as Mello pulled him into a quick hug; the blonde's slim arms wrapped around his neck and soft hair brushed against his ear.

Matt wanted nothing more than to keep Mello within his grip but let go the moment the blonde began to pull away. Mello backed away after that, and opened the box rather awkwardly. Matt felt like someone had set fire to his face it was so warm.

He honestly had not expected that reaction from Mello...

Mello's small, awkward, smile became a huge grin as he held up his gift. "How the hell did you know I wanted a new jacket?!"

"I do listen to you even when you are yelling and stomping around the room. You made quite a fuss when you found that hole in your other one." Matt stated blandly with a roll of his eyes.

Mello immediately turned back to the jacket and tugged it on. His fingertips brushed gently against the new material before looking back at Matt. "So, how do I look?"

Matt, forgoing any form of common sense, said the first thing that came to mind. "Sexy." there was a few seconds of awkward silence as Mello blinked repeatedly with an unreadable expression. Matt was only _slightly _less than mortified.

"Well I hope I don't look anything less." Mello said finally. Matt slowly released the breath he'd been holding and cursed himself for being so damn _stupid_. He couldn't go around and actually tell Mello those things!

Matt felt like smacking his head against the wall though wouldn't dare do that with Mello hardly six feet from him. He needed to learn to keep his mouth shut; he'd never had a problem before...

"We'll, since I'm apparently sexy, lets go show me off at dinner." Mello stated proudly while motioning to the jacket. What the hell was Mello going on about...?

"You do realize that we are inside, right? And that you're going to get very warm, very quick in that." Matt told him while he fiddled with a cigarette. Mello nodded.

"Roger never turns the damn heat on anyway. I'll be fine. Besides, if I pass out I'm sure you'd help." Mello stated with a raised eyebrow. How was it that everything seemed to come back to him now, ever since his stupid comment?

"Yeah, I'll throw some water on you. Should fix everything." Matt stated blandly, despite the upwards quark to his lips.

"For the record, I'll kill you if you do that." Mello said with a smile, his head tilted to the side. Matt found it less intimidating that he probably should; considering he didn't think Mello was joking in the least.

Matt shrugged. He'd die happy he guessed?

"Hey Mello?" Matt asked suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever get other gifts for your birthday?" Matt wasn't even sure why he thought of it, but he really wanted to know. It was stupid to think he was the only one, but with the way everyone was acting he couldn't be sure.

Mello looked surprised at the question though Matt knew it wasn't a bad thing to ask with the grin that spread across the blonde's face. "Yeah, L always sends me one. Though for whatever reason he always sends it a week late."

"What does he send?" Matt was curious; what would someone who had all the money he could ever want, send to a successor? Mello laughed and shook his head.

"Chocolate, what else? Though it's a miracle it ever makes it in the mail since L has a huge sweet tooth, or so I've heard."

Well, Matt supposed, one never could go wrong with chocolate. But Matt thought he did slightly better, because he got something Mello hadn't been expecting.

"Stop thinking so much and let's go." Mello sighed and grabbed Matt's arm. Matt was given no choice but to follow Mello to the dining hall least he be dragged. Mello let go once they were outside and strode in like he owned the place.

Mello's mood had done a complete turn around, and Matt couldn't help but feel a little happy that he was part of the reason for it. Mello's different mood seemed to confuse everyone as much as the shiny new jacket he wore. Though the latter was probably more to the fact that he was wearing it _inside_.

Mello's grin didn't fade even the slightest despite having spotted Near already seated.

Matt watched, rather amused, as Mello ate his dinner, careful not to drop anything on the jacket.

"You know, if you had just left it back in the room, you could eat normally." Matt received an exasperated groan.

"Just shut up and finish your own food." Mello growled out despite being unable to rid himself of his grin. Matt gave him a mock salute and went back to eating. Though he was sorely tempted to flick something at the blonde.

However should it happen to land on the jacket, Matt knew he would die a horrible death. He probably should have just gotten Mello chocolate.

He could always do that next year and see what Mello thought of it. There was no guarantee however, that he would be there the next year. He pushed the remainder of his food away, as it turned sour in his mouth at the last thought.

Just how long did he have there?

Not too long later Mello rose from his seat, like those around him, and walked off, though he did pause briefly for a moment. "Matt." Mello called over his shoulder. Matt didn't need for the blonde to say anymore for him to know he was being asked, or more like told, to follow.

He didn't mind too much, it wasn't like he was in the middle of a conversation.

As Matt got up to follow Mello he could have sworn he heard Near say a soft 'thank you'. But when he looked over, the albino had already walked away.

Matt couldn't say for certain if he'd imagined it or not, but it had sounded far too real. Matt already had enough things to think about, so he pushed those thoughts away. He had to catch up to Mello at any rate.

The blonde had gotten all the way to their room by the time Matt caught him.

At this point, after the completely stressful events of the day, Matt was ready to relax. Though he knew he still had some work to do. He took a change of clothes and entered the bathroom as Mello messed about with his chocolate stash. Matt took a deep breath and released it slowly.

Despite everything, the day had gone well in the end.

As Matt walked out of the bathroom, he watched as Mello took the jacket off and draped it gently over the back of the computer chair. He shook his head at the blonde. It was only a jacket; it wasn't anything all that great.

And he hardly believed it was the best gift he'd ever gotten. But whatever made him happy, he supposed.

Matt decided to go onto the laptop, and get things over and done with. He took out headphones and plugged them in while the laptop booted up. He planned on watching any flagged material from the last day or so.

"Matt?"

He looked up at the sound of Mello's voice, one ear bud already in.

"How did you know it was my birthday?" Mello sounded completely curious, with not even an ounce of suspicion. Mello was starting to trust him too much despite all the lies he told him.

"People tend to talk when they think you aren't listening." was the first thing that came out of Matt's mouth. He honestly had no idea where that came from, despite it being true. The look on Mello's face told him to elaborate.

"When I was in the library the other day I had my headphones on but was creating my playlist, I wasn't the only one there." Mello seemed to accept the answer, and Matt couldn't tell if he'd been believed or not.

"I'm glad you heard them...." Mello said quietly.

Matt had just placed the second ear bud in but still heard him; and he doubted Mello had been talking about the gift. Mello had opened one of his novels and was now engrossed in it. If the blonde was reading than it meant he'd finished all of his studying and extra work earlier.

Matt shrugged, as long as Mello wasn't overworking himself he didn't care what Mello chose to do.

Around three hours later, as Matt had lost track of time, he was startled to see an incoming transmission. The call program worked both ways but unless it was super important Matt was the only one allowed to call since it could get him in big trouble if he were caught.

He glanced up, all thoughts on excuses he could use to leave the room this late. But after he saw Mello asleep, book dangling from his fingertips, he knew it wouldn't be needed. As quietly as he could manage, he left the room and practically jogged to the library.

Though he was careful not to make too much noise least he get caught out of his room. That was not a scenario he wanted to happen.

He settled down in a corner on the first floor, headphones on, and answered the call.

"You answered quicker than I expected you to." Light said in an almost bored tone. Matt shrugged, though he instantly felt on edge. This was not a social call after all.

"I have something very important to tell you, now listen carefully." Light's bored expression transformed into a grin that Matt would liken to the Cheshire Cat. Matt pressed record on the computer to make sure he got everything, whatever it was, he wouldn't want to miss it.

Matt's eyes widened as Light began to explain just what had him so happy. For Matt, it was a nightmare.

**-End **_**Shock**_**-**

**AN: **Buwhahaha! I had to have one cliffhanger in this! Any guesses as to what Light wants? Heheheh. Other than the cliffy, how was the chapter? I gave fluffy-ish stuff....

And onto other new, I have two new oneshots out, one of them is '_**Taste**_' which is the sequel to my other oneshot 'Bitter'. And the second oneshot is _**'12 Days Of Death Note'**_.

**Special thanks to reviewers**: SliceasaurusWrecks, IndifferenceToSociety, Orange, The Sora-muffin, ShyClown, Kim, Misha2011, RainbowJapan, Amaya-Ai, crownedclown3293, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, Noke Neko Lover, snappygirl, Enjy, Kyler Conroy, Kari Twilight Mist, Mezzanotte Nera, foreverunloved

Review?


	14. Chapter 12: Choices

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Death Note

**AN**: Hehe. This chapter was originally started two days before thanksgiving. You see how long it takes me to edit stuff?

And someone pointed out that Rodger is supposed to be spelt without the 'd', however I do know that. The problem is that WORD automatically fixes it to 'Rodger' every time I open the documents. So until I can fix the issue.... it will stay _Rodger_. Sorry!

**Suggested Listening**: Friend or Foe **by **t.A.t.U**;** Treasure **by **Flyleaf

**Chapter Twelve**: _Choices _

Green eyes stared at the screen in a blank manor.

Matt, for once, didn't know what to do. He jammed a cigarette into his mouth and lit it. He had too many things to worry about at the moment and Roger could be damned if he thought Matt wasn't going to smoke inside.

He pushed open the second story library window, and despite the cold air that rushed in, stayed close to the opening.

His hands shook, and it had nothing to do with the weather. He frowned darkly and shoved his hands into his pockets.

He was in a very _bad_ situation. In fact it was absolute _shit_. Matt leaned his head against the window's cold surface, careful not to crush the cigarette. In just under five days, L would be coming to Wammys.

That wasn't even the main problem.

Matt exhaled sharply and smoke swirled about in a large cloud; his heart still beat abnormally fast in his chest.

No, the problem had to do with the change in his mission objective. He wasn't unused to such things. Far from it. And he'd also done _this_ many times in the past. But now...

Light had ordered him to assassinate L.

He laughed, a completely hollow sound, and ran gloved fingers through his hair. He had four days to make a decision. Four days, and no matter what he chose, he was fucked.

If he went by what Light had told him, then the choice was clear, kill L. And afterwards leave Wammys. If he went by what his heart told him, then he had to warn L. And the outcome of that was not something even he could figure out.

The first thing he had to do was find proof that Light hadn't lied, that L had many innocents killed in order for his brand of justice to work out. But the look Light had in his eyes as he'd said that... had Matt very doubtful.

If L truly had done all those horrible things, Matt didn't think he would care about one of his successor's birthdays, or care enough to visit for the holidays. L was coming to give Mello his gift personally, as it would be around a week after the blonde's birthday, and spend Christmas there.

Though whether or not he would let himself be seen by all the orphans or just a select few, Matt just didn't know.

He pinched the end off the cigarette and tossed it out the window. There would be no rest for him until he got to the bottom of it. It was either lie awake while his emotions and thoughts whirled around, or do some hacking and get answers.

It was almost funny, in a way. At the start of all of this, Matt wouldn't have questioned his orders in the slightest, and would have complied and easily killed L. But now... it just wasn't the same. Matt knew what he _wanted _to chose, but without a firm answer he just wouldn't do it.

Matt was going to hack Light's main server. It would have everything he needed stored on it. The best part, Matt had designed the entire system for him. Matt knew every access point and had even left a few backdoors for himself because he had been bored.

Even if Light tried, he couldn't lock Matt out from the system; though there would be no reason for him to do so at the moment. Still, Matt wasn't going to use his normal means of accessing the data as it would be heavily monitored.

He moved the laptop over to the plush chair and coffee table. It was going to be a while before he got to go back to their room, and he had no desire to sit on the cold floor the entire time. Just because he knew how to get in, didn't mean he knew where the data would be.

The kind he was looking for would be well hidden, even in the 'secure' server.

His fingers started off softly, lazy almost in their movements, as he brought up a special program and began the hack. Getting in was easy, and staying undetected was the same. He would know the second they caught on to him, if they did at all, and he would have time to back out before the trace could complete and they figured out who it was.

The files wouldn't be in any of the main areas, probably in Lights personal files, or perhaps even under Kira.

His fingers picked up speed; they flew across the keyboard in quick, fluid movements, as they tried to keep up with his thoughts.

Kira. Everything had to be under Kira's files.

The Kira file, was almost something like a ghost drive, it was there and yet not at the same time. Matt just had to find it. It was easier said than done, especially with the large amounts of drives, files and systems to sift through.

It was a challenge, something that interested Matt, and something he couldn't afford to fail at.

He swept through piles and piles of data, nothing, not even a whisper about Kira. He lit another cigarette, but this time didn't bother to move towards the window. Where would Kira's file be....?

Hour after hour and still nothing. "Damn it..." he muttered, close to chewing on his addiction. His fingers stopped, paused mid-type, and he grinned. He had been looking in the wrong places.

"Clever..." he continued his search, this time in a far more obvious place. What better than to hide something in plain sight?

Seconds, minutes, hours later, Matt blinked, eyesight blurred, and he tugged the goggles away from his eyes. He winced at the influx of sunlight. He'd been working all night... and what he'd found...

Light... no _Kira_, had stated that L had perverted justice to suit his own needs, when all along that's exactly what he'd been doing himself. Matt had never really thought about the reason he'd had to lie, steal or even kill for his job.

Because it had just been a job.

Wammys, _Mello_, had made him look passed the job; had forced him to notice the people behind it all. Had forced Matt to seek the truth.

And he had found it, the reason Light wanted L dead.

L had been steadily catching, and placing, people who worked for Light in jail; which was in turn cutting into the work Light had been doing. Matt was, in a way, relieved. His choice, no matter the consequences, would be the one he wanted to make. Would be the _right_ one.

He did, however, have his work cut out for him.

He would need a reason for L to listen to him, to get L to talk with him alone, without outright telling him whilst in the company of Wammy or Roger. He would need to hack into Wammys systems again and look through the rest of the files, perhaps there was something that only someone who read the files should know.

Something, that if Matt happened to let slip, would make L curious. Or more likely worried.

He had four days to do so, without Mello finding out. Mello couldn't know, at least not before L knew. Matt had no idea how the blonde would take something like that, and he couldn't afford to get arrested because Mello did something hasty.

Matt glanced at the time wearily and sighed. Mello would already be up and wondering where the hell he was. He really needed some caffeine though....

He shut down the laptop, replaced the furniture and closed the window. The room smelled slightly of smoke, though if Roger didn't visit the library for the next few hours, the smell might dissipate enough for him not to get caught.

He yawned widely and trudged down the steps; he might have time to make coffee if he was quick enough... though the probable interrogation Mello would give him would chip away at that time.

It was going to be a long, long week, he thought.

He almost winced, as he opened the door, at the force of the glare that was placed on him. "Where the hell have you been?" Mello's eyes were narrowed and his voice calm. Too calm.

"I couldn't sleep. I went to the library so I wouldn't wake you with all the typing." Matt shrugged a shoulder and continued to his side of the room; though he did note that Mello's angry calm turned to surprise, for what reason Matt couldn't figure out.

"You forgot to replace your goggles, you know?" Mello said quietly. Matt's hand paused above the desk, where he'd just placed the heated laptop. Well that would explain the surprise. Mello had only seen him with his goggles off once before.

"I keep forgetting your eyes are green..." he heard the blonde mumble as he opened another bar, if the crinkling and tearing of foil was any indication. It was odd, he'd spent all that time agonizing over what he would do, but now that he was around Mello again, he thought the choice should have been obvious.

How could he have ever considered hurting him? Because Mello would have been devastated if L was murdered.

"Think there is enough time to grab coffee?" Matt questioned aloud. He heard Mello snort. "I'll take that as a no..." he sighed heavily.

"Can I eat some of your chocolate then, that stuff is supposed to have caffeine in it, right?" he was too tired to care where the caffeine came from, so long as he could have some. Granted chocolate had only a little, but it was better than nothing...

"Catch."

Matt had just enough time to turn his head before a bar of dark chocolate smacked him in the face. Perfect.

He didn't comment on it though, as Mello's expression was slightly apologetic, if not slightly amused as well. He shook his head and stuffed the bar into his pocket, along with his PSP.

"Not going to save it for your morning cigarette?" Mello asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I already had one in the library. A few actually." Matt answered as he motioned to the half empty pack before he placed it in his back pocket.

"Remind me to laugh at you when Roger takes away your cigarettes." Mello's grin was full of mischief, and Matt forced himself to remember that loosing his cigarettes was bad.

"You won't be laughing if you have to deal with me when I'm craving. If I'm miserable, everyone else will be as well." which was true. As he tended to become rather vindictive and short tempered when he was without them.

"If you hide my chocolate again I will chop your hands off, friend or not." Mello told him with all seriousness. Matt laughed at the imagery of himself with no hands. Though he knew that it shouldn't be amusing.

"And who gets you the good chocolate?" he reminded the blonde. Mello rolled his eyes and purposely took a bite.

"Are you going to change, or go through the day in yesterdays clothing?" Mello asked, amused.

"Give me a minute then." he mumbled. He couldn't believe that had slipped his mind so easily. Or maybe it should have been expected with everything from the past few days. With little enthusiasm he entered the bathroom and changed.

He would have actually preferred to take a shower, but it would have to wait until later, probably before dinner. "Hurry up!" he heard Mello yell from the other side. He rolled his eyes. He took five minutes and Mello had a fit, but if Mello took an hour everything was fine.

As he exited the bathroom he was tempted to throw his dirty clothes at Mello just to see what reaction he would get. Other than the usual angry snarls or thrown items. He sighed as Mello immediately left for breakfast. Why the blonde couldn't just go by himself....

Matt followed silently, not bothering with the PSP. He probably should have played it regardless of his current mood, as he wouldn't have much time to do so for the rest of the week.

Though he did know that if he altered his routine too much Mello, and even Near, were bound to notice.

He grabbed two breakfast rolls and sat down while Mello gathered whatever it was that was on his plate. Four months there and he still couldn't name half of the things that were served. At least most of them tasted good.

He ended up eating only half of one of the rolls. What he really wanted was coffee; which was sadly unavailable. He was going to be a right mess for the rest of the day... he needed something to distract him for the moment, until he caught his second, or was it third now, wind.

Matt decided, in his sleep deprived mind, that it would be amusing to mimic Mello as the blonde devoured his addiction. Matt had long ago memorized his friend's pattern when it came to eating chocolate at meals.

Though the pattern was sometimes broken depending on his mood. And as Mello was in a generally good mood at the moment...

He unwrapped the chocolate at the exact moment Mello began to do the same with his. To observers, it might have looked like a coincidence. Though the fact that Matt was about to eat chocolate would have been strange enough.

He pealed the foil back in the same rushed and almost violent manor and waited exactly three seconds before he sank his teeth into the confection and pulled the chocolate upwards as he tore a piece off to create the same _snap_ sound as Mello.

Some of the conversation had died down, and he knew that he was being watched. He didn't need to look up to know that Near's attention was on him and Mello's, more so than usual; as was the attention of probably everyone near the table.

It was fun to mess with people. They would wonder, question, the reason for him acting like that. And the amusing part was, he really didn't have a reason.

"Matt." he turned at Mello's voice. He cocked his head to the side just as Mello did and let the chocolate rest by his lips like the blonde. "It's more than a little creepy that you know me so well." Mello told him with a half grin.

Matt couldn't help the smirk that formed. "I'm around you most of the day. It's not hard to copy you." he bit off another piece of the rich chocolate and another _snap_ filled the room.

Matt found it odd, now that he actually thought about it, that he allowed himself to act like that in public. But supposed that it didn't really matter as the mission was, in his mind, over.

He let the chocolate melt slowly in his mouth, it wasn't sweet like the milk chocolate Mello had made him try, and he rather liked it despite not being all that fond of sweet things all that much. He more preferred salty or spicy things; though lollipops were ok.

He finished off the rest of the chocolate quickly, and gained a slightly giddy feeling. Almost as though he'd eaten too much sugar, which the dark chocolate had very little of, or was high; which he knew the feeling of.

Matt decided that the reaction was probably caused by the 'happy' drug that resided in the cocoa; and the darker the chocolate the higher the content. Not quite like caffeine, but it wouldn't make him crash in a few hours like sugary things would either.

"Don't even think of getting addicted to my chocolate." he heard Mello mumble as they departed for their classes.

Matt smirked. "There are far better things to be addicted to than chocolate."

Mello rolled his eyes but didn't comment further. They ended up almost being late for class, as Mello hadn't been able to find one of his assignments. As such, Matt had to sit up front with Mello and Near, as his normal seat in the back was taken.

The lesson didn't interest Matt, in the least, and he'd been reduced to drawing pictures inside his notebook. At the very least it appeared that he had been taking notes.

His mind was stuck on far more important things, such as L's arrival. He knew there was nothing more he could do until he hacked into Wammys again, but it was impossible to rid his mind of those thoughts.

What he was about to do, was most likely the stupidest thing he'd ever done in the entirety of his life; simply for the fact that he would, in all likelihood, be dead by the end of it. For no one ever escaped Kira's grasp.

_Ever._

Matt doubted that even L could protect him, as he _had _been sent to infiltrate Wammys, quite successfully at that.

It was said that love made people to stupid things, make stupid choices. And what he was doing was stupid, from a self preservation point of view. But even if L _had_ done all those horrible things... Matt doubted he honestly could have made any other choice in the end.

Mello nudged him in the side and he looked over, only to find everyone else already gone.

"You really didn't get much sleep did you?" Mello sighed and dragged him from the seat. "Let's go before we end up late. Once of that is enough for a day."

Matt allowed himself to be pulled along, with lighthearted amusement, because he knew that once L came, one way or another, things were going to change.

In their next class Matt was able to sit in the back of the room, so he made use of it and pulled the PSP out. At least his attention wouldn't drift as much while using his preferred handheld.

At least that was what he thought.

Between the lack of sleep and stressful, consuming, thoughts the classes passed quickly. He hardly even remembered lunch, other than Mello watching him carefully with an unreadable expression, and the other classes were no better.

He'd thought that once he'd made his decision, his choice, that things would be less complicated; and yet they seemed more so than ever. Was it because his choice didn't only affect him, but the entirety of Wammys as well?

Matt had been relatively fine that morning, all things considered. And yet now everything just seemed so entirely bleak. It was like a delayed reaction with him; as though his brain only processed small bits of the problem at a time, leaving everything to drag on continuously.

"Matt, snap out of it! We've been in the room for fifteen minutes and all you've done is stare out the window." Mello's irritated voice broke through his thoughts and left him to stare at the blonde.

"Really what is with you?" Mello continued, while he snatched another chocolate bar from his stash. "I have never seen you so out of it, I'd even venture to say that you are worried about something. So what's going on in the mind of yours?"

Matt shifted uncomfortably under the piercing and unrelenting gaze, unaware that he had been doing so. "I'm just tired. Nothing else." he winced as Mello looked saddened for a moment before the blonde's expression grew blank.

"Ok, I'm going to study in the library. You should get some rest." Mello's voice was flat, emotionless, and Matt knew that if Mello left that something in their relationship would be torn. Unfixable.

Because even Mello could only take so many lies. Even if those lies were the only thing saving their friendship; at least that was what Matt believed.

"Mello..." he whispered and the blonde paused by the door, textbooks in hand. Matt's eyes were closed and he hoped that Mello wouldn't pry. That Mello would continue being a far better friend than he deserved.

"It's just dreams... their just dreams and..." the rest of the sentence, even half formed in his mind, just wouldn't come out. He couldn't say any more, if he spoke of being stressed then Mello would want to know _why_.

And if he were to say it was about work, Mello would assume that he was talking about the class work. Matt didn't want to know what track Mello's mind would take with that information.

Mello's stiff posture lessened and he turned to face Matt. "I'm being pushy again, aren't I?"

Matt shook his head as Mello walked back over to his desk before he tossed the books onto it. He ruffled his hair and sighed. Mello didn't say anything more, even as Matt moved and grabbed his laptop and sat on his bed.

Matt did have to wonder what was going on in the blondes' head. Matt would almost take the angry and pissed off Mello over the silent one. When Mello was silent, Matt wasn't sure how to handle him, even more so when he got that look on his face that said he was about to, or already was, over analyze things.

He sighed and turned his attention back to the laptop. He really needed to hack Wammys as he didn't plan on any sleep for the foreseeable future. The atmosphere, while not quite as tense, was not a good one to fall asleep to.

Add that to his list of things to do...

"Hey Matt, study with me?" Mello's voice floated across the room, as did the hidden message. _Forgive me?_

"Sure." though there was nothing to forgive. Matt had found that once Mello got it in his head that he was at fault, while not usually outright saying so, he would find ways to apologize. And half the time Mello hadn't even done anything. Though when he did, it was usually something monumental.

Matt just hoped that when everything was said and done, Mello could forgive him, for _everything_.

"At least I can insure that you don't fall from third in your zombie like state." Mello said and tossed a book to Matt. He caught it and hopped off his bed to join Mello on his. He would much rather being hacking, but he knew Mello would have been less than pleased had he rejected his offer.

Not that Matt really had a reason to say no, or at least not a reason he could actually _tell_ Mello.

There was no way around it. But Matt didn't mind too much, as it did allow him to spend more time with Mello, rather than just be around him. He watched as Mello tucked his hair behind his ears, and cursed, completely irritated, as it slipped out of place almost immediately.

At Mello's slight pout, and annoyed roll of eyes, Matt felt, not for the first time, the sensation of butterflies in his stomach. That weirdly, almost pleasant, feeling...

Matt shook his head; he needed to stay clear of those emotions; especially around Mello. The last thing he needed at the moment was for the blonde to figure it all out.

Matt had to fight to keep his thoughts in check the entire time they studied, between his newfound headache, and Mello being _Mello_. Half of the things Mello had been doing made Matt wonder if the blonde _knew_ about his feelings and was purposely trying to drive him crazy.

They had only gotten through one subject by the time dinner had arrived, and all things considered Matt would call that a victory.

Matt supposed that he should have been used to it by that point, by he still sighed as he spotted Near seated at the table. Though Matt had to admit, Near wasn't completely bad. Or at least not as bad as Mello continued to make him out to be.

Matt was tempted, however, to let Mello do as he wished on the times that Near did provoke him. Matt figured it would be his _just deserts_ in an ugly sort of way, if Mello did beat him into the floor.

He sighed. His opinion was far too biased...

"I'm rather surprised you're letting me study, you're not going to suddenly decide I'm breaking the deal are you?" Mello questioned him, eyes narrowed, with a fork balanced between his long fingers. Matt raised an eyebrow.

"You're making it sound like I keep you from studying at all. And if I'm doing it with you than I can make sure you stop before you try to go all night." Matt paused briefly and rewound the sentence in his head and flushed. The last half didn't sound right at all and made his thoughts drift back to the dream.

Matt felt tempted to hit his head on the table.

He saw the weird look Mello gave him but didn't think on it as Mello remained silent. He hoped Mello didn't want to study too late, however Matt wasn't about to let it go any longer than twelve.

He could hear Mello mutter softly, about something they had just studied, under his breath and rolled his eyes. Mello acted as though they hadn't just spent the better part of two hours going over that subject.

For once, Matt had hopped that dinner would last longer. He didn't like to study, and Mello or not, he still disliked it. It was a pointless endeavor to him, though he would never share those thoughts with the blonde.

As they walked back to their room, dinner having ended far too abruptly for his taste, Matt was rather displeased at the thought of continued study, but knew there was no way to get out of it. Mello seemed to be extra enthusiastic, now that dinner was over and the earlier awkwardness forgotten.

He doubted, as they continued, that he would even remember half of it the next day.

One subject blurred into two, into three and into four. Matt hadn't a clue as to how long they'd been studying, only that he was tired, more so than he'd been at dinner. Matt looked over to Mello, whose eyes blinked far too frequently for him to actually still be able to read anything.

Mello, who seemed to finally notice Matt's gaze, eyed the clock wearily and sighed before he closed the textbook.

"Alright, I guess we should stop. It is getting late." Mello yawned widely and flopped backwards onto his bed.

It was around eleven and Matt was utterly exhausted by that time. Though he found it hard to be annoyed with the blonde despite his wasted night. There was no way he would have be able to stay awake long enough to complete the hack; as he knew he wouldn't have stopped until he'd found something of use in the database. Which probably would have left him without another night of sleep...

Which he just couldn't afford.

Matt rolled off the bed, as he watched Mello turn to his side and groan sleepily, and went to grab his night clothes. He didn't really care what he wore that night, as long as it was long sleeved.

Mello was at his laundry basket, having just changed, as Matt walked behind him; the only problem was that Mello decided to turn around that moment and collided directly with Matt.

"Damn!" Mello cursed and clutched Matt's arm tightly to keep his balance even as Matt nearly toppled over. Matt's arm had gone around Mello to help steady him, and it was only as his gloveless fingers warmed did he realize just how little Mello wore.

He pulled away as quick as he could, cheeks flushed, as Mello mumbled an apology almost too silent to hear. Matt hurried into the bathroom and gently shut the door. His heart beat wildly in his chest and his mind kept replaying the incident.

He turned the faucet on and quickly splashed his face with cold water. The feeling of how soft Mello's skin had felt underneath his fingertips went straight to his head and wouldn't go away.

Literally.

It was going to be a long night.

**-End **_**Choices**_**-**

**AN:** Yeah..... I had some issues with this chapter, seems to be happening more frequently too. *sigh* This chapter and 13 are actually my least favorite chapters in the fic, which out of 24 chapters and climbing is saying something. (and this is version 2 of chapter 12... eh.....)

*shrug*

So, other than that… how was this?

**Special thanks to reviewers: **Ashes of the Phoenix,Kara 'Nine', DeathNotes-Matt-Chan, IndifferenceToSociety, Sweetheart5793, RainbowJapan, Enjy, snappygirl, Amaya-Ai, foreverunloved, Kari Twilight Mist, xSadistxFujix, Misha2011, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, Zena Silverwing, Living in a fantasy, Mezzanotte Nera, foreverunloved

_(if I forgot anyone please feel free to yell at me, though I will tell you that with last chapter I got notified of hardly any of the reviews and only noticed them when I checked to see if the chapter was up properly… damn )_

**Review**?


	15. Chapter 13: Chaos

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Death Note

**AN**: This was originally not going to be out until Friday, but to thank everyone for getting this fic over 200 reviews I decided to get off my lazy a** and edit this_. (It's also a treat for me because it gets me closer to posting my FAVORITE chapter of the fic, 16)_ Also if there are some errors, please don't hurt me, I got like no sleep last night and I edited this only twice instead of three times.

And if anyone can spot them, there are plenty of allusions to coming events in here... buwhahahah!

I also just wanted to say a real quick thanks to 'somerandomdudealso' and 'zchocolatebunniesrulezworld' for all your lovely reviews. Just wow.

**Suggested Listening**: Fever **by** Adam Lambert (Yes I know it's also by lady gaga, but I'm kind of addicted to his version, don't ask me why. You might just hit me...)**;** Him **by** Lunic

**Chapter Thirteen**: _Chaos _

Matt walked back to their room, coffee in hand, and yawned widely as he opened the door. Mello was already inside, as he had suspected, and Mello glanced up wordlessly as he shut the door.

Mello seemed to have gotten enough studying done the night before, as he was now sprawled across his bed, novel in one hand, and chocolate bar between his lips.

Once classes had ended Matt knew there would be no hope of him being able stay awake after his restless night of sleep. He'd gotten a fair amount of sleep, surprisingly, as he hadn't woken up once during the night, but whatever dreams he'd been having had left him rather unrested in the morning.

Though Matt doubted they had been of the sexual kind, despite how the night had ended, he would have _noticed_ something like that.

He hadn't been able to hide out in the bathroom as long as he'd have liked, as Mello would have questioned the reasons. And he doubted Mello would have understood his embarrassment over the situation.

"I had wondered why you practically ran from class. You even got here before me and dropped your things off." Mello commented. Matt saw no reason to reply, as there had been no question.

He took a textbook off his desk and placed it on his bed along with his laptop before he sat down. As he booted up the laptop he set the coffee gently on the book; careful not to knock it off his mini coffee table.

It had been a long shot going to the kitchens after classes, as he hadn't known how long it took to prepare dinner, but it had paid off in the end. He had made a half pot of strong coffee and practically chugged his first cup before he took the second back with him.

He couldn't afford to delay the second hack into Whammys any further. There were, from what he remembered, a lot of files to go through and he didn't know how long it would take him to find, if anything, useful.

"You're always on your laptop if your PSP is charging, what are you doing on it? And please don't tell me you're watching porn."

Matt cracked a smile and looked up. "Playing solitaire. Though you did give me a good idea." Mello groaned at his answer and shook his head.

"You're hopeless Matty!" Mello stilled, near instantly, after he'd spoken. What had Mello just called him?

"It's just a nickname...." the blonde murmured, eyes glued to the novel, though it was clear he wasn't reading. Mello had given him a nickname, one that he'd obviously never intended to speak out loud.

Matt grinned, happy, and ridiculously so.

"Ok, Mel. And I thought nicknames were supposed to be shorter than the name?" Matt teased. He found that it amused him how Mello's eyes widened, almost double, as the blonde looked up sharply.

"Mel? I'm not a girl!" Mello growled. Matt shrugged.

"It suits you though. If you call me Matty, then I'm going to call you Mel." Matt found that he rather liked that idea, despite having never thought of calling Mello anything else other than _Mello_. Mello seemed to frown, for an instant, before he let his head fall to the bedspread.

"Fine!"

Matt wondered, now that they had agreed to that, if Mello would dare call him that in public. Dare let anyone know just how close of friends they were. Mello, despite how much he protested, did care what others thought of him. And Mello _would_ be the type to consider friendship a weakness if it got in his way.

"Hey Matt... why _are_ you so comfortable around me?" Matt stared back at Mello, who was now propped up on his elbows, still lying on his stomach. "I mean, you were rather distant when you first got here, quiet as hell until I pissed you off..." Mello trailed off as he obviously waited for an answer.

"You're the same with me. So what's your answer?" Matt smirked at the annoyed look on the blondes face, though Mello did appear to consider his own question. His brows knitted in concentration; he seemed to struggle with the answer. A few minutes passed and Matt thought he saw surprise flicker across Mello's features before the blonde shrugged; he either didn't know, or didn't feel like elaborating.

"Well, when you can answer your own question I'll tell you my answer." Matt said evenly. He wasn't sure what Mello's answer would be, though by the time Mello felt like answering perhaps Matt would be able to tell him the truth.

Mello pouted.

Actually _pouted_.

Matt swallowed inaudibly; he knew that if the blonde ever used that on him purposely, he'd do whatever Mello wanted. Matt was just thankful his friend didn't seem to have noticed his reaction.

Mello was too cute for his own good. Though he knew Mello would probably kill him for having thought of him as cute. Not that the blonde wasn't sexy too, how could he not be when he wore that leather all the time?

Matt completely cut off that train of thought as his jeans had started to become tight; the thought of Mello in those painted on leathers, and being able to see him in said leathers at that moment, was enough to give him _bad_ thoughts.

Those sorts of things had happened a lot more lately, now that he'd uncovered what he felt, and Matt knew that it was mostly his teenage hormones to blame. Just because he was a genius didn't mean he was immune to that sort of thing, sadly.

And he knew that thus far he'd been very lucky, all things considered. A lot more embarrassing things could have happened, but so far hadn't, if he excluded a certain incident; which he still didn't know what Mello had heard.

He looked down at his laptop, which had long since finished booting up, and gave a quiet sigh. It would be quite a lengthy task, not the hack, but the files themselves. He pulled up a game of solitaire, moved a few cards, and opened his real work.

He _had_ told Mello he played games on there...

It was still ridiculously easy to hack Whammys, and nothing had been changed since the first hack. No one had noticed his presence at all, and no new security had been added. Matt knew that if worse came to worse, he could always quietly mention Mello and Near's names to L, which should get his attention. At least he hoped, because that was the only backup plan he had if there was nothing of value to be had.

There were hundreds of folders, though for the moment he could rule the ones on the other orphans out. Though it still left a rather large amount to go over. He turned everything into a list, rather than thumbnails, and started at the top.

The first folder dealt entirely with Whammys financial situation. The amount of money that Quillsh Whammy had, and used for Whammys or L, was astounding. Matt couldn't even begin to think of what he would do with that kind of money.

It was no surprise, given those figures, that the kids at Whammys were well taken care of and were given the best of everything they desired. But that folder didn't hold anything of real importance, mainly a history of dealings and shipment logs.

What he really needed was L's name, though he doubted that would be on there, as nothing about L had even been mentioned the last time he'd skimmed the folders. Though he hadn't looked at _all_ the folders...

He sipped at his coffee, though it had grown cool.

More folders and more misses, it went on for hours. Each folder contained more folders to go through, and more useless albeit interesting information. He had passed over Mello, Near and his own folders as he knew what was in it, though they had been updated. He wondered what it said about him and Mello as friends, but his curiosity would have to wait.

He had begun to get frustrated, he'd known it would take time to go through everything, but there was just so much... he wondered if everything valuable, if there was anything, was hidden amidst the mountain of mundane files.

It would certainly be a deterrent to a normal hacker, who would only get orphans names and Whammys account history, but perhaps if he looked hard enough there would be something else....

"Matt!" he ignored Mello in favor of a new file. The size was fairly large and about decorations, or so stated the folder name. Not something you'd normally find mixed in.

"Maaatty!" Mello yelled. With a sigh Matt glanced at his friend, perhaps the nicknames were a bad idea...

"Get off your ass, it's time to eat."

Matt blinked; he'd been going through the folders for that long already?

"You go on ahead. I'm staying." though he wondered how exactly he was going to accomplish that.

Mello stopped and stared at him. "I don't think so." Mello made a move to grab him so he flinched backwards away from him, he really hadn't wanted to play that card but he couldn't afford to stop and eat at the moment.

The blonde froze and backed away, crossing his arms uncertainly. Matt knew that if Mello stayed much longer, he would probably just decide not to go as well, and Mello was skinny enough as it was.

"I'm in the middle of beating my high score, it's not something I can pause either." he said but didn't look up. He already knew what Mello's expression would be; incredulous.

He heard the sharp intake of breath and knew he was about to get a lecture, which from Mello was more of a one sided shouting match.

"If you're that worried about my health, than bring me back an apple or something." he told Mello. And when he glanced up, Matt smirked as Mello caught the silent jab pointed at him.

The blonde only rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. "How is it that you get to miss meals and I don't?"

"Because I haven't missed many before, and I know when to stop myself before I get exhausted, unlike a certain someone I know." though Matt supposed some of his statements were untrue, as he sometimes went beyond his own limits if it was something important; and this was important.

"I don't think they have apples at dinner." Mello said with a smirk.

"I'm sure you'll think of something." Matt answered and went back to the files. He heard Mello sigh again before he left, and the room was plunged into complete silence.

He really wished things could have stayed simple for a little while longer. He felt as though something was coming to an end, he just wasn't sure _what_. "Damn Kira..."

A name on a folder caught his eye, Beyond Birthday.

He remembered reading about the Los Angeles BB murder cases a few years back, and according to this, Beyond had come from Whammys. He'd been L's backup. And in a connecting folder, another student, only known as A, had committed suicide.

Whammys certainly had their fair share of skeletons in the closet, didn't it?

He backed out of those folders, as it wasn't the information he was interested in, but still stayed under the 'decorations' file. There had to be _something_...

Two sub-folders later, and he was in the middle of L's previous case files. He pulled his goggles free and rubbed carefully at his eyes. Why couldn't there be flashing neon signs that pointed him to what he wanted?

But the fact that there was more stuff on L meant he was getting somewhere, right?

It figured that it would be completely buried though. His stomach rumbled but he ignored it, dinner was almost over at any rate, so even had he decided to leave he wouldn't have made it in time. He hoped Mello was able to bring him something...

The next sub-folder contained cake recipes. Matt blinked for a few seconds before he exited that folder. Cake recipes? What the hell...

The door swung open and crashed against the wall and Matt jumped, startled.

Mello stood in the doorway, grin on his face as though he'd done it purposely, with a plate in one hand and an apple in the other. "There is a thing called knocking, have you heard of it?" Matt asked, as he minimized Whammys and pulled up Solitaire.

"I shouldn't have to knock on my own door." Mello snorted as he strode into the room.

"No, but you didn't have to send the door flying either." Matt replied, though he took the plate that was offered to him.

It was filled with some pasta dish and had a few pieces of bread to the side. It looked good and his stomach rumbled again.

"And you were going to skip dinner completely. Idiot." Mello sat beside him, careful not to knock over the mostly empty coffee mug. Before he ate Matt replaced his goggles. It was strange, but he didn't really mind having them off when he was around Mello.

Well, perhaps it wasn't that strange...

"How did you even get this out of there, doesn't Rodger always hover by the doors to make sure kids don't try and take stuff?" Rodger didn't want the food to leave the dining hall because he didn't want to clean up any messes that would be made.

Chocolate was the _only_ exception.

"I just told him you weren't feeling well, and that if a mess was made I'd clean it with him watching over me." Mello's tone was amused, though Matt could also tell he was being warned not to spill anything, especially as the pasta was covered in a red sauce.

"Thanks." he smiled at Mello who turned away and bit into the apple, his face looked a little pink though...

Matt took a bite of the pasta, it wasn't bad, though he'd never really been a fan of red sauce. But he was hungry, and Mello would probably force him to eat it either way.

"It was boring without you. I almost strangled Near when he asked where you were. Little bastard..." Mello commented a few minutes later.

"Sorry I missed it." he smirked around the fork. Mello's form of _almost _usually involved lunging across the table and grabbing Near by the front of his shirt, at least in the case of the dinning hall. Mello sent him a lopsided grin and continued to eat the apple.

It was a little odd to see the blonde eat something other than chocolate, or something that wasn't dipped in chocolate, and Matt wondered at that. Though perhaps it was just the fact that it was an _apple_...

Mello took the plate from him just as he finished off the reminder of the bread slices. "You have to take that back now?" he asked. Mello nodded. "I can take it." he mumbled. Five minutes wouldn't disrupt the hack. The entire forty minute dinner however, would have.

And Matt supposed that he did need a break…

"It's fine Matt." Mello said as he walked to the door. But Matt didn't feel comfortable with the blonde doing that for him, and Mello's tone had changed in a way that left an odd feeling in his chest.

Mello wasn't annoyed... it was something else. Something Matt couldn't figure out.

"I'm between games so I'll go with you. Maybe I can get more coffee while we're out, though I doubt it." Matt mumbled, as he stood up. Mello looked at him and sighed, evidently having realized that there was no choice in the matter.

"You do realize that if Rodger spots you walking around my cover story goes down the drain?" Mello commented dryly as he opened the door for them.

"If we have to cross that bridge I'll figure something out." Matt called from the bathroom, having run to quickly rinse the cup of the previous leftover coffee. It wasn't like Rodger couldn't be fooled. The man was smart enough, most of the time, to realize when he was being lied to, his time spent managing an orphanage full of genii made sure of it, but Matt knew he could easily spin a lie should a problem arise.

The pair was silent in the hallway, which was void of most children who were either in the common room or their own rooms by then, and even more so as they approached the kitchens. There was a multitude of noise from the other side that made Matt sigh. There would most definitely be no refill of coffee that night.

Even so he followed Mello inside. It was probably time that the cup got properly washed at any rate. Rinsing it out could only do so much. He would just have to get a new cup the next time he needed coffee.

"You wanted to come, so let's go." Mello interrupted his thoughts, and though his tone was annoyed, the image was broken by the smirk on his lips. "You can fantasize about your coffee another time."

It wasn't the coffee he fantasized about....

Not that Matt would ever admit to it.

They walked into the kitchen, which was alive with people running about and putting things away or just cleaning things in general. Mello took the cup from his hands and walked over to a counter and placed the dishes on it; he didn't wait for anyone to spot them and motioned for Matt to leave.

"Rodger never said I had to wait for them." Mello said with a shrug as they headed back to their room. Mello seemed slightly more relaxed than he had been earlier, and Matt wondered if he was just getting annoyed with being cooped up in their room for hours on end.

Though that was mainly Mello's own fault, as he could always go and play sports with the other teens if he so chose. Matt however, had no such problem with staying inside, and in one spot, for long periods of time.

They reached their room in what seemed like record time, though it was probably only because nothing had been going on, including talking. Matt had almost wished that someone had come along to hassle them, at least then the trip wouldn't have been utterly boring.

Though it was probably better that nothing of the sort had happened.

Matt knew it was back to the hack for him, but Mello was left with nothing more entertaining than a book to read. Matt supposed, since the next day was Friday, that Mello should probably study, or he would worry about things the entire day.

He wondered if Mello felt like he would be breaking their ongoing deal if he studied too often. Which as long as he didn't exhaust himself and actually took care of himself, he wouldn't be.

"Hey Mello?" he asked as he tugged his boots off, having not wanted them on his bed anymore.

"Hmmm?" the blonde answered noncommittally as he searched through a small pile of novels he had stacked on the corner of his desk.

"Don't stay up too late studying." Matt said while he lay on his stomach in front of the laptop. Mello looked over at him with a large grin stretched across his face. Matt would never understand why Mello got so excited over studying...

Matt pulled open Whammys again, the hack still holding strong and nothing had happened in his absence. He still had a lot of files to go through, and just in that one main folder.

He had been about to skip over one of the sub-folders, as inside there was nothing more than more finances and cases, when two words stuck out to him.

Death Note.

Matt eyes widened. He knew _exactly_ what that was. Death Note was a series of underground night clubs that Light had established in order to safely complete his business with other criminals.

Though Light _hated_ being referred to as such.

Matt quickly opened the folder and skimmed through its contents. It seemed that L had caught on to the clubs, though it appeared that he only suspected it was some small time dealer or mafia that ran things.

L had no idea about Kira, or he would have connected him with Death Note.

While that was definitely good information, it still wasn't enough to make L want to speak with him privately. He could have easily found out about it on the web, or from someone he or his 'parents' had known.

Death Note was an underground club, not a secret of substantial proportions.

But that was more than promising. Though he couldn't figure out why it was mixed in with those files rather than the previous cases. Unless it was only there because it was a current case...

He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and exited the sub-folder; it was back to the search.

Finally he found a folder that appeared to be what he was looking for. It was simply entitled '12'; which would mean nothing to most people. But, if Matt was correct, lead straight to L.

The mouse hovered silently over the folder as he pressed his finger down to click on it.

Matt swore as an alert popped up in the middle of his screen, flashing red lights on the border stuck out against the black screen and white lettering. He had to pull out, someone was attempting to trace his location. It might even be L, since Matt was in Whammys systems.

He easily pulled out of Whammys and disengaged the hack, and made sure he left nothing that could be traced back to his computer.

He would have to be careful when he went back in the next day. He didn't have a choice but to go back, he still hadn't found anything, and he'd rather not use Mello's real name as a bargaining chip. It just felt wrong... especially since Mello hadn't freely told Matt his name.

But he knew where to look now. It might end up being nothing, or it might end up being his holy grail.

Matt looked up finally and glanced over at Mello, who was asleep on his bed, surrounded by textbooks and chocolate wrappers. Matt shook his head and carefully slid off his bed. He made sure the laptop was on shut down before he closed the lid gently as he placed it on his desk.

He quickly changed and made sure his PSP was on charge, though he probably should have thought of that sooner.

He yawned quietly. It was probably, despite the numerous reasons against it, a good thing that he'd been forced to retire early, he was tired. All those long nights, sleepless or otherwise, in a row and the building stress had really begun to bother him.

He picked up no less than six wrappers from Mello's bed, tossed them into the trash, and gathered the textbooks. Once they were on Mello's desk, he frowned as he watched the blonde.

He was on top of the covers, and Matt knew he wouldn't be able to move him without Mello waking. The only thing he could do was pull what portion of the blanket that was available over the blonde and hope he stayed warm. Thankfully Mello wasn't one to toss around during his sleep, at least not usually. So the blanket _should _stay over him.

Damn Rodger and his stinginess over the heat.

Matt stretched and yawned again. He turned off Mello's lamp and walked over to his own side of the room and got into bed. The sheets were cool underneath and made him shiver as he shifted to get comfortable.

He glanced over at Mello one last time and grinned at the cute smile that now tugged at the blonde's lips, though Matt couldn't think of any reason other than a pleasant dream for it to be there.

He switched his light off and the room was plunged into darkness. He blinked a few times to let his eyes get a little more adjusted. Though he didn't know why he bothered as the PSP was on charge.

He yawned again and rolled over with a sigh. When everything was over with, he was going to take a nice long sleep, everyone else be damned.

He closed his eyes to the darkness and felt sleep tug at him. Though he would remain in that half state for a while longer.

**-End **_**Chaos**_**-**

**AN: **Wow this one got long... And I originally didn't see it getting any longer than 2,000 words. ;D

And this chapter was nice to me after the last two..... I got so frustrated with writing this fic that it became very hard to write it, and I actually had to rewrite most of the last chapter. No worries, I just needed to start a oneshot ( which happened to be 'Dead is the New Alive') to divert my issues onto, this fic is back in working order... for now -_-;

Also, I will probably post this up here a few more times before the end of the fic, but look _carefully_ at the summary for this fic. ^_^

**Special thanks to reviewers: **zchocolatebunniesrulezworld, Amaya-Ai, somerandomdudealso, Enjy, Living in a fantasy, snappygirl, westwardcircle, foreverunloved, Kaisumi23, DeathNotes-Matt-Chan, Kari Twilight Mist, Mezzanotte Nera, Misha2011, xXxCelticXAshxXx

Review?


	16. Chapter 14: Want

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note. K?

**AN**: Wow it's interesting to hear what everyone is thinking about the summary. But.... you all know I can't tell you, right?. :)

But I will tell you, I have finished this fic. It clocks out at 26 actual chapters (though if you add in the prologue, epilogue and the 2nd half of chapter 7, its 29) and damn was I emo last night (which was actually 12am for me as I'm a night owl) when I finished. I have no idea what to do with myself now that its over. T^T

Maybe my new fic will ease my loneliness

**Random replies...:**

_zchocolatebunniesrulezworld_: I have a part time beta, the problem with me is, I need to edit even BEFORE it goes to my beta... I constantly change things so I wont send it to anyone until my own editing is done. But oh well...

_Kara 'Nine':_ That made me laugh, and I'm no better with the alphabet thing... heh (I can't say it backwards... at all. I have to go through the entire thing just for one letter...)

_--Floppy--:_ Wow, I got your review right as I finished editing this! Thank you so much. I have many other fics in mind at the moment (even guilty of a half completed one on my flash drive) so I doubt there will be a Choices in Mello's pov any time soon. Sorry! (but I already promised SD fans I would do one for it, so I'd so that first when I get around to it, and JNRR's possible sequel has been flopping around my brain for quite some time....) As for a few of the other things you mentioned, they will appear in later chapters :)

Oh..... and warning for the beginning...

**Suggested Listening**: Dreamscape **by **009 Sound System (I wrote a certain scene with this on repeat... it really helped lol)**;** Redlight District **by **Porcelain and the Tramps (kami I LOVE this song)**;** S.E.X. **By** Nicklelback (*cough no comment*)**; **Destiny** by **UNSUN

**Chapter Fourteen: **_Want_

_His goggles hung loosely around his neck, and they swayed with every movement he made. He was so warm, too warm, sweat dripped down his body and he groaned softly. _

_The arms around his neck gripped him tighter, pulled him closer, and urged him to continue his merciless pace. He leaned foreword; his hips jerked harshly against the soft flesh beneath him._

_"Matt!" Mello moaned, back arched in pleasure as his fingers scratched at Matt's back; and Matt found the blonde's cries intoxicating. _

_He kissed Mello's already bruised and swollen lips; pleased as they parted to allow his tongue to slide inside. Mello's mouth was hot, wet and tasted faintly of chocolate. Something that was purely and completely addictive._

_Matt hissed as Mello's sharp nails raked down his sides, leaving red lines to appear in their wake. Both panted heavily, gasping for breath but neither dared to stop for it was something they both so desperately craved._

_Mello broke the kiss with another moan, hair fanned out on the pillow like a halo._

_"Ha-harder! Ah!" the blonde gasped as his legs tightened around the redhead's waist._

_Matt's lips found a patch of skin on Mello's neck and sucked gently, until a large red bruise like mark appeared. The blonde groaned lightly as Matt pulled away and completely out of him. _

_He flipped Mello onto his stomach, to answer the blonde's previous demand, and once into a comfortable position entered in one fluid motion, hitting the spot that made Mello scream in ecstasy._

_He kissed Mello's shoulder and pounded into him; Mello's moans got louder and more breathless; his hands fisted the sheets below him tightly._

_Matt knew neither of them would last much longer, too many sensations worked on them. He left one hand on Mello's hip and let the other reach for the blonde's more than neglected member._

_Mello's breath hitched as his fingers glided over the hardened muscle and stroked him harshly, roughly._

"_M-matt.."_

_**-**_

Matt woke up sweaty, breaths coming harshly, and with an unwanted surprise in his boxers. He glanced at the clock and noted that it was just about six. Still too early to normally be up, though he didn't really have a choice after that _dream_.

It was much worse than the last one he'd had. Mainly because... well they hadn't been having sex in the last one. The previous one was tame in comparison. The emotions and sensations were stronger as well, he could still feel the soft, pliant, skin underneath his fingertips, hear the lust filled moans and gasps of pleasure.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes and sighed, there would be no going back to sleep after that dream. Not at all. As quietly as he could he gathered clean clothes and entered the bathroom, he desperately needed a shower, and to get rid of a certain problem.

He turned on the cold water and resigned himself to a freezing shower.

He ended up having to take seven minutes longer than usual, and was left tense and frustrated. Not an ideal way to start the day in his opinion.

Mello was still asleep when he crept quietly from the bathroom, dirty clothes in hand. He eyed his cigarettes and after a moments hesitation, grabbed them, as well as his boots and left the room.

Once he was far enough from their room he tugged the boots on and continued to the main doors, which were always unlocked after the first staff member woke up, and shivered the moment he stepped outside.

Something cold hit his cheek and as he looked up, what looked like white fuzz, spackled his goggles. It was snowing. Just perfect.

He lit up and shoved the stick into his mouth with a barely contained huff of annoyance. He wasn't going to skimp on the nicotine today, not because of the snow, and not after his newest dream.

He sucked in a mouth of the poison and held it in for a long moment.

He was at a loss for what to do. He couldn't keep having those dreams, as they would eventually give what he felt away, but there was no way to actually stop them.

He used glove covered fingers to wipe away the growing snow problem on his goggles. The snow was slushy and left water streaks.

He leaned against the building, cold, and looked up at the sky. Why did things have to be so complicated? He tossed the remainder of the cigarette to the side and lit another one.

The morning was quiet in the early hours, and even the few remaining birds were silent despite the light that brightened up the sky. He watched as the smoke left white trails in the air, barely distinguishable through the thickening snowfall.

He rattled the pack around, only one more cigarette left. Why waste it?

As the second one dwindled down to the filter he pulled it from his mouth and used the end of it to light the third before he pinched the end off and tossed it into the bushes. Rodger would be pissed come spring when all the discarded ends became visible.

Matt didn't honestly care.

The wind began to pick up, and blew snow directly into his face; he knew it was time to head in after that. He liked to smoke, as well as the way the nicotine calmed his nerves, but he didn't like snow down his shirt.

Not at all.

As he closed the doors, snow following him inside, he wondered if it were possible to work in the library again...

But as he remembered Mello's reaction to his last disappearance, he decided not to. Mello would either ignore him or start the Spanish inquisition anew. Neither was something he cared for. He didn't really care for the hack at that moment but knew there was nothing else that would get _that _off his mind.

His boots came off before he entered the room, the empty cigarette pack went into the trash, and the laptop was removed from his desk. It was still cool in the room so Matt pealed back the bottom half of the blankets and crawled under and placed the blankets so that they sat on top of his head, though he now faced Mello's bed.

It wouldn't be too long before the blonde was up and Matt didn't want him to ask what he was working on, especially since he couldn't tell him… yet.

He cracked his knuckles and set to work the moment the laptop was fully operational. The third time was even easier as he knew specifically where to go. The oddly marked folder '12'.

As he clicked on it he almost expected to have to abort the hack again, as it seemed too easy, but nothing happened other than the folder contents being shown. His eyes narrowed, it was more files, around twenty-five or so, but no more sub-folders.

One file caught his eye and he pulled it up under Word; a wild grin snaked it way across his face as he skimmed the contents.

L.

His name was actually _L_.

L Lawliet to be precise. Matt didn't dare speak it out loud, though there was no reason for him to be worried about being overheard, despite Mello's constant shifting, which suggested he could wake anytime.

The files had been so well hidden, if he were any less of a hacker he doubted he would have had the time to search that far and find them, besides the fact that he shouldn't have been able to get into Whammys at all.

He was lucky. Had he skipped over the 'decoration' folder he would never have found L's name.

He allowed the blankets to slip further over his head and began to copy all twenty-five files; they were so few in comparison to the massive amounts Whammys system had that he could easily store them on his computer and look them over without the need to hack Whammys any more.

He placed the files in a folder on his desktop and set a new password, one that Light would never figure out, as the password was his own name.

Matt disengaged the hack for the last time and allowed an appreciative sigh to escape his lips. A small crash later and Mello was up and stumbling around the room; Matt was happy that his face was hidden. He just couldn't look at his friends half naked body without being reminded of the dream, which would undoubtedly cause a bad reaction.

He'd had enough of that in the shower, thank you very much.

He buried his face into the bed with a small groan. He did not need that at the moment! His eyes were closed, goggles pushed up ever so slightly to his forehead, as he willed his thoughts into a different direction.

"Matty? You up?" Mello called quietly, a few minutes later, from only a few feet away.

Matt blinked rapidly; he'd almost fallen back asleep again. He stifled a yawn and shook his head. He'd really gotten up too early. He liked to sleep until at least seven.

"I'm up!" he said far louder than intended as he sat up onto his knees, the blanket fell around his waist and his goggles had somehow ended up crooked.

"Are you almost ready?" Mello asked slightly quieter, for which Matt looked away, and crawled from the bed and didn't bother to respond. All he had to do to get ready was replace his boots and grab a new pack of smokes.

He leaned slightly on the bed and tugged a boot on, and laced up the top part.

"Matt?" Mello asked, his hand touched Matt's shoulder and he jumped. Mello quickly pulled his hand back as though it had been burned. Matt saw the hurt flash in his blue eyes and felt horrible.

Matt had steadily gotten over his fake 'fear' of being touched, at least with Mello, and his reaction, which shouldn't have happened, had obviously hurt the blonde. Mello probably though that he was afraid, or weary of his touch, despite the previous months of him saying otherwise.

The real reason was far different.

It was stupid... but Mello's touch sent shivers down his spine. Made him think of those fanciful touches from the dream.

"Yeah Mello?" he did the laces up on the last boot and turned again, but Mello didn't meet his eyes; facial expression completely blank.

"Never mind." Mello walked off to his side of the room and grabbed his stash of chocolate for the day. Matt felt his heart sink. Mello was definitely unhappy. Why was it always him that ruined things, even accidently?

Matt doubted that even if he made some explanation up at the moment, he would be believed. Or even listened to.

It was going to be a long day. A very long _Friday_. He hoped Mello would still do well on his tests. He stuffed a new cigarette pack in his back pocket and the PSP in one of the front ones.

The walk to breakfast was silent, and not the good kind, and once in the dining hall, filled with noise, it seemed even worse. He picked food out at random and sat down, a seat further than usual as Mello had been emanating 'stay away' vibes.

Matt should have known as soon as he woke up that the day would go wrong. It had with the last dream, so why not with that one too? It was karma. He was getting punished even before Light could get to him.

The thought made him smile a little, despite the rather depressing nature.

Near, the little snoop, eyed both him and Mello throughout the entirety of breakfast. He would have easily spotted the strained atmosphere between them, and would most likely puzzle over it until things either got fixed or he figured it out.

It was what made Near good at the classes, but a pain in the ass in normal life. Well as normal as Whammys ever got, at any rate.

Mello had practically bolted from the room the moment breakfast was over, and Matt saw no need to go back to the room as he knew Mello wouldn't be there. He went to classes early and sat in his usual seat in the back.

He played on the PSP until the first test was handed out. It was the same as any other testing day, except that he couldn't help but glance at Mello every so often. He knew Mello felt his stare, as the blonde would tense a few seconds after he looked.

And yet he was still ignored. Mello was pissed. It hadn't helped that their friendship had been strained as of late, so despite the reprieve of the last day or so, it seemed all the little things had built up on the blondes mind once more.

Matt knew he deserved it, in a way, for all the lies he had to tell. It was only fair that it came back to bite him in the ass, he supposed. He wondered if that would extend to the inevitable visit with L.

If things went badly with L... Matt wouldn't have to worry about trying to keep their friendship.

He hoped the detective would arrive early, rather than late, as it would be easier to catch him alone, as well as leave him ample time to explain things, if he didn't have to worry about the rest of Whammys.

He thought about it all the way until lunch, where Mello still ignored him.

He knew that once Mello got into one of his moods it was best to leave him alone, but if things didn't look any better the next day he would have to step in, even if it caused an argument. He would not let that go on for a week.

Why did Light have to give him such a crappy back story?

He frowned. Just the thought of that bastard was enough to put him in a bad mood. He stabbed lightly at his salad and enjoyed the crunch it made when he took a bite. Tomorrow, whatever happened, the mission would be completely over, his role as spy would be done.

He couldn't find it in himself to regret anything though...

He left lunch before anyone else as he wanted a smoke. He doubted Mello would have chosen to suddenly speak to him either, so he wouldn't miss anything. He could hear the wind howl angrily outside the door and sighed.

He stepped outside into the storm, thankfully the building protected him from most of the wind. He quickly lit up and took a drag. It would have to be a super quick smoke or he would get sick again, and last time he'd been lucky as it had been warmer.

He snorted. He probably wouldn't get sick as much if he went outside more often on a normal basis, but he wasn't going to change on the off chance that was the problem. A jacket would help too…

His inner debate, on whether to stay and smoke a little longer, was taken out if his hands when a particularly strong gust of wind ripped the cigarette from his mouth. He blinked. That was one way to decide something.

He had to forcefully pull open the main doors, as the wind had changed direction and now faced him. He almost hadn't had enough time to get his leg in the door before it slammed shut, snow pounding on the glass.

It was probably time for the rest of the tests at any rate...

He was one of the last few to arrive in class, though a seat in the back was still available. He shook his head, the water droplets flew off in all directions; the snow had melted in the short walk, though it had been more watery to begin with.

His fingers were chilled, and began to ache as they warmed.

His thoughts drifted from the tests, despite them needing his full attention, or at least half. He needed a way to get to L as he couldn't just walk up to him... or could he?

If L was in Rodger's office, and he happened to be going out for a smoke... Matt shook his head, he really should have had things better planned. He'd had plenty of time to do so, despite the hacking and personal issues.

The more he thought on it though, the better that idea sounded. He would have to watch the surveillance, and hope that he didn't get up too late, for the right time to leave his room. If he ended up too early and someone was watching him, and L just happened to exit Rodger's office, it would be obvious he'd known L was there, or that something was up.

And if he were too late, he would miss him completely, and who knew when he get the chance again... though he would also have to pay closer attention to the deserted hallway, as it might just be the area L stayed in. As for L's name... he had to think on how to use that information.

And by the time the final test ended, he had a good idea of what he would have to do.

Matt sighed as he headed to their room.

It wasn't one of Matt's more clever plans, but it was better than outright saying the detective's name. Actually... his plan was rather... lame. He sighed; for all his genius he couldn't come up with anything better...

Really, all he would do was say the detectives name in code, but it would hopefully buy him enough time before Watari or Rodger caught on. 12-1-23-12-9-5-20, or Lawliet. Better than nothing he supposed.

It wasn't as if there was anything else for him to use, no predetermined codes or secrets that he couldn't have found out some other way. If L really was such a great detective, he wouldn't have a problem quickly figuring out the code. A normal child could.

It seemed that when anything important was concerned he could only come up with half assed plans; though to his credit, most of them worked. Matt just hoped that his luck wouldn't run out now, when he was finally doing something right.

For now, there wasn't much to do on that front, but he did have to reconfigure his laptops' passwords, and remotely hack into his own laptop and destroy all of his data. He obviously wouldn't go back to HQ... or his former HQ.

That meant that he couldn't leave any personal data lying around.

Granted nothing had his name stored in it, of that he'd made sure a long time ago, but there were contacts and things he'd rather Light not get his hands on. And though it would be a huge loss if Light did obtain them, Matt knew he could easily make other connections.

He _was_ a big time hacker, among other things.

Mello was in the room, when he walked in, and was on his bed with a novel in hand. It was nice to see that even though Mello was pissed at him he didn't break out the textbooks just to spite him.

Mello didn't look up once, not that Matt had expected him too, as he set up his laptop and moved various other things around the room. Matt spied an empty wrapper near his bed and thought of tossing it at Mello, but decided it would have probably only made things worse.

He reset his current laptops passwords and security first, as it was not a time consuming procedure as the other one would be; the new laptop didn't have all of his programs installed on it, and Matt wished he'd thought to bring along his other few flash drives.

With his old laptop it would be a lot harder to get onto... well not harder per say, more like frustrating.

He had so many security systems protecting it that it would make it difficult, even on a computer as good as that to log into, and despite the money spent on the new laptop it just didn't par up.

He set to work as the laptop finished booting up, and hoped that his typing wouldn't annoy Mello. The last thing he wanted to do was irritate him more, like poking an angry bear with a stick.

Matt hoped that Light didn't suddenly want any of his files or it would be a rather dead giveaway that something was up. He also decided to go through and delete all of the saved video and audio. He wouldn't need them anymore and they were just taking up space now.

He had neglected to put his headphones in so every once and a while he could hear Mello turn a page of his book, it was almost soothing in a way.

He was quickly finished with the adjustments to the first laptop and stretched a little, and rolled his shoulders to ease the tension, before he set on the next task.

He had specially made all the firewalls and security that protected his previous laptop, so that even someone of his quality or above would have a very difficult time getting in without the passwords. The problem was, with the way he set everything up, it was a time consuming, and slightly challenging task for him to log in remotely.

There were layers upon layers to his systems before he could get in.

It was great for protection, but not so great when you were trying to get in.

Matt was little over halfway done by the time dinner arrived, he only noticed as Mello stood up and marked the place in his novel. Mello had hesitated as he looked in his direction, before he stormed out of the room, and didn't bother to shut the door.

To Matt, it was progress.

He paused things, as he knew it wouldn't lock him out quite yet, and left for the dining hall. He actually wanted something to eat, though he was by no means famished. He just didn't think he would get the chance to in the morning, so it was better to get one meal than miss two.

Mello was already at the table along with Near as Matt arrived. He wondered if he and Mello would always 'fight' like that. If they would continue to last days on end until Mello was able to listen to reason or forgave him.

Or until Matt was able to explain things to him...

He ate around half of his meal before he began to push it around the plate, giving the illusion of him having eaten more. He was bored, frustrated, and hated the way Mello _ate _his chocolate.

Or should it be that he hated his mind for thinking of the _other_ things the blonde could possibly do with that mouth?

A small groan of frustration escaped his mouth before he could stop it, and it caught Near's attention, the boy's dark eyes bored into his own, as though they could see through the orange lenses of his goggles.

Though he knew Near held no clue for his action. And if Mello had heard him, no reaction was given, face still turned to the side as he sucked on the edge of the chocolate bar.

Matt gave up and pushed his plate away from him, he'd eaten, even if it wasn't the amount he'd hoped for. There was no reason to stay any longer, so he stood up, smoothed out his shirt and left.

He disliked awkward silences, and with no chance of a change in the immediate future, he was not about to subject himself to that.

He trudged slowly through the hallways until he reached their room; he had to finish the modifications that night.

Not even fifteen minutes later Mello walked quietly through the door, an odd air about him, though he didn't appear angry so Matt doubted it was because of Near. But Matt's thoughts quickly drifted from the blonde to focus on the laptops screen.

He was almost at the most difficult part, the system closest to the laptop.

He ignored the sounds around him and got lost in the virtual world of code. Not too much later he smirked and began to copy various files from the other computer. It had taken longer than expected to break into his own systems, even with his intricate knowledge of the programs.

Matt glanced up and was a little surprised to see Mello's light off and the blonde lying in his bed, not quite asleep. He frowned and checked the clock. It wasn't late enough for Mello to usually want to sleep, though since the blonde wasn't in such a good mood maybe it wasn't so odd.

He knew Mello would be able to fall asleep even as he worked, as he'd proven capable of it before, so Matt didn't worry about having to stop.

Matt fished around the edge of his bed for the flash drive he kept hidden there and pulled it free while his other hand continued to type away. He waited until he had transferred everything of value before he slipped the small drive into the USB port of the laptop.

Once in, and the main folder opened, he chose a program and sent it to the other laptop. It would ensure that everything was corrupted before its deletion, just as a secondary precaution if the deletion was somehow stopped.

He waited until the last possible moment before he cut access to the other laptop. It was rather a shame he had to leave all his things at HQ.... all those programs he'd made. And his games...

Maybe if he were lucky, he could get replacements for them, he'd just been about to beat a new one too.

He yawned widely and stretched. All those stressful days had taken their toll on him, and there was at least one more stressful day to go through. He had an early morning, so there was no way he could stay up any later than he had.

And he hoped that by forcing himself to sleep so early, he would wake early as well instead of just sleep to his normal time. He shut the laptop down and barely took any time to get himself ready before he was under the covers with his light off.

He didn't dare play the PSP as it would have kept him awake. He knew Mello was already asleep, the soft breaths attested to it. He smiled wearily.

"Sleep well Mello..."

**-End **_**Want-**_

**AN: **Buwahaha! I so loved the opening scene, it was fun for me to write (despite the annoying cut I had on the pad of my finger that bitched at me every time it stuck a key...) So, who liked Matt's dream?

Yay, it's finally almost halfway posted! Kami it seemed to take forever to get here, and for those still reading... I luvs you all! And though I don't write for the reviews, I do enjoy getting them and it is always nice to hear what you think.

And really 232 reviews, that's like never going to happen again, like EVER, in another fic. So thank you!

**Special thanks to reviewers: **Kara 'Nine', sugarsuicide, Salvi, Living in a fantasy, Amaya-Ai, RainbowJapan, , Ashes of the Phoenix, snappygirl, foreverunloved, Kyler Conroy, IndifferenceToSociety, Sliceasaurus Wrecks, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, The Sora-muffin, zchocolatebunniesrulezworld, Moonphase9, xHanako, Misha2011, Enjy, Kari Twilight Mist, xSadistxFujix _(if I missed anyone I'm sorry, there were just so many of you this time... ^_^)_

Review???


	17. Chapter 15: L

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note

**AN: **Wow this chapter came like 5 chapters later than I thought it would. But nobody minds, right? Erm… and if anyone hasn't read it (and is interested) the 4-shot "Blood on My Hands" is complete.

And….. I was able to finally fix the glitch that WORD had, so now I can finally write ROGER rather than RODGER. Go me? So i will, when i get motivated enough, go back and change the spelling for te rest of the posted chapters.

Also…… **read** the **LONG** **AN** at the end. It has important information. :)

**Suggested Listening**: Someday **by **Younha**; **This is How a Heart Breaks **by **Rob Thomas

**Chapter Fifteen**_: L _

Matt had awoken before dawn, and it was probably the only day he didn't lament that fact. He had already made a trip to the kitchens and taken his laptop to the library with him; where he allowed himself the luxury of smoking inside, though the window was open a crack.

He had debated for a good minute or not, whether to watch for L in the comfort of his and Mello's room, but had decided that it would only be harder to get Mello to let him leave on his own once the blonde had already seen him.

Never mind let him leave on his own, as on Saturdays Mello usually followed him despite his claim to be bored. Though it was anyone's guess if Mello's would have done that as he'd still been irritated the night before.

But Matt couldn't take the chance, so he'd taken the problem away and slipped out of the room long before the blonde woke.

Mello would probably be rather pissed at him when he saw his bed empty and laptop gone. Pissed off _and_ suspicious. It couldn't be helped. Though Matt had to concede that Mello looked good with a flush to his cheeks.

He sighed and took an extra long drag of smoke and leaned against the wall. Mello was always on his mind, no matter the situation, and in some strange way, it calmed him. Leave it to Mello to be both the problem and the solution.

Matt walked back over to the laptop, cigarette still lit, and swore. He sat down and quickly put in his ear buds.

"_-at it is time to meet Mello, I believe he was ill the last time I visited. I would also like to meet the new third ranked in person. He has climbed the ladder rather quickly, though he could have easily taken the rank of second had he the ambition." a shaggy haired man, who sat in a rather peculiar way, stated from the chair in front of Roger's desk._

"_L you think Matt could take second?!" Roger hissed, clearly surprised, yet not wanting to yell._

Matt's eyes widened. So that was L. He didn't look the part, but then again, looks could be deceiving. The man's eyes were wide, owl like, as he neatly chewed on the edge of his thumb. His eyes seemed to settle on one of the cameras for a moment before they slid to focus on something else.

Had L found one of them so easily?

It was only then, as he watched L, that his brain finally processed the previous parts of the conversation. L wanted to meet with them. Well, Near had already seen him before. He hoped that he wouldn't steal all of L's time, as he knew Mello really wanted to meet the detective.

The conversation seemed to dwindle down and Matt knew it was time to pack up. He shut the laptop, though it was merely on standby now, and put the cigarette out on the table. He took the stairs two at a time, careful not to trip, and rushed out the library doors.

He placed a new cigarette in his mouth and slowed his pace as he neared Rodger's office. He could feel his heart begin to race as he heard the tell tail click and turn of the door knob. He forced his expression to stay blank even as Rodger stopped short.

"What are you doing here?!" Roger asked as Wammy and L stood in the office doorway.

Matt stopped and cocked his head to the side. "Going to smoke, unless you suddenly changed your mind about me smoking inside?" he drawled. Roger looked flustered, much to Matt's amusement.

"No, not at all. Be on your way then..." Roger stated with a frown. Matt shrugged and started to walk off again, though before he did he turned slightly to face them.

"Nice to meet you L 12-1-23-12-9-5-20." he watched L stiffen and his eyes widen slightly. L got the code immediately. Not that he'd expected any less; it was childishly easy.

Roger looked ready to blow a gasket, though he doubted the man had paid any attention to the code, only the fact that he'd known it was L. Matt turned to continue to the main doors, it would be up to L as the next move.

"Roger, is there anywhere else besides your office where I could hold my meeting with Matt right now?" L asked, his voice was steady and betrayed not a hint of his thoughts, only mild curiosity.

"Well, your room is ready but I don't think-" Roger was cut off by L.

"The usual one I presume? That will do nicely. Watari, I do believe you wished to run a few errands, I believe I will be preoccupied for a while so you will have most of the day to yourself." Wammy looked questioningly at L but merely nodded, probably used to L's odd ways after many years.

"Matt, shall we?" L directed towards the redhead. Matt let his lips twitch slightly, though he was careful not to let it form into a smirk.

Part one, success. Now if he could only prevent himself from immediately getting arrested or subdued once they were alone, things would be great.

He nodded to the detective and walked over to him. The man was hunched over, though Matt could tell L would easily be taller than him if at full height. As they walked away, Matt could hear Roger whisper harshly to Wammy, and he hoped he hadn't caused the older man any problems.

Wammy, not Roger. He didn't care if Roger had more problems...

"I have a feeling you know exactly where we are headed." L stated. It was not a question. Matt shrugged.

"Can I smoke when we get there, I'm sure you know this will be a long conversation." might as well ask. The worst the detective would do was tell him no.

"Depending on your answer to my first question, perhaps." L's hands rested inside of his pockets, and now that Matt looked, he had no shoes or socks on. He wondered if the man had any more strange quirks.

Matt immediately recognized the dusty hallway and stopped, L along with him, and opened his laptop. When L didn't move to attack him or demand to know what he was doing, he decided it was alright to continue.

He had already locked Light out of his computer, but a little more precaution wouldn't hurt. He disabled the camera in the hallway, as well as the other ones. If Light were to somehow get into his laptop, he wouldn't be able to track their movements any more, nor would he know that Matt was with L.

He probably should have done it the moment he left the library, but then he might have missed his chance.

"I was disabling all my equipment." he commented, and closed the laptop once more. L's eyes were piercing, as though they could see into his soul, and the man stayed silent as he moved on.

It was a toss up as to what the man had been thinking. Hell he could have been thinking about what to eat for breakfast for all Matt knew.

It seemed that no one was expected to go down there, as the door was unlocked, so Matt wondered if anyone else knew about that hallway, or it was just ignored because of the dust.

The inside of the large room was sparsely furnished, with just one bed, an overstuffed chair, a desk and a table. The room was twice the size of his and Mello's room, and only had one extra addition to it, being the chair.

Matt shut the door and L turned to face him immediately.

"Tell me, how is it that you know my name?" L appeared neither disturbed nor worried, and Matt wondered at that.

"Because I hacked into Whammys and searched through the files. I needed a way to talk to you without Rodger or Whammy with you. And I couldn't do it around anyone else either. Can I smoke?" if Matt hadn't really needed a smoke, he might have been amused at himself.

"You may. Now, I believe you wanted to speak to me..." L trailed off and appeared almost lost in thought.

Matt eagerly lit his cigarette and was calmed the moment the poison reached his lungs. L was being gracious in his decision to allow Matt time to explain. And he wasn't about to waste it.

"L, do you know who Kira is?" Matt asked as his hands shook while he pulled his goggles down, a sign of trust that he knew L would have made note of.

"I have heard the name mentioned before, I believe Kira is the alias of an underground crime lord, if I am not mistaken?" L's thumb was once again beside his mouth and now that Matt's goggles were gone, L' eyes never strayed from his.

"Yes. Among other things, such as the owner of the Death Note clubs, which he uses for major business transactions." Matt watched as L absorbed the information, though he didn't seem surprised. It was also possibly that L didn't believe he was being completely truthful.

Matt wouldn't blame him. Though L did stay silent as he waited for Matt to continue.

"You caught Kira's attention and he became intrigued with you, witch turned into obsession. But recently-" he took a long drag from the cigarette, and turned his head to blow the smoke away from L. "-recently... you began stepping on his toes, so to speak. Began catching a lot of his associates and jailing them. It cut majorly into his business."

"And that is why you are here? To stop me." L said the last part as a statement, not a question, as though he had already formulated everything in his mind.

"No." Matt said and locked eyes with the detective's. He needed to make the man understand...

"Originally... I was sent here as a spy, to gather any and all information about you. About who you are, what you looked like, what your name was. Everything. I was to send weekly reports about things I found out about this place and you." Matt's fingers gripped the cigarette tighter as he drew it from his mouth.

To speak of his job now... made him sick.

"And then your orders changed when I began to interfere with your bosses business." L finished for him.

"Yes. But you have something wrong." Matt paused and looked despairingly as the cigarette was crushed between his fingers. "Light Yagami is not my boss any more." he now held L's full attention. For he had just given Kira a name, and soon a face.

"This Light Yagami, is Kira? Why give the information so freely? There is nothing for you to gain." L's voice was mildly curious and his mind seemed to go over all avenues in his head, though Matt doubted the detective would get the exact one.

"Throughout the entire time I've been here, with the exception of the first transmission, I have withheld data from Kira. And until recently I didn't even understand why I would do that, why I would jeopardize my mission. I was supposed to get in, get the information, and get out. Nothing more, nothing less." to speak like that, Matt felt some of his tension lessen. To finally tell someone things that had weighed on his mind for weeks, and even in some cases months...

"I met someone, who helped me open my eyes beyond my existence as a spy." Matt stopped; he needed to think of how to word it. He would tell L as much as he could, but not that he was in love with Mello. That was his secret alone to bare.

"He was a complete asshole for the first little while I knew him. And even after he warmed up to me being his roommate, there was really no reason for me to hide things from Light. But I think I knew that I would end up, or at least knew that I wanted to be, his friend. It started out with me keeping things about Mello from Light, my conversation with you, then things about Wammys, tampering with the video and audio I recorded."

There was something different in L's stance, he was less guarded, but would still be ready should anything happen. It was enough, to Matt.

"Then just four days ago. I was ordered to kill you." Matt flicked the spent butt to the carpet and pulled out a new one; he let it sit to the side of his mouth. He'd seen L's eyes narrow just a fraction, but the fact that he hadn't been handcuffed yet, spoke volumes.

"It's almost a relief that he decided to do something so drastic. It forced me to make a decision, one that I had been fighting with for some time." Matt paused, and swallowed almost painfully; he wasn't used to having to say so much at one time.

"You asked why I gave this information freely. Why I would effectively turn myself in when I probably could have killed you?" though L hadn't said all of that, he knew it had been implied, even before Matt had outright told him he was supposed to kill him.

"I won't have to see my best friend break apart when he finds his idol, his role model, dead. I've never had someone so close to me, and I won't destroy his life to spare mine. And now knowing what I do, I couldn't let Kira continue on. It's amazing what a person can become numb to until they have a reason to see it."

Matt closed his eyes and held out his hands. "I'll tell you everything else I know, just make sure everyone evacuates from here first. I covered all my tracks carefully, but it's possibly that he will want a kill confirmation. Something I obviously can't give." Matt was calm on the outside.

But inside... it felt as though worms twisted and swirled around in his gut. No matter what happened, Mello was going to be hurt. But at least it wasn't L that was the reason; that was better, right?

He doubted that L had any handcuffs, but he was sure the detective would find something.

He felt a cold, boney hand turn his left palm up, before something was placed in his hand, and not around his wrist. He opened his eyes in confusion, and glanced at L after he spotted the candy that sat innocently in his palm.

"I do believe that Mello would be rather upset if you disappeared, whatever the reason." was all the detective said while he ate, what appeared to be, a marshmallow. Matt could not be sure where the detective got the candy, but he supposed he may as well try it.

If it were drugged, he'd find out rather quickly. And if it wasn't... Matt would have more to explain.

He unwrapped the small red candy and popped it into his mouth after having removed the cigarette. It was a cinnamon candy, Matt didn't mind them. And when it became apparent he wasn't about to drop to the ground in drug endued unconsciousness, he turned quizzically to the man before him.

"I believe we have more to discuss, as I feel you have merely skimmed the surface of your job. As well as what Kira knows about this place." Matt nodded to L, and gently bit into the candy and jerked as something squished from inside it.

"Ah, I see you found the chocolate inside. A rather odd candy, that I must admit to not taking a liking to." L shrugged, barely noticeable, and sat in his peculiar way on the armchair across the room.

Cinnamon and chocolate. Matt rather liked it.

Over the next two hours Matt explained, in great detail, everything about his _previous_ job. Which included where HQ was, as well as any known contacts and associated that Matt could remember off hand.

Matt had given L control of the laptop, open with most of the files he'd pulled from the old one. He did have to keep his own contacts hidden after all.

L then made a call to Watari, who was supposed to send police to HQ to detain Kira and anyone else there. Matt hadn't felt even the slightest bit guilty.

"So, what happens now?" Matt had lit another cigarette, which left only two more in the pack, and leaned back against the wall.

"Now, you go to lunch." the owlish detective said a moment after a quick glance at the time, which read 11:53am.

"That's it? I'm not going to be arrested, or punished at all?" Matt was more than a little confused. L was a detective, the world greatest perhaps, wasn't he supposed to bring people like Matt to... justice?

"You will be permitted to stay at Wammys, and wherever we evacuate to, but you won't be allowed on your own again. You will work for whomever I choose as my successor." L said while he stuffed another marshmallow into his mouth, quickly followed by another using only his thumb and index fingers.

"No." Matt told him. L stared levelly at him as he waited for him to continue. "I will only work with Mello."

L smiled slightly. "I believe that arrangement shall be just fine. If you wish to eat, you may want to leave now."

Matt nodded to the detective and turned from him, and left out the door, though he made sure to shut it behind him. If only things could go that well with Mello...

Matt knew that he needed to speak with the blonde, and soon, preferably before L gave the word that they were leaving. Which according to L, would be a soon as dinner or as late as the next morning.

More than likely it would be around dinner. Matt knew he wouldn't keep the children in danger for longer than necessary.

Mello would more than likely not be happy, in the slightest, but it was best for him to hear it all from Matt. He hoped, that with L on his side, Mello wouldn't turn out to hate him...

But whatever might happen, it seemed that so far, his decision had been the right one.

-**End **_**L**_-

**AN** : So, thoughts on this chapter? You have no idea how incredibly hard I find it to write L, or Light for that matter, which is why I don't write fics for them. Well, that and im obsessed with Matt and Mello. But I did at least an OK job on L?

And as of right now the name of the next chapter is "End" or some form of that. But don't be fooled by the title, the fic isn't ending quite yet. ^-^

**Special thanks to reviewers : **Ironytoday, Living in a fantasy, DeathNotes-Matt-Chan, Yaoiluver190, Floppy-IDon'tCareWhatYouThink, Pyroluminescence, Kara 'Nine', ShyClown, kat716, Persona'sHostage, xHanako, The Sora-muffin,snappygirl, DarthxInvader, fadedlines, RainbowJapan, Anon, xzombieViolinistx, Enjy, zchocolatebunniesrulezworld, Moonphase9, Salvi, foreverunloved

**LONG AN**:

**Shinigami**: _*shuffles into room with head hung low and slumps into a chair*_

I give up…… Choices murdered my muse…. So I can't write the fic I had been planning to after I finished Choices….. EPIC FAIL!

But that's good for you guys…. Because it's either a choice of my DN fic dealing with a virus _(which is half completed already but was put on the back burner when I started NAA)_ or…… 'The Silent Place'….. which happens to be JNRR's sequel…

So, I'm going to give you the reviewers a choice, but I need to know soon as I don't like to take breaks from writing as I tend to.. get obsessed with other things if left to my own devices…. Meaning I would probably leave the DN fandom for a LONG while.

Which fic would you prefer me to write/finish. (mind you it wouldn't be out for a while I generally like a fic to be 6 or more chapters ahead of what I post.)

**1: (Currently untitled virus fic)**

A strange sickness invades Whammys. During the warm summer months of mid July and august a sickness spreads like wildfire throughout the populous of Wammys. It starts off with very minor symptoms; chills, coughing, runny nose, sore throat, fever.... but it gets worse. You lose all energy to move as the fever gets dangerously high, loss of fluids, bloody noses, inability to hold foods, coughing up blood... and death. Mello and Matt centric. (I cant really say any more about it as it would ruin the surprise, mind you this was started MANY months ago) But I will tell you it doesn't have zombies……

**2: The Silent Place (WSF, NAA & JNRR's sequel)**

Mello is finally getting used to life with one hand and is patching up his relationship with Matt, which had been tried many times because of Mello himself. They are living relatively peacefully in England, in medium sized flat, and Mello feels... comfortable. And that was when the trouble started. After a set of strange phone calls, and the acute feeling of being watched, Mello discovers that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just cant escape your past. (again that is all I can say without spoiling the fic)

_-I would also like to know if you would rather have it continue in the same first person style the rest of the series has had, or break away into 3rd person._

I have a poll created for this, however you can review this chapter or vote on the poll, I will add everything up in a week when the voting ends.

I will post the results in one week, as to what you all have decided. OK?

**So far though The Silent Place is winning, and my beta wants me to write it in 3rd person. So…**


	18. Chapter 16: End

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note

**AN: **This is actually my favorite chapter of the fic so far. So yeah...

Y'know..... I originally thought this chapter was going to be short, like 2,000 words or something... what the hell had I been thinking?! It turned into a _monster_! Well, only fitting for the end of the first half. Heheheh.

And remember, there are _**11 more chapters**_ to post, so _**this is not the end**_**!!!**

**Suggested Listening**: Panic Switch **by** Silversun Pickups**;** Uprising **by **Muse

**Chapter Sixteen**_: End _

Matt wasn't quite sure what to make of the scene that greeted him as he opened the bedroom door.

Mello sat at the end of his bed silently, boots firmly planted on the wood flooring, hunched over so that his elbows rested on his knees as his hair fell into his face, which covered his eyes from view.

From what Matt could see, his expression was completely blank, and the blonde had yet to say a word. There was an odd feeling in the air, it unsettled Matt, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Mello? Are you alright?" the words almost stuck to his lips, and he closed the door behind him. Mello laughed. But it wasn't a laugh Matt had ever heard directed towards himself, at least not since his first week there.

It was cold, harsh and emotionless. _Bitter_.

Mello looked up suddenly, blue eyes hardened like steel. Matt unconsciously felt himself go on the defensive.

"Am I alright?" Mello questioned softly, his tone flat and yet all too dangerous. Like the calm before a storm or a cornered animal.

"No. No I'm not alright." Mello stood suddenly; his voice had gained a slight edge to it and he began to pace. "You fucking _lied _to me!" he shouted and his voice lashed out like a whip. Sharp and unexpected.

"About what?" and Matt still couldn't make the connection.

"You are a fucking spy. A _spy_, Matt!" the blonde roared, hands clenched into fists so tight the leather gloves crackled at the tension.

Matt felt his blood freeze and an unbelievable amount of fear washed over him. "How did you-"

"I was sick of you disappearing all the damn time, you were worrying me. I thought you might be doing something stupid. Instead I find you speaking with L and spilling all of your dirty secrets. Silly of me to have been worried about a spy, isn't it?" Mello's body quaked with the effort not to attack him, hit him, do _something_ nasty to him. And that was the only reason Matt had any hope that Mello might cool off after this, and possibly be able to forgive him.

"Then you know why I couldn't tell you earlier. Fuck Mel, you know damn well what would have happened had I told you." despite himself, Matt's voice rose, an impossibly bad idea.

"What?! That I would have ratted you out? Earlier on maybe, but not now I wouldn't have! If everything you told L was true, I fucking wouldn't have..." Mello voice broke and to Matt's horror a tear slid from one of Mello's eyes before it was roughly brushed away by a gloved hand.

Matt took a step foreword and noted how Mello watched all his movements with a sharp eye. "I couldn't risk telling you on the off chance that our friendship didn't mean enough to you to keep it a secret."

"I can't fucking believe you." Mello whispered and shook his head. The second Matt was close enough he lashed out. His right fist came down hard on Matt's jaw and he heard, more than felt, the impact.

He probably could have blocked it, but he knew he deserved it.

Mello seemed to struggle for control for a moment, but he hadn't advanced on him or even made a move to hit him again, though he knew the blonde more than certainly wanted to. Mello closed his eyes for a moment and sucked in a breath before he strode to the door.

"Mello-"

"I _can't _deal with you right now. I need more time to think." the door slammed behind him and Matt pulled himself into a seated position on the floor. He yanked off his goggles and threw them across the room.

Well wasn't that just fucking _perfect_?

Everything had gone over so well regarding L that he really should have _known_ that it had been too good to be true. That it was impossible for everything to have stayed on the positive end of the spectrum.

Things could go one of two ways. Mello would partially forgive him, though Matt knew there would be a rift between the two of them now. Or... _or _Mello wouldn't forgive him.

Despite that... Matt couldn't bring himself to regret not having told the blonde. There had been no way of knowing if he wouldn't have told someone. But damn if he didn't hate the situation.

Matt laughed, halfheartedly, that he couldn't even use his computer to entertain himself with for the moment, as it was with L.

The only thing that Matt knew, was that he needed a cigarette. And he didn't really care if Rodger walked in as he smoked it. His fingers had already pulled one from the package and stuffed it into his mouth before he'd even had time to process what he had done.

His hands shook, enough that it took him a few tries to light it.

He carefully crawled into a stand, even as black spots moved across his vision and he felt dizzy. Mello had certainly held nothing back from that punch. His jaw already ached, and he held no doubt that he would have a large purple bruise sometime in the very near future.

He was probably lucky his jaw hadn't broken.

The clock on the nightstand said something like 12:13, but Matt had no interest in eating with everyone else, if he could even stomach something at all. He leaned against the desk and smoked the cigarette slowly.

Mello wasn't the only one who needed to calm down.

Matt rolled his shoulders in an attempt to rid himself of the tension that had settled there though it ultimately did him no good. He needed something to distract himself, as his games just wouldn't be able to cut it at the moment.

As he reached the end of the cigarette he decided on making coffee. At least he could think over things with a strong brew in his hands. Lunch would be over soon, and the kitchen would probably be bustling soon, but he really didn't care.

He stubbed the remainder of the cigarette out on the desk, not at all caring about the black smudge that it left. Matt didn't bother to go view himself in the bathroom mirror, as he already knew what his face would look like. It wasn't something a little water could fix, so why bother?

He sighed as he left the room.

Why did things always become so complicated in his life? Couldn't, for once, something go right?

He supposed that after his lunch he would start to pack, as he actually had things to bring now. He would have packed Mello's things as a peace offering if he didn't think it would make matters worse.

"Matt!" a familiar, and unwelcome voice, called out to him. Of all the people to run into when he didn't have his goggles. He stopped and waited for Roger to walk up to him.

"What happened to your face?" Roger demanded. There was disbelief, worry and something else in the mans eyes. To Matt, it spelled trouble.

"It wasn't L if that's what you were thinking." he stated blandly. As much as he liked Roger to do his head in with worry, he didn't need to make trouble for L. Not when L had let go of so much concerning his transgressions.

But a new glint in Roger's eyes had Matt just as annoyed, if not more. "I knew that boy would do something to you sooner or later, he always does with his roommates-"

Matt knew Roger had immediately locked onto Mello. And it rather pissed him off that Roger could think so little of the blonde, especially as he didn't know of the circumstances.

"Leave Mello alone. It's not really his fault. L will inform you of the situation sometime today, or maybe Wammy will. Either way, Mello was provoked." Matt stated. Having Roger barge off to find Mello, and probably give him a hard time, would have done nothing good for the situation. Matt also didn't care, at this point, who knew what anymore.

While Roger stood there, mouth open in surprise, Matt quickly made his way to the kitchens. Though he took care to go the long way; he didn't want Roger to follow him.

Matt didn't bother to listen in, as he would have made coffee regardless of a fully staffed kitchen, so he was rather surprised to see only the one person who stood by the fridge.

L stood, or rather hunched, in between the island counter and the refrigerator with a plate that contained a large piece of cake on it, fork poised by his lips.

"Things did not go well I expect?" L asked mildly around the cake.

Matt smiled crookedly. "Mello was listening in on us. And no, not good at all." he shrugged, though he wished he'd thought to retrieve his goggles as they made him feel more protected from L's bottomless gaze.

But Matt wasn't there to chat about his problems. He was there for coffee. L watched him as he walked into the pantry and selected his coffee. He went for the Sumatra blend rather than his preferred hazelnut.

The Sumatra blend was rather strong, and slightly bitter if made wrong, so Matt felt it fit his mood better than the soothing flavor of hazelnut. "Do you drink any?" he called over his shoulder as an afterthought.

"Not usually... but I suppose a cup couldn't hurt." L replied, voice once again muffled by his sweet.

Matt added extra water to the pot, which he filled at the sink, and turned the coffee maker on. He turned and hopped onto the counter, and stuck another unlit cigarette in his mouth. Maybe he should think of getting into lollipops or something?

"Why are you here?" Matt asked, though he really hadn't intended to make conversation. Thought Matt knew that with L, he needn't elaborate is question further, as the detective would understand his meaning.

"Cake helps me think." L said while he procured himself another slice. Matt supposed that they all had their addictions... and there probably wasn't anything left for L to do at the moment until all the preparations had been made for the move. And Wammy, or rather Watari, was probably already on that.

"Is there any real food in there?" he asked and L's head poked out from inside the fridge to blink owlishly at him. "I suppose you are not a fan of sweets then?" L said, with an almost pout that tugged at his lips.

Matt had to wonder, at that moment, if Mello got his chocolate fixation from L's apparent love of sweets, or if Mello had discovered the confection all on his own.

At the thought of the blonde, Matt felt very tired. No one was as good at exhausting his emotions as Mello was...

"I believe there are all the ingredients for a salad in here... however I'm afraid that for my arrival many sweets were placed in here, so everything else seems to have been pushed to the far back." L held a bag of lettuce by the corner, and only by his thumb and index fingers, as though it were something alien and dangerous.

"I doubt I could eat anything heavier at the moment." Matt slid off the counter and took a cursorily glance at the coffee before he walked over to L. He took the bag with a small upturn of his lips, and pulled a dressing from the fridge at random.

Matt loved premade salad mixes. Though he knew that everything was made fresh daily, so it was probably the last little bit that didn't go out for lunch. He was at least lucky in that aspect.

Matt went to the same cupboard the cups had been in and found a small bowl, probably made for soup, and brought it back to the island counter. He quickly assembled his small lunch, and once everything was put away, checked on the coffee.

With so little being made it was ready in just the right amount of time. He pulled free two cups and filled them, and rinsed the empty pot before he replaced it. He didn't care to do more than that to it.

Matt eyed the sugar, and after a few seconds thought, added two tablespoons to his. He saw L perk up at the sight of the sugar bowl and sighed. Considering the man had just eaten two rather overly sweet looking pieces of cake, after who knows how many marshmallows and candy during their talk, it shouldn't surprise him to find the detective probably would want to drown his beverages in sugar.

"Tell me when to stop." Matt said while he poured sugar from the bowl, rather than use the spoon. L gave a wide grin and when the coffee had practically turned to syrup, and motioned for Matt to stop.

Matt got another spoon and stuck it in the concoction. He watched in fascination as the spoon took more than a few seconds to hit the side of the cup, having nearly stayed right where he'd placed it.

Well, as long as he didn't have to drink it...

"You do not seem surprised by my habits, I wonder why that is?" L spoke, as he stirred the coffee turned liquid sugar.

"When one lives with Mello, it gets rather hard to be surprised by these things." though Matt did have to admit that Mello's habits were a bit less strange. At least in his opinion.

Matt took a sip of the coffee and found it to be too hot, though with no cream or milk in it to cool it down it wasn't a surprise. Instead, he finally began to eat his small salad, while L sipped noisily at his 'coffee'.

Though the detective had proved to be more than a little strange, Matt found that he rather liked him. He was interesting. Not what one would expect of the great letter L, and yet once you got more used to him, everything seemed to fit.

Matt wondered what other oddities the man had. They both looked up at the sound of chairs being pushed aside and it was the cue that lunch had finished.

"I believe that I shall be heading back to my room. I do not wish to be caught up in the hordes of children." L said as he slowly moved towards the door. Matt nodded to him and watched him disappear behind the doors.

Matt finished the salad quickly and set the bowl into the sink. He debated whether or not to take the coffee with him, but decided to just finish it while he was there. Who knew what the conditions outside were, it was probably snowing, and he wanted a cigarette without having to worry if the coffee would be spilt or turned into ice coffee.

The dark brown liquid was only marginally cooler than the last time he'd tested it, but it wasn't scalding anymore. He leaned back against the counter, cup cradled in his gloved hands, and drank slowly.

The sounds grew louder as the children passed by the doors, and flooded into the hallways to do whatever it was they wanted on the chilly Saturday. Matt closed his eyes with a sigh. Saturday's were rankings.

He wondered what Mello had gotten, if the scores were still up.

He'd had much more to worry about than the scores up until that point. He hoped Mello's score hadn't been affected too much by their original disagreement.

The side doors opened, to the left of him, and Matt watched as the kitchen staff members began to pile into the room with trays of dirty dishes. All being loaded into the washers or into the sinks.

Matt quickly swallowed the remains of the coffee, it burned his throat, and placed the now empty cup in the sink. He hoped it wasn't blizzard like conditions outside... thought it was probably was if his current luck held out.

He quickly left the kitchen and had to smile a little at the exasperated expression of one of the workers, and crossed the hallways and main entry until he was outside on the steps. Everything was covered in white, though it was only flurries for the moment, and Matt couldn't help but think that it felt a little bit warmer despite everything.

He lit the cigarette he'd had out earlier and hunched over one of the waist high railings, elbows on the snow covered metal, while snow seeped through his sleeves and froze his arms.

Matt let his eyes wander, going from one snowy white patch of land to another while he smoked. He liked the quiet of times like that, with nothing but the slight noise of the snow as it fell, because it was never quite complete silence.

It was peaceful.

It was then that something caught his eye and he was immediately on alert as that had been no animal. He tossed the cigarette to the ground and leapt from the steps and into the snow, the only thing that kept him from getting bogged down in the snow and soaked were his boots.

He took the corner sharply and was just in time to see the shape disappear around the next edge. He kept his breathing controlled while he ran, as quietly as he could, through the snow. The new snow covered up much of the _crunching_ sound, and for that he was grateful.

His heart raced, and it had to do with more than the impromptu exercise; he really wished he had a knife or his gun on him. There was just something bad about what he felt...

He urged himself on and rushed the corner and noted how the shape hovered by the window, and tackled them to the ground. His eyes widened almost comically as he saw who it was.

"Vermillion!" he gasped. The man underneath him laughed, a deep scratchy sound. Though they still struggled with one another, Matt had been able to pin the mans arms and sit on his legs.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Matt hissed. The snow fell faster around them now, and Vermillion's black jacket was covered by the tiny white flakes in an instant.

"I'm here to complete your job, since Light knows you won't." Vermillion smiled; yellowed teeth bore in obvious amusement.

"What do you mean?" Matt tried to sound confused, and in reality he was, but he was also terrified.

"Oh don't try and play innocent with me. Takada tipped Light off about your odd behavior weeks ago, and low and behold when he checked your computer, there were things sitting on there you hadn't mentioned. Like your meeting with L that you tried to delete."

Matt felt cold at those words, colder than he should have, like his insides had frozen solid. Light had known. Had known for a while, a long while, that he was a traitor. Hell even before Matt had finally stopped deluding himself.

Light had all of his pass codes, and it wasn't until recently that Matt had really hidden things. He hadn't thought it was necessary... and now he was paying the price. He knew that if Vermillion was there that there were others, as Vermillion was always sent in with a team.

Which meant that Wammys, as of right then, was a warzone.

Vermillion took Matt's slight distraction as an opportunity and jerked a hand free and punched Matt, which knocked him into the snow. Matt rolled to the side as Vermillion slashed at him with a hunting knife. Vermillion's specialty was knives.

But _only_ if he was able to catch you.

Matt wasn't all that good with fighting, he knew enough to get himself out of a jam, as his wiry build made it impossible for him to win against stockier built people. But he knew he could beat Vermillion.

The older man had more experience, his salt and peppered hair attested to it, but Matt was smarter. And quicker.

Vermillion lashed out at him and Matt used the slippery snow to dodge and kick the mans legs out. Vermillion began to recover when Matt tackled him again, and made sure the knife wasn't pointed at himself.

He applied pressure to Vermillion's wrist until the knife dropped into the snow, visible only by the black grip.

Matt was, by no means, a stranger to his next act. He took hold of the knife, fingers snaked around the handle, and used it to slit Vermillion's throat. If the man had a chance to call for backup Matt would have been in real trouble.

It was odd though, Matt thought as he wiped the blood off on Vermillion's vest, that he should have to fight against those he used to work with. But Matt didn't spare another thought on it, he needed to find L, and Mello.

L first as he knew where the detective was, in a generalized manor; he could only hope that Mello would be safe until he found him, as he wasn't a target. At least Matt hoped not.

As an afterthought he took the ear piece from the dead mans ear and placed it in his own, and attached the connecting radio to his belt. If anyone broke the probably imposed radio silence, Matt would know.

It might just give him the edge needed to keep everyone alive.

The only problem was, Matt didn't know what Light's orders to those men were. Was it a simple assassination, as well as an order to kill him? As Light hated traitors.

Or was it an extermination? If it was the latter, then no one would be spared.

Matt shivered at the thought as he pulled open the main doors. It was dreadfully silent, and Matt knew he needed too hurry.

He raced down the hallways, and was slightly relieved to still see kids in the common room as they played and joked about, though he hadn't run into any of the staff. He didn't bother to stay quiet, as the assassins wouldn't connect the extra noise as a potential problem; they were infiltrating an orphanage after all, and the only real agent was Matt himself.

He wiped the snow damp hair from his face and ran passed the familiar dusty table and to the door he'd exited only a short while ago. He didn't knock and instead threw the door open to reveal a startled Wammy and L, the latter who had a fork halfway into his mouth.

"We have a huge problem." he gasped and stumbled into the room. L's eyes immediately rested on the knife he held in his hands and the detective's eyes narrowed.

"Light hacked my computer without my knowledge, he knew I was a traitor before I had even come to a decision. He sent out a team to kill you and possibly me. But knowing Light, his orders could also include everyone here."

Wammy looked alarmed and shared a look with L.

"Watari, please start the evacuation process as discreetly as possible." Wammy nodded to L's request and hurried from the room.

"Can you protect yourself?" Matt asked as the detective unseated himself. L seemed to ask him the same question, though he stayed silent.

"Spy, and assassin, remember?" Matt replied dryly while he toyed absently with the knife in his hands. L nodded.

"I can handle myself." L replied.

"Do you happen to know where Mello is?" the longer things went on, the more worried he became about the blonde. If L said he'd be fine, then Matt would have to trust him, Mello however...

"I do not." L said softly. Matt nodded, and swore in his head, as he turned heal and ran. He would check the library first, as he knew Mello liked it quiet while he brooded, and then their room. If he was in neither of those places, then he would search everywhere else until he found the blonde.

"Why did it have to snow today.." he whispered. The snow was brilliant cover, as no one would be outside. The only kink in that plan had been Matt himself, who smoked. Maybe it was a good thing he and Mello had fought.

He might not have been outside at that time otherwise, not until it was too late, which he hoped it wasn't already.

He skidded to a halt in front of the large, heavy, library doors and sucked in a breath while he carefully opened the doors. If there were others in there, that hadn't been told to evacuate yet, he didn't want to cause a panic, or get detained by one of the staff.

He did a quick search of the first floor, which had no one on it, and the second floor once he was at the top of the stairs. There was no one aside from Near.

"Near, go to Roger's office now. L wants to see you." he told the other boy as calmly as he could. He didn't have time to explain, and he figured Near would be more likely to hurry to Roger's office with the promise of L waiting for him.

He may not have liked the small albino all that much, but he didn't want him to get killed either. And that would happen all too easily in a deserted library.

He took the steps two at a time and forced himself not to run until he was out of the library. He headed off in the other direction, which led him to their room. The door was ajar and he sighed as he pushed it open.

He stood, frozen at the figure that stood in front of the window, as it definitely was not Mello, despite the blonde hair.

"Matt how nice to see you again, Amity is so happy!" the blonde haired assassin squealed in joy and clapped her hands together with a large smile. Amity, also known as Misa Amane, was dressed in all black, which only accentuated her blonde hair that was for once pulled up, and though she had no visible weapons Matt was wary of her.

She wasn't in the top five for her brains, but she was there for her skills despite being easily distracted.

It always amazed Matt how unprofessional the woman could act, or maybe he should call her a child, as that was how she acted.

"Can't say it's nice to see you Misa." he slipped the knife into his back pocket and pulled out a cigarette, she would be trained on his weaponless hands, and hopefully wouldn't expect him to be armed.

"Awww! Why do you always call Amity that when she's on a job?" the blonde pouted, though Matt noted how her eyes took in every bit of his form as she assessed him. She was an idiot, or maybe just naive, but she was good at her job for the most part.

"Amity wondered whose room this was. Amity should have known it was Matt's because of the cigarettes." she swayed from side to side, foot to foot, but Matt kept his attention on her hands, as it always told when she would attack.

"But Amity has orders to kill you. You got on Light's bad side." she touched her hip, ever so slightly, as she spoke and Matt immediately grabbed for the knife in his pocket and sprang foreword.

Misa jumped to meet him halfway and he was only just able to block her gun with the flat side of the knife to the barrel, though her other hand went for his in order to get rid of said knife.

His teeth were grit and he let his legs collapse under him, which surprised her, and kicked out at her. He caught her in the chest and she stumbled backwards but wasn't fazed in the least.

She cocked the gun and fired at him, he moved at the last second and it missed his head by a hair. She fired again and he dove for the bed closest to her. He used it as a spring board and flung himself at her as she aimed her gun.

She fired as he landed on her. They rolled, a pile of tangled limbs, and collided with Mello's desk. Matt winced, she'd caught him in the arm though he was sure it was only a graze. Her elbow connected with his head and knocked him aside, though he didn't let up on his grip of her arm.

Instead he used the momentum to pull her towards him and twist her arm behind her and forced her to the wood floor. "Ow!" she whined.

He planted a knee on her back and the knife came in view again. He hated to kill, but it was kill or be killed. Or have someone else here, who couldn't defend themselves, get killed. "Sorry Misa."

She struggled harshly, and it made it hard to keep a good grip on her, he needed to end it quickly. He raised the knife, and aimed for the base of her neck, when a gasp broke his concentration.

Mello stood in the doorway his face contorted into shock; the blinding lights of the hallway contrasted with the darkened room and made the blonde's silhouette stand out more firmly. Misa took the chance to bring her leg back and kick him in the head, and once his hold on her failed she knocked him into the wall with a harsh _crack_.

"Oh, you must be Mello. You're on Amity's list too!"

Matt, though still dazed, stumbled upwards and used the knife and hit Misa in the back of the head. She dropped like a sack of potatoes, and it was only then that the smell of fire reached Matt's nose.

"What the hell? Fire?" he said.

"T-that's what I came to tell you. The building is on fire, they were getting everyone out, but Roger was told that you were looking for me." Mello mumbled, though he had stumbled over the first word.

Matt stuck his head out the door, and frowned at the smoke that clogged the way to the main doors, and the faint glow from the other direction. They would have to take the chance going down the stairs in the smoke.

They couldn't jump from the second story, well they _could_...

Matt didn't need to flick the light on to know where he'd left his goggles, and he slipped them over his eyes the moment he picked them up.

"We need to leave." He grabbed Mello's arm and dragged him from the room; Mello didn't even protest. Matt knew there was going to have to be a discussion on what the blonde saw, but it was definitely not the time for it.

"Cover your mouth if you can." he told Mello. Matt was thankful for his goggles, which protected his eyes from the sting of smoke, though it did nothing to help the coughing as the heat and smoke invaded his lungs.

He led Mello down the stairs carefully, if either of them fell the other would follow shortly after. He counted the steps until he was sure he'd reached the ground floor, and made sure Mello didn't trip.

The smoke was thickest there, and nearly impossible to see, but Matt could feel the heat. The closer they got to the entrance, or in that case their exit, the hotter it got until it was almost unbearable and he could see the bright orange glow through the smoke.

They couldn't get out that way.

Matt scanned his memory of rooms closest to them. The classrooms were in the other direction, and if the second floor on that side had already started to burn, the first probably was as well. It would have to be Roger's office, which they had to have already passed.

"Why are w-we going back?" Mello coughed mid sentence though he didn't try to stop. It occurred to Matt that the only reason he could see at all was because of his goggles, Mello probably had his eyes closed.

Mello trusted him to get them to safety.

"It's blocked by fire. We'll have to exit through a window." he shouted, he could hear the roar of the flames now, hear the crackle as the wood burned as much as he could smell it.

He found the wall and slid his hand along it as he searched for the doorway, unable to actually see it properly. His hand hit empty space but as he pressed inward it hit something, wood. It had to be the office.

He tried the knob and silently thanked Roger for not having locked it.

He pushed the door open and smoke flooded the room though Matt got a glimpse of the empty room beforehand. He led Mello into the room and shut the door, though smoke continued to seep lazily from underneath the crack in the door.

He bumped into the desk and Mello crashed into him at the sudden stop. "Sorry." He told the blonde. Matt tugged him sideways and away from the desk until he was met with the smaller desk that sat in front of the window.

"I need to let go for a minute." he told Mello, and though Mello grabbed at him his hands drifted along the warmed glass of the window until he found the latch. It was the kind that swung open rather than the ones you had to push.

He swung his arms across the surface of the desk and threw the items to the floor and startled Mello in the process.

"Climb on top of the desk and I'll help you out the window."

Mello followed his instructions quickly, if not a little bit clumsily. He made sure Mello knew where the opening was and held onto his arm as the blonde lowered himself into the snow, though it wasn't high enough where he couldn't have jumped.

-

"Matt hurry!" Mello called from outside. He was instantly cold despite having been inside the inferno that was now Wammys.

"Give me a sec." the gamer called. Mello hated that he could see nothing but the smoke that spilled from the open window. It made him nervous; he wanted Matt outside with him, _safe_ with him.

He heard a muffled curse and a gunshot before two thuds, and silence.

"Matt?!" he yelled. Mello waited a few moments but Matt didn't reply. Fear lodged itself into his belly and he swallowed the sickening feeling that attempted to take hold of him. He took a deep breath and jumped slightly to catch the ledge. It took some work but he was able to get himself back through the window.

"Matt? Where are you?" he couldn't see a damn thing; the smoke choked him, made his movements slower, and made his eyes sting. His boot hit something and he reached down to touch it and recoiled after a moment.

It was a body, but it wasn't Matt. That person had long hair. They weren't moving so Mello ignored them. He wondered if it was that woman from earlier...

He crawled on his hands and knees, but kept a hand out in front of him to feel around. He hit something warm and sticky but couldn't identify it. He felt more around that area and touched something larger, a body.

It had to be Matt.

"Matt?" he shook him, but there was no answer. The gunshot. Could Matt have been hit? Mello shook off the thought. They needed to get out, Matt was just unconscious...

Mello got to his feet and dragged the unresponsive redhead with him. He coughed violently and was instantly dizzy. He staggered but didn't fall. He'd gone in a straight line, so he knew exactly where to go.

He could see yellowish tints in the smoke and knew the fire was ready to engulf the room. He heaved Matt onto the desk and climbed onto it himself. He stopped, nearly halfway out the window, at a sound.

There was a loud, almost anguished, groan and the support beams creaked ominously, before the roof gave way sending the second floor to crash down on them.

And then there was silence.

**-End **_**End**_**-**

**AN:** Whooho, talk about a cliffhanger. I'm sure I about killed a few of you with this one... buwahahaha.

We've hit about the halfway mark of this fic... erm.... next update will be short, as its an interlude of sorts, and then I'm back to my usual 4-5 day update schedule, but I just really wanted to get this one out, for obvious reasons. ;)

And yes, there is a reason the last little bit was more in Mello's perspective... hehehee.

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Kermitfries, Floppy-IDon'tCareWhatYouThink, fake-lis, Night-Huntress019, Arra, Living in a fantasy, kat716, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, foreverunloved, Kara 'Nine', Salvi, Misha2011, Amaya-Ai, Kyler Conroy, snappygirl, Kari Twilight Mist, MysticalTears, The Sora-muffin, Yaoiluver190, Moonphase9, Sliceasaurus Wrecks, fadedlines, Zena Silverwing, alienvampirefreak, xHanako, Enjy, RainbowJapan, Hewhohasfound12deathnotes,fun (almost 30 reviews for last chapter! *dies*)

_**Review??????**_

Really I want to know everyone's thoughts on this chapter!


	19. Chapter 17: Interlude

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note

**AN**: Yeah, this was supposed to be out before Friday…. But I had to prepare for an interview, as I'm getting a new job…, so I was kind of occupied. SORRY!

OK, there may be some things in this chapter that offend people, but honestly if you are reading a yaoi fic, with Mello in it, expect some religious stuff to happen... that's all I'm going to say. If I offend anyone, I'm sorry, but as I said...

**Suggested Listening: **This Close** by **Flyleaf**;** So Help Me God **by** Fireflight

**Chapter Seventeen**: _Interlude _

A gloved hand prodded gently at the still healing tissue, and winced at the sting it caused. He didn't know why he bothered, it wasn't going to be completely healed for some time, not with the burns he'd sustained.

They were, after nearly five months, an itchy, raw mess. But he was alive.

As was the redhead whose bed he sat beside. Though not once in those passed months had he awoken. The doctors had said it had been a miracle he'd even survived the gunshot to the head, and that the coma he was in, should have been expected with such an injury.

Mello didn't care if it was 'expected' or not.

But he couldn't be picky. Both of them really were lucky, despite everything that had happened. Apparently when the building had collapsed, spilling outward in some parts, he'd fallen on top of Matt. His body had shielded Matt from the fire that had scorched his own skin.

The doctors had said that had Matt been burned on top of the gunshot, he wouldn't have survived, that it would have been too much for his system. As it was, the fact that they'd been halfway out of the window and fallen into the snow, helped slow Matt's bleeding as well as his heartbeat; that in effect, had kept him alive.

Mello held onto his rosary, still new feeling after four months as the old one had been destroyed in the fire, and once again sent a silent prayer out for his friend.

It was almost amusing in a way. He hadn't prayed in years, and yet it only took the near loss of Matt to break the cycle. Mello had lost count of how many prayers he sent for the redhead's recovery. And yet after so much time, it seemed none of them had done any good.

Mello ran a hand through his choppy, jagged, hair with a sigh. His hair was longer now, his previous cut an impossibility with his facial scars. Hell he was lucky to still have hair at all, as a lot of it had been a singed mess in the beginning.

It was coarser, thicker; but its length looked better with the addition of his scar. And Mello supposed the scars made him look rather dangerous, though he thought they were hideous. Like a black mark on a white table cloth.

Noticeable and yet irremovable.

He had scars on half of his face, and that ran down his past his shoulder and back before they tapered off by his hip.

He hated them.

But he would not do the skin grafts. They would be painful, too painful to deal with without some sort of mind dulling medication. And that was unacceptable. Not only because he still had to keep up with Near... but he didn't want to be completely out of it should Matt wake.

Not that it appeared he would anytime soon. Or so the doctors said.

But Matt always had a way of surprising people, even without having intended to.

A prime example of that would definitely be his former occupation as a spy. Mello glanced out the window, the pre-summer weather ruffling the tiny budding flowers with its gentle wind. He didn't care about that anymore.

And after his anger had calmed down, he'd gone over the conversation he'd overheard again and again. Matt had defied orders, turned himself in, all because of him. Because they were friends.

Friends. Mello snorted. How he hated that word.

Mello had definitely had a lot of time to think, to examine what he felt for his friend. The fear he'd felt when he'd woken, the pain, hadn't been for himself, but Matt. He'd been so damn worried and hadn't been able to rest until, and even after, he'd discovered his friend's condition.

It had been a relief that he was alive, but a whole new set of worries had come from it.

His feelings had been so strong that he hadn't been able to ignore them anymore. He had been forced to pull them out and examine them. Pick them apart, unwind them, until he found out _why _he felt that way.

It hadn't been an easy thing to accept, once he'd figured it out. Not at all. He struggled with the knowledge for a solid month, before he came to a decision; though for some people that was a relatively short period of time.

In Mello's eyes, the god he _knew_, the one in his heart, would not condemn him for loving someone, regardless of gender.

Love.

Something so foreign to him. At least before Matt, who had wheedled his way into his heart. And damn if he didn't love that boy. And he knew, that Matt had at least taken second or even third glances at him before, and the time he could have _sworn_ Matt said his _real_ name in his sleep, so maybe...

Mello sighed. His thoughts always went down that road. But if Matt didn't feel that way...

Well than he would just have to deal with it. He would rather keep the redhead close, as a friend, than loose him because of a selfish desire for them to be more, and only more. It would be painful for Mello that way, definitely, but it would be enough.

It would have to be.

Once Matt was better, awake and fully healed, he would tell him. It was just not something he could keep hidden. And though it may only cause problems, Mello wasn't someone to back down from something, especially something that big.

As Mello glanced at the redhead again, he couldn't help but wonder just how long he would have to wait.

Though he was impatient he was also, in a way, happy. Matt was, after all, alive.

He slipped the rosary back over his neck, and under the vest, and leaned back in the chair. L, after having discovered just how much time he spent in that room, had asked for a nicer chair to be brought in.

Mello smiled slightly. He'd finally gotten to meet L, but hadn't been able to fully enjoy it. The circumstances were different than before, though he had still liked meeting the odd detective. He'd have to ask Matt what he'd thought of him, as Matt had spent a good while with him.

Everyone from Wammys had been relocated to a different, yet still secluded, area. At first everyone had been staying in a hotel, as L could definitely afford it, though Mello had missed that as he'd been in the hospital for his burns.

There was a new place for them to stay, supposedly better than the original, though Mello saw no real difference with it.

"Arg.."

Mello's head jerked to the bed at the groan. Matt's hand had risen to rub at his head, probably at a headache as the doctors said he'd have them for a while, and slowly opened his eyes. They blinked blurrily for a moment before they focused on him.

"Matt!" Mello had stood up and leaned across the bed, a smile stretched across his face so much so that it hurt.

There was a look of confusion for a moment, and Matt seemed to think on something.

"Um... who are you...?"

Mello sucked in a breath, as his smiled faded. That was not what he'd been expecting. Not at all.

**-End**_** Interlude**_**-**

**AN:** *cackles* OK, ok... I know... I did go there. But this has been planned since the moment I got out of bed that one night and wrote three pages of notes on this fic... yeah... Did you think my stuff was going to be all smiles and laughs? Have you looked at the categories lately? Yeah.....

But this wont be all soap opera-ish, as in no ones long lost sister is going to suddenly pop up and have an affair with someone's husband, k?

Anyway. So what did everybody think of Mello's little interlude?

**ALSO** **The results are in:** Those of you who wanted The Silent Place... well you got it! And going by the numerous pm's I've gotten, my beta (and the rest of you who didn't specify....) it will be in 3rd person.

However, don't look for it until Choices has been completely posted.

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Plain Jane Is A Vampire, fake-lis, (Sorry I don't have an acount), mgx'ndzou, Zero Sense of Justice, zchocolatebunniesrulezworld, SkullessEyes, Mezzanotte Nera, DiabolicaJeevas, Kara 'Nine', ShyClown, harleyenpointe, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, ospreyed, CutmeawayMyPenMyHand, Sliceasaurus Wrecks, xHanako, Misha2011, Rainbowjapan, Kyler Conroy, Kari Twilight Mist, Floppy-IDon'tCareWhatYouThink, IndifferenceToSociety, Miss-Dreev, Amaya-Ai, snappygirl, InnerShadow, (Loved It), Enjy, xzombieViolinstx, fadedlines, Moonphase9, Salvi, The Sora-muffin, Living in a fantasy, Yaoiluver190, foreverunloved, xSadistxFujix

**Review**???


	20. Chapter 18: Confusion

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note

**AN**: So.... now that I'm certain everyone hates me..... enjoy the chappy! Starts off right where Mello's chapter left off. So… Matt is awake!

Thank you for so many reviews!!!!!!!!

And sorry for the wait, I really wanted this out on Saturday, but between my sister and niece being down from Florida and the interview (which I think I did alright on) I was knackered! So to make it up to you I'm going to try and post another chapter by Friday. TRY…

**Suggested Listening: **What Were We Made For** by **Saosin (some of the lyrics are oddly fitting)**;** SAKURA goodbye **by** Scandal

**Chapter Eighteen: **_Confusion _

"Um... who are you...?"

He instantly felt something akin to guilt squirm around his stomach as the smile, that he would have called brilliant, faded and a look of shock and sadness washed it away.

He could only assume that he should have _known _the answer to his own question. Should have known who the blonde was, but for the life of him, couldn't figure it out. Hell he didn't even know what his_ own_ name was...

Though it stood to reason that he was probably this 'Matt' person, as the blonde had said that when he opened his eyes. And he doubted that the blonde would have called out his own name.

He shifted uncomfortably under the fiercely expressive blue eyes, but winced. He tried to remember why he was in the bed and how long he'd been there, as his body felt weak and stiff, but nothing came to mind.

He tried to think of _something _to remember... but he drew a blank. He didn't remember his name, his childhood or anything really... well he seemed to know _stuff_; facts about computers and other technical devices rushed to the surface, as well as other 'common' knowledge, but nothing of any real use to his current situation.

"I'm going to... I'll be back." the blonde spoke slowly, and 'Matt' nodded despite himself. He didn't know who the blonde was... but he felt he could trust him. He had no rational explanation as to why, either.

Just a feeling.

And his name... Matt... sounded odd to him. Like it wasn't his name. He couldn't explain it.

He sighed.

He looked around at the room, which was rather large and hospital like but without that sickening smell of antiseptic. The walls were more of a cream color than the stark too bright white hospitals seemed fond of.

There was also more than one bed besides his own, which should have immediately tipped him off to the fact that he wasn't in a hospital, his thoughts were still a bit jumbled and slow it seemed.

So, if he wasn't in a hospital, not that he knew why he should be, where exactly was he?

His gaze turned to the window and it felt odd, for some reason, to see trees in bloom. His head hurt, he had to close his eyes, and all he could see was a smoky white and a feint orange glow.

He blinked a few times and everything came back into focus.

He felt... unsettled. And he hated not being able to know why.

"Hello Matt, it is good to see you awake." Matt turned to the side of his bed where a small group of people stood, though he hadn't even heard them walk in. The man who had spoken, and stood second closest to him, had a head of messy black hair with dark eyes.

He wore a white long-sleeved shirt with slightly baggy jeans; his hands were in his pockets as he slouched.

There was also a nurse, who stood there fidgeting slightly, a doctor and the blonde from before.

"Mello here tells me that you are having trouble remembering who he is." the doctor, a middle aged man who was already half bald, stated while he looked at the chart he'd brought along, as though it had all the answers.

"Having trouble would be forgetting his name. No, I have a problem since I don't know who any of you are and wasn't even sure of my own name until a few seconds ago." he stated rather bluntly.

To his amusement the doctor looked up, slightly startled.

"Well, at least his attitude is the same..." he heard the blonde, Mello he supposed, mumble half-heartedly.

"You remember nothing?" the doctor asked. Matt had been tempted to roll his eyes, but knew it wouldn't have been appreciated. He dipped his head ever so slightly, just enough that his too long hair shadowed his eyes.

"I have my smarts, but things like my childhood, where the hell I am and people I should know, are gone." he chanced a glance at the blonde who seemed to shrink in on himself, shoulders slumped, and wished he could have answered differently.

"How long have I been asleep?" he asked. Though he supposed he should also have asked just what the hell had happened to put himself there in the first place...

"You have been in a coma for just under five months, all things considered, you're rather lucky." the doctor stated while his eyes swept across his form.

Five months? That was a long time. No wonder he was so damn stiff. Great, that probably meant some physical therapy. What fun.

"So that's why the scenery felt wrong..." he mumbled to himself, though the others had caught it.

"What was wrong about the scenery?" the nurse had finally spoken up and asked. He figured she was probably new or something, with the way she moved around, unable to stay still.

"Snow. There should have been snow... and something about smoke and an orange glow, but nothing else really." no other reason for him to think the season was wrong. And in reality it wasn't the season that was wrong. It was that he'd been out of commission to see it change, so his mind, whatever was left of it he supposed, found it wrong.

"He must remember only that tiny bit of the accident... which is actually good. It means that he'll have a better chance at remembering things in the future." the doctor said as he'd turned to the still unnamed raven and 'Mello'.

He hated being talked about when he was not even three feet from them, and the blonde seemed to understand that but only shrugged.

"Well now that you are awake, we'll do a few tests and get you something to eat." the doctor motioned to the nurse as he walked off. Really, what did doctors actually do? It seemed it was the nurses who did everything. It was all in the pay he supposed.

"What exactly happened to put me into a coma?" it was really something they should have told him right off the bat. The nurse flashed that damn pen like light into his eyes, and smiled at him. The best he could do back was a grimace. Stupid light...

"You were shot in the head. You are very lucky to even be alive. And it doesn't look like you have any major brain damage, despite the memory loss. But more tests will have to be preformed to be sure."

He'd been shot in the head? What the hell...

"How much should we tell him? I mean, we can't just leave him in the dark..." Mello asked the nurse, though he shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, I'd say anything that might cause a shock to him should he remember it. And of course that includes the accident." the nurse wrote something down on her own clipboard before she placed it at the front of the bed.

"I'll go get you that lunch now." she smiled brightly and walked off; she seemed too happy.

"Well, I believe introductions are in order. I am L." the raven haired man said as his thumb went to the side of his mouth. Matt blinked. That was L. Huh. Why didn't that surprise him? Had he previously met him before? He filed away those questions for later revision.

"I'm Mello. Your best friend..." Mello smiled weakly. Matt felt that squirmy feeling again and his hands twitched. He felt… anxious. It was almost as though a switch had been thrown and he suddenly, really, really wanted a cigarette.

"This may sound odd, but can I have a cigarette?" the look on Mello's face was priceless.

"Oh, so you can remember you practically chain smoke, but you can't remember me? Fantastic." the blonde frowned, though Matt could also sense slight amusement, or maybe exasperation, in his tone.

"Mello, perhaps after Matt eats you could take him outside to smoke. It's more than warm enough, and he could probably use the fresh air. And going by how long his body had been stationary, it wouldn't be bad to test how far, if at all, he can walk on his own." L said while he looked over at Mello.

Mello nodded after he'd glanced at Matt.

Matt didn't care one way or another, though he would have preferred to smoke first... but he supposed he was lucky they were even going to allow him to. If he'd asked the doctor he probably would have made up some stupid excuse to keep him away from his smokes.

Though it did strike him as odd how he seemed so attached to the things, when he couldn't even remember having liked them in the first place. It seemed his memory wasn't needed for everything.

He returned his attention to L, who had just begun to explain to him about Wammys and what it had been created for. It was odd to think he'd heard all of that before, still knew it, but couldn't remember it.

Then L got into the subject of Kira. Matt knew who Kira was. Almost everyone in the underground and otherwise knew who Kira was, though it was up to debate about just what was and wasn't Kira's handiwork.

Kira was the leader of a group of assassins, con artists and the like.

Matt's eyes widened slightly as L explained that he'd been sent to Wammys as Kira's spy. L had his full attention as he explained everything that he knew on the situation, which L said was probably less than half as they hadn't really had much chance to talk, including the fire where he'd been injured.

It was assumed that the agent he'd knocked out had shot him, though it could have easily been another one as L and the staff had only taken down two of them and it wasn't known how many there had been. Mello then added in that he'd crawled back through the window and grabbed him, though the building had collapsed on top of them before they had fully gotten out the window again.

Matt winced. It was his fault the blonde had that scar on his face. It didn't make him look bad, but it must have been, and probably was still, painful.

"Mello you may fill in the rest later as I believe the food has arrived."

Matt turned his gaze over to the other side of the room where the bubbly nurse walked in with a tray of food. How the hell had L heard that?

"I have some things to take care of at the moment so I will take my leave. I will try and visit again in a few days, should my cases not prove to be too time consuming." L said while he stepped off the chair, bare feet stepping onto the floor.

"He's probably just going to eat more cake..." he heard Mello mutter under his breath the moment the detective had left the room.

"Here you are! I hope you enjoy it. And the doctor said to eat it all as you are a bit underweight. I'll be back in a little while to check on you." the nurse smiled happily at him and walked off.

"Mello, if we are in the rebuilt Wammys, why are there nurses and doctors? I have a feeling Wammys didn't have that normally." Matt asked.

"Oh, well both of us were in rather bad shape but L couldn't really take us to a hospital for obvious reasons. So he got a hold of some people he trusted and they recommended the ones who are here."

Matt nodded as he peered at what looked like it could have been chicken at one point or another in time. He had to eat _that_?

"Is all the food here like this?" he poked the lumpy mush with the spoon and felt his already small appetite dwindle even further.

"Thankfully not. And I'm not even sure where they got that..."

Mello's answer had not reassured him in the least. He sighed and picked up the random piece of toast and nibbled on the edge of it. "Probably last weeks leftovers..." he mumbled around the charred piece of bread.

The rest of what was on the tray looked just as unappealing.

Matt was then acutely aware of the sudden and rather noticeable silence between them. It was awkward; neither of them knowing what to say.

Matt wasn't sure what to do. He was supposed to be Mello's best friend. But he'd been a spy and could have easily destroyed the boys life. And he couldn't even remember...

"I don't blame you. I haven't for months. You're my... best friend." Mello broke the silence moments later, as though he had read his mind. He fiddled with something around his neck that hadn't been there before. A rosary.

"You're religious?" Matt asked, as he averted his eyes back to the tray and eyed the jell-o cup wearily. For some reason, he doubted he liked the squishy stuff. He couldn't remember, but there was just something _wrong_ about the jiggly blue stuff.

"Yeah. Though it had been a while..." Mello trailed off, eyes locked on the red beads and Matt left him to it. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts and Matt didn't want to disturb him.

He sighed. There was so much he had to remember. No one there knew his past, and Matt doubted he could ask his ex-employer. And just what had caused him to turn in the first place? He didn't regret it, he didn't think so at any rate.

But he wanted to know _why_. And L hadn't exactly told him that part…

He finished the toast and pushed the mystery mush around the plate. He wanted a cigarette, not that crap they tried to pull off as food. He'd eaten a piece of toast... certainly that was enough to hold him off until dinner?

Unless dinner was much the same, in which case Matt knew he'd starve.

"I don't suppose you're going to eat that are you?" Mello asked. Matt shook his head and looked up at the blonde, to see that the rosary had mysteriously vanished once more. He wondered where the blonde kept it.

"I guess we can leave now..."

"I'm not setting foot out this door in this hideous hospital gown." Matt motioned to the thing he'd been forced to wear.

Mello sighed and stood up, and for a moment Matt thought the blonde would just leave. "Fine. I'll go get you some real clothes. Any preference?" he noticed Mello wince as he said that, though he didn't fault him for having slipped up.

"Whatever you want to grab is fine... can't say I know what I like." Matt shrugged. It was weird. It seemed that things connected to his personality and social life had been forgotten but he knew mostly everything else.

If someone were to place a computer in front of him he could easily hack the pentagon, but ask him his favorite color and he drew a complete blank.

It was rather annoying.

Mello swiftly took his leave, and Matt hoped he'd come back rather than just skip out on him. He wouldn't blame the blonde if he did; it couldn't be easy having to deal with him. Mello was the one that remembered everything.

Yes it frustrated Matt, but he didn't know what he'd forgotten, didn't have any sad or happy memories. Wasn't missing a friend...

He just hoped that Mello didn't suddenly see him as too much trouble, because it seemed like Mello was his _only_ friend, and he'd hate to lose him despite his memory issues.

Matt looked up at the soft click of heals on the floor. The nurse was back and didn't look too pleased with the small bit he'd eaten.

"I expect you to eat more at dinner. It's not good to leave meals unfinished." she pursed her lips together in an attempt to look stern but looked more like she'd swallowed a lemon. An effect Matt knew she hadn't been going for.

He wasn't intimidated by her and knew that if the same type of 'quality' food was brought at dinner, vitamin enriched or whatever the hell it was, he wouldn't touch it. He doubted a goat would even eat it.

Though he knew he was probably being a bit dramatic. But seriously, don't serve something you wouldn't even eat yourself.

She said something else to him, but he hadn't really paid much attention until she had already left the room. As the minutes ticked by the more that anxious feeling clawed away at his belly until he was certain Mello wasn't going to come back.

He sighed and leaned back into the pillows and closed his eyes. Well... there was always tomorrow... right?

"Matt? Shit, don't tell me you went to sleep already!"

Matt cracked and eyelid open and grinned at the sight of the slightly depressed look on Mello's face. "Doubtful I could have fallen asleep even had I wanted to, with all the racket you're making."

"At least you haven't lost your sarcasm. I think I would have died if you were suddenly all polite." Mello commented dryly, though Matt could see the twitch of his lips.

Matt sat up, sore muscles protested the movement, and tossed back the covers and was able to clumsily throw his legs over the side of the bed. He glanced at Mello, who had put his requested clothing onto one of the chairs, and made an attempt at standing.

He was on his feet for a good five seconds before his legs gave out. "Shit!" he heard Mello curse as the blonde grabbed hold of him and prevented him from hitting the floor.

"Give me some warning next time you want to do that." Mello grumbled. Matt wrapped an arm around the blonde's waist and allowed himself to be half dragged over to the bathroom where his clothes were handed to him and the door pulled shut by Mello which left Matt alone.

"If you... if you need help just ask."

Matt blinked and shook his head. Mello had sounded uncomfortable, though for what reason Matt couldn't understand. But it didn't really matter to him, he had to change clothes. Which ended up proving to be a little more than difficult, and almost resulted in his face meeting the floor more than once.

Though when he was finished he looked at himself in the mirror and wondered at the attire. A long-sleeved black and red striped shirt, tight fitting jeans and a pair of gloves. He stuffed the gloves into a pocket for the time being, though something seemed to be missing from the outfit, besides the obvious set of socks and shoes or whatever he wore on his feet.

Did he wear glasses or something? Or a hat?

He leaned on the counter and opened the door, which startled Mello who had been halfway leaning against it. Matt frowned at the addition of a wheelchair beside Mello, though he knew there was no way he'd be able to even walk a tenth of the way.

"Mello, there is something else that goes with this, isn't there?" he motioned to his clothing as Mello helped him into the chair. He heard Mello sigh and noticed him pull something out from behind his back.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice..." Mello frowned and held out a pair of orange goggles. Matt couldn't explain the nostalgia that washed through him at the sight. He tentatively took hold of them and stared at them for only a moment before he slid them over his eyes.

He didn't ask Mello why he hadn't wanted him to wear them, as just admitting the fact seemed to make the blonde edgy. They stayed silent as Mello took hold of the wheelchairs handles and guided them from the room and into the hallway.

The hallways were empty and despite it being a nice day no one was outside either.

"Where is everyone?"

"Oh, they probably didn't even tell you what day it was. It's in the middle of the week so everyone is in class." Mello said while he held open, what Matt assumed was the main door, for him to wheel out of.

Matt could only just make it out of the doors before he had to stop or topple down the stairs. Wouldn't that have been a nice way to officially begin his day?

There was no way Matt was going down the stairs with the wheel chair. Not while he was in it at any rate.

Mello watched him, as he struggled to his feet. He knew they wanted to see how much he could do on his own, as it would determine the correct type of treatment for his weakened muscles, but a little help would have been appreciated.

His legs wobbled dangerously, muscles strained tightly, as he gripped the railing and eased himself down the three steps to the grass. He let out a small sigh as he was on solid ground. At least if his legs gave out again, it wouldn't leave him cut up and bruised. Unless there was something odd about the grass he stood on...

"Come on, were going to that tree over there, where there's shade." Mello stated and took a few steps ahead of him, though he did stop and turn around. It embarrassed him a bit to walk as unsteady as a toddler would, and need to be watched, but his legs were weak after five months of inactivity.

Matt knew he was lucky to even be awake... but even so, it took every ounce of concentration and energy he had to stay upright. That tree felt like miles away... and he'd only taken a few steps.

Mello quickly took pity on him, though it was probably more to the fact that it would have been harder to pick him off the ground than to just help him stumble to the tree, and wrapped an arm around his waist to help.

Things went much quicker after that and in no time they reached the shade. He slumped down the trunk of the tree until he was seated on a large exposed root.

His limbs felt like noodles and he was tired. Incredibly so.

Mello produced a pack of cigarettes and a lighter seemingly out of nowhere and Matt wasn't sure he wanted to know where they had been stored in that tight leather.

Matt ripped the packaging open and immediately lit one up, careful not to be hasty in the way he smoked least he start a coughing fit.

"I suppose I should fill you in on the stuff L wouldn't know. Though I can really only tell you about the four months you were my roommate. Wammys isn't big on sharing information, you know?" Mello stood, leaned against the trunk, with his face turned away from him as he gazed at the sky.

Matt smoked as he listened to the blonde explain what he knew. It wasn't much in the way of information, as just about the day to day things that had occurred. He was apparently big on games, which if he played again might be a good memory jog, though that was probably only wishful thinking on his part.

It seemed like Mello had skimmed over a few parts, whether they'd embarrassed him or weren't important Matt couldn't tell, but he didn't press him about it.

From what Mello told him, and the slightly wistful tone of his voice, they really were close friends. Some people could claim to be best friends but the slightest things could break them apart. Perhaps he should have noticed it when Mello had stuck by him despite him having been a spy.

"Sorry I can't remember." he whispered. He really wanted to. The more he heard, the more he began to yearn for everything he'd lost. It sucked, to put it bluntly.

He closed his eyes as a gust of wind gently ruffled his hair, like fingers that softly tugged at the medium length strands.

"I need a hair cut." he couldn't help but state, it was punctuated by a piece of hair that found its way into his mouth. He spit it out and wrinkled his nose in distaste.

Mello snorted and picked up a strand and rolled it between his fingers. "It has gotten a bit too long. I'll see what can be arranged." Mello didn't seem to notice, but he never let go of that piece even as he looked away.

Matt didn't mind; he kept his head still and lit his second cigarette.

He wasn't sure what would happen next, now that he was awake, but he knew that it would prove to be interesting if the blonde was involved.

**-End **_**confusion-**_

**AN: **This chapter took forever. *falls over* it was so hard to write... it probably shows too. But you know, I could have technically ended the fic here... as an open ending.... but I didn't. :)

Don't think that things will stay calm till the end either. Buwhahahah! Take a look at the genre's.... though I may have to change it from Drama..... hehehe.

**Special thanks to reviewers: **Kara 'Nine', Fused-Chappy, kat716, syllie charm, foreverunloved, Salvi, PaintedClocks, IndifferenceToSociety, Living in a fantasy, fake-lis, Mezzanotte Nera, Floppy-IDon'tCareWhatYouThink, Kyler Conroy, zchocolatebunniesrulezworld, Sliceasaurus Wrecks, fadedlines, Rainbowjapan, Amaya-Ai, Ashes of the Phoenix, AmazininglyAddictedToAnime, Shy Clown, Yaoiluver190, crownedclown3293, DarthxInvader, Enjy, sugarsuicide, Kari Twilight Mist, Misha2011, The Sora-muffin, Zena Silverwing, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, xSadistxFujix, Plain Jane Is A Vampire, OHMYGOD., Miss-Dreev, snappygirl

**REVIEW**?!!


	21. Chapter 19: Near

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note ok?

**AN**: See I told you I would update quick for you guys! (and though it stats it in the chapter, there has been around a week since Matt woke up, so time skip!)

Also, I have a **new poll** up (as The Silent Place was the poll result for the last one) and it may affect the outcome of an upcoming fic! (keep in mind what I'm writing at the moment too) So vote?

And I just counted up the amount of words Choices is (without the stupid AN's) and it's **over** 105,000 words. *falls over* no wonder it ATE my muse!

**Suggested Listening**: Not Enough **by** Lacuna Coil (I am in luff with this song! Lyrics are rather interesting too...)

**Chapter Nineteen: **_Near _

He stared at the doctor incredulously. They wanted him to do his PT in a pool? He didn't know Wammys had a pool... _did _Wammys have a pool? Or were they going to stick him in some tank and have him swim in place for an hour. God that would be boring...

"Are you sure I can't just do my daily walks outside? I go out there at least twice a day for a cigarette..." Matt didn't really like the idea of having to swim in a pool. Hell, he couldn't even remember if he knew _how_ to swim. Knowledge like that would have been helpful to have.

The doctor frowned at him as his eyes drifted back up from his clipboard. "You know you shouldn't smoke, it causes all kinds of problems-"

"Look, I already know the risks and telling me about them and showing me pictures isn't going to make me want to stop." Matt said as clearly as possible, so that maybe the doctor would get it and leave him alone about it.

He didn't know when he started to smoke, but he damn well knew the risks.

"Hey Matt. Are you done being poked and prodded for the day?" Matt looked over the doctor's shoulder and noted the blond hair that quickly moved passed him. He grinned.

"I think so." Mello always seemed to know when he got too irritated with the doctors and nurses to deal with them anymore. If it wasn't about how he smoked, it was about how little he ate, or how he didn't sleep all that much.

Had they considered the fact that maybe being in the infirmary was the cause of the last two?

"I suppose you are free to do as you wish. Though you should really think about quitting." the doctor frowned again before he left the room. Matt rolled his eyes and turned to Mello who held a smile.

"About your smoking again?" Mello's tone was only slightly amused, as something darker also lingered. Mello had made it quite clear, and had apparently done so before, that he hated the fact that Matt smoked. But he also explained that he wouldn't bug him about it too much.

"It was my fault for bringing it up." he shrugged a shoulder and was able to get up on his own. His muscles were weak, but had apparently been in very good shape beforehand so they hadn't gotten too bad. Though it would still take some time for them to strengthen up.

"You brought it up? That's new." Mello's eyebrow was raised, obviously confused as to why he would bring the lecture upon himself. Really, it wasn't as though he'd wanted the man to start to drone on and on about all the awful ways he could die...

"He wanted to put me in Aquatic Therapy and I may have said something about getting more exercise while going out to smoke." he mumbled while he walked over to Mello.

"We have a pool?" Mello asked while, with every step Matt took towards him, took one back.

"That's what I thought." he mumbled softly.

It was something they had taken to doing. It helped them see how much progress he was making. It had only been a week, so it wasn't all that much. Some days he could only make it halfway across the room before he needed to rest.

It wasn't even that he was tired, as much as his body just couldn't support his weight any more. But it wasn't getting worse, so he supposed that was something good at least.

He'd 'slept' for five months and the doctors wondered why he wasn't able to sleep, besides the rock hard bed...

"Done." he muttered and Mello moved the wheelchair over to him. He still hated having to use it, but knew there was no way around it. Mello wheeled him from the room and took a right instead of a left which had him confused.

"Where are we going?" he asked, and tilted his head to peer up at the blonde. The main doors were the other way...

"I'm taking you to our room."

Matt was more than a little surprised as he'd been stuck in the infirmary since he woke just over a week ago. He swore they had been trying to keep him there indefinitely.

"L talked to the doctor about it and got him to reconsider your elongated stay there as your sleeping and eating habits seemed to have taken a nose dive. That was just under three days ago, the doctor just OK'd it this morning."

"I can finally get a good nights sleep now that I don't have to sleep on a plank!"

Mello laughed and looked down at him, blonde hair falling into his eyes though they were still visible. "Yeah, those beds are hard. I think sleeping on the floor would have been better."

It was only at times like that, when Mello mentioned it, that Matt remembered the blonde had been in the infirmary too. Though he had gotten out before him...

"I think it's this hallway, I actually haven't taken much time to explore the place. It's mostly the same, but one of the changes is the addition of more rooms. There are now three hallways worth on the second floor and two on the first. And I guess we have a pool too." Mello told him, though the last part was more out of amusement.

"Wait, I know you haven't been sleeping in the infirmary, so why don't you know where your own room is? Am I missing something?" Matt asked. Were they in separate rooms then? No, that wasn't right as Mello had said 'our room'.

So then...what?

"I'm just moving into this one today myself. I was on the second floor before, but I always used the other staircase." Mello shrugged a shoulder and Matt was forced to look straight again as his neck had started to cramp up.

"It was the only way for us to stay roommates. I would have been stuck with someone else had I stayed in the other room since you won't be able to handle the stairs yet." Mello added after a moment.

Wow.

Mello had just willingly uprooted himself to stay his roommate**? **

"You spend too much time with me anyway..." he told Mello, with a grin.

He heard Mello's small, but amused, laugh as they stopped in front of a room. Mello leaned over him and turned the doorknob and let it swing inward. "The room is set up the same way, though there was the option for improvements."

Mello shut the door and left him seated in the middle of the room, which Matt didn't mind as he could get himself out of the chair. Besides, he'd been seated the entire walk over there, he'd be more than able to walk around the room a little.

"Why keep it the same? We could have had better wallpaper." Matt gestured to the off-white strips with the light blue border.

"It's better for your memory if things are mostly the same in your surroundings. Sometimes it jogs your memory, so to speak." Mello answered with a shrug. Matt stared at the blonde's back with a frown.

Just how the hell had he gotten such a good friend?

From what he'd heard he was, or had been, only third, played games all day, was lazy, smoked and was a 'sarcastic bastard' as someone had so blatantly told him. Didn't sound like many redeeming qualities to him.

Then again, he thought as Mello snapped off one last piece of chocolate and threw the wrapper to the floor, maybe that was why they'd gotten along?

Who else could stand chocolate wrappers _everywhere_, and he'd had never had the cleanest room before Wammys.

Matt stopped, halfway out of the chair, and blinked. Before Wammys? Where had that come from? No one knew much of anything from his time with Light, with the exception of what he'd told L before the accident. But in none of it had the state of his previous room come into the conversation.

That was good right?

Well... it couldn't be bad....

"Matt...Are you ok?"

Matt turned his attention back to Mello, as the blonde had sounded... worried? Or was it more confused?

"What?" he let go of the chair and stretched slightly, though careful not to throw himself off balance. He was still working on that. Maybe he would look up exercises he could do that would help.

He could ask the doctor... but he would probably come up with the one out of ten choices he didn't like, and then insist it was the _only _one that would work. That guy just didn't seem to like him very much. It wasn't his fault the guy had a thing against _everything_ Matt did...

"You kind of spaced out, I guess.." Mello sounded a little uncertain as he said that. Matt wondered if things like that would be frequent with him. If he would 'space out' over the slightest bit of information returning.

If so, Matt had a feeling it would be a very long recovery...

"Oh, I was just thinking. Nothing to worry about." he didn't bother to tell Mello the real reason, though the blonde did look suspiciously at him, as he didn't want to give Mello too much hope in him recovering his memories.

Yeah he had remembered something, but it was something small and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. And who was to say that he would be able to recover anything of any real importance?

Unless he remembered something big he would keep any memories that returned to himself.

He had other things to think about at any rate. Like the odd fluttery sensation in his chest. Matt would liken it to the way someone felt about someone they cared about, like a crush.

Or something more...

But to Matt's knowledge, he wasn't involved with anyone. And no one had said anything... unless they wanted him to remember on his own? But that didn't make any sense... maybe they didn't know about it?

Another thing he would keep to himself for the moment. He could always ask L if he got a moment alone with the detective, without Mello with him. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate everything the blonde had done for the past week, but it wasn't something he really wanted Mello to be around for when he asked about it.

He couldn't even explain it.

"Matt." he turned to Mello, as his gaze had drifted to his side of the room where he supposed things should have looked familiar to him, even if only a small bit.

"Here, I'd tell you to catch but I have a feeling you'd drop it." Mello said with a smirk as he handed him a slim black PSP. He couldn't remember having played one before, but the familiar excitement that bubbled in his chest at the sight spoke volumes.

"It has some game called Kingdom Clubs or something in it..." Mello sounded unsure for a moment, and Matt knew the reason why and tried not to laugh. He knew of the game, or at least the original from the PS2, Mello had butchered the name of.

Kingdom Hearts...

"Why do you look like you're about to laugh?" Mello asked with narrowed eyes. Matt bit his lip though a wide grin broke out despite his rather feeble attempt to keep it at bay.

"No reason really. I'm just excited to be playing something?" Matt hadn't meant for the last portion to come out as a question, though it didn't seem like Mello had caught it.

"You're lying. But I have a feeling I'm better off not knowing this time. Anyway, if you don't like that game-" Mello eyed him with annoyance as Matt bit back a laugh "there are a few more inside your desk."

"Thanks Mello." Matt said while he turned the handheld on. He sat down, backwards, on the desk chair and leaned foreword as he started 'Birth by Sleep'. Matt thought the title oddly fitted the situation, and doubted Mello had even properly looked at the entire title.

He felt Mello watch him, but wasn't concerned as he soon lost himself in a world with keyblades and elixirs.

"Matt, seriously. It time to eat!" Mello whined at him a while later.

It turned out to be a long while later, as the sun had disappeared form the sky and the rooms lights were on instead of the natural sunlight. Matt slowly lifted his gaze from the screen and focused it on the blonde, who hung upside down and halfway off his bed as he stared at him; his hair fell down into sharp points that nearly touched the floor, though it was mostly due to the fact that Mello was about to fall off the bed.

Matt found his eyes instinctively slide across his friend's slim frame and latch onto the exposed skin of his stomach. He tore his eyes away, more than a little disturbed to have been ogling at the blonde.

"OK. Let me just save the game..." he returned to the game, which he apparently had the foresight to pause, and after he had saved it exited to the title menu and shut the PSP off.

Matt stood, which in turn let Mello know he was ready to leave, despite not having that much of an appetite. Though he would have to eat, he was sure of it, as Mello wasn't above shoving the food into his mouth.

He snickered softly at the 'ow!' that followed a harsh _thud_ as Mello fell to the floor in his haste to get up.

He didn't know how far away the dining hall was, but doubted he would be able to walk all the way there. He sighed as he sat himself in the chair. Perhaps other people wouldn't mind the help, but Matt just wanted to be able to do things on his own.

Though having not eaten much in the passed few days probably hadn't helped his progress in the least... he blamed the slop they served in the infirmary as food.

Mello glared at him, after he had righted himself and stood, as he wheeled him from the room; Matt couldn't help the grin that formed. He was glad, even if he couldn't remember, that Mello was his friend. He was an almost endless source of entertainment.

They weren't late, or so Mello had told him, despite only a few children entering through the large oak wood doors. "Stop." he muttered before Mello could wheel him any closer to the door. He felt Mello's stare as he hoisted himself from the confines of the chair and onto unsteady legs.

He wondered if his legs would ever stop shaking.

"I'd rather walk while I'm in there." he told Mello.

Mello merely shrugged and pushed the chair to the side and out of the way, though easily accessible for their exit. Mello entered through the doors before Matt, and held them open as he walked inside; and though Matt knew the blonde could have easily been on his way to the buffet style food tables, he walked slowly beside him.

He doubted Mello would do that for anyone else, at least not willingly.

Matt picked up a plate and trusted his legs enough to go about and gather what he wanted to eat before he followed Mello to a table, though he almost collided with Mello's back as the blonde had stopped short, eyes narrowed, after he noticed the small albino child that was seated there.

"What the hell are you doing at my table?!" Mello growled at the boy. Dark eyes flickered up to Mello and despite how young the boy looked there was a sharp intelligence that gleamed in his eyes.

"The table belongs to no one, Mello." the boy commented slowly as though he spoke to someone younger than himself, and far less intelligent.

"You know damn well you don't sit here on a normal basis! Quit with the damn stalker act and leave." Mello snarled and Matt had a feeling that a fight was about to erupt, and though he felt the albino probably deserved it, he didn't want Mello to get into trouble.

"Let's just sit, my legs are tired." he said calmly as he sat down across from the other boy and watched with some form of amusement as all the fight drained from the blonde and he muttered something unintelligible as he sat.

Huh. Maybe he should try that more often.

He was a little surprised as the boy unseated himself and moved his things to their side of the table and sat down beside him. Mello was not pleased, if the bending of the spoon was anything to go by.

There had been a noticeably hostile vibe from Mello the moment he'd spotted the boy at what Mello had called his 'usual' table, and that was before their argument. And from what Mello had said it was almost as though the boy had known Matt were to be there.

Mello had called him a stalker. Was there some truth to that?

Matt sighed and frowned at the albino boy that sat to his left, as Mello had seated himself on his right. He stared at him from behind the goggles, more than thankful to have them, though he wasn't surprised when the boy's blank eyes swirled up to met his gaze.

Far...?

No, that wasn't it. What was it...?

"Near." he spoke before he could stop himself.

He broke his and Near's staring contest at the rather vicious stab of a fork to his right. Mello had a potato smashed underneath the flat side of the fork and while his expression was closed off, blank; he was obviously angry.

And Matt knew why. Because he had remembered Near's name, and not his. But that was all; nothing more came to mind about the boy other than his name. Matt still held no real recognition when he looked at the boy.

Hell if it hadn't' been for his slip of the tongue Mello wouldn't have even known…

He honestly hadn't meant for that to happen.

"Mello, it's just the name." he commented softly, though he doubted Near had missed it. Mello stilled in his movements of mutilating his food but still for the most part ignored him. Matt sighed and moved to push his plate away, there was no way he was going to eat now.

"Don't even think about it." Mello's voice was stern and Matt's hand paused at the edge of his dish. Mello apparently wasn't going to let him get away with not eating. Reluctantly, as his slip up had more than effectively killed his appetite, he picked up his abandoned fork.

The rest of dinner was silent and rather tense, and Matt had to wonder if it would only get worse as the night wore on. He was still unsteady on his legs, but he hadn't even gotten tired on his way back to the chair, instead it was the rest of him that was exhausted.

He hated having to deal with emotions. They were problematic and mostly just drained energy.

Once back in the room Mello left the chair off to the side and flopped onto his bed and pulled out a chocolate bar, though it didn't really appear that he enjoyed it very much; it was a common brand that even Matt knew.

Hershey's.

It felt odd to see him eat that, but for what reason he couldn't fathom. He wanted a cigarette, but knew that Mello wouldn't help him at the moment, and he wasn't entirely sure if he could walk that far on his own...

But there was only one way to find out. Besides, he could always take frequent breaks in getting there, right?

Mello, though rather despondent towards him, followed his movements with sharp eyes and Matt could feel the question in the blondes gaze as he reached the door.

"I'm going out for a smoke." he pulled the door open and patted himself to make sure he actually had both a pack of cigarettes and a lighter on him.

"Can't you give me some peace for a few minutes?" the blonde snapped and Matt felt something clench at his chest. It _hurt_ when the blonde was angry at him.

"I wasn't going to ask you to come." he muttered and made to continue on out the door. "Wait!" Mello called to him, he poked his head around the door frame to look at him.

"Just keep the damn window open." Mello muttered, his face turned away from him. His eyes widened, Mello would let him smoke in the room?

Despite the fact that he would probably get in trouble for doing so, by Roger at the very least, he moved over to the window and opened it a good deal before he lit up. He took a long drag and held it in until it burned.

He didn't know, as he glanced at the blonde, if he should be angry at him or not. He knew Mello was upset about the 'Near' incident, which incidentally was sort of Matt's own fault, but Mello needed to get over the fact that he couldn't remember him.

Maybe he would get his memories back, he really hoped so, but if he didn't he wasn't sure he would be able to deal with Mello should he continue to get irritated over every little thing he remembered that _wasn't _him.

Though it could have also been the fact that it was Near, of all people, he remembered something on, as he seemed to _hate_ the boy. Even if it was only a name.

He sighed softly, things always seemed to become complicated with him. When would everything just _stop_, and be normal?

Was there even such a thing in his life?

Had there ever been?

Matt leaned his head against the wall and breathed out smoky air.

He just couldn't remember.

He felt as though he were missing a part of himself, like he wasn't even whole. He wasn't even sure if he was acting like he used to. However that was. He only been told some of his likes, as it seemed not even Mello really knew him.

When would things just… end?

**-End**_** Near-**_

**AN: **Yeah...... the part with the games..... I just had too. Can't you see Mello totally messing the name up? *snickers*

And yeah, we have finally have Matt started to get frustrated with his situation. But really, who wouldn't? I forget stuff all the time (I think it has to do with the time I slipped on ice and like KO'd a part of my skull, seriously I had a mushy spot on the back of my head for like over a year, never had it checked either... hehe), and its only small stuff, so I could only imagine how forgetting large portions, if not all, of my life would drive me crazy.)

**Don't forget** the poll I have up… I did update quick, so you can vote, right???

**Special thanks to reviewers**: fake-lis, snappygirl, syllie charm, Mezzanotte Nera, Moonphase9, Zero Sense of Justice, ShyClown, Enjy, xHanako, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, Zena Silverwing, Yaoiluver190, Rainbowjapan, crownedclown3293, Miss-Dreev, kat716, The Sora-muffin, foreverunloved, Amaya-Ai, Living in a fantasy, Kara 'Nine'

**Review**???


	22. Chapter 20: Misunderstanding

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: Wow the chapters hit my age, I feel old.......

Don't forget to vote on the poll! It will be up until the moment I post Choices epilogue. After that the votes will be locked and I will make my decision. Now, as I probably should have stated this before, the poll **doesn't** affect Choices as it is already completed. Though I won't outright tell you which fic I have the idea for. (I will tell you that my beta actually, which this surprised me, voted yes) :)

Special note at the end you **NEED TO READ**.

**Suggested Listening**: Speed of Flow **by **THE RODEO CARBURETTOR**;** Face the Truth **by** Unsun

**Chapter Twenty**: _Misunderstanding _

The next morning Matt had woken early, after having gone to sleep early the night before. games could only hold his attention for so long, especially without his full concentration on them.

The sun hadn't quite risen yet, and neither had Mello. Matt knew that the blonde was generally an early riser, as he'd always been in the infirmary with him around that time, after another sleepless night on Matt's account.

Matt stretched slightly as he shifted under the covers and yawned, though he was no longer tired. In fact, he felt rather refreshed, more energized, that he had previously. He supposed that sleeping on a good bed would do that...

He wasn't sure exactly what time normal breakfast was, as he'd only eaten in the infirmary thus far, but he figured he probably had time to get some exercise done. Or in his case, go outside to smoke.

Mello had let him smoke in the room last night but Matt didn't want to push his luck with that any further. And the smell would no doubt wake the blonde. He really didn't want to deal with a cranky Mello.

He quickly dressed himself, careful not to topple over and as quietly as he could, left the room. He knew the way to the front door, as they had gone the opposite way to get to their room, and no real trouble in getting to it. If the frequent stops he was forced to make, in order to ease the ache in his legs, didn't count as trouble.

With a self satisfied sigh he sat down on the cool stone steps and lit the first cigarette of the day. Though it had taken him a while, he'd at least been able to go that far by himself. He had no doubt however, that he would pay for it later.

Halfway through his second cigarette the door opened and Matt tilted his head back and peered up at Mello who looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Have fun in getting here?" the blonde asked though he made no move to sit.

Matt shrugged. "Not particularly." but he wouldn't complain either; he'd gotten to smoke after all.

"Well finish up, breakfast is soon. You must have been out here for a while." Mello kept his foot in the door and leaned against the brick wall, close enough to Matt but still far enough away from the smoke.

Matt sighed and stubbed out the cigarette, he hated when Mello made him feel rushed.

He swayed slightly as he stood but was fine the moment he grabbed onto the railing. He glared silently at his legs, as if it might fix the problem. He really needed to look on the internet.....

Matt was secretly glad to be able to sit down at breakfast as his legs felt like noodles, and worse, they felt strained. He had been warned not to overdue it, as he needed to gradually rebuild the strength in his legs, but what was done was done.

Who knew, maybe it would help him in the long run...

'Near' sat with them again, which left the atmosphere at the table rather somber, in Matt's opinion at least. As Mello kept his eyes trained, narrowed, on the albino and if looks could kill, Near would certainly have been nothing more than a pile of dust.

Matt merely shook his head and tried to ignore the both of them. It just wasn't worth it to get involved.

A second before breakfast actually ended he pushed his plate away and stood up, along with a few others, though he didn't know why he knew to stand. Mello had a small smile, so he figured it wasn't a bad thing. Perhaps it was just something that was too far ingrained in his memory to truly forget.

Or he had just been lucky.

He felt Mello's eyes on him the entire way back to the room, and he knew it was because he had yet to ask for help, or stop to rest, despite the burn his legs felt. Not that Mello knew about the last part...

The second he was in the room he flopped onto his bed and groaned.

"I suppose that means you exhausted yourself?" Mello said, and from the way his voice had sounded, he'd shaken his head. "Nope, not exhausted." he flashed a cheeky smile to the blonde who rolled his eyes.

He watched lazily as Mello went to his desk and gathered a few books, textbooks, and glanced at the time.

"You're going to class? Don't I get to go now that I'm out of that hellhole?" Matt sat up and Mello shook his head.

"No, you need to stay and rest like you were told to, especially after your long walk this morning."

Matt lay down on his side, arm over the edge, with a grimace. "I suppose if they want to kill me with boredom they'll get their wish."

Mello looked at the PSP that lay forgotten on his desk, though Matt hadn't really forgotten about it. "You have games to play so I don't see the problem."

"I doubt all I did was play games all day, even I would get bored of that."

"That's for sure..." Mello muttered a little too sarcastically but Matt had caught it. His eyes narrowed and he closed of his expressions. So much for Mello having forgiven him if he still said crap like that.

Mello must have noticed the change as he cringed slightly. "Matt-"

"You better get going, you're almost late." Matt turned his gaze form the blonde and though Mello hesitated for a few moments, obviously having hoped that Matt would turn his attention back to him, he left without another word.

Matt rolled to the side and lay flat on his back, eyes turned to the ceiling.

What great way to start the day he thought dryly.

He laid there for a while, doing nothing more than tracing invisible patterns on the quilt as he stared at the ceiling which was devoid of any cracks. He closed his eyes and sighed. He had nothing more to do than think, at least for the moment.

So he thought on what he knew, which seemed to be everything so long as it didn't have to do with his own life. Computers. He could build them, hack them, create systems for them, protect them. You name it he could do it. Then there were the languages he knew. English, French, Japanese, Russian, Czech, Mandarin, and Polish.

He knew how to fight, though he doubted he could do even half of that now with the state his body was in. Not until he got back to better physical condition at any rate. He knew how to pick locks, set up cameras, and other 'spy' tactics. Espionage was child's play to him... as well as a bunch more useless things.

But all of that meant nothing seeing as he couldn't remember how he knew those things.

And then there was that damn feeling he had... more than like and less than obsession. Love, though he disliked using that term. He couldn't even remember who it was directed at. He rolled over with a sigh only to flail slightly as he almost toppled over the edge.

One 'genius' a week doing something like that was enough.

He rubbed at his eyes irritably. He wanted another cigarette, but he also had a strange craving for coffee. Matt had a feeling that the cravings were just one more thing he needed to get used to, something his body knew he liked, but something his mind couldn't remember.

But he really didn't feel like having to walk anywhere at the moment. His eyes roamed the room and eventually settled on Mello's laptop. Matt had yet to get another one, as he supposed the last one went with the fire.

He moved over to the blonde's desk and seated himself as he flipped the laptop cover up and switched it out of hibernation. He pulled up the internet and began to search for leg strengthening exercises.

He frowned and it only increased with the more sites he looked at. It was mostly the same things the doctor had told him, along with the aquatic therapy. Well, Matt figured, if he hadn't fallen on his ass just yet, he would stick with walking.

And unless he was forced, he would stay away from the pool. He didn't know why, but the more he thought of going into the water, the more apprehension he was filled with. He had to wonder, did he have a bad experience with water?

Were there some things in his memory that were better left forgotten? But he supposed he wouldn't actually know unless he remembered. A catch 22.

He was bored, so he decided to reconfigure the laptops firewalls, as they seemed weak to him. He was in his element, he had all the required tools and information, and he easily lost tract of the time until, at a quick glance, it neared lunch.

He wrinkled his nose a little; he really didn't want to see Mello at the moment. The little jab from that morning still bothered him, intentional or not.

Well, he sort of knew where the kitchens were, as it wouldn't be far from the dinning hall, so he could always eat there. He was sure most, if not all the staff was clued in to at least part of what had happened, so he could always pull the injury card if the tried to force him to eat in the dining hall.

Yeah, he would go that far.

Now, to get to the kitchens... after lunch, which he decided included a coffee, he would definitely want a smoke. He would probably sleep well later on too, as he would be exhausted.

But it was better than only a one hour session in the water every other day, and basic exercises the others. Matt would make his own routine, something that he didn't deem pointless.

Maybe he would add in some easy martial arts moves when his body was a bit stronger. It would definitely help so long as he didn't try anything insane. No flying kicks for him anytime soon.

He reached a pair of doors, that were a little ways away from the dining hall entrance, that he remembered never having gone through before. There weren't many sounds from inside so either he had the right room and everyone was setting things up in the dining hall, or he would walk into the broom closet or something.

He was greeted with the sight of L, who was seated at the island counter, who was in the process of eating a rather large cake. Not a piece, but an _entire_ cake. Matt glanced at the tiny looking fork the detective held between two fingers and shook his head.

He wasn't about to say anything, especially with his nicotine and gaming addictions.

He would start the coffee first. If he could find the coffee.

He reasoned it would probably be with the other ingredients and mixes rather than in one of the cabinets like a small house would have.

"You might try the doors to your left." L commented, voice muffled a bit by the fork in his mouth. Matt looked to his left and saw two wide doors. He hadn't thought the pantry would be big, but judging from the doors...

He opened the doors and his eyes widened. Damn that was a lot of food. Granted most of it had to be made, but still. He could practically see L's amused expression. OK, so he had 'found' the pantry, where in the hell would the coffee be?

"Hm.. perhaps the second shelf at the far end?" L said again and Matt found his lips twitched into a small smile. He spotted the assortment of coffees almost immediately afterwards and walked inside the large pantry to choose.

Matt found that he didn't mind the detectives help as he still allowed Matt to _do_ things while he gave him the information, rather than just doing it for him. He wondered if the detective knew that had started to bother him when people did it; he probably had.

Or maybe it was just a common sense thing, that anyone would get irritated with too much help.

Whatever the reason, he wouldn't question it. Matt chose some exotic, and probably expensive, coffee and set it to brew before he raided the refrigerator for something to eat. He found some left over breakfast pastries and decided they would go good with the coffee.

They weren't as filling as a normal lunch might have been, but it would hold him over until dinner.

Granted, he could have made himself a salad, or a sandwich but he hadn't wanted to put forth the effort when something was already made and ready to eat. Less fuss more energy. He looked back over to L and noticed with amusement that the detective had eaten over half the cake in that small amount of time.

That would have either given Matt a massive sugar rush or a heart attach had he done that.

"Hey L, I have a question, if you don't mind me asking." Matt said, while he searched through the cabinets for a cup. The coffee was ready, but he didn't have a cup.

"You may ask it but I may not give you an answer. The cups are in the next one." L said, his voice laced with amusement, and... curiosity?

"What is going on with Kira, I know I don't really have anything to do with it anymore, especially with my current status, but are we safe here?" it had been a while since he'd really thought of Kira, or as L had told him, Light Yagami. And Matt supposed it might have had to do with Mello having mentioned his previous forms of 'entertainment' that morning.

But it had occurred to him, that despite L having told him everything that had happened, he'd never said one word about the current status.

"In truth, I am only 85% certain we are safe here." L told him as his wide owl like eyes stared off into the distance.

"But even should Kira find us, we have much more security than before, as I now know there is a large threat to Wammys, and my safely. Rest assured, I will catch him."

Matt nodded. But couldn't help but feel less than assured at the only 85% L had given him. That left a large gap of uncertainly. But Matt knew he couldn't afford to dwell too much on it. At least not yet. He had... other things on his mind.

"That is the only case I am currently taking on, so if you wish to speak to me, I will be in my room." L had his thumb pressed to his mouth, and empty cake plate in his hand as he shuffled over to the sink before he left.

Matt supposed that he might have once known where the detective's room was... but all he got when he thought on it was _dust_. Just that word, and nothing else. He would have to ask Mello, or Wammy if he saw him, where L was.

Though if he felt up to it he could probably explore.

As Mello had said, the doctor told him to relax, well his version of 'relax' was to keep his mind occupied. And if that meant he had to wander around the entire damn orphanage to find L, then so be it.

And maybe, it was sort of a challenge...

But Matt didn't mind. However, he wondered if he perhaps, had unconsciously let off a vibe of needing to talk. He had a lot of things on his mind, one more pressing than the others, and he had wanted to speak to L about it...

Matt poured his coffee and took the small plate of pastries over to L's vacated seat and sat down. He sipped at the coffee, still too hot to really drink. He instead, picked up one of the pastries and winced as he bit into it; it was filled with chocolate cream.

He would have preferred the lemon filled or even one of the other fruit ones.

He sighed but ate it anyway, despite it being a little too sweet for him. He took a long drink of the coffee afterwards to rid his mouth of the chocolate. It just tasted odd. He didn't mind actual chocolate, but the cream had an aftertaste.

He pinched part of the flakey pastry off the next one and found it too to be chocolate, he set it aside for Mello, as he knew the blonde would eat it. The next one had a yellow goo in the middle, different from the cream, and decided it was probably lemon.

He ate that, and one more, before he downed the rest of the coffee and deposited his dish into the sink; he had to search the draws for something to place the last pastry into.

With that accomplished he left the kitchens and slowly made his way outside. The warm air caressed his face and it still threw him off as it had the first time; he still expected to face harsh biting wind and snowfall despite the fact that it was spring.

He had been out for months, but his mind hadn't caught up to that. It was as though the accident had happened mere days ago and he woke to a different climate. He disliked it.

He leaned heavily against the railings, afraid that if he sat down he wouldn't be able to get up again. The exact same way that someone who had been walking for miles and miles knew that they could keep going so long as they didn't stop to rest.

Well, maybe not the exact same, but similar enough.

He finished up the cigarette quickly and stuffed the pack back into his pocket as he turned inside. It was only the first day by himself and he was bored. He couldn't go to the kitchens everyday...

The hallways were silent which had Matt wonder just how long he had taken, unless lunch was only just about to be finished, though he doubted that. The room was empty, though Matt hadn't really expected Mello to be there. He placed the pastry on the blonde's desk by the laptop so that it wouldn't be missed.

He flopped down onto his bed the moment that was done.

He yawned and sighed. He hated the fact that the simple act of walking had tired him out so much. He rolled onto his stomach and closed his eyes. A small nap couldn't hurt, and he had been told to rest…

He didn't remember having drifted off, but the fact that the next time he opened his eyes the clock read three fifteen PM rather than sometime after One meant he had. The fact that Mello still wasn't in the room meant classes were probably still on, and Matt lamented over the fact that he had no clue when they got out.

He looked over at Mello's laptop and scoffed. He didn't want to go on it at the moment, and he didn't want to play the games Mello had gotten him. No... Matt decided to search for L. L had all but said that should he find him they could talk.

And Matt had a question he wanted to ask... something he didn't exactly want to ask Mello unless he had to.

He sat up and stretched languidly before he got up. He was out the door before he really had woken up and headed away from the kitchens but didn't bother with the second floor, despite the fact that it would have been hell to climb them. Matt rationalized that L wouldn't be on the second floor, as it would have been too much of a risk having to go down the stairs for everything.

And he doubted that everyone in Wammys had seen him, and he probably wanted to keep it that way, for a while at the least.

Matt also figured that L would be in a place that was quieter, for concentrations sake as well as anonymity, so that meant he was further away from the common room and kitchens, and probably long passed the library, which he and Mello went passed all the time.

He took things slowly despite his eagerness to explore. Mello had only taken him to the more common places, the ones Matt would usually use, so he didn't even really know much of the layout for Wammys.

And he suspected that with how much bigger it supposedly was that the original, Mello didn't either.

He reached the end of the hallway and despite the fact that he normally would have gone right, he chose to go left instead. He continued on down the long hallway until he reached that ones end and looked down both ways, but one of them seemed... familiar.

He found himself halfway down it before he had realized what he was doing. He_ knew_ that place, and the small table with the vase in the hallway. He went further on and stopped in front of a seemingly random door before he knocked on it. "Come in Matt." L's voice called out to him.

Matt's hand froze mid-knock and he swallowed. Just what in the hell had happened? How in the _hell _had he known where to go?

His hand shook as he turned the knob and let the door swing inward. L sat on an armchair, in his familiar and awkward way, and ate what looked like animal crackers. "You seem to be doing rather well, Matt." the detective said as he bit the head off of what appeared to be a panda.

Matt assumed he meant his memory. Which really wasn't doing any better. But he knew he didn't need to explain anything to him.

Matt didn't wait to be asked to have a seat and instead dropped himself down onto the small couch opposite L's computer desk. If the doctor knew how much exercise he'd done he would probably strap him to his bed and force him to rest.

Matt frowned. What a horrid thought.

L continued to bit the heads off of the animal crackers, and made no move to start a conversation, nor did he even bother to look at Matt. Rather, he continued to stare at a small packet of printouts that he held loosely in the air between his thumb and index fingers.

What would he ask? He doubted that one such as L knew anything specific about what he was feeling, but surely he would know if Matt had been with someone at Wammys... right?

"This may be a rather strange question to ask. But did I have a girlfriend at Wammys... the previous one?" he added in the last part, though it still sounded odd to him. Though calling them Wammys 1 and Wammys 2 would have been ridiculous.

L glanced at him, an odd gleam in his eyes.

"Why would you ask me that?" L asked and cocked his head to the side. The detective rather reminded him of an owl.

Matt hesitated in answering. He knew he could trust L... but at the same time...

"I can remember having strong feelings... I'm in love with someone, but I don't know who. That's why I asked." Matt had a feeling his face was flushed, but figured it didn't really matter as he doubted the detective would point it out.

"Hmm... I have no knowledge of you being with anyone; however I will admit that I regretfully paid little attention to my successor's lives before this incident. It is something I will make an attempt at changing in the future."

Matt felt only slightly disappointed, as he hadn't really expected L to know, as it would have been far too easy.

"You should ask Mello if you have not done so already, as you were roommates at the time; and to my knowledge and spent a fair amount of time with each other." L stated, though his tone had changed slightly when he'd said the last part, though Matt couldn't figure out why.

"Alright, thanks L." he pushed himself off the couch and managed to only wobble ever so slightly as he stood.

"Matt, catch."

Matt had only just enough time to catch a small plastic bag filled with red wrapped candies. He looked at L questioningly but the detective only shrugged. Ok....

"Also, I understand that you are eager to get back to your previous form but try not to overdo it?"

Matt smiled a bit at that and supposed that it was more than obvious he'd been a bit over active that day. "I'll try." he wouldn't promise anything as he didn't want to have to break it, besides, L had only asked him to 'try'.

He made sure that he closed the door gently on his way out, though he doubted it would have disturbed the detective had he slammed it.

He stuffed the candies into his pocket, the one opposite his cigarettes, which were probably crushed from his earlier nap. He knew that he would remember the way to L's now that he'd been to the room, though he supposed he'd already 'remembered' the way.

He passed the common room and found it to be filled with loud, rowdy children so Matt knew that Mello was likely to be in their room once he got there. And he was.

He was seated at his desk with the laptop on and searching for something, or perhaps doing a project. He closed the door softly but Mello had heard him anyway and stopped typing.

"Thanks." he gave Matt a small smile and gestured to the empty wrappings that had covered the chocolate pastry.

Mat nodded and shrugged a shoulder. "It was left over from my lunch. I didn't really like the other chocolate one, so when I found the other I figured I bring it back." Matt grabbed his PSP off the nightstand and lay down on his bed, feet on either side of his pillow and head at the foot of the bed.

He shifted to get comfortable and his pocket crinkled making Mello arch an eyebrow.

Matt rolled his eyes and dug the small bag from his pocket, pulled free two of the candies and tossed one to the blonde who caught it and stared at it. "What is it?" he asked, though he had already begun to unwrap it.

"I have no idea." Matt said as he popped his own into his mouth.

"OK, then where the hell did you get it?" Mello held the round, red, candy in his hand while he looked expectantly at Matt for an answer.

"From L." Mello pouted slightly at that and Matt felt his stomach flop.

"When did you see him?" Mello questioned as he licked the candy experimentally, as though to see if it tasted well enough to eat, and having deemed it so, placed it into his mouth.

"At lunch... and when I found his room." Matt hoped the blonde wouldn't get mad at him, as he knew Mello really liked L. "You've been busy today." was all Mello said, so Matt figured everything was fine.

"Yup, and I didn't amuse myself with anything illegal." Matt couldn't resist and watched in slight satisfaction as Mello winced.

"Sorry about that..." Mello murmured quietly. Matt was surprised a little, he didn't think Mello was the type to readily apologize, but he wouldn't take it for granted.

"It's fine.." he figured it was more of Mello trying to get rid of his frustrations in any way possible, and if Mello was miserable then everyone else had to be as well. Misery loves company and all that.

It had looked as though Mello might say something but a slightly odd expression crossed his face. "This is filled with chocolate..."

Matt bit into his own candy and found it to be true. Huh. Cinnamon and chocolate. What an odd pair.

And yet, the flavors matched well.

Go figure.

**-End **_**Misunderstanding**_**-**

**AN:** *falls over* my hands are _killing_ me. Damn snowstorm making the weather crap. And anyone catch the reference to MelloMatt at the end? *yes I am that lame*

And tell me if you spot any errors I missed, I've been busy as all hell the last few days and tired so I'm sure I missed something.

**SN**: K, so I got the job. What this means for you guys. Well, I will be working nights now, from 11pm-7am. And here's the problem. I usually write/edit at night. So things will be very slow going for a while as I'm going to have to get used to staying up all night (rather than till my usual 3am) and sleeping all day. So updates may only be once every week or if I need more time to adjust, biweekly. This will go for my future fics as well.

The only good thing is that I have to do my training first, which has to be during the day, so I MIGHT be able to get this posted before I go to nights. No promises.

Sorry!

**Special thanks to reviewers**: fadedlines, DeathNotes-Matt-Chan, tsuki1613, Floppy-IDon'tCareWhatYouThink, Fused-Chappy, Kara 'Nine', Rainbowjapan, Zellicy, ShyClown, sugarsuicide, CutmeawayMyPenMyHand, xHanako, crownedclown3293, xzombieViolinistx, Miss-Dreev, Amaya-Ai, The Sora-muffin, Enjy, foreverunloved, Salvi, Mezzanotte Nera, Living in a fantasy, snappygirl, (Accountl), Moonphase9 _**(you guys spoil me…)**_


	23. Chapter 21: Awkward

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note

**AN**: *cough* OK My excuses: OMG I HAD this to post on the 1st but for some reason the edited version had gotten written over by the next chapter. :(

And then I started my night training… (and will be by myself on Tuesday as the 4 sessions of training are done) And then I got sick. So yeah… (I will also be editing it again when I have time, as I'm not confident I got everything but didn't want to make you guys wait any longer)

But it's a nice and long chapter.... don't mind me… my fingers are just falling off...

**Suggested Listening**: What You Wanted **by** Landon**;** Out! **By** Lunatica

**Chapter Twenty-one:** _Awkward _

Matt resisted the urge to sigh as he pulled out the PSP and kept it hovered above his lap. He hadn't asked Mello the question the night before, and with the way things had started that day, it didn't look like he would anytime soon either.

There just wasn't really a way to bring it up in their conversations. He would just have to... ask. There wasn't anything particularly difficult about the question. But knowing Mello, he would question _why_ Matt wanted to know if he'd been seeing anyone, and Matt wasn't sure if he wanted Mello to know he was... in love with someone.

Especially since he couldn't even remember who it was.

Matt had to wonder if he was simply procrastinating with the entire thing and going out of his way to make up excuses for himself.

Yes it would be a bit awkward to ask Mello, but he didn't necessarily have to tell him that he was in love with someone... and he could lie about his reasons for asking.... though he'd rather not have to.

Matt ignored the urge to pull at his hair. Only Mello could get him so damn frustrated.

Then there was the other thing that Matt had noticed. Mello, as of late, had taken to glancing at him whenever he thought Matt wasn't paying attention, and he always had a the same sad look. He knew it was because of him, but he still wondered at it.

Sure he more than understood that he was the blonde's best friend, and that it would hurt to be forgotten, but sometimes... it just seemed like there was more to it.

Matt rubbed his eyes at the twisty feeling he got in his gut at his friends obvious torment. But also... it reminded him of that other feeling, the one that he could only describe as... love. But surely it had nothing to do with the blonde, right?

Matt didn't even want to think on that anymore.

Because it didn't seem to help him at all and only made things worse by having him get more confused than he already was in that situation.

He sighed and softly tossed the handheld onto his bed. He had already played it most of the day, with the exception of when he'd walked to lunch with Mello, who for once hadn't even glanced at the wheelchair that sat by itself in the corner.

Matt hoped he wouldn't burn himself out so he could keep himself out of that. He really did hate being in it.

He stretched and stood up, legs only slightly unsteady despite his aching muscles. He had definitely overdone it the day before, if the burning sensation in his muscles was anything to go by.

But at least it was some sort of progress rather than sitting around and having the doctor dictate what his schedule should be. Matt disliked authority and had no problem attempting to throw a wrench into their plans at every turn.

He wondered if it had anything to do with his time working for Kira as it seemed everything came back to that man.

_Everything_.

He walked into the bathroom and flicked the light on but didn't bother with to lock the door behind him. He had been reminded of something he'd overheard the doctor speaking with Wammy about. He had never taken the time to actually look before as it wasn't a pressing matter in his mind, something he was more curious about than concerned.

He lifted his shirt and turned so that he could see parts of his side and back. He peered closely, and searched until he found them. Apparently he had many faded scars on himself, but unless you were looking for them, or were rather close up, they weren't noticeable.  
He wondered if they were the product of having worked for Kira too.

It wouldn't surprise him.

"Matt?" Mello's voice called from the other side and Matt allowed his striped shirt to drop back down and left the bathroom. He had confirmed what he'd heard at any rate.

"Checking up on me when I'm in the bathroom too Mello?" he watched in amusement as the blondes face flushed for a second before Mello scowled at him.

"No, just making sure you hadn't disappeared again to smoke those nasty cancer sticks of yours." Mello turned away from him and Matt rolled his eyes. Someone didn't like to be embarrassed.

"Sure Mello." he heard Mello growl and dodged the wrapper thrown at him, and was glad it wasn't a book. He paused. That was an odd thought; Mello had never thrown a book at him... right?

"Hey Mello... have you ever thrown a book at me?" he watched the blonde stiffen and turn to face him, a slightly hopeful expression flickered across his face before being replaced with something more neutral.

"Not lately. Why did you remember something?" Mello answered carefully, his eyes bored into Matt's covered ones which made him a little uncomfortable.

"Not so much as remember as... I thought something." Matt knew he hadn't really made any sense, if Mello's expression was anything to go by, but it had sounded right in his head. Just not aloud apparently.

"Just... never mind. OK?" he watched as Mello nodded, a thoughtful expression taking over. He shook his head. He really should keep those things to himself if he couldn't explain anything properly when asked about it.

Matt sighed again, as Mello pulled out a textbook and sat down at his laptop to do, what Matt assumed, was a new assignment.

Well Mello would obviously be of no entertainment value what so ever. And Matt knew he used to be content with simply playing games, but ever since he'd woken he felt... restless. It may have just been left over anxiety from things he couldn't remember, but whatever it was had him wanting to pace around the room, which he knew Mello would not appreciate.

"Mello... I'm going to go to the library for a while." he smirked slightly at the noncommittal answer, and the half wave, he received in return. He wondered how long before what he'd told the blonde actually registered in his brain.

It didn't really matter, as Matt knew he'd be back before dinner, so he quietly slipped from the room. It didn't take him long to get to the library, and despite never having been inside it, the look was familiar to him.

There was no one in there and Matt had time to spare so he decided to just...wander. Perhaps see if something caught his attention, be it a book or magazine. The library was huge and had hundreds, maybe thousands of books.

There was a section for what seemed every subject, and that was only the first floor. He skimmed the computer section though quickly grew bored as he knew mostly everything there, and the things he didn't did not apply to him.

His gloved fingers ran across the spines of the books as he passed them, nothing quite catching his interest. All of those books were strictly educational, no novels of any kind. And at the moment, he didn't feel like learning.

Not even more languages, not that he'd probably ever have to use the ones he already knew.  
With a sigh he made his way up the flight of stairs, slowly, and had to sit on the top step, legs aching and weak. He really should have thought it over a little more before he decided to climb the steps, he was lucky his legs hadn't given out.

That would have been bad. One head injury was enough for him.

With a frown, he crawled away from the edge, still unsure if his legs would hold him. At least if he fell it wouldn't be off the stairs.

The second floor had less shelves due to its design, but still a vast amount. He scanned the metal plaques on the sides of the shelves until 'Mystery' caught his eye. So they did have novels there...

And they were bound to be good, as he doubted a house for genius children would have crappy ones they could solve in their sleep. He browsed through the titles until one jumped out at him, and repeated the process until he had three books.

That way, if he disliked one, he could always move onto one of the others.

He moved over to the small set up of chairs that was situated in the middle of the space between the stairs and the windows. He settled down with 'In the Event of My Death' and found that it was a rather interesting book, though he had easily figured out the killer once all the characters had been introduced.

The woman in the book had just been clubbed to death in the snow when a hand touched his shoulder and he jumped. He looked up to see Mello, who wore a more than amused expression.

"You were gone for a while; we're already a little late for dinner."

Matt smiled sheepishly at the blonde and stood, his joints protested after the long while in the uncomfortable position he'd chosen to sit in. He glanced back at the books and Mello sighed before he picked them up with a look that dared Matt to say something.

Matt smiled at him and Mello merely hurried to go down the stairs. He probably could have carried them down on his own, perhaps, but if Mello felt like being nice then Matt wouldn't complain. Matt's legs wobbled and strained under his weight with every step he took but they didn't buckle.

He reached the first floor with nothing more than a slight stumble and felt that he definitely had to have made some sort of progress to not have fallen on his ass yet. Just a few days ago he doubted he could have even made it up the stairs, never mind down them.

"Hurry up; I want to be able to eat in peace." Mello mumbled though he made no move to get Matt to walk faster. Matt stuffed his hands in his pockets and his back naturally forced him into a slouch, as he had grown accustomed to doing many weeks before. Matt moved his feet a little quicker, but tried not to force himself least he tire too quickly.

It seemed like the entirety of the dining hall eyed them as they walked in, or in Matt's case was pushed in. Matt stuck with the foods that were meant to be cold, and ignored the ones that had cooled to room temperature like the soups.

Mello scowled in disgust at the food choices, or the leftovers, and ended up with much the same as Matt. He set the redheads books onto the table and forced himself to eat the salad.  
For Matt, he wasn't bothered by the silence, as he knew it was only due to their rather rushed dinner. Though it was partly his fault, Mello could have gone to find him sooner...

The salad Matt had procured was wilted somewhat, and the dressing had gone bitter as things had settled to the bottom, but the fruit he'd grabbed had tasted alright. Though knowing his luck it had probably been poisoned or something.

He heard the tell tail snap and knew Mello had taken to eating chocolate, though he still couldn't figure out why the blonde seemed to eat something that made him unhappy. He knew Mello loved chocolate, but he always frowned and sometimes glared at the brand he ate.

"Hey Mello?" he asked quietly, although he wondered if Near was paying attention despite his aloof appearance. Mello raised an eyebrow as chocolate hung from his lips. Matt swallowed harshly and shook off the offending heat that threatened to burn his ears.

"Why do you eat that if you don't enjoy it?" Mello looked surprised at his question though Matt wasn't sure why; it was rather obvious Mello didn't like it.

"Roger doesn't let me have the good stuff... I'm actually surprised you noticed." Mello shrugged and took another bite, though he no longer bothered to hide the wince at the taste.

Matt wondered if Roger liked anyone as he never seemed to give them a break.

The one time he'd come across the man, he'd been frowned at, and given a look that suggested he were no better than a bug on a dissection table. Though Matt supposed it could have been due to the whole spy gig.

"Why not ask L then?" his voice dropped even lower, as it wasn't known that L was there, and Matt didn't want to be the one to break the silence on that matter.

Mello scoffed. "Because L has better things to do. Like the Kira case. Honestly Matt use your brain, I know you've got one."

Matt wasn't so sure, if L's offer for them to talk at any time was anything to go by, that Mello was entirely correct. Yes, L was busy, but even L took time off for things when his heirs were concerned.

L had even said he'd wanted to get to know them better. But perhaps it was best just to drop the subject...

So Matt allowed the conversation to end and didn't bother to try and fill the silence. He was tired anyway, at any rate, so he doubted he would have been able to keep up. He wondered how he hadn't noticed it before while he had been reading.

It seemed obvious now, and he honestly felt ready to just curl up and sleep.

But that would be a problem in the current situation, so he did nothing more than wait for Mello to finish and follow the blonde out of the dining hall once it was time to go. He yawned, none too carefully, behind a hand and stumbled through the threshold to their room.

**He closed the door with his foot and noted how Mello had tossed his books on the end of his bed. They wouldn't fall as he usually never tossed about in his sleep. He tugged his boots off, along with his shirt and jeans, and crawled into bed.**

**  
He didn't care how early it was, he wouldn't have been able to stay up. He thought he heard **

**Mello exhale sharply as he pulled the covers over himself but didn't open his eyes to see.**

**  
He was asleep before he could utter any more words.**

-

He sat bolt upright in bed, heart hammering painfully in his chest, as he gasped for air. He slapped a hand over his mouth until he was able to control his breathing, and it was honestly a miracle that Mello hadn't woken from that.

He slid from the bed, heart still beating faster than healthy, and gently closed the bathroom door behind him. He flipped on the light and winced as his eyes adjusted. He turned the tap onto cold and splashed his face a few times and leaned foreword onto the counter with his eyes closed.

He had dreamed of a faceless shadowy figure. 'He' had been speaking to Matt, though he couldn't make out any of the words that had been said, or more like he just couldn't understand them.

The figure had... scared him.

Had sent a shiver down his spine as his faceless head turned to stare at him. It was as thought he were able to see into his soul and pull his fear out into the open. He had held a hand up, inky black fingers wrapped around a shinny metal gun.

Matt supposed that was when his heart had begun to beat wildly and then the shot had rang out and he could _feel_ the bullet as it hit him in the head.

He sucked in a breath and held it until he saw spots.

It had felt so damn real. And so damn painful. Matt wondered if that's what it had felt like when he had actually been shot. And there was something about the faceless figure that was like stepping into an ice bath.

Something truly frightening.

And Matt knew it was useless to try and figure out why. It could have been someone he once knew, maybe Kira, or it could have just been his shooter as they had never identified the charred remains that had been found near them after the fire.

He shivered and quickly returned to the warmth of his bed though he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep again any time soon. He supposed it was a good thing that he'd gone to bed early, as he was awake at nearly five thirty in the morning.

He ran a hand across his face with a sigh before he took out his PSP. He could read, but it was a bit too dark out still and he wasn't sure he wanted to read about murder at the moment, fiction or not.

He knew Mello could sense something was off about him the moment he woke up, it was just the heavy and tense feeling of the room, something Matt couldn't do anything about. When Mello went into the bathroom Matt decided he'd spent enough time 'not' worrying about the dream and dressed himself.

He ended up with the handheld still in his hands even as they entered the dining hall, and he would have continued to play it but Mello snatched it from his grip with a glare and shoved it somewhere into his pants.

The look he gave Matt _dared_ him to reach for it. And while it might have been good for entertainment value, as he was certain Mello would have flipped, he rather liked living at the moment.

"You could have just told me to turn it off, but if you have to have your daily fix of hard things in your pants, that's fine too." Matt drawled just loud enough to make a few people snicker. Mello was highly unamused, and hid his flushed cheeks behind his hair rather well.

Matt had a feeling he wasn't going to get the PSP back even after breakfast, but that was alright, he had his books.

Matt drank down the orange soda, as he refused to drink any sort of juice after having been tortured with it in the infirmary, and swallowed the last mouthful of food as Mello stormed out of the room along with the other children.

Yup, Mello wasn't happy.

But Matt wasn't about to waste any energy on what Mello had started. Mello should just be thankful he hadn't tried to retrieve the game. He could almost imagine the trouble that would have caused. And the look of horror on Roger's face when he found out, as they would have undoubtedly gotten into trouble for something like that.

Well, that might have been worth death, as Mello would have strangled him.

"You're on game restriction until I get back." the blonde snarled the moment he walked into the room, even as he continued to gather books for his classes.

"Don't stay pissed over something you began or you'll be out of chocolate before lunch." Matt warned, though he wasn't sure if Mello would put forth the effort of eating that chocolate as he seemed to hate it despite his addiction.

Mello's back stiffened for a moment before he sighed heavily and ran a hand through his choppy blond hair. "I really hate you sometimes, you know that?" Mello replied halfheartedly.

"And hate is a form of love." Matt tossed back as he flopped onto the bed and pulled out the book he was mostly done with, but he still caught the odd look Mello had shot him.

"I suppose it is...." He watched as Mello piled all his books into a book bag and slung it across his shoulder.

"I _hate_ you." he heard Mello whisper on his way out, but the way he'd said it... it left Matt with a very confused feeling and he cursed the blonde for having messed with his thoughts again.

He soon pushed the thoughts aside, as he only came up with more questions that he wanted and went back to the book, which though short, was rather interesting. He laughed, only a few short chapters later, as the killer was revealed and the characters scrambled to save themselves.

He was remotely happy that the book hadn't really ended on a romantic note, as that would have ruined the feel the author had maintained for the entire book. He set that one aside and picked up the largest of the three, as he had nothing planned for quite a while, and began to read.

He was a little more than surprised to see Mello, what seemed like only minutes later, as he stood in front of him with a scowl.

"Matt, get your ass up! Am I going to have to start setting an alarm for breakfast, lunch and dinner?" Mello's voice sounded frustrated as Matt glanced over at the clock to see that it was just past twelve, the start of lunch.

He had been reading for a good few hours but had gotten so absorbed in the book it had seemed like minutes. He sighed at Mello's expression and marked his place as he slid from the bed. Mello didn't say anything more to him the entire way to lunch, though the issue didn't seem to be with Matt as he heard Mello mutter something about Near under his breath.

And his theory was proven when Mello caught sight of the albino, once inside the dining hall, and snarled. Matt didn't really care so long as it didn't have to do with him. There had been enough awkward moments between them already and if a situation came up where it was directed towards someone else, well, who was he to complain?

He picked out random foods that he couldn't remember ever having eaten and sat down at the table as Mello began a one-sided argument with Near about something from one of their classes.

Matt lost interest soon after Mello started, as he knew it was probably just Mello having the issue, though with the slight change in Near's expression, the albino _could_ have started it.

Or he was just amused with Mello.

It could have been either.

Matt wondered just how long he would be kept out of classes. He had a feeling that he'd be bored in them, but it had to be better than his current arrangement. Perhaps if he was able to show that walking wasn't tiring him out as much, as the different classes were not that far apart and all he had to do was 'sit' in them, then he would be off of that annoying bed rest.  
Not that he actually followed it, but that wasn't the point.

Matt, as he took a bite out of a sticky pudding like substance, spit it back out with a groan. Whatever that was, was disgusting. The only good thing was, he knew what not to eat now....  
He pushed the remains of his lunch aside and waited for the end so he could go back to his book. The only reason he'd even left it was Mello... he sighed, but supposed it had been a good thing as he had needed to eat, despite the surprise food.

Matt had his hand on Mello's arm the second the blonde had stood up, fist drawn back, and ready to hit Near. "Mello, I really would prefer not to have to hear you later complaining about Roger 'and' Near should you hit him in the middle of a crowded room." he stated dryly to the blonde, who until now had been glaring at him.

Mello grit his teeth and stormed off. Something about it seemed eerily familiar and he closed his eyes as his head began to hurt. There was something...

"I should have let him hit you, apparently." he told the albino who had fixed his eyes on him. He _had_ told Near he wouldn't stop Mello the next time he started something. Well, he couldn't be blamed for not having remembered until _after_, right?

Matt stood and walked away, as there was no point in being there anymore, and made his way to the room. Mello wasn't there and Matt shook his head with a sigh. Mello was too high strung, honestly...

Instead of simply settling back down with the book he decided to take it with him to the kitchens for a cup of coffee. He waited around fifteen minutes before he actually left, as it would have given everyone time to get back to classes and for the kitchen staff to get things done.

The hallways were silent and not a soul wandered, Matt being the only exception.  
The kitchens were empty, much to Matt's delight, and he set about making the coffee as he knew where everything was for a change. He had just replaced the coffee when the door opened to reveal L, who inclined his head in greeting.

He watched the detective head for the fridge and smirked despite himself. With L not wanting his presence to be known he certainly left his room a lot. Though Matt knew that even L probably needed to have a change of scenery ever so often so he didn't get frustrated.  
L was, despite what everyone seemed to think, human.

Matt pulled a cup down from the cabinet and set it beside the coffee maker as L set his cake on the table and sat down. That was the second time, within current memory, that he'd been in this situation with L.

As Matt didn't leave his and Mello's room everyday, he wondered if L came to the kitchens at least once a day. But he wouldn't ask.

"L, would it be possible to get a box of chocolate a week for Mello....?" Matt asked suddenly, as he had only just thought of it.

"It is possible. Though I must ask; is there something wrong with the kind he is provided with?" L had placed his thumb to his lips and his owlish eyes stared at him, his question curious rather than irritated.

"He hates the stuff Roger 'forces' him to eat." Matt replied, though his gaze was on the coffee pot. Almost done...

"Why not ask Roger?"

Matt snorted a laugh. "Roger has a grudge against Mello, and didn't like me much before the whole spy thing. And from the look he gave me the one time I passed him in the hall since then, probably hates me now." Matt wondered if he shouldn't have said anything, it wasn't like L didn't have enough things to do, despite his small breaks in routine.

"It's not a problem. I have given Roger specific instructions to allow my successors any small requests they have, and I believe a preferred brand of chocolate falls under that."

"Don't you mean 'cater to our addictions' instead?" L merely smiled at that though he did set aside the fork as his hunched form turned on the chair.

"What brand would Mello prefer than?"

Matt froze. Well damn, he didn't have an answer for L as he hadn't asked. He had to have known before... he just needed to remember.

It was right there, on the tip of his tongue, so close he could almost...

He closed his eyes in irritation as pain seeped between his eyes. It was a sharp pain, throbbing, and he felt nausea bubble in his stomach. "Green & Blacks." he mumbled and winced again as the pain didn't fade in the slightest.

"Perhaps, in the future, you should not try and force yourself to remember things." L told him with a small, what Matt would describe, look of sympathy.

"Yeah, I think I agree." he wrinkled his nose as if it might help disperse the pain. It seemed that he had given himself a migraine, not exactly the best thing in the world to have. He hoped the coffee would help, because he doubted he'd be able to fall asleep as an escape, with or without the coffee's caffeinated help.

Though caffeine was good for headaches, right?

"So much for reading my book peacefully." he mumbled under his breath, though he had a feeling that L had still heard him. Or maybe he had read his lips. It didn't really matter either way.

At that moment Matt didn't care if he would get in trouble later or not, but he no longer wished to stay in the kitchen or slink off to the library as planned. He made a note to look up things on head injuries in either the library or on Mello's computer.

He could also talk to the doctor... but Matt easily dismissed that idea. He didn't want the man to suddenly prescribe some drug or something for him as doctors seemed to like to do. "Later, L." he called to the detective, after he had fixed his coffee and cleaned his mess.

L gave a half-wave though he did not look up from his cake. Matt shook his head slightly. It was amazing that he could eat that much cake in one sitting and not make himself sick. But the same could be said for him and his cigarettes he supposed.

He rubbed at his temple again, though it didn't make any difference.

He tucked the book under his arm, the one that held the coffee cup, and pushed the door to his room open. He kicked off his boots as the door shut and padded softly over to the nightstand on his side of the room and deposited the book and the coffee.

With a small, mostly irritated, sigh he pulled his goggles off and laid them beside the book. They hadn't been doing anything to even remotely help his headache. Migraine. Whatever he had...

He flopped to the bed and curled onto his side, arm under the pillow while his other hand reached for the coffee. Really it was always one thing or another with him wasn't it? What was next, heart attack?

He sighed softly and sipped at the hot liquid, though he kept his eyes closed, careful not to spill it. He had no idea if the caffeine would help, but he didn't mind trying it out.  
He'd remembered something at least. Not something major, but probably important by Mello's standards. If it weren't for the sharp pain in his skull he may have entertained the idea of trying to force his memories.

But he just couldn't find it worth it if all he got was constant pain. He had no idea what would happen when he remembered something major on his own, but it had to be better than what he felt then.

He kept his eyes closed long after the coffee had been finished, and had fallen into a relaxed state where he wasn't asleep but neither was he completely awake either. He had to have lain there for a while as the next thing he knew he heard Mello enter the room.

He smirked as Mello's heavy steps had softened as the blonde took a good look at him; Matt supposed Mello thought him asleep. "I'm awake Mello." he sat up and blinked his eyes a few times and was more than a little relieved to not have a razor like pain attack him.

"You alright?" Mello asked hesitantly, as though he hadn't wanted to appear concerned.

"I'm fine, I just had a headache earlier." Matt couldn't exactly tell him the reason, as he wanted the chocolate to be a surprise, and he didn't really want to admit to having forced a memory as Mello would more than likely have yelled at him.

Mello seemed to have accepted the answer as there as no more discussion on the matter. Instead, Mello pulled free a textbook and buried himself in it. Matt withheld a sigh. It seemed he was on his own again, though he really would have rather done something with the blonde, as he still felt an odd air about them from that mornings conversation.

But he knew he would leave Mello be as the blonde obviously had better things to do. Though where that left him, Matt didn't know, as he was left with only the same things to do. He glanced at Mello again before he wordlessly picked up the previously discarded novel.  
He would be aright so long as his eyes didn't tire or the headache come back.

Though the book was good, it just couldn't hold his attention anymore. He found that his mind drifted after every few pages, and it was always back to the same subject. He sighed, irritated with himself, and looked up from the book.

"Mello, I have a question."

Mello seemed to have ignored him, as there was a few moments of silence, until the blonde marked the page and stared up at him, as though through that gesture alone Matt was given permission to continue.

"To your knowledge, have I been in a relationship with anyone currently, Wammys or otherwise?" Matt forced the words from his mouth before he decided to ask something else.

"I doubt it. You spent most of your time with me or playing your games. Why the sudden need to know that?" Mello had narrowed his eyes slightly; his eyes had gained a calculating expression and Matt sighed inaudibly.

Matt shrugged. "I just wanted to know more about myself. I figured it would be normal for me to have been with someone, spy or not."

"Since when were you normal?" Mello questioned with a smirk.

"Go back to your books." Matt told the blonde with a smile, though the moment Mello looked away the smile faded.

So not even Mello knew anything. That either meant he had hidden who he'd been with very carefully, or he had never confronted that person. He watched as Mello attempted to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear, only for it to fall back into his face a second later.

Matt closed his eyes with a frown. The more time he spent with Mello, the more he wanted it to be him he was in love with.

Not good.

Not good at all.

_**-**_** End **_**Awkward-**_

**AN:** OMG, this chapter WOULD NOT END! Aside from the absurdly long chapter, how was everything? (you know what's weird, as I'm writing this, it's x-mas eve. You poor souls probably wont get this till months later...lol)

**Special thank to reviews**: DaphneRaynard, SilverCrescentX, daniclone, Rainbowjapan, xHanako, Enjy, Yaoiluver190, The Sora-muffin, Amaya-Ai, fadedlines, Fused-Chappy, fake-lis, Kari Twilight Mist, foreverunloved, Living in a fantasy, snappygirl, kat716, Miss-Dreev, Salvi, Mimo-chan, ShyClown, Zellicy, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, Kara 'Nine', xzombieViolinistx

(if I forgot anyone im terribly sorry)

_**Review???**_


	24. Chapter 22: Almost

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note

**AN: **You will hate me for this.... you really will...buwahahah! :)

And thank you to Amaya-Ai who made my day. I updated this for you.

**Suggested listening**: Mosh N' Church **by **The Used**; **Suicide on My Mind **by **Angtoria (no worries, song has nothing to do with the chapter.)

**Chapter Twenty-Two**: _Almost _

It was two days later, close to becoming three, and there was still no sign of the chocolate L said he would get. Though Matt was neither annoyed nor concerned that L had forgotten. L probably had to take extra precautions when he shipped things to the new Wammys location now that Kira was out for blood.

Matt did hope it got there soon, as Mello seemed more irritable every day that passed as he ate less and less chocolate; he always frowned in displeasure at the generic brand of chocolate.

Matt sighed a little and rolled to the side of his bed and his eyes flickered to the closed bathroom door. Mello was in there, and had been, for the better part of an hour. Just for a shower.

Matt hardly took ten minutes when he was in there.

Had they been living in an apartment he was sure Mello would have used up all of the hot water. Matt was thankfully spared any cold showers, unless he _chose_ to take one.

The only reason Matt had known how long the blonde had been in there, was he'd gotten back from the infirmary just as Mello had gone in.

Matt had finally tired of doing absolutely nothing all day long, and gone to the doctor to request he be placed back into classes. The doctor had made him do a few stupid tests to see if he was physically and mentally 'up for the task'.

Matt rolled his eyes. He was probably smarter than the man in most areas and yet the doctor didn't trust Matt with knowing his own body. Though Matt figured that the man had probably treated many who had overestimated their own prowess.

But Matt had passed all of the tests and was allowed back into classes as of the next day. Though he'd still been told to take it easy, and the doctor had still pushed for the aquatic therapy. But Matt had told him flat out, as he'd finally decided, that he'd rather not do that.

The doctor had seemed disappointed and Matt got the feeling that the man would either go above him and pester L about it, or continue to ignore his protests and push the therapy along.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose. He wished he could remember why he disliked water. Or at least water outside of taking showers. He knew that if he could supply a valid reason the doctor would back off, but Matt was stuck for the moment.

He heard the shower turn off but ignored it in favor of the PSP he'd abandoned on his nightstand. The game had just reached the start screen when Mello walked from the bathroom, shirtless.

The blonde had taken to towel drying his hair so his face was covered and he didn't spot Matt in the room. Otherwise Matt was sure Mello would have covered his scars. As Mello turned to toss the towel, directly from his head, into his laundry pile, Matt was able to see the full expanse of the blonde's burns.

They jutted out from under the yellow hair and down the left side of his back and shoulder only to stop by his left hip. Matt wondered just how far they ran down the front.

Mello froze the second he spotted Matt in the room, his muscles tense. Mello walked stiffly to his dresser and pulled out a small jar, a cream of some kind from what Matt had seen, and sat on the edge of his bed, still unwilling to make further eye contact.

From what Matt had gathered, Mello's scars were a source of pain, beyond the physical, for the blonde.

And Matt could certainly understand why, as he finally saw the extent of damage. However, Matt didn't think they really took anything away from Mello, rather they added something to him... something dangerous.

Though he doubted Mello would have believed him had he told him.

He looked up at the sound of a swear and saw Mello struggle to get the cream onto his back. The scars were still inflamed and Mello winced as the skin stretched due to his actions. Wounds like his would take a long time to fully heal.

Matt stood up, pulled his gloves off, and took the small jar from Mello's hand which startled the blonde in the process.

"Just let me help, ok?" Matt wasn't sure what to make of Mello's silence, so he took the initiative and scooped up a liberal amount of the colorless goo and smeared it across Mello's back before he began to rub it onto the wounds in a soft, circular motion.

Mello had tensed up initially but as Matt had worked more of the stuff onto the reddened flesh, his shoulders had slumped and Matt smirked at the small sigh that the blonde released. Matt really had no idea why he'd suddenly decided to do that...

But it seemed it had been the correct decision.

Mello flinched when his hands had gone lower to cover the area above his hip, which stretched across his side to a small portion in front. Mello, whose eyes had previously been closed, opened them the second the cream touched his neck and shoulders.

He noted how Mello's face was slightly flushed and wondered if Mello was embarrassed by this.

Matt felt the shiver as his thumb brushed against the sensitive skin of Mello's neck and he couldn't help but trail his fingers up the blondes jaw line. Mello's blue eyes watched him intently and Matt felt himself lean foreword, though Mello appeared to do the same.

He had no idea what he was doing...

His fingers rested against Mello's cheek and his heart raced.

He really should stop...

Their lips were so close that Matt could almost feel Mello's breaths. Three loud knocks on the door startled them apart and Matt nearly dropped the jar of cream. He sucked in a breath and was thankful he'd been stopped before he'd done something stupid.

Mello's expression was that of shock and Matt cringed.

He set the jar down and opened the door. Roger stood there, with a rather irritated scowl on his face, that deepened as he looked passed Matt, to what the redhead could only assume was Mello.

Who was probably still shirtless.

"L has requested your presence. I will show you how to get to his room." Roger told him. Matt took a small glance back at Mello, but the blonde had looked away and had started to rub some of the cream onto his face. It was going to be very awkward, for Matt at the very least, when he got back.

He really hoped the chocolate had come in...

Matt nodded to Roger, just so the man would stop with the suspicious glances at Mello, and shut the door behind him.

"You don't need to escort me, I know the way." Matt muttered, and he touched his cheek to find the flesh heated. Damn. Mello really messed with his mind...

"That's fine by me as I have plenty more to do." Roger didn't so much as give him a backwards glance as he walked off down the hall. Seriously, that guy really needed to get over whatever issues he had with him. But Matt supposed so long as he wasn't placed in any danger because of it, he shouldn't care.

It was Roger's job on the line not his.

As soon as Roger was out of sight Matt made a detour and a beeline for the main doors. He seriously needed a cigarette and L could wait a few extra minutes. Matt needed to calm down before anything else happened.

He lit up the second he was outside, in the fresh and clean smelling air, and sucked in a breath of the poison he was addicted to. He left the stick at the corner of his mouth and leaned against the railing.

It was definitely Mello he was in love with.

It couldn't be anything else, not with the reactions he'd had. Half of him was glad he'd pulled away when he had, and the other half was yelling at him for not having kissed the blonde. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed; ash flicked off the end of the cigarette and fell into the shrubs below.

Honestly, he had the feeling he'd just not wanted to admit to being in love with his friend. He smiled a little; he'd probably had quite a shock the first time around. But Matt was rather calm this time, he attributed it to the fact that he'd already _known_ he was in love with someone, just not the who.

And Mello... well it shouldn't have been a surprise. Everyone he'd talked to was under the impression that Matt either played his games or was with Mello. So Matt supposed the only logical conclusion should have been that it was Mello.

But if one considered everything else that went on around him since he'd woken up, it was understandable that he would miss something such as that. But really, Matt was just making an excuse for being dense.

The only real question was... should he do something about it?

Mello had kind of had that deer-in-headlights expression and Matt knew that wasn't exactly a great response to someone having almost kissed you, though Matt could have sworn Mello had leaned in too...

He took another large drag and sighed, the smoke trailed out through his nostrils and for moments afterwards all he could smell was the smoke.

He would leave everything as it was… for a few more days at the least.

He stubbed out what remained of the cigarette and closed the doors gently behind him. He wasn't sure if Roger still lurked somewhere around there, but he'd rather not chance it.

Matt made his way to L's room as quick as he could. Not because he felt there was anything important L had to tell him. In fact he highly doubted that. He just wanted to put as much distance between himself and Mello as he could at the moment.

He knocked once on the door in front of him and entered.

L was seated on the couch that time, rather than his chair, though he was still in his odd hunched state.

"It seems I was correct to assume you would smoke first." L pressed a lollipop to his mouth and after what seemed a moment of thought, stuck it into his mouth.

Matt had the feeling that L wouldn't care what he did so long as he held his attention, so he sat in L's normal spot and he thought that he saw amusement flicker in those owlish orbs for a second.

"First I suppose I should inform you that Mello's chocolate has come in, it's on the table over there." L pointed to a table to the right of him and Matt nearly groaned at the sight of the huge box. It was going to suck having to lug that all the way to the room.

Well, that would be his workout for the day.

"I have also called you here for another reason." L stood from his crouch and picked up the laptop that had been beside him as though it were diseased. He placed it before Matt, who looked at the detective in question.

"Can you tell me, exactly, what is wrong with this system?" L sounded curious rather than angry or annoyed, or even worried, so Matt figured it wasn't much of an actual issue.

The screen was filled with many files, some of theme with strange names such as 'Decorations' and another with 'Successors'. He clicked on a random one and watched as everything in the file was instantly corrupted and made unreadable, and after trying various normal ways of restoring the data, concluded that there was a virus implanted into the system, and told L as much.

L had probably already known that, but it had Matt curious. It all seemed.... familiar to him.

He closed his eyes and when he opened them his fingers began to fly across the keys at lightning speed and his thoughts were all on the code that scrolled just under the surface of the system.

After a few moments he knew why it seemed so familiar.

He pulled his goggles down and stared at the ever changing line of numbers and symbols. "This is mine." he told L as he looked up. L seemed didn't seem surprised.

"Do you know what system this is?" L had placed his thumb by his mouth, though he still held the lollipop in his mouth.

Did he know that system? Should he?

He took a few more minutes to look it over but nothing came to mind. It was his work, the virus, but he didn't know the system. Though he should, by all rights, know what it was as he'd obviously been into it before.

"No."

"It's Wammys main systems. I believe it was rather easy for you to hack into it despite the effort put into the firewalls."

Wammys?!

"Why would I....?" Matt started to mumble before he cut himself off, though the question still hung in the air.

"A day or so ago, there was an attempt to hack into the system. It succeeded."

Matt looked alarmed, though he didn't know if there was anything of actual value on there.

"However, a rather peculiar thing happened as I attempted to shut them out..." L trailed off and Matt felt sure it was mainly for effect, and damn L as it worked. He wanted to know-

"Every file they opened was instantaneously corrupted and rendered useless. I believe you specifically placed safeguards in the system after you hacked into it. Though the fact that is that it shouldn't have been so easy to hack into for anyone."

He had hacked into Wammys? For what? Had it been part of his job for Kira? Had he given away any vital information? Why hadn't he been told this? Unless L hadn't known about it yet....

"I am rather good with computers, however it seems I pale in comparison where you are concerned. If you would, I would like for you to redesign all the security for Wammys. You would of course be given your own laptop."

Matt was... well he was rather overwhelmed. L had just said his own skills with computers were no match for Matt's. Matt, from what he'd been told, had never wanted to be L even if he hadn't been working for Kira.

But still, to have the famed detective say that...

"Sure. I don't have any of my programs so I'm not sure how long it will take for me to recreate some of them-" Matt paused mid sentence as L held out something to him.

Matt took it form the detective and inspected it. It was a flash drive. His eyes widened. That was his!

"You had this on your person when they found you and Mello after the building collapsed. I assume that this is at least part of what you had needed." L's lips held just the tiniest amount of quirk to them, and Matt knew he was amused.

"Well damn." was all he could think to say. He hadn't thought much about hacking or doing anything of the like, as he hadn't had a computer before, but to know that his main programs had survived...

"I had Watari place the computer in a book bag to make it easier for you to bring back to your room." L moved back to his previous position on the couch and Matt assumed that was all to their little meeting.

"I have also added a few instructions, in a file, onto the flash drive as I am not certain how much you remember, or will instinctively know, about Wammys systems." Matt nodded to the detective, a huge grin stretched his lips.

It was nice that the detective trusted him enough to give him a laptop and such a task to go with it. It would also, hopefully, ease his boredom.

Matt slung the book bag over his shoulder, the weight momentarily disrupted his balance, and picked up the box of chocolate. It was heavier than it had looked....

He managed to kick the door shut on his way out and though he was sure his arms would be weak after that, he smiled. Perhaps things would get better, if this were anything to go by?

Instead of heading back to their room Matt decided to go to the library and work for a bit before he actually went to face Mello. The more time Mello had to cool off the better. Because Matt knew from the blondes expression that there would have been _something_ going on.

Matt also knew he would need to be back before dinner, so he wouldn't have too long to work at the moment. The library, as per usual, was silent and void of people when he stumbled inside.

He looked longingly at the stairs and sighed as he headed into the maze of book shelves that made up the bottom floor. He settled himself in the furthest corner away from the entrance and set the chocolates, propped up on end, against one of the shelves.

He seated himself on the floor and pulled the laptop onto his lap.

He would have preferred the second floor, but he had enough trouble with stairs on a normal basis at the moment, and having to lug that heavy ass box and the laptop not only up but down the stairs, would have been suicidal.

And he knew that if Mello ever decided to look for him, he would probably go to the second floor. Though Matt doubted he would look....

He booted up the laptop and stuck the flash drive into the USB port on the side and waited until the prompt came up before he opened the drive. He easily found the folder that L had left for him.

And while he normally would have liked to see how far he could get with his own memory, he didn't want to try and rewire the system with a migraine. That would be like a drunk person attempting to do trigonometry.

Neither would end in good results.

And L would expect his best. And Matt would give that to him.

He read over the entire file, which had helped, before he started up a few of his homemade programs for the job. It would take a few days, as he needed to make sure anyone else would have a hard time getting through the firewalls, but it wouldn't be too difficult.

He knew he had to make modifications to his own programs, as Kira would know, at least in some small way, how to get through them.

After an undetermined amount of time he glanced at the computers clock and swore. He froze the system and paused all his programs; he would be late if he didn't leave soon. Very soon.

He packed the laptop away, having it on standby, and hauled the chocolates back into his arms and staggered back out of the library. None of the children had flooded the hallways for food just yet, but Matt could hear them beginning to stir as their mutterings got louder.

He managed to get the door open, by some miracle, and winced as it flung open and smacked against the wall. Mello jumped at the sound and his eyes swiveled across Matt slowly, though his expression was somewhat unreadable.

Though Matt did catch the suspicion.

"I got chocolate for you." he told Mello quietly and dropped the box onto the blondes bed, and watched in mild amusement as the bed groaned under the weight. Really, Matt had only asked L for a box a week. Not fifteen boxes a week.

He pulled the laptop from the book bag and placed it carefully on his desk. "Who gave you that?"

"L did. Someone broke into Wammys System, and L wants me to redesign the system so it can't happen again." Matt commented slowly, though he realized he left out the part about nothing having been stolen.

"What!? Was it Kira? Did anything important-"

"Mello calm down before you hurt yourself, or me." Matt muttered the last part so softly that Mello shouldn't have been able to hear him. "Apparently before everything turned to shit I had placed safeguards on the system so that if it was ever hacked, whatever files were opened would be automatically corrupted. They can take the data, but they can't use it."

Mello looked a little surprised. "So you-"

"I don't remember doing it." Matt said with a small smile. "Oh." was Mello's only reply, and Matt didn't bother to converse with him anymore. He was lucky Mello wasn't even more distracted than he already seemed.

Mello finally seemed to notice the chocolate or perhaps, due to his reluctant motions, believed it were the same stuff Roger got him. So Matt found it rather... cute?... when Mello's eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly at the brand that stared up at him from inside the box.

"Matt did you....?" Mello trailed off though Matt knew exactly what Mello had asked.

"I only remembered the brand name, nothing else. And even that had not been a pleasant experience." Matt wasn't, obviously, about to tell him how he had gotten the memory, but from Mello's sudden glare, he hadn't needed to.

Though Matt was grateful that Mello hadn't said anything on it.

"How the hell did you get Roger to allow this?" Mello asked instead, his shoulders were slightly less tense and that in return had Matt more relaxed.

"I didn't ask Roger. I asked L." Matt smirked at Mello's raised eyebrows, but was relieved that everything, for the moment at least, was ok.

**-End **_**Almost**_**-**

**AN: **Buwhahahah! I bet you all hate me, right? Hehehe. But now you know why this chapter was called 'Almost' ^-^

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Night-Huntress019, FB Edit, Living in a fantasy, fadedlines, xzombieViolinistx, Fused-Chappy, Amaya-Ai, foreverunloved, DrunkKid-Catholics, ANON, Kara 'Nine', Salvi, Floppy-IDon'tCareWhatYouThink, Enjy, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, Rainbowjapan, ShyClown, The Sora Muffin, Zellicy, xHanako

Review???


	25. Chapter 23: Forgotten

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note

**AN: **I will tell you, I have been looking forward to writing this for some time.... some of you had some guesses on this many chapters back, but now you will get a better glimpse at it... Have I lost you yet? I hope so, I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise...... *insert evil laughter*

AND there are only **THREE MORE CHAPTERS LEFT** plus the epilogue..... So things are coming to a close soon..... buwhahaha. :)

**Suggested listening**: The Best of Me **by** The Used**;** Come Undone **by **The Used

**Chapter Twenty-Three**: _Forgotten _

Matt looked lazily across the room and waited to see if Mello would break his sudden fit of studying and glance at the clock, or just get up in order to eat breakfast. The clock steadily ticked closer and closer to the beginning of breakfast and yet Mello still sat there, nose in book.

It struck Matt as wrong, for some reason. And he felt a headache on the rise. He didn't much care, at that point, if they missed breakfast, if he got a headache. But there was just something...

_"Mello, you're smart. No, brilliant. You'd have to be to have stayed at the top for so long. You won't fall further than second. And you're already there. If the points don't show an improvement from you taking small breaks, I'll buy you a few bars of that expensive chocolate you mentioned Roger not letting you have."_

_"However, if the points do show that you have improved I'll buy you a case of that chocolate."_

The words, spat from his own mouth once, flashed through his thoughts. And he knew why Mello's studying had bothered him. "You know Mello, breakfast started five minutes ago..." Matt trailed off and he watched as Mello waved him off and never took his eyes from the pages.

"I'm fairly certain that you are currently breaking our _deal _at the moment." he made sure to emphasize 'deal' so it would more than catch Mello's interest. And it did. Mello's head snapped up and blue eyes locked onto him, a questioning look, almost as though Mello was afraid to hope he'd remembered something.

"Matt your memories...?"

"Just that one." he muttered. And despite the notion he could loose his chocolate for that, Mello grinned widely. Though he'd previously decided not to tell Mello when he remembered things, his smile had been worth it. And Matt figured, as it was about the deal, he could make an exception for that memory. Though now, more than ever, he wanted to remember everything.

"I suppose I have to stop studying...?" Mello asked, though his tone was almost hopeful, as though he believed he may be allowed to continue to study. Matt nodded his head that yes, he had to stop.

Friday or not, Mello would go to breakfast.

Mello frowned but complied, still for the most part happy, and slid off the bed. Matt already had his boots on and merely waited for Mello to get his things ready before they headed out. Breakfast was much the same as always, with Near at the table and Mello worrying over the upcoming tests.

Matt made it to the first test relatively ok, until the headache started. It was a soft, yet still noticeable, pain behind his eyes that stretched across the bridge of his nose. He finished the test, with hardly any motivation, and played with his PSP under the table and continued on like that until lunch.

Where, unluckily for him, the pain worsened, but nowhere near the level of the migraine he had before. The only plus Matt saw out of anything so far that day, was that Mello appeared far more relaxed around him despite the near kiss the previous day.

Matt wondered if it were simply just one of the things Mello had simply decided to ignore or had decided that he'd imagined.

Matt wasn't quite sure how he felt about that...

The only test Matt really even paid attention to, after lunch had ended, was the last one which was the computer/technology one. Though it was easy for him, especially with the kind of thing L had asked him to do on the side.

He had thought the day of testing had been rather boring, though considerably less boring than having to sit around the room reading and being forced to 'rest'. Matt headed outside for a smoke, after he'd seen Mello stomp from the classroom, to give Mello time to cool off from whatever had set him off that time.

It still bothered him how warm the air way, and he wondered if he would feel that way until it was winter again, or if it would gradually fade away as his mind readjusted to the lost time. He supposed that it didn't really matter, at any rate.

He watched as a few of the younger children kicked a ball around and squealed with laughter. Matt wondered if he'd ever been that happy as a child.

He stubbed the cigarette out and went inside. Each day it became easier and easier to walk, though he knew it would be a while before he could try and relearn any of the fighting skills he supposedly had.

Even if they were safe now, didn't mean they would stay safe. Kira had infiltrated Wammys once, and that meant he could potentially do it again. Matt wanted to have at least some way of protecting himself should that happen.

Mello had a chocolate bar shoved hastily into his mouth when Matt entered the room, and had been in the process of pacing the room in aggravation. Mello had paused mid-stride as Matt had walked in and made a rather amusing picture.

There was a muted 'snap' as the bar broke and clattered to the floor that made Matt snort in laughter. Mello scowled and retrieved the fallen chocolate that had only been saved from the floor by the wrapper.

Matt left the blonde to his pacing and pulled the laptop from the throws of standby and sat at the desk to continue on rebuilding the system from scratch.

He had just gotten through a semi difficult area, as he had to make it stand up to someone of his caliber hacking into it, when a bar of chocolate was thrown at him. Or at least near him, as it had landed halfway onto his hand and the keyboard.

He looked up, as he paused what he had been doing, and glanced at the time though he could have easily pulled it up on the laptop despite the numerous windows and programs open. "Dinner than?" Mello rolled his eyes to his question so Matt sighed and shoved the chair away from the desk and stood.

Mello went to snatch the chocolate bar from the desk but Matt was quicker. "I think it's mine now since you threw it at me. If I knew you would be so careless with this stuff I would have asked L only to get you one bar."

Mello frowned and narrowed his eyes and just when Matt thought the blonde would walk away Mello sprung foreword and seized the bar from his lax grip. He laughed at the serious expression on Mello's face and shook his head at the absurdity of it all.

"I only threw it at you since you always complained about the textbooks..." Matt knew not to question Mello from the tone of voice he'd adopted.

"Alright, let's just go before missing dinner is somehow my fault." Matt commented and pushed Mello from the room.

Matt seated himself at the end of the table which left Mello, who snarled at Near, to sit at his right while Near was seated to his left. Apparently it had been Near to piss Mello off earlier, and even now.

Shocker.

"Mello, while I don't particularly care if you happen to lunge across the table and strangle him, can you do it _after _I've eaten?" he commented dryly. Really, Mello was how old?

Mello crossed his arms and continued to glare at the albino, though he may as well have just huffed 'if I must!', as though restraining himself was something beneath him. Matt rolled his eyes.

He had so far never seen Mello loose it and go after Near, and he was almost curious as to what would happen should it occur, though he knew Near would probably be in a bad way after the encounter.

Matt made sure to eat slowly and only finished once he was sure Mello wouldn't cause the albino any bodily harm, as Mello _would _get in trouble for that.

Once back in their room, after dinner had ended, Matt watched Mello as he pulled out the piles of textbooks and began to scan through them to look for what he would have gotten wrong on the tests.

Apparently he'd been too wound up to do so earlier...

Matt went back to the paused programs with a sigh. Mello would give himself a heart attack long before Matt died of the cigarettes Mello was worried over. Sort of amusing in a sick way.

Matt still didn't see what was so great about all that rankings crap, even with having met L.

The laptop beeped angrily so he pushed all other thoughts away to concentrate on the task at hand, something he should have done before he had unpaused everything...

Having to create a completely new system, while difficult in a way, was made more so by the fact that he had to update and change his own designs into something that Kira wouldn't immediately recognize or have any idea how to get through.

It was a challenge and it had already taken him longer than anticipated to get to where he was, sometime around twelve. The screen, despite his goggles, had made him even more tired than usual and he had felt his eyes droop more than once in the past half an hour.

And despite wanting to make more headway he knew he had to call it a night, added to the fact that Mello had just finished his nightly routine and had slipped under the covers. He would have been told to stop sooner or later anyway, despite it being the weekend.

He left one program to finish its run, as he got ready for bed, and put the laptop onto standby after he'd paused everything again.

He didn't bother with his PSP as he doubted he'd be able to see the screen at the moment, and instead pulled his goggles free and closed his eyes. He knew Mello wasn't asleep yet despite his deceptively soft breathing, but it was enough to lull him to sleep after a while.

-

Matt woke, sometime later, sweat covered and ill feeling. His head spun and he stumbled blindly to the bathroom and in his haste didn't bother to shut the door when he turned the light on.

He splashed cold water onto his face and couldn't seem to calm his breaths. He was so damn dizzy, having to hold onto the sink for support, and he clenched his eyes tight; colors flashed across his mind, sounds, images he didn't want...

"_Mail, your eyes are so gorgeous! Just like mine. My emerald eyed angel." a woman with long auburn hair and green eyes gushed. _

_She had such a beautiful smile and her voice was soft but firm; her eyes shinned in mirth behind the glasses she wore and the wedding ring was cool against Mail's cheek where her hand rested. _

He felt bile rise up as the acids in his stomach churned unpleasantly.

"_You damn brat! Why can't you be normal? You always look at me with those damn calculating eyes of yours, what would you do if I gouged them out, huh?!" _

_Mail cowered behind the couch as a chair was flung across the room aimed at him. He whimpered in fear as his father stalked menacingly over towards him. _

_He always hit too hard...he was only nice when too drunk to remember why he hated them so much._

Oh god, why had he wanted to remember?

"_Mail, I love your eyes, I really do. They are so very expressive." he looked up at his mother, but was scared; she didn't smile at him as she said those things. She pried his tiny hands away from her skirt, her eyes sad. _

_He didn't like that look. That look spoke of guilt. That look spoke of goodbye..._

"_Oh don't worry, I'll be back, I'm just going on a little trip. I'll be back before you know it." she gave him a half smile but he could see the pain in her eyes. She was lying._

_His mother had left; left him with that man... left him after she told him his eyes were so very expressive. _

_She had left him with that monster..._

Matt couldn't hold it back anymore and vomited into the sink, stomach heaving, and tears at the corner of his eyes.

"_Your bitch of a mother took all our money and ran off." his father stated in an eerily calm manner. Mail had known that his mother wouldn't be coming back, had known it from the look in her eyes, from the worry lines on her usually flawless face._

_She had left him._

"_Now, how do you suppose I make up that money?" his father asked, voice still absolutely calm, as he circled him. Mail swallowed harshly and flinched at the deadly serious, business-like look on his father face._

He barely had enough time to breathe as another wave passed. He was only upright for a few more seconds before his legs gave out and he crumpled to the tiled floor, shaking.

He heard movement near him and didn't bother to compose himself, if he even could as Mello knelt down beside him. "Damn, Matt are you ok? You're crying..." Mello sounded shocked and Matt hadn't even noticed the tears until Mello had pointed them out.

He had wanted to remember... _that_?

"My name is Mail." he whispered. He shook harder. He knew they weren't supposed to say their real names but his weary emotions overran most rational thought. "It's Mail. I hate that name!" he sobbed.

His father had given him that name...

He stilled as Mello gently wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him close. His fists clenched and he didn't know how to stop thinking about _everything_. He couldn't get the images out of his mind.

The _smiles_.

The _fists._

_Everything_.

"Matt calm down." Mello whispered to him and pulled him closer. He could hear his own harsh breaths and felt his heart pound away in his chest so fast it hurt; like at any moment it would burst through his ribcage and onto the floor.

Mello's fingers tangled themselves in his hair and Matt closed his eyes and just let himself be held; he felt safe in those arms. He also felt drained, like he had no energy, but he didn't mind much.

He could let himself break, just for that moment, just until the memories stopped... It was alright though, just him and Mello, sitting on the bathroom floor.

-

His eyes fluttered open and he groaned at the headache that greeted him as the sun shone in his eyes. He rolled over in the bed and reached for the nightstand and once he'd grabbed hold of the goggles he tugged them over his eyes.

Some of the pain receded and he let himself relax for a few more moments, long enough for the fog of sleep to recede enough for normal thoughts.

His body felt achy and tired, as though he'd fallen asleep in the rain; his joints were stiff as he moved. He really hoped that wouldn't impact all the progress he'd made...

He heard the soft crinkling of a wrapper and peered over the top of the bunched up blanket to see Mello as he sat on his bed and calmly ate his chocolate, though there was the slight line between his eyebrows that generally indicated he was bothered by something.

Matt's eyes widened slightly as the night before flashed across his mind.

Oh god...

He shut his eyes tightly and willed himself to stay calm. He took a deep breath and pushed the memories of his past to the back of his mind. And Mello...

He'd told Mello his real name.

Mail... Mail Jeevas.

Though he hadn't said his full name at the time.

He had been so overwhelmed the night before that he hadn't thought of the consequences. Mello could easily, with L's help, find out his entire past. Seriously, how many people could have named their child _Mail_ in the past seventeen years? One that had red hair and green eyes...?

And from what he'd remembered of his past... he didn't want anyone else to know of it. Though perhaps Mello could be persuaded not to dig?

He didn't have time to lie around in bed; he needed to know just what Mello knew. He sat up with a small wince and instantly felt Mello's eyes on him. He'd certainly made a fool of himself the night before...

Though Mello had been rather nice about it..

"Matt...?" Mello asked hesitantly as Matt slid from his bed; he wobbled only slightly and stretched to ease the discomfort in his sore muscles. Now that he actually thought about it, he didn't remember ever having gotten to bed the night before... did that mean Mello had carried him?

Matt felt heat rise to his face and turned his gaze away from Mello.

"Yeah?" he finally said, as Mello had sat there and waited rather patiently for him to respond.

"What the hell was that all about last night?" Mello's voice held no malice in it, only question, and Matt smiled a bit at the last, concern.

"It was... I remembered something from before Wammys." he stated hesitantly. He chanced a glance at Mello and found that Mello was surprised, if his expression was anything to go by.

"You sounded delirious and… in pain. You kept muttering something about 'Mail'. Do you have any idea what that was about?" Mello questioned, his attention solely focused on Matt.

Matt knew he had to have had a rather deer-in-headlights look about him as Mello had looked slightly guilty for having asked.

"Just forget it, please." Matt said despondently.

"Sorry I mentioned it..." Mello trailed off. He was silent for a long time and Matt knew by the blank expression on his friends face that he felt bad.

But at least it meant Mello would back off with his questions, even if he wouldn't forget.

Matt knew he'd rather just forget about it. But he doubted he'd ever be able to get those images out of his mind again, and honestly, had no idea how he had before.

Some things were... just too...painful.

**-End **_**Forgotten**_**-**

**AN**: As for Mello not knowing Matt's name, Matt wasn't exactly speaking as clearly as he'd thought. When you're in a certain state of mind sometimes things that sound perfectly clear to you come out as nothing more than a jumble of words to others. :)

And I don't know if anyone has noticed, but Matt finally seems more like himself, in the first few chapters since he woke up, his character has been sort of awkward due to the memory loss. But as Matt gains more of his memories it seems the more like 'himself' he is... not sure if I explained that right.... sounded fine in my head... o_0;

I'll leave it to your imaginations as to the rest of what happened in Matt's past, though I am curious to hear what you inferred from what was written. :)

And..... **can I make a request.....?** I would so love for this to reach **500 reviews**, because I know none of my other fics can even hope to get this many reviews, and 500 would be like epic. I even have **fanart** made for this by the lovely **Amaya-Ai** (it's on the bottom of my profile, well the link to deviant art at any rate) so **fanart+500 reviews= epic.** Please?

**Special thanks to reviewers**: xzombieViolinistx, jhoker, SparkLust, Mezzanotte Nera, Yaoiluver190, Enjy, Fused-Chappy, Kara'Nine', fake-lis, CutmeawayMyPenMyHand, RainbowJapan, Living in a fantasy, ShyClown, Zena Silverwing, foreverunloved, Miss-Dreev, xHanako, The Sora-muffin, Daphne Raynard, Night-Huntress019, DarthxInvader, tsuki1613, Kari Twilight Mist, Zellicy and Amaya-Ai

You love me right?

**Review???**


	26. Chapter 24: Virus

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note

**AN: **Thank you so much for helping me get past 500 reviews! (I just looked an I'm on 80 peoples favorites list and 93 peoples alert list, now imagine how many reviews I could get if at least one of those lists reviewed the last three chapters? But I'm not greedy, I love my 500 :)

And I have more fanart up on my profile, this time by Lellozawa!

And I have no idea when the next chapter will be out as it's not even edited. (the only reason I was able to get so many out recently was I was done with training and had a few days off before my new schedule started)

Time to pimp one of my **new oneshot**s. It's called **Hurt Me**, and I'm not sure how many have actually read it, but its not emo or angsty despite the title. It's practically pwp. Heheh.

**Suggested listening**: Move You **by** The Urgency**;** CHILD'S PLAY **by** Gothica (kinda creepy...)

**Chapter Twenty-Four: **_Virus_

Mello had suggested that he just rest for the day, even if it meant just lying on the bed and playing on the PSP, and for once, Matt agreed. He had hardly any energy and was far too preoccupied to have paid even the smallest amount of attention on something else.

Mello had gone to look at the rankings on his own, and on his return, though he had still gone up another point, had stated that he had arranged to get some extra help from the teachers that day.

Mello had basically signed himself up for another day of classes. Wasn't that fun?

Mello had left a bar of chocolate on Matt's bed before he'd left and Matt knew that part of the reason was because the blonde had felt guilty for leaving, though the other was purely Mello being Mello.

Matt had left for the quiet of the library almost as soon as Mello had left for 'classes'. He just hadn't wanted to be cooped up in the room any longer, though he knew he would probably do nothing more than stare off into space until he could get his thoughts sorted.

He had already smoked half a pack of cigarettes…though he knew if Mello ever found that out he'd probably throw the rest of them out.

Matt kept his gaze fixed on the scenery outside the open window and watched the way the breeze made the trees sway, though rain clouds loomed off in the distance.

He sighed and rested his face against the windowsill for a moment before he stood up and walked from the window. He had more important things to do than mope around over something he couldn't change.

He may not be able to forget it, the irony of that statement alone, but that didn't mean he couldn't ignore it.

He needed to finish Wammys system and now that he had an entire day to do so, he might be able to finish it. He placed the laptop onto his knees and stretched his legs flat out in front of him; his feet barely touched the shelves across from him.

He took everything off of pause and set to work, he had already left things alone for far too long as it was.

He had already finished the outer defenses along with most of the middle, but the tricky part was having to undue the previous things he'd placed upon the system and retrieve the data that had been corrupted as well as keep that safe as he redesigned the core of the system.

Tricky, but not difficult.

He was in the process of retrieving the corrupted data, just before lunch, when something popped up in his system scan. He frowned slightly and he stopped all previous tasks and pulled up the full scan.

The problem originated in a few of the files under 'decorations'. That was where all the actual information was stored. The files flagged were '_successors', '12'_, as well as a few others. But the first two were the ones that stood out.

They were the ones whose data had been corrupted by his protection program, or virus. But that wasn't what had been picked up on the scan. No... it was something not of his own design.

But it _was_ a virus.

And according to the numbers on the countdown for it, it had just finished whatever it had been doing and was up to something else, which was what had registered on his scan.

"Fuck." his fingers flew across the keyboard as he tried to figure out just what exactly it had done. The probability that it was from Kira was high, as he would have known how to have the virus run silent and undetectable until it was too late to do anything about it; he would have known how to use Matt's own programs against him.

However, computers were Matt's domain.

His frown deepened as he looked over the virus. It had collected data from certain files, which were the ones that had ended up corrupted, and was in the process of sending the data back to its sender.

Matt swore again.

Had he only caught the damn thing sooner it wouldn't have had a chance to get that far. He violently shoved those thoughts away and concentrated on disconnecting the internet line the virus had been using.

The second he did that the virus began to pick away at his newly created firewalls, and had they still been the old design they would have fallen away. He isolated the virus in a junk folder and contained it.

It would hold for some time, but he didn't want to completely get rid of it until L saw it. L would probably know what was in those files and know if they were in trouble again.

Matt sighed and stuck a cigarette in his mouth, though he knew better than to light it if he were going to just walk through the halls again. He closed the laptops lid and stood up and headed for the kitchens.

L would either be just about there for his cake run, or Matt would have to go to the detective's room. But the kitchens were the closest thing and he didn't want to have to wait around his room if he wasn't in there.

The day was shaping up to be just wonderful, Matt thought sarcastically.

As it happened he nearly collided with L as he half jogged out of the library. "Just who I needed to see." Matt muttered. L jerked his head in the direction of the kitchens and Matt followed him inside just as the halls began to fill with children.

"So what did you need me for?" L asked as he stuck his head into the refrigerator and dug around for his cake.

"Well, we may have a slight problem." though Matt wasn't sure if he was understating the issue at the moment or not...

He explained the entire situation to L, and pulled up the list of folders the virus had swallowed. L had made a noise of discontent and placed his thumb to his lips. "Security will have to be doubled again. I will alert Watari of the issue when I get back to my room."

Matt looked at L in question.

"There is no way to know what information has been sent without possibly creating more problems, correct?"

Matt nodded unhappily. There wouldn't have been a problem in the first place if he hadn't been so stupid...

"Then there is no reason to uproot the children just yet. Add that to the fact that Kira likely doesn't know where we are just yet, it would draw too much attention to us if we packed up and moved everyone at the moment." L finished and took in a mouthful of cake.

Matt's shoulders slumped. He couldn't disagree with L, as the detective was correct. "Yeah, makes sense." he muttered rather reluctantly.

"I'll delete the virus and finish Wammys security. I should be done by tomorrow." he turned away from L, feeling wholly disappointed with himself.

"Matt."

He stopped in the doorway and looked back at L, who had called him. "Don't forget to eat." L told him tonelessly, though Matt knew it was more of an order than a friendly reminder. He merely nodded.

Mello wouldn't let him skip dinner anyway. But neither of them could do anything about lunch, and Matt just wasn't hungry at the moment...

He moved back to his and Mello's room, rather than the library, as he could smoke in it. As long as he was by the window, which thanks to the spring weather could be open. He was aggravated, but he didn't want to have to work outside, where the sun would hurt his eyes after a while, just so he could smoke.

Mello wasn't in the room, though Matt didn't know why he had expected him to be as Mello should have been at lunch by then. Where he should have been as well. Mello was not going to be happy... well he wouldn't be happy about Matt not having rested either...

He deleted the virus the moment the laptop's lid was up. Such a small thing had caused so many problems...

He checked the rest of the system, as well as his own laptop just in case, to make sure there was nothing else that lurked. After he finished that he continued on to the rest of the system. Provided he didn't have too many distractions he would have it completed before bed that night.

Matt flinched slightly as the door banged open and struck the wall with a harsh _crack_. He didn't need to turn to see that Mello was rather displeased, and probably all of it directed towards Matt himself.

"Matt- why the hell does it smell like smoke in here?" Mello hissed the last part and it was obvious that it had not been his original question. Or rather demand, as it were.

"It only smells a little. And it's because I lit the first one with the window shut." Matt wondered if Mello would hear him out or just begin to yell...

"And why did you feel the need to smoke in here?" Mello asked testily, though the fact that he hadn't immediately began to berate Matt showed a considerable amount of restraint on the blonde's part.

"Well, earlier I found a virus in Wammys system that may or may not have sent a bunch of stuff to Kira, and I didn't really feel like going outside to finish fixing the system afterwards." Matt decided to just tell Mello the real reason rather than come up with something else that wouldn't worry him. He would have had to eventually tell Mello anyway, and there was no reason to lie.

Though Matt would have preferred that it wasn't his fault...

Matt turned around, finally, as Mello had stayed silent. Mello looked worried as well as contemplative.

"We won't have to leave here if that's what you're thinking." Matt commented and Mello's eyes flickered to him.

"But if something like last time happens-"

"L has doubled the security. It's also doubtful that Kira has gotten our new location." Matt said as he exhaled smoke through his nostrils, though he knew that neither of them really believed the last part.

If Kira knew where they were, it wouldn't matter how much security L had placed, because Kira would get in. Matt just hoped that L wasn't underestimating Kira. Matt may not have been able to remember hardly anything about Kira, but there was an almost sick feeling in his gut every time he thought about him.

That had to count for something, didn't it?

Matt watched as Mello turned his attention to a small packet he'd been holding and sat down on his bed. Matt's attention went back to the computer, where he had paused everything the second Mello had entered the room, and continued on.

All things considered, Matt had been lucky. They hadn't even gotten into a fight. Mello must have been willing to go easy on him in the first place, probably because of the night before, or he wouldn't have listened to Matt at all.

He heard the rustling of papers and a sigh before the stack was unceremoniously tossed onto Mello's desk and Matt could almost see the frown that Mello wore.

"Do you think I'll ever reach number one?" Mello asked suddenly, he sounded so unhappy and disappointed with himself. It was something Matt had felt with his own performance for the day.

Instead of telling Mello yes, as Matt was not a psychic and didn't honestly _know_, he went with his version of it.

"Maybe." his fingers slowed on the keys and he smiled slightly, merely a small twitch of his lips, as he heard Mello hiss back 'Maybe?!'

"Your score keeps climbing, but there is no guarantee in anything. Just keep going as you have been and don't stress yourself out too much. And maybe..." he shrugged a shoulder and only kept half his focus on Wammys.

He heard foil crinkle and the tell tail snap of chocolate. "Maybe, huh?" Mello's voice sounded lighter then it had before and he let out a small huff of a laugh.

"Thanks Matt."

That time Matt did smile and the room faded out of focus as his attention finally went completely back to his task.

He decided that the last thing to be done would be to fix the corrupted files. It was much more pressing to have the core of the security up and running first, or it would be pointless to fix the data just so it could be stolen and in perfect working order for whoever nabbed it.

He had already passed the most difficult stages so now the rest was mostly time consuming things, but he would not rush it. He would not allow himself any more screw ups on that.

The next time he looked up from the laptop was at the smell of food, and after a quick glance at the clock he noticed it was well into dinner. Mello looked at him with a smirk as he set down a plate next to the laptop.

"I knew you'd forget, but I figured it would be easier to get something into you if I just brought it back to the room."

"Thanks." he grinned at the blonde and turned away from the laptop, plate balanced on his knees, and started on the food. Matt had completely forgotten about food, and probably would not have eaten had Mello not done that.

But at least he had been able to comply with L's demand... in a way.

He had just finished when Mello snatched the plate from him before he could stand. "This is the only time I will do this, as I know you need to get that finished." Mello told him, though he had a feeling that if he were to get sick Mello probably wouldn't mind doing much of the same for him.

Mello was out the door and down the hall before Matt could even reply, though he supposed it didn't matter, Mello knew he was grateful.

It was almost nine o'clock but Matt felt he would still finish on time or at least on time by his self imposed deadline.

By ten thirty his fingers were stiff and ached, having not been used to long hours of typing after months of nothing but idleness, though he was in the middle of the second corrupted file. He held back a small yawn, though he was far from being too tired to continue.

Only a few more files and then he would be done. At least that was what he told himself.

Matt knew that his programs and viruses could do a lot of damage, but he had never had to clean up the mess afterwards until those files. He should probably just create a program that would work with all his other stuff so if that ever happened again he would have to pick everything apart by hand and piece it back together.

He whistled lowly as he finished and closed out the program, though it would easily come back up to show Wammys new system once he brought it to L.

Matt stood up and stretched. He sighed heavily as his back popped a few times and slumped into a slouched stand. It was only eleven-thirty and he doubted L would have gone to sleep at that time...

He reached for the laptop but paused as he felt Mello's eyes on him. There was no way Mello would let him leave that late... and perhaps it was just best to leave things for the morning. And that way he would have a small amount of time to check over the system and make sure everything was in working order before he presented it.

Not that he doubted himself...

He shut the laptop off and watched in amusement as Mello rolled over, the lights on his side of the room off, to sleep the second it appeared Matt would sleep instead of go to find L.

Matt shook his head and changed there, as Mello's head was halfway under the covers and turned away from him, and was practically asleep before he even got into bed.

He had underestimated how much the last few days had drained him...

-

The sunlight in his eyes woke him, as did the soft taps of a laptops keys. He squinted in the soft morning light but the glare made him unable to read the clocks time. He sighed and sat up, and noticed that Mello was at his desk rather than his own.

"Matt.. this is... amazing." Mello mumbled quietly. Matt blinked a few times, yawned, and got up to see just what the hell Mello was so interested in. He shivered slightly as his body cooled from the overly warm temperature it had been under the blankets.

Matt was surprised to see his system displayed on the small screen and watched as Mello's eyes greedily took in every detail. "I don't even understand half of it. Why the hell are you third? You could have easily made it another spot..." Mello sounded confused but not angry.

"To my knowledge I didn't, and still don't, want to be L. And in case you haven't noticed, my only motivation comes in concern of technology." he told Mello around another yawn. He wasn't tired, just not...awake.

"But Matt-"

"I thought you wanted to be first, so why are you complaining?" Matt watched in amusement as Mello opened his mouth to say something only to close it with a frown. "My only real smarts are computers. Stop worrying so much."

He backed away from the blonde and gathered spare clothing and headed for the bathroom. He actually had time to take a long shower instead of those crappy five minute ones..

"I'm not worrying.. just confused." Mello sighed heavily. Matt looked back and saw Mello halfway reclined in the wooden chair, head tilted back and an unreadable expression on his face. For Mello to openly admit he was confused by something...

"Mello you're my friend, and that's more than enough of a reason not to try any harder than I am. I don't want to be L, because you do. Get it yet?" he watched as Mello flinched at the word 'friend' and his heart fluttered.

"Just go take your shower." Mello waved him off, though Matt caught the smile that tugged at his lips. Maybe he should have just told that to Mello from the beginning, though he couldn't remember ever having a conversation like that before with Mello...

He closed the bathroom door with a shake of his head. It was better not to think on it, he would rather avoid a migraine if he could.

He let himself relax under the hot water and stood still as the water slid down his body. He breathed in deeply and allowed himself the pleasure of simply standing there for a while longer.

"Matt if you manage to use all the hot water I will kill you." Mello yelled from the other side and Matt had to smile. It was impossible to use all the hot water but Matt would go with it. He was awake enough already so he didn't mind having to slightly rush the rest of the way.

A wave of steam rushed out into the room with him as he exited the bathroom, halfway still in the process of pulling his shirt down. "Happy now?" he called to Mello and looked up.

"Very." Mello turned his head away with what looked suspiciously like a blush staining his cheeks. Well that was odd...

Matt decided any further thoughts on that could wait as he needed to let L know he was finished. Mello was still seated at his desk with the system pulled up. "I'd ask if you noticed any issues but you already admitted to not being able to understand half of it." he said as he leaned over the blonde's shoulder.

"Thanks." Mello stated sarcastically. Matt shrugged and his eyes scrolled across the innards of the system and he made calculations in his head, checking and double checking his work. He couldn't find anything wrong with it, though it was only at a quick glance.

But he couldn't stand there all day and check everything over, he _knew_ the new system was fine, he just seemed to have picked up Mello's nasty habit of worrying too much.

He brushed aside Mello's hands and picked the laptop up. "You're taking it to L now?" Mello asked as he looked up at him. Matt nodded and shut the laptops lid before he slipped it into the book bag.

He could have carried it normally, but he was too lazy to at the moment. "I doubt I'll be there too long, I'm sure you can find something to entertain yourself with for the time being." Matt laughed as Mello stuck his tongue out at him and closed his eyes as he reclined in the wooden chair.

Matt shook his head as he left the room. The hallways were a jumble of motion as children ran back and forth or passed from room to room or just loitered around with their heads in the clouds.

Matt supposed that they had all but forgotten the accident, and the fact that they were in a different orphanage than they had been in months ago. He doubted that any of them had really had anything more than a scare concerning the fire, as he hadn't heard of any other injuries other than Mello's and his own.

They were lucky, even if they didn't know it.

The sounds faded away the closer he got towards L's room. Matt thought he rather preferred the quiet, despite how utterly lonely it made the place seem.

The door was shut, though Matt had to wonder if it was ever left open, so he knocked twice and waited. L wasn't necessarily expecting him at the moment so it would be rather rude to just barge in.

A few seconds later the door opened and Watari stood there, small smile on his wrinkled face.

Matt could just see passed the older man and could see, as well as hear, that L was in the middle of some sort of meeting with someone over his computer. "He's going to be a while, right?" Matt asked quietly. Watari nodded so he pulled the laptop from the book bag and held it out to the older man.

"Just have him open the internet, as I have it linked to Wammys for the moment. I'll shut it off once L approves everything." Matt told Watari in the same soft voice and once the older man nodded Matt took his leave.

It had certainly taken far less time than he'd thought, but he hadn't expected L to be doing something as he hadn't been all those other times. Sometimes, Matt supposed, it was just easy to forget that L was... _L_.

Matt soon said goodbye to the quiet and was tossed back into the busy main hallways of Wammys. Two boys ran passed him and he could have sworn he heard one of them swear, though they were pretty young.

Maybe they had hung around Mello? Matt laughed at the thought.

As he reached the small hallway section that lead to their room he spotted Mello, who stood there, chocolate bar in hand, waiting for him. He raised an eyebrow at the blonde who shrugged.

"I figured that you would want to smoke before breakfast starts in a few, and now that you're done with your project, there is _no way_ I'm allowing you to smoke in the room anymore."

Mello pushed himself away from the wall and Matt smirked. Oh well, he hadn't expected the blonde to let him continue anyway. Mello pushed him slightly as he walked passed and Matt punched him back, lightly, in the arm.

Mello laughed, and raced ahead and out the front door and into the warm air. Matt laughed, though he made no move to run after him, instead he kept to his normal stride. Mello was certainly in a good mood that day.

Mello stood on the steps, impatient as he waited for him.

There was a strong breeze that day and Mello frowned as his hair was whipped in all different directions but he didn't bother to try and keep it in place. Matt didn't like the outdoors too much, but with the prospect of a shady tree to sit under, he didn't mind too much.

If only things could stay that way for a while longer, Matt thought, he could be happy.

**-End **_**Virus**_**-**

**AN:** Hehehe. Not quite a cliffy, but I'm sure you all caught the ominous line at the end. Hehehe.

Can you feel the change in tone with the fic? So things have started to pick up.... though I think everyone should take a nice long look at the summary. Yup. (My beta was laughing, as she finally got it...)

And if the genre's end up being wrong, blame my beta as she said they were fine as they were...

**Special thanks to reviewers (really WOW!)**: xzombieViolinistx, jhoker, Devils Red Rose, Kara 'Nine', Night-Huntress019, Amaya-Ai, daniclone, Fused-Chappy, Nemo, Lellozawa, ANON, RainbowJapan, Zena Silverwing, sugarsuicide, Living in a fantasy, DrunkKid-Catholics, tsuki1613, Floppy-IDon'tCareWhatYouThink., Misha2011, ShinyObsessed, closerdistance, Yaoiluver190, InnerShadow, SparkLust, In Like A Lion, roystealer, xHanako, Salvi, Daphne Raynard, LittleMissAnthrope, IndifferenceToSociety, ShyClown, The Sora-muffin, Mezzonotte Nera, Zellicy (If I missed anyone i'm sorry but there were so many of you :)

**Review**???


	27. Chapter 25: Firefly

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note

**AN: **Well I have to say, most of this chapter wasn't planned. Lol. It was originally supposed to skip ahead to Thursday and have things happen that day, but Mello and Matt had other ideas for me. So you got a longer chapter. Yay?

*yawn* I'm tired but I told _**Pyroluminescence **_ I might update….. so you can all thank them. :)

**What would everyone** who has read my fic **The Letter **say to an equally small **sequel? **(I was asked to write more but I like The Letter as is, so if anything it would be a sequel)

**Suggested listening**: Leave it All Behind **by** September**;** Two is Better than One **by** Boys Like Girls _(great for the outside scene... that's all I'll say)_

**Chapter Twenty-Five: **_Firefly _

The next two days had passed peacefully, well as peaceful as life around Mello could. Meaning that it had been filled with chocolate, the horrid outdoors, boring classes, awkward meal times, and Mello being _Mello._ Matt supposed he wouldn't have changed anything really.

But by the time Wednesday morning had rolled around, he was bored again. Though that was nothing new really. But it just felt odd with nothing of importance going on. He hadn't even seen L since that glimpse on Sunday, despite him and Mello having decided to eat their lunch in the kitchen the day before. Matt had to wonder if L had even gotten the change to look at the system yet, or if he was still involved in whatever he'd been doing that day.

But Matt guessed it didn't really matter when L got to it. The system was secure, as Matt had, with Mello watching over his shoulder, attempted to hack into the new and improved Wammys. And Matt had only gotten passed the first security line before he'd been shut out, and that was with the knowledge of how his system worked.

Mello had a good laugh out of his failure until Matt had made him try; he hadn't even lasted thirty seconds. It had led to an awkwardly silent moment, and Matt having to stifle his laughter at the aghast look on Mello's face.

Mello hadn't been pleased, to say the least, and had insisted that Matt had an unfair advantage with having created the system. Seven failed attempts later and Mello grudgingly conceded to the fact that he just wasn't nearly as good with computers.

Mello had been fine after he ate two bars of chocolate...

That had been the day before, though Matt caught Mello glare at his laptop as he shut the lid, Matt having played an online RPG on it, as L had _his_.

"All set now?" Matt asked the blonde. Mello looked up from where he was crouched beside his chocolate stash, and after he grabbed another bar, he nodded. Matt shook his head in amusement. That was a total of eight bars so far.

Three of them eaten, and the rest hidden _somewhere_ on Mello. Damned if Matt could figure out where. He wouldn't have minded the search though... And by the time they actually got to class, there was one less bar. Matt really wondered how Mello didn't have serious health problems with all the chocolate he ate.

Then again... the same could be said with how much he smoked.

As soon as class started Matt settled back into his routine of only half listening as he played the PSP underneath the desk. He had wanted something more to do with his time, and he supposed it was better than just sitting around.

He did have slightly more distractions to ease his boredom. Though he _was_ still bored. He knew it was probably worse because he didn't have any large project to fall back onto, or worry over.

He smirked. As though his missing memory wasn't enough to get worked up over..

Other than that though, things had eased off. He didn't have to worry about getting frustrated with needing help every five seconds, as his legs seemed to have gotten used to all the walking he did.

Which really was surprising as it seemed like all he did was laze around and play games or smoke.

Well that and he'd recently, as in only a day ago, started attempting push ups before breakfast. He found it rather pitiful just how weak his arms were, but knew it couldn't be helped at the moment.

Mello had periodically watched him as he'd gotten ready for classes, carelessly pointing out when he messed up and generally being a nuisance. But Matt couldn't be bothered to be angry with Mello.

It was nice, all the time he was able to spend with the blonde. He knew no one else ever got to see half of what Mello showed him, and he doubted Mello would ever let anyone else either, besides maybe L.

"Matt, can you answer the question on the board?" the teacher snapped, clearly not amused with his inattention. Matt was suddenly reminded of something similar from his first week at Wammys, and rambled off some number halfheartedly.

He ignored whatever comments the teacher had made to him, and rubbed absently at the bridge of his nose; he felt Mello's gaze on him. He'd probably gotten the answer wrong than, which would have caught Mello's attention immediately.

He would probably have to answer to Mello later on, but figured the blonde wouldn't be angry with him for not having paid attention.

He blinked a few times and sighed lightly as the pain subsided. He always wondered why it was painful to remember things sometimes, and not others, but the doctor hadn't really tried to explain it.

And Matt wasn't bothered enough to look it up, it wasn't as if knowing the problem would have made it go away at any rate. He couldn't stop the pain from coming, though he had learned not to force a memory if he could help it...

The classes changed twice more before lunch came. Though Matt found he really wasn't interested in food right then, but knew that Mello would force him anyway.

"So what was that about in class? You get another headache?" Mello questioned him as they sat down, and Matt knew Near was interested in their conversation by the way his head unconsciously tilted foreword ever so slightly.

"I don't suppose you would remember a similar situation between me and that teacher in the first week, would you?" Matt almost laughed at the confused expression on Mello's face.

"No...why?"

Matt just _looked _at him.

"Oh." Mello exclaimed as it dawned on him. "I don't suppose you remembered much else, huh?" Mello asked with a weak smile.

Matt shook his head. Despite certain aspects of his past that he would have rather not known about again, he really did want to remember. Or at least remember his time from Wammys, as that was what pertained to Mello.

He knew it hurt the blonde to not be remembered, or at least not completely, as Matt had remembered some things about him, and he just hoped that he wouldn't have to wait too much longer. He did seem to remember a lot more things as the days went on; nothing of any real value in his opinion, but at least it was something.

"Perhaps Matt should place himself in situations where a memory would likely to be triggered."

Matt looked up at Near, who had spoken, and then over to Mello who had narrowed his eyes. He sighed and picked at his food. Would it be considered horrible if he allowed them to get into a fight, simply because he didn't want to deal with it?

Probably.

"Mello." Matt tried to get his attention but Mello had already started in on Near. Matt spooned up a piece of discarded fruit, pineapple was _evil_, and flung it at Mello. Mello's entire body flinched as he stared wide eyed, mouth open in shock, at Matt.

Matt couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips. "What the _hell_, Matt?!" the fact that Mello hadn't retaliated spoke volumes of Mello's shock.

"Can't we enjoy one meal without you practically leaping across the table to kill Near? Seriously, just ignore him if he pisses you off so much." Mello continued to gape at him, and Matt wondered if he should attempt to toss fruit into his mouth.

But decided it wasn't worth the injury he would surely receive should he try. Though it would have been hilarious, if Mello's reaction to being _hit _with the fruit was any indication.

Mello huffed, glared at Near, crossed his arms, and looked away. All in less than five seconds. That had to be some sort of record.

Matt popped a grape into his mouth and juice filled his mouth as he crushed it between his teeth. Crisis averted?

Or postponed?

The amusement, well what Matt took as amusement, in Near's eyes said postponement. Though if Near started it next time... it might be fun to see Mello lunge at him.

Near's idea had its merits though. Assuming he didn't have to be shot in the head again and crushed under a fire torn building again... other than that... he supposed it would be up to his doctor if what Near had suggested should be tried.

For all Matt knew it could make things worse. Wouldn't that be _fun_?

Lunch ended without any serious incidents, though Mello had turned his glare on him for a while which had only amused him as Mello had only been sulking.

The first few afternoon classes had passed with relative ease, as Matt had paid more attention to the PSP than the classes. But as the computer/technology class rolled around Matt was more than ready to have the day end.

He actually wanted to finish that mystery book he'd started. And never finished...

"Damn it!" Mello swore from across the room and Matt noticed the teacher flinch. That happened to be Mello's worst class as it dealt mainly with the intricate workings of all things electronic.

And Mello plus technology didn't mix. Mainly because when Mello was involved with technology, it broke.

Matt had finished his work within the first ten minutes of class, computers were his specialty after all, so he unseated himself and walked calmly over to Mello and the blonde glanced up as he leaned over him. "Need help?" he asked. The entire room seemed to hold it's breath as everyone watched and waited for the inevitable backlash of such a question.

"Yes!" Mello snarled and gestured angrily at the screen where a red box had popped up telling him that he had failed, _again_. The class had been learning how to hack certain sites for the passed while, though Matt had hardly needed any help, and Mello absolutely sucked at it.

Which was why Matt knew that if L ever chose Mello to be his sole heir, Mello would probably drag him along because of his knowledge with computers. Not that he minded in the slightest.

"I'll help, but you start off." though he doubted Mello would have had it any other way. Just because he had allowed him to help didn't mean he wanted Matt to do everything for him. He waited until Mello almost made a fatal mistake before he softly explained what should be done.

Mello did as was told and grinned as he was kept from being detected. That continued on for the rest of the class, as Mello tended to make rather simple mistakes, but Matt was confident that Mello had learned at least a little bit.

Hands on training was the best way to work, in Matt's opinion.

"Thanks Matt." he heard Mello mumble quietly as they were told to gather their things as class had ended. He smirked at the shocked faces of those who had incidentally overheard Mello.

"You do realize-" Mello began as they exited the class "-that you are now expected to help me in that class. I don't know why I didn't just ask you before. I have a computer genius living with me and I could have beaten Near in that class ages ago!"

Matt rolled his eyes as Mello jabbered on even as they entered their room. Honestly, he doubted Mello would have accepted his help much earlier. And doubted even less that Mello would have ever asked.

But he didn't say anything. It was good to see Mello so lively, and not have it being negative or twinged with unhappiness.

"Mello!" he whined. The blonde stopped mid-word and blinked at him. "Go study while you are in such a good mood. I want to finish the book I started a few days ago." he almost expected Mello to be put off at the blatant dismissal, but Mello merely grinned and shrugged to him as he collected his books.

"Who am I to argue with that suggestion." Mello commented as he flipped open a textbook. Matt rolled his eyes and searched through his dresser until he found the large book and flopped onto his bed with it.

He'd only had a little under half of it left to read and finished it quickly. Matt looked up and noticed that Mello's attention was on something outside rather than on his books, though he didn't say anything about it, as Mello could use a few moments to space out.

Though Matt couldn't figure out what had caught the blonde's attention, as it was dark outside the window and made things hard to see. He decided that perhaps Mello was merely lost in though and had unintentionally locked his gaze with the window.

Matt supposed that it really didn't matter much.

He sat in silence, as he watched Mello and his entranced expression for a while longer before it became apparent dinner would soon be under way; if the noise from outside was any indication.

Matt hadn't even had to say anything, for as soon as the voices had reached Mello's ears he had looked away from the window and stretched. "Guess we should go." Mello mumbled with a yawn. Matt shrugged but slid from the bed as soon as Mello opened the door.

"Eat quick, we're going somewhere after dinner." Mello said to him as he gathered items onto his own plate. They were going somewhere?

Just what did Mello have planned...?

He ate slowly, as he mulled over the possibilities.

"Matt, are you purposely trying to be a pain in the ass? You'll like it, now hurry up so we have time." Mello hissed at him, though it had been loud enough to catch Near's attention. The albino's dark eyes had widened a small fraction, though Matt had to wonder why.

He didn't allow himself any time to think on it as Mello had glared at him until he'd eaten a fair amount of his food. "Finally!" Matt didn't even have time to put his fork down as he was dragged from his seat and out of the cafeteria.

He didn't have any idea where Mello would want to take him, so it was with a small amount of confusion as he let the blonde lead him outside and into the night; though the blondes grip on his arm didn't lessen until they were in the middle of the field and by the large tree in the back.

Matt was momentarily startled by the almost greenish colored blob that appeared before his goggles, which in turn made Mello laugh. "It's a firefly; don't tell me that you're scared of them?"

Had Mello brought him out there to watch the fireflies? He would have been able to see them from the window...

"No, I've just never seen one before outside of a movie." he pulled down his goggles so that they rested around his neck. Just that once, it would be OK to leave them off.

"Never?" Mello asked him, as the blonde stared intently at his face. Matt shook his head. "It's the perfect weather for them..." Mello trailed off and Matt had to grin.

"They _are _interesting." Matt told him as he caught a pair in his hands and brought it closer to get a better look. Really, who would have thought bugs that glowed would be kind of cool?

Something warm was suddenly pressed against his side and he glance over at Mello who had taken to leaning against him to get a better view of the fireflies in his hand. Though Matt didn't mind.

After a few more moments he opened his hands completely and watched as the fireflies took back off into the air. It seemed to cause a ripple effect as a mass of glowing orbs suddenly filled the night air.

Mello had backed away and his eyes were transfixed on the sight around them, a huge smile on his face.

Matt decided he rather liked fireflies. He loved the way they flew passed Mello and their light illuminated his face; he hadn't seen such a simple expression of joy like that from Mello in a while, if at all, since he'd woken up.

Mello had his arm outstretched and Matt watched in amusement as the fireflies seemed to use it as a landing strip.

Matt wanted nothing more, at that moment, than to pull the blonde into his arms and kiss him senseless; but knew he wouldn't, not yet. Perhaps not for a small while longer... not until Kira was out of the picture.

Maybe he would be the one to bring Mello to the fireflies next time... maybe...

But until then, he was content to watch Mello and the fireflies.

"Hey Mello?" he called softly.

"Yeah?" Mello had only briefly glanced at him, attention still mainly on the floating blobs.

"Thanks." Matt smiled. He doubted he would have ever noticed the fireflies otherwise. He was usually concentrated on his smoking and nothing else and generally stayed on the steps by the door rather than going off by the tree like they were.

"Sure. We should probably go though; we do have class in the morning." Mello said reluctantly. Yes, Matt thought, he would definitely have to bring them out there again, even if it didn't end in a confession.

Mello lightly shook his arm and the fireflies took off.

They were both silent on the way back, though it was a comfortable silence. "Matt." Mello called to him softly. He turned and stilled as Mello's hands grabbed at his goggles and pulled them up to cover his eyes.

"You forgot." the blonde said simply before he headed inside. Matt's heart hammered frantically inside of his chest, eager to feel the brush of leather against his cheek again, but he shook it off.

It was definitely not the time for those thoughts.

It was later than he'd thought, as he glanced at the clock; they had spent some time out there. But not an insane amount. Matt found that his gaze drifted to their window, and the glowing orbs that he could only faintly see in the darkness.

From Mello's smug look he had noticed his action. But at least Mello knew he had enjoyed their time out there.

Matt changed into his night clothes as Mello went into the bathroom, and shut his light off the moment he was in bed. Though he had pulled the PSP out and started up his game. There might have been class the next day, but he was far from tired.

And it seemed that neither was Mello, as even after the blonde had turned his own light off, he could see his eyes as they gazed out into the night.

It really had been a good night.

-

It was the next morning just after breakfast, as they readied themselves for classes, that Roger knocked on their door.

"Matt, L has requested to see you. You will be excused from your classes for today." Roger had told him with a frown. Really that man needed to get over himself...

"Alright, thanks for telling me." Matt mumbled, though he really just wanted the man to leave. Roger, thankfully, seemed to want to get as far away from him as possible, and left after that. You out yourself as a spy once, and no one trusts you again. Geeze...

"Matt, I'm coming with you."

Matt looked over at Mello with slight surprise.

"Well, you _will _be helping me study later since I'm missing classes." Mello stated, and his tone left no room for argument. Matt knew that Mello really wanted to see L, as he hadn't in a while. So he merely nodded. He didn't mind too much. At least not at the moment. He would probably regret it later when he had to study...

"Lead the way." Mello told him, though Mello had to have known the way.

Matt shrugged and flung his book bag down and the two of them took off for L's room. "I wonder what he wants you for; do you think it's about the system?" Mello asked.

Matt had wondered that as well. Though now that he'd had the time to personally test his work, he knew there were no flaws in it, so it was possible he just wanted to go over it with Matt there, though there was no guarantee that it was about the system at all.

"Who knows." Matt finally settled on, which left Mello to glare at him. "Though perhaps we can get him to give us more of those chocolate filled cinnamon candies. I actually kind of liked them." he said.

Mello nodded in agreement as they rounded the last corner and began to walk down the final hallway. Matt could already see the detective's door.

They both stopped, stunned, as someone was kicked out of the room and crashed against the wall with a groan. The figure quickly stood, brandishing a knife, and skidded backwards in their direction.

The man was dressed in all black and seemed rather familiar...

L walked calmly out of his room, though it was easy to tell he was on guard. "L, what's going on?!" Mello shouted, his fists clenched as though he wanted to join in. Though Matt knew it was more likely due to the fact that it was L in possible danger.

The man looked backwards for a second at Mello's voice and L used the chance to attack. One of L's feet connected with the man's chest which sent him flying backwards. He used the motion to grab a hold of Mello's arm to pull him close to keep his balance and pressed the knife to the blonde's neck in such a way that would spell instant death should the knife slip.

Matt's breath caught in his throat and he froze, surprised. His eyes went wide behind his goggles and Matt vaguely heard shouts that faded into the background as the dark haired man looked at him with a small, composed, smirk.

His eyes were so familiar...

There was something missing from his appearance... glasses?

Mikami..

Oh god.

He barely heard the threat tossed at L as the detective moved closer only to freeze at the winded assassins words. Matt watched in a semi-daze as Mikami dragged a frightened, but angry, Mello out of the hallway to disappear.

Everything swam and Matt swayed on his feet. Names and faces flew across his mind and he had to shut his eyes. He was breathing heavily as he backed up to the wall behind him where he slid down.

He ignored the worried voice that called out to him, and clenched his fingers. He couldn't focus and felt so damn sick as he teetered in place, shaking.

Something clicked in his mind and he opened his eyes. Watari was crouched in front of him with a worried expression. Matt attempted to say something only to slump foreword, eyes rolling into the back of his head.

**-End _Firefly_- **

**AN:** Yes, I did just end it there. Buwhahaha! Sooooo next chapter is going to be the last before the epilogue. W00t. I start my work week tonight at 11pm (which is why I have been updating like crazy on my off days) so I have no idea when it will be out.... aren't I lovely?

So what did everyone think? I had such fun writing this chapter, and I _**adore**_ the firefly scene, and honestly have no idea where it came from. :)

**I so wish **I could draw the scene with the fireflies. I have Photoshop but I suck at using it (never mind that it would require me to actually draw it......) Maybe I'll try it.... eventually.

**Special thanks to reviewers**: sugarsuicide, fake-lis, Pyroluminescence, Fused-Chappy, Kara 'Nine', foreverunloved, Kyler Conroy, RainbowJapan, Living in a fantasy, Night-Huntress019, Daphne Raynard, Yaoiluver190. Salvi, SparkLust, ShyClown, xHanako, ANON, tsuki1613, The Sora-muffin, In Like A Lion, lovelyblackheart

**Review???**


	28. Chapter 26: Memories

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note

**AN: **When I started this, I honestly NEVER saw this fic becoming so long, it overshot anything I had planned by about 15 chapters. That much. But I've honestly enjoyed writing this so much, and I hope I will see you in my new fic which will come out soon, I'll give the summary and stuff at the end of the epilogue.

**Suggested listening**: -A Dying Star **by** In This Moment _(lovely song, fits the chapter)_

-Fireflies (light messengers) **by** Saosin (_I LOVE this song, though it holds a rather sad feel to me. It's long though, nearly 9 minutes. But I find it fits parts of this chapter well if you listen to it)_

-Someday **by **Rob Thomas _(last 600 words written to it, kind of ironic)_

**Chapter Twenty-Six: **_Memories_

Everything was blurred as he opened his eyes and he was forced to turn his head and blink a few times, away from the bright lights, before he even attempted to sit up.

He had a splitting headache, borderline migraine he'd say, and groaned as he rolled into a seated position; though he hunched over as the nausea took hold. He bit his lip and tried to remember how he'd gotten like that.

His eyes widened. Mikami!

"Fuck." he swore at the realization that Kira would now have Mello as a bargaining chip to use against L.

"I believe that is a correct summarization of our current situation." Matt whipped his head to the side at L's voice, but immediately regretted it as his stomach lurched and he puked over the side of the bed.

He managed to only do that once, lips parted with saliva and grime, despite the way his stomach continued to clench and unclench painfully.

"What the hell happened... why did I...before?" he let the question hang in he air as he took in deep breaths as L called for the doctor, and someone to clean up the mess.

"Sensory overload. You simply had too many things going on in your head at once and it was too much for you to handle." a different, yet all too familiar, voice told him. Matt had no doubt that it was the truth.

He knew everything. Had all of his memories, but he didn't really remember the moment when he actually got them back, it was all a blur.

"Mello?" he questioned as he accepted the cup of water that was held out to him, he rinsed his mouth, but didn't drink any of the water beforehand. There was a small silence, but for Matt, it told him everything he needed to know.

"I believe that there will be no lasting effects from the episode, as everything should be sorted out in your head by now, for the most part. I would suggest that you take it easy for a while, but somehow I doubt I would be listened to." the doctor sighed and walked off, as it was apparent that there were things that needed to be discussed, but not with him around.

L said nothing more until the floor had been cleaned and that man had also left the room.

"Kira does indeed have Mello in his possession." L began, though Matt had already grasped that.

"The man who took him stated that both of us are to go to the new base and meet with Kira. I believe that was Kira's intention the entire time should that man fail to kill me, and perhaps you as well."

"Mikami. His name is Teru Mikami." Matt told L, and was able to lift his head rather than leave it to hang by his chest; though he was slow in his movements so as to not bring back the vicious reaction he'd had before.

"I believe you should tell me everything, now that you remember it, before we go and retrieve Mello." L's eyes held a cold fury, and Matt knew it was all directed at Light.

Matt explained everything he felt was relevant that he hadn't been able to the first time around, as well as what to expect assassin wise, though he did speculate that Light may have changed things around because of his knowledge.

L told him that he would make the arrangements for transportation, as the base was located in Los Angeles, California. They would have quite a trip ahead of them.

Matt had found out from Watari, who had come to bring him a spare change of clothes, that L had chased after Mikami the second he had dragged Mello out of sight, but that they had seemingly disappeared into thin air as the hallway and all nearby rooms had been empty.

Matt also found out that he and L would indeed, be going alone. As Mikami had stated that if anyone else was spotted anywhere in the nearby vicinity that could be associated with them, that Mello would be killed. Though if things went badly, and it looked as though they would be killed, Watari was only a phone call away.

Matt had clenched his fists at that and Watari had left him alone after a small pat on the shoulder.

He did not get his memories back just to lose Mello to Kira, who had messed things up in the first place.

Matt knew that he wasn't in top physical shape, not in the least, but at least he knew what moves would be helpful in detaining someone should the need arise while in there. And he hoped it did, because he would be damned if they just sat around while Light killed the three of them.

If he hadn't already hated Light, the Mello situation would have done it.

Matt slowly got himself upright and onto his feet and made his way to the infirmary bathroom where he took a quick shower just to rid himself of that sickly feeling that lasted after having thrown up.

L was there when he exited and by an unspoken agreement, Matt knew it was time to leave. Matt didn't have time to go grab his games, though he doubted he would have played them at any rate.

Though he was relieved to find that Watari had brought his cigarettes with him; those were not something Matt could function without at the moment. His nerves were completely shot, and his stomach knotted with worry and anticipation.

It would be a long flight to Los Angeles.

-

Matt's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he rolled the car into a stop. He glanced in the backseat and saw that L had dropped his feet to the floor, hand on the door handle. Matt took one last drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ash tray and pushed his door open.

As he stood and stretched he thought back to his and L's conversation on the plane.

Watari had only come with them to fly the plane, and stay with it, so it had left the two of them to figure out a plan, or in that case, not figure one out.

Matt had hoped that L would have had something thought out for their confrontation with Kira, but as with everything that pertained to the Kira mess, it wasn't that simple. L had explained that he only had the most general idea, as what they would do would depend on the situation they were about to head into, and since neither of them really knew anything, nothing could be planned until they were inside and had somewhat assessed the situation.

But L had also stated that it was sometimes better to just improvise, as the mind tended to freeze, even for a second, when things did not go according to plan. And every second counted with Kira.

Matt couldn't help but agree completely.

The main thing L had said, was not to endanger themselves or Mello if it could be helped, as Mello couldn't be saved if they were dead. Which Matt had to agree with. And as Mikami had specified that only Matt and L were to go, Matt was in charge of having to drive them over there; he supposed it was a good thing he'd learned to drive years ago, as L had apparently never learned.

Matt looked over at L, who for once had donned a pair shoes, and lit his last cigarette. He wished Watari had brought more than six packs with him, as he had smoked them rather quickly.

It was probably a good thing they had arrived or Matt would have been so anxious after the nicotine ran out that his mind would have been useless. He hated when things affected him so much...

They reached the end of the gravel road and Matt looked up at the warehouse that loomed above them. It was similar to the one that had housed their HQ, or rather his previous HQ. He pulled the rusted steel doors open and sighed heavily at the amount of noise they caused.

He watched as L still appeared slightly surprised to find the entire place empty. Completely barren. Though he had told L that it would be. With his experience, Matt knew that the main complex would be underground.

Matt stepped inside; there was no use in looking for traps as it was too dark to see anyway. If Light had wanted them dead, Matt knew that someone would have waited for them and shot them the moment he'd opened the warehouse door.

He didn't need to tell L what to look for, as it had been covered earlier, so the two of them scanned the dusty floor until L found very faint lines on the floor. Matt felt around until he found the hidden latch that opened up a small panel where one would type in their alias and ID number.

Matt knew that Light would make it easy for them to get in, so he entered his and was unsurprised as the large panel on the floor began to shift back to show a steep set of stairs.

"Down we go into the rabbit hole..." he muttered and took the steps by twos as L followed at a somewhat slower pace.

It was pitch black by the time they reached the last step and it stayed that way until the panel above them slid back into place, at which point a light went on above them and Matt was able to find the second keypad to retype the previous ID number onto it.

A loud click echoed in the confined space but Matt knew it was just the lock on the door having been undone. He grasped the handle and tilted it to the side and the door swung inward and they were assaulted with a crisp beige colored hallway with a maroon carpet.

There was no sound at all, and both ends of the hallway were empty, and Matt guessed that the rest of them would be too. "He's playing with us like were are rats in a maze. It's all a game to him." he mumbled, though he doubted that L hadn't heard him.

"Then we will just have to win his game." L responded quietly, thumb perched by his lips.

"My guess would be that he is watching us, and will send people after us according to where we go. Though I doubt they have been ordered to kill us just yet, probably just detain, as I suspect Light will want to do that himself." Matt told L.

Matt really wished he had a gun or a knife on hand...

"And if this is anything like the other compound, the part we are in should lead you in a circle if you only go right or only left, depending on the way you take, and the holding cells should be somewhere along the way. There would be a large gray door marked 'containment'." Matt said while he dragged in the last mouthful of poisonous smoke and crushed the filter under heal.

"_If _it is the same." L stated. Matt nodded. There was no guarantee that Light had kept things the same or even similar. Hell, 'containment' there could lead to the damn bathroom knowing Light and how he liked to mess with people.

"Meet you at the other end?" he asked the detective. L cocked his head to the side in thought for a moment before he nodded.

"Make sure you are there." L commented as he took off down the left side with his awkward and strange run. Matt smiled slightly. Why was it hard for everyone he knew just to come out and say what they meant normally?

He turned and started down the right side but didn't bother to look into any of the rooms there as the door would have been very easy to spot, and was not kept so close to the exit. Who would honestly keep their prisoners so close to a way out?

Not that they would have been able to find a way out with Light's design. It was made to confuse a person if they were not familiar with it, and even if you had lived there for years wrong turns were a normal occurrence.

It had been like living in a fun house from hell at times.

Matt turned left at the corner and ducked the boot that had been aimed at his head. He caught the leg, in a rather delayed manner, and managed to bring the person to the ground. He backed up slightly as the person flipped upwards and their fist connected with his jaw.

Matt was unsteady on his feet but still managed to elbow the person in the gut and grab a fistful of their hair to drag them close, he snapped their neck at his earliest convenience and was left to lean against the wall, winded.

Well that went well, he thought to himself.

He didn't even recognize the body that lay there, which meant it was not even someone skilled, and his limbs already burned. Couldn't Light have waited until he'd gotten into shape again, or not gone after L at all?

That also meant that agents like Mikami and Takada were guarding Mello. Matt sucked in a heavy breath and forced himself further down the new hallway and hoped that L wasn't in any trouble.

The hallways for the circle, though it was really more of a square, were always long and at least three people wide. He didn't spot L as he rounded the last corner and even as he neared two large and looming red doors, L still hadn't appeared.

Matt hoped it meant he'd found the holding cells.

He knew L would look for him should he not be there in the hallway when he appeared, but Matt recognized the red doors in front of him. It was Light's 'thrown room' as they had taken to having it called. Even though Light had hardly spent anytime in the previous HQ, he had liked his luxuries. He had apparently recreated it in the new HQ as well.

And that room had been where he 'passed judgment' on those who betrayed him or those he had asked to be captured. Just because he employed assassins didn't mean the assassins didn't know how to capture instead of just kill.

He narrowed his eyes as the doors opened on their own. Light had to be in there, as the controls for the door were on the thrown chair, and only Light was allowed to sit there. The last idiot to sit there, who hadn't been Light, had died a gruesome death.

Matt backed up as the doors continued to open outward and once they had finished he peered around the side to see Light seated in the chair, a smug grin etched across his lips.

"I hadn't actually thought you would come here first, in fact I had thought you would have gone to get that boy back." Light called to him and Matt grit his teeth as he walked inside.

Light had one elbow propped on the left arm of the large chair and rested his cheek against it while the other sat in his lap. He looked completely at ease, like a god that looked down at a lesser being brought before him.

Matt had always hated that condescending air about him.

Matt _might_ have also neglected to mention to L that Light might be that close to the holding cells.

"You know Matt, I was actually surprised when Kiyomi raised her suspicions about you as you had been one of my top agents. One that I had plucked straight from the streets by my own good graces." Light sneered.

"There is nothing good with a man like you." Matt snorted in amusement. Though he wouldn't deny that Light could have left him in the crappy gutter that he'd been found in, where he'd only had an outdated computer, the clothes on his back and the bruises on his body.

But he'd had only just lost his things in a street fight, he would have hacked the money back and gotten on his feet again, but Light had offered him an easier way out.

"Oh? I rid the world of some of the most corrupt people there are, and I'm no good?" Light's voice held mockery and Matt wondered how he'd ever dealt civilly with him before.

"You are just as bad as the people you have murdered." Matt saw Light's eyes narrow, and wondered if it was really such a good idea to walk much further into the room, though should Light decide to shut the doors he was already in too far to get out in time.

"You are under the assumption I know nothing about the real reason you want L dead. Or the dealings you do with _other_ criminals. A few somewhat good deeds doesn't make you a saint." Matt told the brunette calmly, though he felt anger boil just beneath the surface. But that was the difference between himself and Mello; he knew when to control it.

"Some sacrifices must be made, I admit. But L had gotten in the way of some very important deals. I need the information those clients possessed."

"And what about the orphanage and the children in it? Surely it wasn't necessary to order an entire sweep?" he noted the way Light's jaw tightened and his posture stiffened. He was angry that Matt was not falling to his logic, that he dared _question_ Light.

"No one is innocent if they get in my way." Light ground out. Matt smiled and shook his head. And there he had it, straight from the lion's mouth. It amazed him just how deluded Light was, or perhaps it was how messed up he was.

He heard footsteps and turned to see L, who stood in the doorway, though he was alone.

"I took care of the surprise that was left for me in the containment area, as well as freed Mello." L stated calmly as he walked over to Matt. He felt so very relieved that Mello was alright, or at the very least alive.

"Mello is currently letting everyone else in the containment area out, as despite their shady dealings as politicians, they are not criminals and are innocent." L said loudly, and Matt couldn't help the feeling of satisfaction at the look of outrage on Light's face.

"I have no doubt that once Mello is done there that he will indeed find his way here." L told him quietly.

"I should have sent Takada; at least she would have shot you!" Light spat at L. Though Matt knew the reason he hadn't sent Takada was because Mikami had a better record when it came to completed missions.

Though Mikami refused to use a gun, thought it was too messy or some crap like that.

Light stood up from his chair and calmly stepped down the three small steps and before Matt could even blink he and L were at each others throats. Matt backed away as he didn't want to get caught in the middle of it.

He noticed that L had managed to kick off his shoes, as the foot that connected with Light's chin was devoid of any footwear.

Though Matt had never actually seen Light fight he knew from secondhand accounts that he was pretty good. And from what he'd seen before of L, he was _very_ good. Or overconfident...

It had seemed that they had been evenly matched, despite the amount of hits they landed on one another, but it soon became apparent that Light _would_ loose. Light would lose and L would arrest him.

At least until Light had pulled out a gun.

_Bang_

L flew backwards and hit the ground with a roll and managed to land in a crouch nearly halfway across the large room. Blood stained his white shirt from his left shoulder and spread rapidly downwards. Light had always been a terrible shot. Though Matt's heart had still leapt into his throat.

"You see L, my justice will prevail." Light stated with a grin as he raised the gun again and despite Light having poor aim, there would be no missing L the next time even as L tensed to move.

Matt slammed into Light's side and the gun went off three feet to L's left as they tumbled to the floor. Light had let go of the gun and now scrambled to reach it and almost did until Matt dug his knee into Light's back.

Light growled and twisted until Matt was off balance enough for him to stretch the last few inches and wrap his fingers around the gun. "Fuck!" Matt swore and grabbed Light's arm to keep the aim away from L.

Light backhanded him and though dazed Matt hadn't let go. "Let go damn you!" Light yelled and shoved him the rest of the way to the floor. Matt kicked Light's legs out from under him the second he stood and the newly righted man was sent back to the floor with a curse.

Matt jumped onto him and pinned one hand above his head though the other hand was already between their bodies. There was a moment of deafening silence and all movements stopped.

Light held a smug grin and Matt was almost too dazed to feel the pain that exploded from his chest. He swayed and was shoved away from Light and onto his back. He coughed lightly but smirked as L took that moment to pin Light to the floor and handcuff him, gun having been kicked far away from the brunette. Light began to spout about the injustice of everything but Matt tuned him out.

He looked away from L and rolled to his side as he coughed; the harsh metallic taste that invaded his mouth that could only be blood. His heart raced pathetically in his chest only speeding up the flow of blood when what he really needed was for it to slow.

Damn, getting shot certainly hurt like hell.

He pulled his goggles away from his eyes, the lenses proving too difficult to see through anymore.

And Matt could only laugh weakly at the irony of the situation, second time shot and the first time _should _have been fatal, and yet this time...

"Matt!" his eyes snapped opened, though he hadn't noticed when they'd shut, at the familiar voice. He was so tired; it was a bad sign. "Mel.." he whispered and tried to prop himself up on one elbow but didn't seem to even have the strength to do that.

"Mel? Does that mean you remember?!" Matt couldn't help but smile at Mello's delighted tone, despite the fact that blood pounded in his ears and he could feel his heart rate slow.

"Matt, what's wrong? How badly are you injured?" Mello kneeled beside him with a worried frown. Though had anyone pointed out the 'worried' part Matt was sure the blonde would have denied it. Mello had to have spotted the growing stain that had turned his shirt into a red colored mess.

"Oh god.."

Matt smiled weakly at his best friend, twice over, and the person he loved.

Mello tugged off his jacket and used it to press against the gushing wound. "Hang in there Matty... you'll be fine..." tears welled up in his beautiful blue eyes, and for once Matt saw what the blonde tried so hard to keep hidden. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, and knew it had to have been some huge cosmic joke that Mello loved him too.

He lifted his blood coated hand and gently touched the scared side of the blonde's face and kept them there despite the tears that fell onto them. "Mello, I love you." and maybe it was cruel of him to tell the blonde that he loved him, as Matt knew it could only end badly for Mello at this point. But he felt Mello ought to know.

He felt he owed it to his best friend, his first love and someone he had been happy to be around.

Things didn't make too much sense anymore, and he wished, beyond anything, that he'd had the courage to tell Mello long before that moment.

He really wished things had worked out differently...

-

Mello's inside froze as Matt's green eyes fluttered a few times, unspoken words resting on his lips, before the lids slowly closed shut. Matt's blood slicked fingers slipped from his face and left a downwards smear. Mello sucked in a breath and tried to hold back a choked sob.

"Matt?" he croaked; the words having gotten stuck in his throat.

"Matt, please don't..." he quickly checked for a pulse, though somewhere in the very back of his mind he had known there wouldn't be one, and felt his world stop at the dead pulse.

"Damn it Matt I love you too... you can't..." he whispered harshly and hunched over Matt's bloodied body and cried into his shoulder. His fingers gripped harshly at the blood matted fabric but it only made him clench it tighter between his fingers.

He closed his eyes and blocked out the world.

He ignored L who stood silently by his side, with his sad eyes, and he ignored the fact that the body beneath him had stopped moving minutes before.

If he could only ignore it all for a little bit longer...

Maybe he wouldn't go crazy.

**-End **_**Memories**_**-**

**AN**: So honestly, who cried? *raises hand*

You have absolutely _no idea_ how difficult it was to write the last 600 words, but I think I did ok. I'd had the general idea for quite a while, since like chapter 4, I think, but it took forever to write and it has gone through 3 or so versions.

Next chapter is the** epilogue**. It's been written since before I even began to post Choices on here. So yeah...

**AND **(*hears everyone groan*) though the next fic I will be posting is **The Silent Place**, I am **currently writing** another fic which may (I honestly don't know) **end up nearly as long** as Choices. Currently it doesn't even have a title but it does have 6 chapters... if that makes anyone feel any better...

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Lady Hiroko, Kara 'Nine', Amaya-Ai, kat716, sugarsuicide, Daphne Raynard, foreverunloved, xzombieViolinistx, Fused-Chappy, FB Edit, Nemo, blood-stained-rag-doll, Salvi, RainbowJapan, SparkLust, xHanako, Yaoiluver190, Night-Huntress019, Enjy, fake-lis, jhoker, imageniusindisguise, ShyClown, tsuki1613, Mezzanotte Nera, Kari Twilight Mist, Living in a fantasy, Floppy-IDon'tCareWhatYouThink, Zellicy, Moonphase9, The Sora-muffin

**Review?**


	29. Epilogue: Silence

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note, m'kay?

**AN:** First, holy CRAP I got so many reviews for last chapter. And I got more fanart, check it out at the bottom of my profile. (and just because this has ended doesn't mean I wont still love fanart if anyone wants to do some)

K, I **wrote** the epilogue to Come Back by Lesley Roy, that song is pretty much the theme for the first part of it, and has been since I heard it. I would start the song at 2:22 into it for reading this. I found the lyrics rather fitting. ^_^

If you notice though, there are three sections for the epilogue and three songs suggested, coincidence? Perhaps... not? (though the second song has no real meaning to it)

_Also; The Silent Place prologue will be out tomorrow!_

**Suggested Listening**: Come Back **by** Lesley Roy**;** Run **by** Snow Patrol**;** Who You Are **by** Lunatica

**Epilogue**: _Silence_

It was a cold, wet, dreary day. And Mello couldn't help but find it strangely fitting. He stood there, with the rest from Wammys house, wearing suites and ties, but he couldn't help but feel alone.

Alone and terribly, terribly, cold.

He stared at the name on the tombstone. Mail Jeevas. He hadn't known it before and if that was the price for knowing it he sincerely wished he didn't.

Matt. Mail.

The name didn't matter. The person it belonged to was gone. All because Mello had been so damned _stupid_. It rained harder then, the frigid water soaked his hair and made it stick to his face. Matt would have hated the rain, made it impossible to enjoy a smoke, or so he'd once said.

Mello missed him.

His missed his stupid games. He missed the acrid smell of smoke that lingered around him. He missed his damn smirk, or the way his face lit up when he was genuinely happy. He missed those impossibly green eyes...He missed him so fucking much.

He'd give _anything _to have him back.

Mello stared blankly, numbly, at the grave before him. Seeing but not seeing. His fists clenched tightly and he turned away, tears blinding his vision. He couldn't stand being there any longer.

What was going into that ground wasn't Matt. Matt had died the moment his eyes had closed and his heart had beaten for the last time.

He walked a little faster and completely ignored the voices that called for him.

.

Mello, L mused, was not the same boy he'd been only months earlier. And had his third successor still been alive, he would have been able to say that the change was a good thing.

But seeing as the game loving redhead was dead...

L leaned back slightly, though still in his customary position, perched in the chair, and sighed. His thumb found the side of his mouth and pressed there, parting his lips ever so slightly.

His owlish gaze was locked onto the reports on his screen. And the accompanying numbers. After a rather large fluctuation in his score, Mello dropping in the charts as low as eleventh place for a time, he seemed to have gotten a second wind so to speak.

More often than not, Mello was ranked first. Thought it varied from week to week. Sometimes he was as high as ten points above Near, or ten points below the boy. But the fact that Mello had obtained first was something to behold, though he knew the boy took no pleasure in it.

He hardly spoke to anyone anymore, unless it was study or class related. And while the slightest thing used to rile the boy up before, it was almost impossible to get a reaction out of him other than the ever-present blank expression or bitter smirk.

It rather saddened L, to a large degree, that the blonde had ended up that way. So much that had made up Mello had been his fiery personality, which was all but erased nowadays. Mello was finally living up to his alias, and it disturbed everyone who had known him before the Kira incident.

His study habits before had been worrisome, apparently, as L had never seen them firsthand, but now it was all the blonde did. If L thought it would do any good, he might order him to take it easy, to take a break.

But L had a feeling that it was the only thing holding the blonde together anymore.

L shook himself of those thoughts; they didn't belong with what he was reviewing. He could feel something in the air, and knew it was time to think of choosing his successor. But damn if he wasn't having a hard time of it.

Some days... he really wished life hadn't been so cruel.

.

Mello lit up another cigarette as he turned the page in the textbook. The smell of smoke was overpowering and filled the entire room. Mello both loved and hated the scent.

He took a long drag as his eyes poured over the words in front of him, though for a moment he didn't actually see the words, lost in his own thoughts as he was. Matt had been right. Cigarettes really could calm frayed nerves.

Which had been part of the reason he'd taken them up. The rest of the reason. He felt just a little bit closer to the redhead. It was stupid, and every time he thought about it made his chest ache.

He exhaled and quickly took another drag, half reading and half watching the stick burn. He knew all the risks about smoking, what it could do to you, always had, which was why he'd been so against Matt smoking them. And yet the more bitter and hurt parts of him was waiting for, wanting, all those bad things to happen to himself.

He was causing himself a slow death, Mello mused. Though maybe it was more correct to say that he had already died, and merely wanted to finish the job. As he turned the page he smiled hollowly.

Yes, that sounded more accurate.

He had died months ago.

When Matt had.

It was almost funny, in a way, how the death of one person had crushed his spirit so.

So until his body died, he would continue on in his pursuit of becoming L. Of catching criminals.

He took one last drag before he stubbed out the remainder of the cigarette and lit another one in its place.

"Soon Matty, soon." he mumbled quietly to himself.

**-End-**

**AN:** Wow is all I can say for this ending.

Yes this is the end and I did kill Matt T^T you have no idea how hard it was for me to do that too... but I noticed a trend in my multi-chapterd fics that I felt needed to be broken. And that was they always seem to have a happy-ish ending with those two (happy in the fact that they don't die) So... I made this a not so happy ending.

I have LOVED writing this, and I think it was one of my favorite pieces to do. So I'd like to hear some feedback, and please don't yell at me for the ending -_-;

**Special thanks to all of my reviewers**: Monkeys.4eva, PrincessPika, Kara 'Nine', Nemo, Disordered Soliloquy, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, Moonphase9, FB Edit, xzombieViolinistx, Fused-Chappy, Kari Twilight Mist, xHanako, Zero Sense of Justice, Daphne Raynard, Kyler Conroy, Night-Huntress019, roystealer, doomshuriken, JJ, ShyClown, Lellozawa, Zellicy, Salvi, Aoayame, jhoker, Yaoiluver190, Miss-Dreev, SparkLust, foreverunloved, Zena Silverwing, The Musical Muffin, tsuki1613, Amaya-Ai, RainbowJapan, Living in a fantasy, Mezzanotte Nera

REVIEW! (or I'll kill someone in my next fic, muwahahhaha!)

~...~

**I will repeat it here, The Silent Place prologue will be out tomorrow!**

The Silent Place **Full Summary**: Mello, two years after the incident with the Organization, is still working on living with the aftermath & his fixing the strained relationship with Matt. That was when the trouble started. A series of calls makes Mello understand that sometimes no matter how hard you try you just cant escape your past. Final in WSF series. MattMello.

And **introducing** my **new fic**, which is still untitled (or as its folder on my computer says 'Wammy House Secret fic' lame...)

**Fic Summary:** Sometimes... finding out the truth can put you in much more danger than living a lie. Matt drags Mello & Near into a plot full of murder, lying, kidnapping and revenge that spans across decades before they were born. Sometimes, Matt thinks, it just wasn't worth the cost they had to pay.

_(my beta 'dislikes' that summary when I told her a bit more about the fic... so the summary will probably change once the fic is completed and ready to post. I'm currently on chapter 7 out of kami knows how many.) _


	30. Choices: AE

**AN**: I was originally going to wait to post this until I had edited Choices (as we all know there were A LOT of things that needed to be fixed) but with work as messed up as it is I have no idea when it will be done (I only have up to 13 done! T^T) and I didn't think it was fair to make you guy/girls/others? Wait any longer. :)

and...

OMG you have NO IDEA how trouble the ending gave me... oh well. OK, I know I stated before that I was going to post the entire chapter and just add in the bits at the end were different, but I decided to simply start it off from when the entered Kira's HQ. If you need to refresh your memory from before that you will have to go back to the original chapter. :)

However if you simply wish to skip to the new stuff it will be right after Matt and Light start fighting for the gun, the last word of the original chapter will be in bold.

_**~Choices AE~**_

Matt's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he rolled the car into a stop. He glanced in the backseat and saw that L had dropped his feet to the floor, hand on the door handle. Matt took one last drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ash tray and pushed his door open.

As he stood and stretched he thought back to his and L's conversation on the plane.

Watari had only come with them to fly the plane, and stay with it, so it had left the two of them to figure out a plan, or in that case, not figure one out.

Matt had hoped that L would have had something thought out for their confrontation with Kira, but as with everything that pertained to the Kira mess, it wasn't that simple. L had explained that he only had the most general idea, as what they would do would depend on the situation they were about to head into, and since neither of them really knew anything, nothing could be planned until they were inside and had somewhat assessed the situation.

But L had also stated that it was sometimes better to just improvise, as the mind tended to freeze, even for a second, when things did not go according to plan. And every second counted with Kira.

Matt couldn't help but agree completely.

The main thing L had said, was not to endanger themselves or Mello if it could be helped, as Mello couldn't be saved if they were dead. Which Matt had to agree with. And as Mikami had specified that only Matt and L were to go, Matt was in charge of having to drive them over there; he supposed it was a good thing he'd learned to drive years ago, as L had apparently never learned.

Matt looked over at L, who for once had donned a pair shoes, and lit his last cigarette. He wished Watari had brought more than six packs with him, as he had smoked them rather quickly.

It was probably a good thing they had arrived or Matt would have been so anxious after the nicotine ran out that his mind would have been useless. He hated when things affected him so much...

They reached the end of the gravel road and Matt looked up at the warehouse that loomed above them. It was similar to the one that had housed their HQ, or rather his previous HQ. He pulled the rusted steel doors open and sighed heavily at the amount of noise they caused.

He watched as L still appeared slightly surprised to find the entire place empty. Completely barren. Though he _had_ told L that it would be. With his experience, Matt knew that the main complex would be underground.

Matt stepped inside; there was no use in looking for traps as it was too dark to see anyway. If Light had wanted them dead, Matt knew that someone would have waited for them and shot them the moment he'd opened the warehouse door.

He didn't need to tell L what to look for, as it had been covered earlier, so the two of them scanned the dusty floor until L found very faint lines in the concrete. Matt felt around until he found the hidden latch that opened up a small panel where one would type in their alias and ID number.

Matt knew that Light would make it easy for them to get in, so he entered his and was unsurprised as the large panel on the floor began to shift back to show a steep set of stairs.

"Down we go into the rabbit hole..." he muttered and took the steps by twos as L followed at a somewhat slower pace.

It was pitch black by the time they reached the last step and it stayed that way until the panel above them slid back into place, at which point a light went on above them and Matt was able to find the second keypad to retype the previous ID number onto it.

A loud click echoed in the confined space but Matt knew it was just the lock on the door having been undone. He grasped the handle and tilted it to the side and the door swung inward and they were assaulted with a crisp beige colored hallway with a maroon carpet.

There was no sound at all, and both ends of the hallway were empty, and Matt guessed that the rest of them would be too. "He's playing with us like were are rats in a maze. It's all a game to him." he mumbled, though he doubted that L hadn't heard him.

"Then we will just have to win his game." L responded quietly, thumb perched by his lips.

"My guess would be that he is watching us, and will send people after us according to where we go. Though I doubt they have been ordered to kill us just yet, probably just detain, as I suspect Light will want to do that himself." Matt told L.

Matt really wished he had a gun or a knife on hand...

"And if this is anything like the other compound, the part we are in should lead you in a circle if you only go right or only left, depending on the way you take; the holding cells should be somewhere along the way. There would be a large gray door marked 'containment'." Matt said while he dragged in the last mouthful of poisonous smoke and crushed the filter under heal.

"_If _it is the same." L stated. Matt nodded. There was no guarantee that Light had kept things the same or even similar. Hell, 'containment' there could lead to the damn bathroom knowing Light and how he liked to mess with people.

"Meet you at the other end?" he asked the detective. L cocked his head to the side in thought for a moment before he nodded.

"Make sure you are there." L commented as he took off down the left side with his awkward and strange run. Matt smiled slightly. Why was it hard for everyone he knew just to come out and say what they meant normally?

He turned and started down the right side but didn't bother to look into any of the rooms there as the door would have been very easy to spot, and was not kept so close to the exit. Who would honestly keep their prisoners so close to a way out?

Not that they would have been able to find a way out with Light's design. It was made to confuse a person if they were not familiar with it, and even if you had lived there for years wrong turns were a normal occurrence.

It had been like living in a fun house from hell at times.

Matt turned left at the corner and ducked the boot that had been aimed at his head. He caught the leg, in a rather delayed manner, and managed to bring the person to the ground. He backed up slightly as the person flipped upwards and their fist connected with his jaw.

Matt was unsteady on his feet but still managed to elbow the person in the gut and grab a fistful of their hair to drag them close, he snapped their neck at his earliest convenience and was left to lean against the wall, winded.

Well that went well, he thought to himself.

He didn't even recognize the body that lay there, which meant it was not even someone skilled, and his limbs already burned. Couldn't Light have waited until he'd gotten into shape again, or not gone after L at all?

That also meant that agents like Mikami and Takada were guarding Mello. Matt sucked in a heavy breath and forced himself further down the new hallway and hoped that L wasn't in any trouble.

The hallways for the circle, though it was really more of a square, were always long and at least three people wide. He didn't spot L as he rounded the last corner and even as he neared two large and looming red doors, L still hadn't appeared.

Matt hoped it meant he'd found the holding cells.

He knew L would look for him should he not be there in the hallway when he appeared, but Matt recognized the red doors in front of him. It was Light's 'thrown room' as they had taken to having it called. Even though Light had hardly spent anytime in the previous HQ, he had liked his luxuries. He had apparently recreated it in the new HQ as well.

And that room had been where he 'passed judgment' on those who betrayed him or those he had asked to be captured. Just because he employed assassins didn't mean the assassins didn't know how to capture instead of just kill.

He narrowed his eyes as the doors opened on their own. Light had to be in there, as the controls for the door were on the thrown chair, and only Light was allowed to sit there. The last idiot to sit there, who hadn't been Light, had died a gruesome death.

Matt backed up as the doors continued to open outward and once they had finished he peered around the side to see Light seated in the chair, a smug grin etched across his lips.

"I hadn't actually thought you would come here first, in fact I had thought you would have gone to get that boy back." Light called to him and Matt grit his teeth as he walked inside.

Light had one elbow propped on the left arm of the large chair and rested his cheek against it while the other sat in his lap. He looked completely at ease, like a god that looked down at a lesser being brought before him.

Matt had always hated that condescending air about him.

Matt _might_ have also neglected to mention to L that Light might be that close to the holding cells.

"You know Matt, I was actually surprised when Kiyomi raised her suspicions about you as you had been one of my top agents. One that I had plucked straight from the streets by my own good graces." Light sneered.

"There is nothing good with a man like you." Matt snorted in amusement. Though he wouldn't deny that Light could have left him in the crappy gutter that he'd been found in, where he'd only had an outdated computer, the clothes on his back and the bruises on his body.

But he'd had only just lost his things in a street fight, he would have hacked the money back and gotten on his feet again, but Light had offered him an easier way out.

"Oh? I rid the world of some of the most corrupt people there are, and I'm no good?" Light's voice held mockery and Matt wondered how he'd ever dealt civilly with him before.

"You are just as bad as the people you have murdered." Matt saw Light's eyes narrow, and wondered if it was really such a good idea to walk much further into the room, though should Light decide to shut the doors he was already in too far to get out in time.

"You are under the assumption I know nothing about the real reason you want L dead. Or the dealings you do with _other_ criminals. A few somewhat good deeds doesn't make you a saint." Matt told the brunette calmly, though he felt anger boil just beneath the surface. But that was the difference between himself and Mello; he knew when to control it.

"Some sacrifices must be made, I admit. But L had gotten in the way of some very important deals. I need the information those clients possessed."

"And what about the orphanage and the children in it? Surely it wasn't necessary to order an entire sweep?" he noted the way Light's jaw tightened and his posture stiffened. He was angry that Matt was not falling to his logic, that he dared _question_ Light.

"No one is innocent if they get in my way." Light ground out. Matt smiled and shook his head. And there he had it, straight from the lion's mouth. It amazed him just how deluded Light was, or perhaps it was how messed up he was.

He heard footsteps and turned to see L, who stood in the doorway, though he was alone.

"I took care of the surprise that was left for me in the containment area, as well as freed Mello." L stated calmly as he walked over to Matt. He felt so very relieved that Mello was alright, or at the very least alive.

"Mello is currently letting everyone else in the containment area out, as despite their shady dealings as politicians, they are not criminals and are innocent." L said loudly, and Matt couldn't help the feeling of satisfaction at the look of outrage on Light's face.

"I have no doubt that once Mello is done there that he will indeed find his way here." L told him quietly.

"I should have sent Takada; at least she would have shot you!" Light spat at L. Though Matt knew the reason he hadn't sent Takada was because Mikami had a better record when it came to completed missions.

Though Mikami refused to use a gun, thought it was too messy or some crap like that.

Light stood up from his chair and calmly stepped down the three small steps and before Matt could even blink he and L were at each others throats. Matt backed away as he didn't want to get caught in the middle of it.

He noticed that L had managed to kick off his shoes, as the foot that connected with Light's chin was devoid of any footwear.

Though Matt had never actually seen Light fight he knew from secondhand accounts that he was pretty good. And from what he'd seen before of L, he was _very_ good. Or overconfident...

It had seemed that they had been evenly matched, despite the amount of hits they landed on one another, but it soon became apparent that Light _would_ loose. Light would lose and L would arrest him.

At least until Light had pulled out a gun.

_Bang_

L flew backwards and hit the ground with a roll and managed to land in a crouch nearly halfway across the large room. Blood stained his white shirt from his left shoulder and spread rapidly downwards. Light had always been a terrible shot. Though Matt's heart had still leapt into his throat.

"You see L, my justice will prevail." Light stated with a grin as he raised the gun again and despite Light having poor aim, there would be no missing L the next time even as L tensed to move.

Matt slammed into Light's side and the gun went off three feet to L's left as they tumbled to the floor. Light had let go of the gun and now scrambled to reach it and almost did until Matt dug his knee into Light's back.

Light growled and twisted until Matt was off balance enough for him to stretch the last few inches and wrap his fingers around the gun. "Fuck!" Matt swore and grabbed Light's arm to keep the aim away from L.

Light backhanded him and though dazed Matt hadn't let go. "Let go damn you!" Light yelled and shoved him the rest of the way to the floor. Matt kicked Light's legs out from under him the second he stood and the newly righted man was sent back to the floor with a curse**.**

Matt jumped onto Light and pinned one hand above his head though the other hand was already between their bodies. There was a moment of deafening silence and all movements **stopped**.

Light held a smug grin even as blood pooled out the sides of his lips. He weakly shoved Matt off of him and despite everything still made to grab the gun from Matt's hands. Matt rolled away from the brunette as L approached; his hand was still pressed to the growing stain on his shirt.

Matt sat there numbly as he watched L, who cuffed Light despite the obvious signs that he would be dead in a matter of minutes. He couldn't believe how close he had just come to getting shot, _again_.

And Matt doubted that he would have lived through it a second time, luck was never on his side. Though perhaps this time, it had been. He only half listened as Light began to weakly spout on about justice and how it was a crime to have shot him; he didn't think the brunette had even accepted the possibility he would _die_.

Matt pulled his goggles down to rest at his chest and rubbed at his eyes. He had a killer headache and needed a cigarette. He passed the gun gently between his hands and after a moments indecision, simply placed the safety on rather then empty it of bullets.

Just because Kira had been caught didn't mean they were safe yet. They had no way of knowing just how many assassins Light had kept in there. Though Light always had been arrogant so it was possible that L had taken out the only others in the complex.

"Matt!" his head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice, and despite the drama still going on off to his left, he grinned. "Mel…"

Mello literally stopped in his tracks a few feet away, surprise wide in his eyes. "Mel? Does that mean you remember?" Matt couldn't help but smile at Mello's delighted tone. Of course he would be happy, his friend had finally remembered him.

"Yeah, don't really know how I could have forgotten you." he told the blonde fondly. He watched as Mello's cheeks were tinted pink and he finally, _finally_, understood the look that had been in Mello's eyes the entire time.

Love.

Mello loved _him_.

His grin stretched wider of its own accord as he accepted the hand offered. He was pulled to his feet and he stuffed the gun into his jeans waistband. He felt Mello's hesitation to let him go, and wondered why he had never noticed it before in the rest of his actions.

But, he supposed, the most obvious things were usually the hardest to figure out.

"I believe it is time we departed before anyone left here discovers what happened to Kira." L stated from his slightly more hunched position that usual. Matt took a glance down and found that Light's eyes were shut and his face lax. He was dead. There was no need to take him with them.

And despite wanting something to finally happen between himself and Mello, Matt had to agree.

"Or before you bleed to death." he muttered to the pale detective. Mello let out a small gasp of horror as L merely smiled. It was strained, but it was a smile.

The hallways were quiet, just as quiet as before, as they sprinted to the doorway. Matt hoped his codes still worked to get out. Light had set them up to let them in, but_ out_ was another matter entirely.

His fingers quickly punched at the keypad and he grinned as the door slid open. Once they were inside the darkened room again, he repeated the process to get the hidden door above the stairs to open for them to escape.

Matt went up first, gun before him, and quickly scanned the dark room, though as before it was simply too dark to adequately make anything out. If he was shot he guessed that meant they weren't alone.

He waited, a little anxiously, as Mello helped L up the stairs; though Matt still wasn't certain whether L actually needed the help or not. Though whether it was needed or not L allowed it until they had reached the car where he seated himself in the back with a look that suggested Mello should ride in the front passenger side.

Matt started the car, still a bit apprehensive at the fact that no one seemed to come after them, and barreled down the road. He was about to suggest to L that they get him some form of medical attention, as he doubted it was a good idea to attempt the flight back to England beforehand, when the detective pulled his cell phone free of his pocket.

He figured L wanted him to get back to the plane first, if anything to retrieve some form of fake identification or whatnot, as he had not stated otherwise.

Mello sat quietly in his seat, not so secretly glancing back at L every few moments, and Matt couldn't help but watch him. He really couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it…

"The two of you will watch the plane for us while Watari and I take care of my gunshot wound." L told them a moment later. Matt had to wonder just what sort of strings had to be pulled in order for that to happen, it wasn't like L could simply waltz into a normal hospital despite no one knowing his face.

L simply wouldn't take the chance.

And while Matt doubted the detective would keel over and die anytime soon, he still broke a few laws with his speeding. Watari was waiting for them outside the plane when they arrived and Matt slowed to a stop beside him.

"I am happy to see that things went relatively well considering the odds the two of you faced." the elder man commented as he opened the door for Mello, who stepped out quickly after a backwards glance at L.

"I suppose you'll call if anything goes wrong…" Matt trailed off as Watari nodded. There was really nothing left to say so Matt stepped away from the car and walked over to the plane. He was sure L would be fine, Watari wouldn't let it end any other way.

As Mello walked up the steep flight of stairs, Matt found himself suddenly nervous with nothing else to distract him. The Kira case, for all intents and purposes, was closed. All that was left to do was tell Mello…

He knew it was probably best to wait until they were back at the new Wammys, more appropriate as L was injured, but Matt was sick of waiting now that he knew, for certain that Mello at least felt _something_ for him.

Matt closed the hatch behind him and watched as Mello tore open a chocolate bar that had been left out in the event that he returned. He smiled a little at the satisfied groan the blonde let out as he devoured the confection.

"Hey Mello..." the blonde looked up from the wrapper as he walked over. Matt regarded him for a moment, silently, before he pulled him into his arms for a hug. Mello took a sharp breath but relaxed almost immediately.

"I'm glad you're safe." He murmured to him. Though it hadn't been what he wanted to say.

"I'm happy you are too. It was a stupid thing to do… just the two of you… if you had…" Mello wrapped his arms around him and squeezed him almost harshly, his fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.

"It may have been stupid but it was the only action we could take. We… no, _I_ wasn't going to leave you there. I would have gone even had L told me not to."

Mello looked up at him, surprise and something Matt would have called longing in his eyes. He had wanted to wait until Kira was gone to confess, and he was. He brushed back a strand of Mello's unruly hair and gave the blonde a tiny smile before he leaned in to brush his lips against his.

Mello gasped softly but the surprise only lasted a second before he was returning the kiss fervidly. Blue eyes fluttered shut and Matt had a hard time believing such a peaceful expression could ever touch Mello's features.

The kiss only lasted for a short while and Mello's face was flushed when they pulled away. The blonde smiled, almost shyly, up at him and Matt couldn't help giving those lips of his another quick peck.

"Love you." he whispered just above Mello's parted lips. Mello breathed in deeply, eyes shutting for a moment, as his hands went behind Matt's head to pull him closer; he didn't stop until their foreheads were touching.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that..."

"I can guess…" he commented with a smile as Mello laughed. Mello had been extremely hurt by his memory loss and now that he was free to analyze it without anything looming over his head, and all of his memories back, it seemed like more than that of a simple friend. The hurt had run deeper.

But it didn't matter anymore.

It didn't _matter _because they had each other now, and Matt would do everything to make sure Mello never felt that hurt ever again.

He brushed his fingers against Mello's jaw and smirked at the shiver he was rewarded with. Mello stayed silent but leaned into his touch; his eyes wide and happy.

It didn't matter to Matt if Mello ever said he loved him out loud because he _knew_ Mello loved him. He could see it in his eyes, in his expression, and in the way he held onto him so tightly. Mello loved him, and Matt wished they had said something sooner.

But, he supposed, it had turned out alright despite everything.

Mello pressed his lips to his and he smiled.

Definitely alright.

.

It had been months since the Kira incident had ended and Matt honestly couldn't be happier. His time from before Wammys was finally over with.

He may never forget it, unforeseen head injuries excluded, but at least it was over with.

When L had gotten back to the plane some odd hours later, along with Watari, he and Mello had been sitting in their seats half asleep and more than ready to get back to Wammys. L was bandaged up, and had a button up shirt on rather than his customary long-sleeved white one. But he was alright, and that was all Mello had been worried about.

There had really been no talking on the way back, as all of them were exhausted from the last few days events, and upon getting back at Wammys sleep had been all anyone wanted.

Things had become interesting, to say the least.

It was an unspoken thing, but Mello hardly seemed comfortable with letting anyone see them as more than friends, at least not for the moment.

It didn't really bother Matt, as he figured it had more to do with L than anything, as he wasn't much into having other people stare at him anyway. And what he and Mello did wasn't something he wanted to have spotlighted anyway; even if it hadn't gotten all that far yet.

"I'm getting closer. Only a few more points!" Mello told him excitedly as he moved away from the rankings sheet. Matt grinned, having been brought out of his musings. He loved seeing Mello that happy, though he knew that beating Near was only part of it.

"I'm sure you'll get it. You haven't failed in anything that really matters yet." he told him and watched as Mello's smile took on a softer edge. Honestly, how the hell had either of them hidden this from each other?

He wondered if it was one of those things where _everyone_ around them knew and they were the only clueless ones... probably.

"Matt, I love you." Mello told him, smile stretched as far as it would go. Mello then threw his arms around his neck and kissed him despite all of the others around them. If Mello didn't care anymore, then he certainly didn't.

He pulled the blonde close and added tongue to the mix and felt Mello somewhat melt against him. He could hear a few gasps of those who had been near them and couldn't help but feel slightly pleased despite not liking the attention.

That had been the first time Mello had actually told him.

He knew that whatever happened, whether or not Mello was chosen as the next L, they would be together. And for once, Matt could say he actually looked foreword to the future.

.

**Suggested Listening**: Learning the Hard Way **by** Gin Blossoms

_**~Epilogue~**_

Mello was seated on his bed while he waited for Matt to get back from smoking. He played with the zipper on his vest for a moment before he let his hands drop to his lap. He looked down and smoothed out the creases on his pants before he removed his fingers with a snarl.

He stood up and began to pace; he was driving himself _crazy. _

Why the hell was he so nervous...? Granted he had no idea how to get into the subject without just outright _asking_...

But it wasn't like he'd ever been in that position with anyone before... or like he had ever _wanted _it before either. And fuck he was a little embarrassed too. He wanted to have sex with Matt... but he had no idea how to ask, or even how that would go about other than the barest hint.

He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. He was almost eighteen and his first kiss had only been months ago when Matt had told him he loved him on the plane!

Becoming L was everything. It took most of his time with the studying and the constant need to better himself... it _had been_ everything. Then Matt had come along and brushed aside some of his drive and made him fall in love and suddenly, after all that damn dangerous crap was out of the way, he was craving Matt like never before.

It was ridicules.

And he had no idea how approach his boyfriend. He sighed and turned in his pacing as the door creaked open, startling him. Matt walked in slowly, hands in his pockets, unlit cigarette dangling from his lips, hair wind mused, smelling of smoke, and looking absolutely and utterly sexy.

Mello swallowed slightly and knew that he wouldn't be able to form the words needed to explain at the moment. He had never been good at words. Matt closed the door slowly, seemingly oblivious to his inner turmoil.

Mello didn't know how far it would go this time, but he would at least, somehow, make Matt understand what he wanted. He closed the distance between them, pulled the unlit cigarette from Matt's mouth, and crushed his lips against the redheads.

He could tell Matt was surprised, though he obviously didn't mind as he pulled him close and wrapped his stripe clad arms around him. They'd had heated sessions before, more than once, that had contained heavy kissing and light groping; but nothing beyond that.

It already seemed different that time though, as though he was projecting his want through the kisses, as Matt's hands had wandered far quicker than they usually did and he couldn't help the slight gasp as Matt squeezed him.

And Mello couldn't help but think that maybe Matt had known all along and had just been waiting for him to finally decide when he _wanted_ it to happen. And damn if it didn't make him feel just the slightest bit awed.

Matt's tongue slid against his bottom lip and the second he opened his mouth, ever so slightly, the kiss was deepened. Matt's hands were fisted in his hair, were sliding down his chest and Mello couldn't help the way his heart began to race inside his chest.

The room began to heat up and he decided to take it a step further and undo Matt's belt. When the redhead didn't protest he knew had been waiting for him to make the first move. He kicked off his boots, loosing another inch on the redhead in doing so, and tugged Matt foreword by the waistband of his jeans.

Matt made a soft groaning noise and Mello found himself being pushed more quickly in the direction of the bed; but he didn't mind in the least. His vest was lost, as well as Matt's shirt and boots, by the time the back of his knees hit the bed and they tumbled backwards. He gasped as Matt fell onto him, their bodies pressing deliriously close.

Matt trailed his lips away from his mouth, down past his neck and throat and latched onto a nipple and Mello couldn't contain a gasp. Matt's mouth was warm and wet and Mello shivered as he brushed his teeth against him.

He barely had time to breathe before Matt's lips trailed even lower and he swallowed harshly as the redhead used his teeth to undo the laces of his leather pants. Where the hell had Matt even learned that? Or had it simply been something spur of the moment?

Mello found that he simply didn't care as Matt's breath ghosted across his erection; though Matt didn't take him into his mouth.

He scooted further up onto the bed as Matt crawled above him after retrieving something from his pocket, though Mello hadn't remembered him loosing his jeans or boxers. Mello took in the creamy flesh and shivered at the look in Matt's eyes.

Matt dropped a small tube by his side and before Mello could even glance at it Matt lips were on his again as his hands ran along his side. He arched into Matt as his fingers caressed the sensitive skin by his hips and he moaned loudly into the kiss as they dipped lower to brush against his inner thigh.

He wrapped his arms around Matt to tug him closer and let the redhead slip between his parted legs but couldn't hold back the sharp gasp as their bodies touched. He ground against Matt and was surprised when Matt's teeth tugged at his bottom lip and he heard the cap being popped open off the tube.

Even if it didn't go any further this time Mello knew he would be satisfied.

"Matt.." he moaned as Matt's lips sucked at the hollow of his neck, as his tongue swirled against his skin. He flinched slightly at the cold substance that trailed down his thigh and even lower until it was pressed against his entrance. He swallowed, heart hammering in his chest, as Matt pushed a finger inside of him.

He breathed deeply. It wasn't too bad. At least until the second finger was added. He hissed slightly but it was silenced by Matt's lips. A tongue was shoved into his mouth as Matt sought to distract him, and damn if he didn't do a good job of it.

Matt slide his hand over Mello's erection as he pressed a third finger into him and Mello was thrown by the odd mix of pain and pleasure, though there was far more pleasure. Matt pulled his fingers free a few moments later and breathed his name against his ear and though he hesitated, Mello tightened his hold on Matt and spread his legs further and wrapped them around his waist. He trusted Matt.

Mello had the odd thought that perhaps they should have locked the door but it left him the second Matt eased the head of his penis inside and he bit his lip. Matt kissed his cheek in apology and slid in further, fingers still gently stroking Mello's erection.

Mello let out a large, mostly shaky, breath as Matt stilled above him once fully inside; or at least as far as he was able to go. Mello had a feeling that no matter how long he waited there would still be pain, so after a few more seconds, perhaps minutes, he urged Matt to continue.

Matt's thrusts were sporadic, searching and there was no sense of rhythm until the moment he pressed against a certain spot that had Mello throwing his head back in a silent cry of pleasure.

He tightened his legs around Matt in an attempt tp bring him even closer. There was still a slight lingering pain but it was nothing to the sensations that Matt brought to the surface with every jerk of his hips or stroke of his hand.

Mello pried his eyes open halfway and stared into Matt's lust filled green orbs and was simply amazed at how much his eyes expressed. He didn't need Matt's gasps or half groans or erection ramming into him to know that he was loving this as much as he was.

Matt leaned down and brought their mouths together for another dizzying kiss that seemed hotter and more desperate than any of the others and Mello knew it had something to do with the tension that coiled in his belly like a snake.

He placed one of his hands atop Matt's to stroke himself faster; he was so damn close...

He arched into Matt and tensed as his orgasm ripped through him and coated both himself and Matt in his semen. Matt muttered a soft curse and buried himself in him a few more times before Mello felt the oddly warm sensation as Matt came inside him.

They lay, panting, gasping, side by side for a long moment before the air finally began to cool and their heart rates slowly returned to normal.

Matt kissed him again, softly, and he didn't protest when Matt shifted him into his arms, or when they wrapped around him. He looked up sleepily at the redhead, who wore a lazy smile, and grinned. "Love you." he murmured to Matt.

"Are we going to have to have sex every time I want to hear that from you?" Matt asked him jokingly with a smile. He rolled his eyes and pinched Matt's side and grinned at the yelp he received.

"No, but if it gets me more of this then I might have to think it over."

Matt laughed and kissed him.

Mello didn't really care if he became L... because he had Matt and that was way better.

**-End **_**AE**_**-**

**AN:** You didn't think I'd actually let Mello top did you? Pfft. And my new yaoi scene song is 'w.a.m.s' by fallout boy. It was also hard to write this with 'take it off, right now! Take it off, right now!' coming through my headphones. ('Take it off' by Ke$ha) Ha. (not to mention they just didn't want to...come...lol. Ask my beta... they weren't writing for me... I blame Matt...even though it was from Mello's perspective.. oh well)

So how was this for the alternate ending? Not sure how I did since I don't do 'happy' endings. As I told my beta I do bitter sweet with more bitter.

And in the creation of the nice yaoi at the end I accidently spelt 'penish' instead of 'penis' and had a mad laughing fit over it, ask Lady Hiroko who I was texting... it was hilarious... (say it out loud. Its just so...funny. Maybe it's just me... I guess cuz I was all in a yaoi writing mode and all serious and stuff and than WAM penish! *giggles*)

So some feedback would be appreciated. :)

**Thank you to all my reviewers and those who voted yes on the poll! **

**ALSO:** I wish to state that my new fic will probably be longer than Choices.. and possibly far more epic. My beta likes it... And I think I like it more than Choices… heh. It will be titled whatever wins the poll that is up on my profile. :)


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